Hook Ups

Don't risk everything for one day of fun, that might not even be fun. 😂

I have been in the hook up culture many times. Is a hook up a sin? Is it sexual immorality? Yes kind of but that is just dating now. Some angel voice told me to have a sex ministry at some point. Feel free to do it but stay safe. Use a condom or the pull out method every time. And if you have a blog or any project they become more interested after sex with you. 😂

I have had fun chatting on dating apps for 18 years now, every single dating app. Like for real. It is nice to just chat with or call people. You don't ever have to meet in person. But in two periods I had lots of hook up for 3 months each time. In both times I was trying to find a step dad for my kids. That angel voice said, "You're being too picky!" Maybe I was. It's hard to fall in love though. It can't happen in one day. Or you might feel love but they don't. Or they do and you don't. 

So I kept searching but was just disappointed each time. Most men had a dog or bad breath or lived with their mom or were always broke due to child support. My current man does have a dog which is interesting. His breath is ok. His mom is distant. And he is kind of broke but mostly ok. 

You will never find all that you want. There is no perfect person. Really you just need to meet your own needs. Yes I am referring to masterbation. Pleasure yourself. Make your own money. Forget about relying on someone who might resent your dependency. Unless that is your parents. They are supposed to help you but no one else really is supposed to. Ok if a guy got you pregnant he should always care for you. May God bring one of those two men back into my life someday. They were very special to me. 

The conclusion I came to after dating for 30 years now is there is no love, just con artistry. We give to get. Most only care about themselves. They don't want to give anything. So why do we? To get something but is that love? 

Love is giving and expecting nothing in return. You give because their happiness makes you happy. You give because it makes God happy. Go give something to someone and have fun. 

And if you have a mostly good person stick with them. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. "Love the one you're with." "There are no soul mates it's just who are you willing to make it work with." 

My Mom

 My whole life I have tried hard to impress my mom. I did sports and dancing and singing and got straight A's most of my life. I got a new house and a new car years ago. Did any of it work? She actually never said she was proud of me. Ok maybe she did but I don't remember when. I gave her 3 cute grand kids, won a karaoke idol contest, tried being a manager, went to India, Mexico and Taiwan, wrote 35 books, made 3k YouTube videos. Search Lisa Bedrick to see them. :) The only thing I failed in was not saving lots of money. That is next on my list. I will succeed! 

Of course I also wanted to impress God. May God say to me one day, "Well done good and faithful servant." 

Now 7k read my blog each day. Tell your friends and family about my blog. It is nice to have a voice. And go write a book or a blog. Then you will be happy. :) And I hope you all impress your parents and God a lot. 

Double Minded

 "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." The biggest problem in the world is that no one knows what they want. What do you want?

If you want kids make them. If you want cash make it. If you want love be nice. 

Focus on what you want and go after it. Don't put it off too long. You only get so many chances. If you don't have peace about a place or a person, change something. 

Life is full of so many paths we can walk down. Chose the most peaceful path. Maybe the most fun but for sure the peaceful one. 

Honor Your Parents

 Your parents generally know what is best for you. They have lived longer. If they think you need to be somewhere, be there. If they don't like a person you date, move on. Don't ignore their advice. They love you. They may not show the love in a way you feel loved but know they do. My mom helps me with money. I wish she could give me a room in her place but at least she helps me. She is my angel lately. I always feel she is protecting me and providing for me. We have been through a lot together. I hope we will always stay great friends. Remember to be a good friend to your kids and parents. They need you. 

Change

 Any change you do will be hard. What seems bad now might be nothing compared to what you could go through. Be grateful for what you have. Things can always be worse. The grass is greener on the other side maybe. Stability is nice. So what if you have the same old routine. We often go on a dating app because we think we want a different life. Most don't really though. We are creatures of habit. We like the routine and the predictable life that we know. 

Happiness can come with a change of scenery though. Embrace change. Do things always improve when you change a thing? Not always which is why we are scared of change. It is exciting and a bit risky. You never know if the new thing is better than the old thing. We often dream of a better life but what really is better? 

If you all want a change may you have the courage to change that thing today. Good luck and may God bless your efforts. "God will give you the desires of your hearts...I came that you might have an abundant life." 

Afraid of Love

 Are you afraid of love? Or afraid of people? "Fear of man proves to be a snare." "Be strong and courageous." It takes great courage to love because humans are capable of so much evil. You have to gain trust over time. You have to learn to trust them. Have faith in them. If they have faith in you do the same in return. What you expect of others is what they will do. The law of attraction. You get what you expect.

 We don't naturally trust anyone. Most are guilty until proven innocent sadly. That is why we all hide. We are too scared to trust and to love. We never know what to do with each other. Always walking on egg shells not wanting to anger them. "Single people are lonely. Married people are angry." Which is better? Hard to say. I usually pick the lonely option. So even if I am with someone I keep to myself mostly and feel single and free.  I like to be the only one in charge of me. I care what the trinity wants and often ask their opinion individually but overall I run my own life. Only you really know what you want. What do you have peace about? What makes you feel calm and beautiful? What really makes you happy?  Do that. 

3 Weeks

 The last 3 weeks have been heaven. I got to have my sweet house mate cook lunch for me almost every day. I got plenty of sleep. This house is peaceful and quiet. I had some great sex. I only worked 2 days. That was bittersweet. Part of me wanted to work more but oh well. My bed is the most special bed I've ever had. My mom came through every Friday on helping me with my rent. The food was always good and plentiful. It pays to stay with a retired guy. Who I love very much. :)

I do kind of miss going out more though. We just go to Walmart at times together which is still fun. I turned him down on a pizza date. How rude of me. :( 

I have been a bit bitter that he won't give me rides to work or interviews. But then I remember I always walked to school and I was fine. It's been 19 years since I walked all over outside. So funny. I really wanted to get a job and take care of him but not many places are hiring. Pray for us. Maybe I'll migrate and find work and a room to rent somewhere else.