People think showing love is controlling others, but no, that's actually only showing extreme pride in yourself and a high amount of disrespect for the other person. :)
Ultimately, we cannot force anyone to do anything. We cannot force them to think a certain way or to do certain things. We can try to affect people, but we cannot control them. Any attempt of anyone to control another really is foolish, if you really think about it, because it probably won't work.
When parents think they have total control over their kids, they are only fooling themselves. :) No person can have full and total control over anyone else. It is simply impossible, because people are not robots. We cannot dictate to anyone every little thing that they should do.
There is a very interesting movie related to this topic called "The Stepford Wives." In the movie the men in the movie do not like their dominating wives so they turn them into robots who will do and say whatever they, the husbands, want. I suppose that concept is appealing and that is why people want to create robots. But then you have all those sci-fi movies where the robots rebel. That might be significant actually because many people try to turn other people into robots, but it will never work, because people are people. People are unpredictable. You cannot force anyone to do anything, really. We all are free to make our own choices, because God created us that way. :)
I have learned this a lot this past 6 months being separated from my husband. I keep asking him to come home but he simply won't. So I am learning that lesson more and more every week, that other people cannot be controlled. It is impossible to make another person do what you want. We can try to influence others, but we cannot control others.
Control and power are common issues in marriages. One spouse often thinks they are better then the other and so they try to mold their spouse to become just like them. Hence why Paul said, "Those who are married will face many troubles in this life. I wish to spare you of this."
The only reason why one person would seek to control another is out of pride. They look down on the other person and so think the other person "needs" them to get them in line. One person loves to control and the other loves to BE controlled. Which one are you? ;) This is the dynamic in most marriages, sadly. And also in most parent child relationships.
Why don't we all just throw up our hands and say "I give up!" Because that's really all you can do. It is futile to try to make someone be or do something that they don't want to do. You have to just let it be and let people do and be want what they want, for the most part.
This is a common dynamic between an addict and a co-dependent also. What it really is, is that the addict feels bad about themselves and guilty about their addiction, so they allow themselves to be talked down to by the non-addict. And the non-addict has a lot of pride that they don't struggle with the particular sin that they addict does, so they try to control them. But I'm sure they struggle with something else. :)
So if you try to control others, stop. Look in the mirror. What do you struggle with? "He who is without sin cast the first stone right?" Yes. The Bible tells us to have self-control not other control. :)
Don't ever think you are better then others. We all struggle with something, so leave other people alone. :)
May God bless you all! :)
