Please pray for my boyfriend and I. We are trying to decide if we should stay in my house or move to an apartment close to his job up north of us. Thanks all!
We have been having tons of fun this month. He got to have some time off work so we have gotten to hang out a lot more. It really has helped me not miss my two daughters as much. We both love bike riding so we went riding at a park by us and a river trial and down some country roads yesterday. That was super awesome! We had fun playing pool a few times. And we love talking about anything and everything.
He is much younger then me but we seem more like the same age for many reasons. He is very mature and I appreciate him very, very much. He is the brightest rainbow I've ever had in my life and the best gift from God Ever. I love him very much! Go Josh! :)
Thursday, January 16, 2020
Sunday, January 5, 2020
Do Good to be Blessed
God is the supplier of all things. He is your source for everything and anything. You have to trust God for what you need, because only He is your ultimate source. He is the source of all life. The reason you are breathing right now is because of God. The reason you are as healthy as you are now is because of God. So why would you not live in such a way that he would approve of you? It really is silly not to. Why would you not want to please the ruler of the universe in any way you can. You really think you can ignore his wishes and expect to have a good life? That's why I don't understand so many people who deliberately disobey God. I don't understand people who have absolutely no fear of God punishing them for doing certain things. God is watching you 24/7. And God IS judging you 24/7. This concept that God is only love is false. God is love, but he is also just. God is kind, but he can also be fierce. God does not tolerate disobedience. Just because his voice doesn't boom out of the clouds to correct you when you do wrong does not mean he will not punish you for doing wrong things.
God punishes us partly through pain or illnesses. When Jesus healed the man by the pool of Bethesda he told him, "Now go and sin no more or something worse might happen to you." Sometimes our physical issues are a direct punishment for our sins. Not always, but sometimes. The Bible says we WILL reap what we sow. That is a law. God sometimes has mercy on people. He sometimes heals us when we don't deserve it. But generally, we will all reap what we sow.
If we sow a sinful lifestyle, we Will reap pain and sickness and hardship. If we sow goodness and right living, we will reap provision and protection from God.
Every time God spoke to the Israelites in the Old Testement this concept of rewards and curses was expressed. God would tell his people "If you do good, I will bless you, but if you do evil, I will curse you and cause bad things to happen to you." If you don't believe me, read the Old Testament.
For some reason now Christians feel entitled to all good things from God regardless of how they live their life. But no, that is a deception from Satan. The FEAR of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. You can't live however you want and expect God to reward you with all the things you want. We are rewarded by God Based On Our Behavior. If you sow life, and make decision that lead to life, you will reap life. If you make decisions that lead to death, you will reap death. God is the same today, yesterday and forever. He does not change. If you want good things to happen to you, be a good person. If you want people to love you, then love them. If you want people to respect you, then respect them. "Respect is not given, it is earned." And God blessing you is not an automatic thing for anyone. God's blessings have to be earned. I'm not saying eternal salvation, I'm talking about his blessings.
You can't expect to reap good thing if you sow only evil and bad. God does not work like that. Sow good, do good, if you want to reap good things.
Remember to always have a healthy fear and respect of God and your life will go better.
May God bless you all! If you do good. lol :)
God punishes us partly through pain or illnesses. When Jesus healed the man by the pool of Bethesda he told him, "Now go and sin no more or something worse might happen to you." Sometimes our physical issues are a direct punishment for our sins. Not always, but sometimes. The Bible says we WILL reap what we sow. That is a law. God sometimes has mercy on people. He sometimes heals us when we don't deserve it. But generally, we will all reap what we sow.
If we sow a sinful lifestyle, we Will reap pain and sickness and hardship. If we sow goodness and right living, we will reap provision and protection from God.
Every time God spoke to the Israelites in the Old Testement this concept of rewards and curses was expressed. God would tell his people "If you do good, I will bless you, but if you do evil, I will curse you and cause bad things to happen to you." If you don't believe me, read the Old Testament.
For some reason now Christians feel entitled to all good things from God regardless of how they live their life. But no, that is a deception from Satan. The FEAR of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. You can't live however you want and expect God to reward you with all the things you want. We are rewarded by God Based On Our Behavior. If you sow life, and make decision that lead to life, you will reap life. If you make decisions that lead to death, you will reap death. God is the same today, yesterday and forever. He does not change. If you want good things to happen to you, be a good person. If you want people to love you, then love them. If you want people to respect you, then respect them. "Respect is not given, it is earned." And God blessing you is not an automatic thing for anyone. God's blessings have to be earned. I'm not saying eternal salvation, I'm talking about his blessings.
You can't expect to reap good thing if you sow only evil and bad. God does not work like that. Sow good, do good, if you want to reap good things.
Remember to always have a healthy fear and respect of God and your life will go better.
May God bless you all! If you do good. lol :)
Look to God
Just because people tell you that you have problems don’t let that bring you down. God made you perfect! And he can always sustain you and your mental health. God is the best healer ever! If you do have problems, as we all do, look to God and God alone to heal you. He will. You need only to Believe. 😀👍🏼
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Prayers for my Family
Here is my blog praying for everyone I love very, very much. :)
God I lift up my mom to you. I pray that all the bitterness she's been carrying against me for 30 years now will melt away like butter right now God, in the name of Jesus! Help her to see the truth about her heart. Help her to realize how much she hates me and has always hated me. Help her to finally see how sinful it is to hate her own daughter. Thank you for transforming her mind and her heart God! I pray that she will truly be the great Christian woman you know she can be. I know it's in there somewhere. It just is so hidden so often and it's very sad.
Thank you God for my step dad David. Thank you for how well he takes care of my mom. I pray that his health will be ok for a long time and that you will always bless him abundantly. I praise you God for how well he has provided for me and my mom all these past 17 years. He has truly been a huge blessing in our life for so long. Thank you for the angel he has always been to me and my mom, even when we didn't deserve it.
Thank you God for my ex husband Ben. Thank you that we had 6 wonderful years together. Thank you for answering my prayers and restoring his mind so that he can be a normal person again. Thank you for giving him your peace that never dies. Give him your joy now God and a hope for the future. Help him to never stop believing that all his dreams really can come true. :) I pray that you will continue to protect him from whoever was trying to attack him and ruin his life. Thank you God for providing a safe harbor for him at his parent's house this past 6 months.
Thank you God for protecting my daugthers and that they are well provided for. Please keep their joy alive. Help them to not despair at all in this time of them being away from me. Help them to keep their hope alive that they will see me again someday. I pray they will get 10 times stronger and smarter in this time. Make this family crisis only make them stronger and not weaker God. Just like my rough childhood made me the wise and humble person I am today, I pray it will have only that effect on them as well. Shelter them in this time and keep them under the shadow of your magnificent and beautiful wings God. Give them lots of fun times with their dad in this time and thank you that they at least get to be around him.
And thank you God that Ben's parents will become anointed and spirit filled and a mighty, powerful force to be reckoned with for you someday. Thank you that you are using this heartbreaking time to transform their minds and hearts. God they need you SO MUCH. Help them to see how much they need you. Help them to stop being so prideful. Help them to depend on you only now and not money or doctors or anything else. Help them to only put their hope and trust in you for once God. Thank you for that. God I think you brought about this situation to break off their pride and their illusion of being self-sufficient. God show them how much they need you and may they cry out to you in this time. Make them the best parents to Ben and the BEST grandparents to my girls in the entire world! Thank you God. Thank you for humbling them God. You oppose the proud but give grace to the humble. God show them they need to be more humble.
And thank you God for using this family crisis to humble me. I know I was thinking I was a princess for so long because my life was so easy and blessed. I was arrogant and proud and judgmental. But you used this time to break all that off of me God and to transform my mind and my heart. I want to be more like you God. Empty me of me and make me more loving like you. It is your kindness that leads others to repentance, not hard judgement. Thank you God for helping me fully realize that. God you are helping me humble myself and realize my life is not all about me. Thank you God for bringing many new friends into my life this past 6 months that I can serve and love. Thank you that when the timing is right you will bring me an awesome job where I can serve others. And THANK YOU for meeting all my needs in my time of being essentially a widow. I praise you God for that!
I pray for my older brother God. I pray that all the bitterness he has been holding onto for 38 years now will melt away like butter. God please show him how angry he is. Hold a mirror up to him and help him to really see his own heart and how hard it is. God I pray that you would remove his heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh. Help him to become a more soft person. Help him to love others the way you love us. Thank you for making him an amazing man for you God. I believe you will do that. Thank you God for that. :)
And God please forgive me for any hurtful things I said to any of these people that I love very much. Thank you God for forgiving me. Help me to only speak good things to anyone I love from here on out. Help me to speak life only and not death. Help me to heal with my words and not wound anyone anymore. Help me to really believe in people and to not give up on people ever again. Thank you God that ALL things are possible for any of us, with your help.
And thank you God for my current angel Josh. I pray you will bless him abundantly always. Thank you for giving him a job that he loves very much. Thank you for his wonderful and pure heart. Thank you for his innocence and all his kindness towards me. No one has ever loved me so much in my life as he does. I have never felt someone's love as much as I feel his love for me. It truly is amazing. He is such a huge blessing to me. I praise you God for how well you formed Josh's heart to be the best fiance for me ever. I treasure him very much and I pray you will help us stay together forever. :)
Thank you God for my best friend of 21 years Ashley. I pray you will bless her with a man as great as Josh. Help her to really believe in love. Help her to keep having hope that there are GREAT and pure and good men out there. Help her to see the truth, that she can find a really great guy. Help her to stay in faith and to stay positive. Thank you God for all the wisdom she has given me over the years. I have never known anyone wiser then her. Ever. Thank you God for ASHLEY! :)
And God please bless Bryan. Thank you for his time of being in my life. I had so much fun with him. I didn't mean to hurt him. I pray he will forgive me and I pray you will send him the perfect princess for him who is Christian to take good care of him and his son. God bless his son Kris and help him to always be happy. I pray if possible that Bryan and Jen will get back together so Kris can have both his parents together again. Thank you for my time of getting to care for Kris and love him. He is such a special and wonderful boy. God bless them both abundantly. :)
And God please bless Meka, Nate's fiance. Help her to have wisdom in how to be the best woman ever for my brother. Help her to have patience with him. Give her your peace and help her to guide him into your arms God. Thank you for her influence in his life. I pray you will bless their relationship and help them to love each other perfectly, with your love. Thank you SO much for what a great woman of God she is. I love her very much! :)
And God please bless my nephew Dylan. I pray he will find a perfect woman someday who will treat him very, very well. Help him to be very, very wise in who he picks to be with. Help him to never get desperate in dating and help him to wait on you for the best girl ever! Thank you God that you will bring him a great girl when he's ready.
Thank you God for all these great people you have brought into my life. I pray my influence on them has been more positive then negative. I pray for any future people you bring into my life, that I will only shine your love on them. Help me to have unity in an future friendships that I have and I pray Satan will not be able to disunify me from anyone ever again. I promise to hold up my shield of faith and never let Satan get a win over me again to seperate me from anyone I love.
May God bless you all! Remember to pray every day for all those you love as well. God bless!
God I lift up my mom to you. I pray that all the bitterness she's been carrying against me for 30 years now will melt away like butter right now God, in the name of Jesus! Help her to see the truth about her heart. Help her to realize how much she hates me and has always hated me. Help her to finally see how sinful it is to hate her own daughter. Thank you for transforming her mind and her heart God! I pray that she will truly be the great Christian woman you know she can be. I know it's in there somewhere. It just is so hidden so often and it's very sad.
Thank you God for my step dad David. Thank you for how well he takes care of my mom. I pray that his health will be ok for a long time and that you will always bless him abundantly. I praise you God for how well he has provided for me and my mom all these past 17 years. He has truly been a huge blessing in our life for so long. Thank you for the angel he has always been to me and my mom, even when we didn't deserve it.
Thank you God for my ex husband Ben. Thank you that we had 6 wonderful years together. Thank you for answering my prayers and restoring his mind so that he can be a normal person again. Thank you for giving him your peace that never dies. Give him your joy now God and a hope for the future. Help him to never stop believing that all his dreams really can come true. :) I pray that you will continue to protect him from whoever was trying to attack him and ruin his life. Thank you God for providing a safe harbor for him at his parent's house this past 6 months.
Thank you God for protecting my daugthers and that they are well provided for. Please keep their joy alive. Help them to not despair at all in this time of them being away from me. Help them to keep their hope alive that they will see me again someday. I pray they will get 10 times stronger and smarter in this time. Make this family crisis only make them stronger and not weaker God. Just like my rough childhood made me the wise and humble person I am today, I pray it will have only that effect on them as well. Shelter them in this time and keep them under the shadow of your magnificent and beautiful wings God. Give them lots of fun times with their dad in this time and thank you that they at least get to be around him.
And thank you God that Ben's parents will become anointed and spirit filled and a mighty, powerful force to be reckoned with for you someday. Thank you that you are using this heartbreaking time to transform their minds and hearts. God they need you SO MUCH. Help them to see how much they need you. Help them to stop being so prideful. Help them to depend on you only now and not money or doctors or anything else. Help them to only put their hope and trust in you for once God. Thank you for that. God I think you brought about this situation to break off their pride and their illusion of being self-sufficient. God show them how much they need you and may they cry out to you in this time. Make them the best parents to Ben and the BEST grandparents to my girls in the entire world! Thank you God. Thank you for humbling them God. You oppose the proud but give grace to the humble. God show them they need to be more humble.
And thank you God for using this family crisis to humble me. I know I was thinking I was a princess for so long because my life was so easy and blessed. I was arrogant and proud and judgmental. But you used this time to break all that off of me God and to transform my mind and my heart. I want to be more like you God. Empty me of me and make me more loving like you. It is your kindness that leads others to repentance, not hard judgement. Thank you God for helping me fully realize that. God you are helping me humble myself and realize my life is not all about me. Thank you God for bringing many new friends into my life this past 6 months that I can serve and love. Thank you that when the timing is right you will bring me an awesome job where I can serve others. And THANK YOU for meeting all my needs in my time of being essentially a widow. I praise you God for that!
I pray for my older brother God. I pray that all the bitterness he has been holding onto for 38 years now will melt away like butter. God please show him how angry he is. Hold a mirror up to him and help him to really see his own heart and how hard it is. God I pray that you would remove his heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh. Help him to become a more soft person. Help him to love others the way you love us. Thank you for making him an amazing man for you God. I believe you will do that. Thank you God for that. :)
And God please forgive me for any hurtful things I said to any of these people that I love very much. Thank you God for forgiving me. Help me to only speak good things to anyone I love from here on out. Help me to speak life only and not death. Help me to heal with my words and not wound anyone anymore. Help me to really believe in people and to not give up on people ever again. Thank you God that ALL things are possible for any of us, with your help.
And thank you God for my current angel Josh. I pray you will bless him abundantly always. Thank you for giving him a job that he loves very much. Thank you for his wonderful and pure heart. Thank you for his innocence and all his kindness towards me. No one has ever loved me so much in my life as he does. I have never felt someone's love as much as I feel his love for me. It truly is amazing. He is such a huge blessing to me. I praise you God for how well you formed Josh's heart to be the best fiance for me ever. I treasure him very much and I pray you will help us stay together forever. :)
Thank you God for my best friend of 21 years Ashley. I pray you will bless her with a man as great as Josh. Help her to really believe in love. Help her to keep having hope that there are GREAT and pure and good men out there. Help her to see the truth, that she can find a really great guy. Help her to stay in faith and to stay positive. Thank you God for all the wisdom she has given me over the years. I have never known anyone wiser then her. Ever. Thank you God for ASHLEY! :)
And God please bless Bryan. Thank you for his time of being in my life. I had so much fun with him. I didn't mean to hurt him. I pray he will forgive me and I pray you will send him the perfect princess for him who is Christian to take good care of him and his son. God bless his son Kris and help him to always be happy. I pray if possible that Bryan and Jen will get back together so Kris can have both his parents together again. Thank you for my time of getting to care for Kris and love him. He is such a special and wonderful boy. God bless them both abundantly. :)
And God please bless Meka, Nate's fiance. Help her to have wisdom in how to be the best woman ever for my brother. Help her to have patience with him. Give her your peace and help her to guide him into your arms God. Thank you for her influence in his life. I pray you will bless their relationship and help them to love each other perfectly, with your love. Thank you SO much for what a great woman of God she is. I love her very much! :)
And God please bless my nephew Dylan. I pray he will find a perfect woman someday who will treat him very, very well. Help him to be very, very wise in who he picks to be with. Help him to never get desperate in dating and help him to wait on you for the best girl ever! Thank you God that you will bring him a great girl when he's ready.
Thank you God for all these great people you have brought into my life. I pray my influence on them has been more positive then negative. I pray for any future people you bring into my life, that I will only shine your love on them. Help me to have unity in an future friendships that I have and I pray Satan will not be able to disunify me from anyone ever again. I promise to hold up my shield of faith and never let Satan get a win over me again to seperate me from anyone I love.
May God bless you all! Remember to pray every day for all those you love as well. God bless!
Parenting
The only useful things my dad taught me were "righty tighty and lefty loosy" for tightening a bolt, and that Kiss stands for keep it simple stupid. And he always told me to be the big fish in the small pond, meaning be the smartest person wherever you are. He told me A's in school were like golden nuggets and to gather as many of them as I could. That analogy must have worked well for me because I got all A's my entire time in school. Well, I got some C's in college but oh well. :)
I honestly can't remember a single thing my mom taught me, other then if you can learn to cook well, others will probably like you more. She could make some really amazing lasagna and chili. :) She taught me, without words, that being a single mom is an absolutely miserable life, so I swore to myself that I would never be a single mom. She was a single mom for 8 years. :(
And now my first marriage has fallen apart, and that's why I let my ex husband have my two daughters for now. I did not want the burden of being a single mom. I don't know how single moms do it, but I always knew I wouldn't do that. I hope to see them again someday though. Please pray for wisdom for all of us on when that would be best. I loved those girls more then my own life, but every mom needs a break sometimes, because motherhood is, for sure, the hardest job anyone will ever do.
I was just thinking about how odd it all is. On the outside we looked like the perfect family, and we truly actually were the perfect family for 6 years. What went wrong mainly was that I let my girls drink from a bottle for too long. That caused a lot of tension between me and my ex mother in law. I'm pretty sure my ex mother in law absolutely hated me just for that one reason and thought I was a bad mom. There really was no other reason for her to think I was a bad mom. I let my 4 year old still drink from a bottle. I know, it's insane. I just couldn't get her to like any sippy cups. And I have always had a fear of spilling milk all over and having a horrible smell in the house from spilled milk. But I firmly believed the girls needed lots of milk to keep their weight up. And they did.
Now my girls are living with my ex and his parents and my oldest girl is looking freakishly skinny, which worries me and makes me very sad. I know my ex mother in law was always very anti milk, which I never understood, but please pray that Serenity is still getting plenty of calories. I always worried about her weight, like that she would get too skinny.
My youngest daughter always ate great. Anything I made for her, she would eat. I suppose that's why she was my favorite. I know moms aren't supposed to have a favorite, but when your kid eats your food, it helps you to like them more. :) I had a hard time getting my oldest girl to eat much, except grapes and popcorn. I think she struggles with constipation so that might be why.
It's possible I didn't hug my oldest daughter enough and that's why she struggled with constipation. I'm sure the amount of hugs and attention you get can affect your health. She was always very indepedent though and didn't seem to need me much. So then my focus was often on my youngest daughter, because she seemed to have less energy then my older daughter. My oldest one Seemed fine. She was always super hyper and happy, but maybe she wasn't really fine. Maybe she was just good at putting on a show but she really needed more from me. That is very possible. I do think I didn't give Serenity, my oldest, as much love as I gave to Joy, the youngest, and I do regret that a lot. Maybe I'll get another chance to have more kids and I'll be a better mom next time. :)
I have always thought the oldest kid has the worst luck because the parent is basically practicing parenting on them. :( For real. Parents learn by trial and error with their first kid on a lot of things. Then by the second kid they are a master. :)
But God please help my oldest daughter. I pray that she will eat well always. I pray her constipation won't hurt her anymore. I pray those in charge of her will only give her good, healthy food for her body and that she will always, always be fed and cared for well. Thank you God for protecting both my girls. Thank you that they will always be happy. And I pray they don't miss me too much. Thank you they at least get to be with their dad.
And if you all pray for them too, thank you!
May God bless you all. :)
I honestly can't remember a single thing my mom taught me, other then if you can learn to cook well, others will probably like you more. She could make some really amazing lasagna and chili. :) She taught me, without words, that being a single mom is an absolutely miserable life, so I swore to myself that I would never be a single mom. She was a single mom for 8 years. :(
And now my first marriage has fallen apart, and that's why I let my ex husband have my two daughters for now. I did not want the burden of being a single mom. I don't know how single moms do it, but I always knew I wouldn't do that. I hope to see them again someday though. Please pray for wisdom for all of us on when that would be best. I loved those girls more then my own life, but every mom needs a break sometimes, because motherhood is, for sure, the hardest job anyone will ever do.
I was just thinking about how odd it all is. On the outside we looked like the perfect family, and we truly actually were the perfect family for 6 years. What went wrong mainly was that I let my girls drink from a bottle for too long. That caused a lot of tension between me and my ex mother in law. I'm pretty sure my ex mother in law absolutely hated me just for that one reason and thought I was a bad mom. There really was no other reason for her to think I was a bad mom. I let my 4 year old still drink from a bottle. I know, it's insane. I just couldn't get her to like any sippy cups. And I have always had a fear of spilling milk all over and having a horrible smell in the house from spilled milk. But I firmly believed the girls needed lots of milk to keep their weight up. And they did.
Now my girls are living with my ex and his parents and my oldest girl is looking freakishly skinny, which worries me and makes me very sad. I know my ex mother in law was always very anti milk, which I never understood, but please pray that Serenity is still getting plenty of calories. I always worried about her weight, like that she would get too skinny.
My youngest daughter always ate great. Anything I made for her, she would eat. I suppose that's why she was my favorite. I know moms aren't supposed to have a favorite, but when your kid eats your food, it helps you to like them more. :) I had a hard time getting my oldest girl to eat much, except grapes and popcorn. I think she struggles with constipation so that might be why.
It's possible I didn't hug my oldest daughter enough and that's why she struggled with constipation. I'm sure the amount of hugs and attention you get can affect your health. She was always very indepedent though and didn't seem to need me much. So then my focus was often on my youngest daughter, because she seemed to have less energy then my older daughter. My oldest one Seemed fine. She was always super hyper and happy, but maybe she wasn't really fine. Maybe she was just good at putting on a show but she really needed more from me. That is very possible. I do think I didn't give Serenity, my oldest, as much love as I gave to Joy, the youngest, and I do regret that a lot. Maybe I'll get another chance to have more kids and I'll be a better mom next time. :)
I have always thought the oldest kid has the worst luck because the parent is basically practicing parenting on them. :( For real. Parents learn by trial and error with their first kid on a lot of things. Then by the second kid they are a master. :)
But God please help my oldest daughter. I pray that she will eat well always. I pray her constipation won't hurt her anymore. I pray those in charge of her will only give her good, healthy food for her body and that she will always, always be fed and cared for well. Thank you God for protecting both my girls. Thank you that they will always be happy. And I pray they don't miss me too much. Thank you they at least get to be with their dad.
And if you all pray for them too, thank you!
May God bless you all. :)
Friday, January 3, 2020
Huge Praise Report
Praise God I found a gorgeous and affordable apt. in Temple for my sweetie and I. It's only $700 for a two bedroom. What an awesome deal that is! :) And I already might have a care.com nanny job up there. It's blocks away from tons of great restaurants. What a blessing! Things are looking up. I'm excited for us to move up to Temple. It will be great! :)
Complaints and Praises
Here's all the things I could complain about. I'm basically an orphan and a widow now. My dad is in prison serving a 10 year sentence for being a child molester. Good job to my mom for picking him right? Yes I have been angry at her about that almost my entire life. That's why I didn't have kids till I was 28, because I wanted to be sure I picked a good guy. But then the guy I picked went crazy. My mom now seems to have disowned me and blames me for my ex husband becoming a paranoid delusional schizophrenia. I don't know why. It wasn't my fault at all. My older brother blames me for it too. They both seem to hate me now. So in the last 6 months I lost my husband, my mom, my brother And my two daughters. I lovingly gave my two daughters, for now, to my ex husband and his parents really just to keep him from commiting suicide, which I thought he was close to. Now I'm in our house still that might foreclose soon and I might be evicted any day.
But hey I have one bright rainbow in my life. I'm 35 but somehow I get to have a hot 22 year old boyfriend. So that's really nice. :) He is my sunshine currently. I love you Josh! :)
I had a 40 year old boyfriend who had a new house all set up that I could have moved into, but I realized I was tired of having to deal with guys' crazy exes. My ex husband had a crazy ex, which is really why he went crazy when married to me. She had cheated on him the entire second year of their marriage 15 years ago, but he had no idea she was. So then over the last year of our marriage he kept suspecting that I would end up being just like her. He constantly said I was cheating on him with a cop etc. No matter how much I said I wasn't he refused to believe me. There really was nothing I could do to convince him that I wasn't like her. Finally after 6 months of him constantly accusing me of cheating on him, when I WASN'T, I finally said "I give up. I don't know how to help you." His ex wife made it almost impossible for him to trust people. It's a miracle I guess that he trusted me for our first 6 years of marriage. But I can't imagine going through that, finding out after a year that your spouse had been cheating on you that whole time.
The guy I was with before my ex husband had had a crazy ex wife too. I'm quite sure she was actually possessed for most of their marriage, from what he told me about her.
And my previous 40 year old boyfriend had two crazy ex wives who made his life hell in many ways.
So it only seems logical I would want a guy who finally had no exes. I met Josh 5 months after my ex husband moved out and swore he would never come home. He thinks dozens of people are trying to kill him here in Austin for some reason, so he refuses to come back here. I have no idea why he thinks that. I have never felt unsafe here at all.
But praise God for Josh! I think he and I will be very happy together for the rest of our lives. He is a miracle and an angel sent to me from God, I'm quite sure. I was his first kiss and first everything. Very romantic I think. :) And I plan on sticking with my hot 22 year old boyfriend until I die. What 35 year old gets to have a hot and smart 22 year old to be with? Not many. So for that I feel that I am very lucky and very blessed, and I will cherish him always. :) He is the one thing I have to be grateful for right now. And that I am still somehow able to live in my house. I am very grateful for that as well.
So I praise you God for Josh and for what a great friend and boyfriend he is. And I pray we will really stay together for the next 50 years I might have left of life. I always wanted to be married to someone for 50 years. My grandparents stayed together 65 years. They hated each other half the time, but hey at least they stayed together. lol :)
My first serious relationship fiancé died, due to drinking while being on too many meds. My ex husband went schizophrenic on me. But hey the third time is a charm right? Hopefully that will be true in my life. :)
Please pray for me and Josh, that we will be happy together always and that nothing will be able to break us up. We love each other very, very much. And that is awesome. :) I have never loved a guy as much as I love him. He is the most handsome guy I have ever seen, hands down. And he is the smartest guy I have ever talked to. His dad is a lawyer so that makes sense. :)
I am blown away sometimes that I get to be with him. Every time I look at him I'm in awe of how beautiful God made him. He is perfect! But hey, God blesses his children and he certainly blessed me with bringing me Josh. So thank you God for Josh. :)
I pray you all can have an angel sent into your life when you most need one as well. Just keep serving God as best as you can and he Will reward you. Stay in faith through the hard times. Keep believing God can always work all things for your good, and He Will. ;)
May God bless you all! And thank you for praying for me, if you are. I really appreciate it. ;)
But hey I have one bright rainbow in my life. I'm 35 but somehow I get to have a hot 22 year old boyfriend. So that's really nice. :) He is my sunshine currently. I love you Josh! :)
I had a 40 year old boyfriend who had a new house all set up that I could have moved into, but I realized I was tired of having to deal with guys' crazy exes. My ex husband had a crazy ex, which is really why he went crazy when married to me. She had cheated on him the entire second year of their marriage 15 years ago, but he had no idea she was. So then over the last year of our marriage he kept suspecting that I would end up being just like her. He constantly said I was cheating on him with a cop etc. No matter how much I said I wasn't he refused to believe me. There really was nothing I could do to convince him that I wasn't like her. Finally after 6 months of him constantly accusing me of cheating on him, when I WASN'T, I finally said "I give up. I don't know how to help you." His ex wife made it almost impossible for him to trust people. It's a miracle I guess that he trusted me for our first 6 years of marriage. But I can't imagine going through that, finding out after a year that your spouse had been cheating on you that whole time.
The guy I was with before my ex husband had had a crazy ex wife too. I'm quite sure she was actually possessed for most of their marriage, from what he told me about her.
And my previous 40 year old boyfriend had two crazy ex wives who made his life hell in many ways.
So it only seems logical I would want a guy who finally had no exes. I met Josh 5 months after my ex husband moved out and swore he would never come home. He thinks dozens of people are trying to kill him here in Austin for some reason, so he refuses to come back here. I have no idea why he thinks that. I have never felt unsafe here at all.
But praise God for Josh! I think he and I will be very happy together for the rest of our lives. He is a miracle and an angel sent to me from God, I'm quite sure. I was his first kiss and first everything. Very romantic I think. :) And I plan on sticking with my hot 22 year old boyfriend until I die. What 35 year old gets to have a hot and smart 22 year old to be with? Not many. So for that I feel that I am very lucky and very blessed, and I will cherish him always. :) He is the one thing I have to be grateful for right now. And that I am still somehow able to live in my house. I am very grateful for that as well.
So I praise you God for Josh and for what a great friend and boyfriend he is. And I pray we will really stay together for the next 50 years I might have left of life. I always wanted to be married to someone for 50 years. My grandparents stayed together 65 years. They hated each other half the time, but hey at least they stayed together. lol :)
My first serious relationship fiancé died, due to drinking while being on too many meds. My ex husband went schizophrenic on me. But hey the third time is a charm right? Hopefully that will be true in my life. :)
Please pray for me and Josh, that we will be happy together always and that nothing will be able to break us up. We love each other very, very much. And that is awesome. :) I have never loved a guy as much as I love him. He is the most handsome guy I have ever seen, hands down. And he is the smartest guy I have ever talked to. His dad is a lawyer so that makes sense. :)
I am blown away sometimes that I get to be with him. Every time I look at him I'm in awe of how beautiful God made him. He is perfect! But hey, God blesses his children and he certainly blessed me with bringing me Josh. So thank you God for Josh. :)
I pray you all can have an angel sent into your life when you most need one as well. Just keep serving God as best as you can and he Will reward you. Stay in faith through the hard times. Keep believing God can always work all things for your good, and He Will. ;)
May God bless you all! And thank you for praying for me, if you are. I really appreciate it. ;)
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Remember to REST
God you are GOOD. No matter what I do in my life or what happens to me I will choose to be thankful. Thank you that the spirit of heaviness will not stay on me for long. Even in the cloudy gloomy winter days, thank you that you can be my sunshine every day. Thank you that you are a bright shinning star in my life 24/7 that I can look to for joy.
Thank you that you meet my every need and I never need to be ungrateful. Thank you God for providing for me and protecting me. Thank you for all you have blessed me with. I praise you for how you made me and where you put me. Thank you for the good days and the bad days, because I know you are right here with me in both the good and bad days.
Help me to be more kind and gentle God. Help me God to see how much you have blessed me. Don't let Satan blind me to all the ways you have Blessed me. Help me to always stay thankful.
Thank you God for a peaceful and easy time now. Thank you for your rest God.
"He makes me lie down in green pastures. He restores my soul." Sometimes you have to Make us lay down, don't you God? We naturally want to work hard and strain and push ourselves to our limits. But you make us lay down God, due to a headache or a sickness. You make us remember to lay down and rest.
Thank you God for your wonderful rest. :)
Thank you that you meet my every need and I never need to be ungrateful. Thank you God for providing for me and protecting me. Thank you for all you have blessed me with. I praise you for how you made me and where you put me. Thank you for the good days and the bad days, because I know you are right here with me in both the good and bad days.
Help me to be more kind and gentle God. Help me God to see how much you have blessed me. Don't let Satan blind me to all the ways you have Blessed me. Help me to always stay thankful.
Thank you God for a peaceful and easy time now. Thank you for your rest God.
"He makes me lie down in green pastures. He restores my soul." Sometimes you have to Make us lay down, don't you God? We naturally want to work hard and strain and push ourselves to our limits. But you make us lay down God, due to a headache or a sickness. You make us remember to lay down and rest.
Thank you God for your wonderful rest. :)
Allergy Torture :(
God seems to let us experience pain so we will remember how much we need him. I think he likes to remind us of our frailty also, at times. Not so he can laugh at us. But so that we will run to him.
Allergy headaches are that thing for me. They sure do keep me humble. I cannot even even count the number of bad allergy headaches I have had in my lifetime. I do somewhat blame them on all the vaccines I got. Vaccines Can make allergies much worse then they would have been for you naturally. Also I read Austin, where I live, is the allergy capital of the U.S. thanks to all the Cedar trees here. I have referred to their effect as mustard gas being in the air every winter. It seems like it's mustard gas. :( I have done everything on high Cedar days to feel better; taking a hot bath, running a humidifier, drinking coffee...Those help some but it's still painful. Since I picked up smoking, smoking actually helps my headaches to feel better. It's hard to say if that or taking an Advil is better. One can cause cancer and the other ulcers. hm...
I love how Joyce Meyer says when you follow God sometimes that means staying in places you would rather run away from or leaving places where you would prefer to stay. I love my house but yeah, the Cedar in this area is a killer. May God lead and guide me and my fiance on where to live and when.
But on the other hand I feel like God is saying I can stay in this house forever. Not sure how. Every time I pray and ask God how long me and Josh can live here I feel like God says "forever." And I'm like "Really? How? God I believe but help me in my unbelief." When my ex and I bought this house I had thought I would get to live here forever. That would be nice, that's for sure. The Cedar in the area is hard, but other then that I have never loved a place I have lived in more. The neighborhood is gorgeous. I had always dreamed of having my own house in a beautiful neighborhood like mine is. My neighbors are all really great people. Praise God for them. :)
I'm trying to stay in faith that that will be possible. One possible thing I was thinking was maybe I could get hired to be a teacher somewhere finally and I could buy this house, or have it in my name and make the payments on it. Or maybe Josh's parents could help us to be able to stay here. That would be cool. :)
We have a back up plan though. There is an apartment in Belton in a perfect location we are thinking of moving to, and a couple nice rent houses up there that could work.
This line of my fav song brings me comfort in this time, "Even when I don't see it you're working. Even when I don't feel it you're working."
Maybe God just had me go through this process of a house possibly foreclosing because thousands of other people go through this at some time in their life. Now I can say I know what that's like. I can add that to my list of hard times I can relate to others on.
If you have gone through that we both know what it's like now. ;)
God loves you all! Try to stay in faith that good things will happen to you, even when times seem hard. And always believe that God is working things out for your good if you love him, because he is. God bless! :)
Allergy headaches are that thing for me. They sure do keep me humble. I cannot even even count the number of bad allergy headaches I have had in my lifetime. I do somewhat blame them on all the vaccines I got. Vaccines Can make allergies much worse then they would have been for you naturally. Also I read Austin, where I live, is the allergy capital of the U.S. thanks to all the Cedar trees here. I have referred to their effect as mustard gas being in the air every winter. It seems like it's mustard gas. :( I have done everything on high Cedar days to feel better; taking a hot bath, running a humidifier, drinking coffee...Those help some but it's still painful. Since I picked up smoking, smoking actually helps my headaches to feel better. It's hard to say if that or taking an Advil is better. One can cause cancer and the other ulcers. hm...
I love how Joyce Meyer says when you follow God sometimes that means staying in places you would rather run away from or leaving places where you would prefer to stay. I love my house but yeah, the Cedar in this area is a killer. May God lead and guide me and my fiance on where to live and when.
But on the other hand I feel like God is saying I can stay in this house forever. Not sure how. Every time I pray and ask God how long me and Josh can live here I feel like God says "forever." And I'm like "Really? How? God I believe but help me in my unbelief." When my ex and I bought this house I had thought I would get to live here forever. That would be nice, that's for sure. The Cedar in the area is hard, but other then that I have never loved a place I have lived in more. The neighborhood is gorgeous. I had always dreamed of having my own house in a beautiful neighborhood like mine is. My neighbors are all really great people. Praise God for them. :)
I'm trying to stay in faith that that will be possible. One possible thing I was thinking was maybe I could get hired to be a teacher somewhere finally and I could buy this house, or have it in my name and make the payments on it. Or maybe Josh's parents could help us to be able to stay here. That would be cool. :)
We have a back up plan though. There is an apartment in Belton in a perfect location we are thinking of moving to, and a couple nice rent houses up there that could work.
This line of my fav song brings me comfort in this time, "Even when I don't see it you're working. Even when I don't feel it you're working."
Maybe God just had me go through this process of a house possibly foreclosing because thousands of other people go through this at some time in their life. Now I can say I know what that's like. I can add that to my list of hard times I can relate to others on.
If you have gone through that we both know what it's like now. ;)
God loves you all! Try to stay in faith that good things will happen to you, even when times seem hard. And always believe that God is working things out for your good if you love him, because he is. God bless! :)
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