Almost every time I watch a Joyce Meyer sermon I am inspired to write something. She is very good at empowering people I think, and she greatly encourages people to spend time meditating on God's word. She probably talks about that more than anything else, which is great! Praise God for her!
Sometimes I have a hard time knowing what to write about. It helps if I look up what the verse of the day is on my YouVersion Bible app on my phone, and then I get an idea. The verse for today is James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
I will now write not so much my thoughts on this verse, but a story of the trials I have had to go through in my own life, for any interested:
I have much to say about trials. I have written my story several times but I'll write it again for those who haven't read my writing much yet. When I was 6 I was molested by my dad. He was then in jail for a time, which was very hard on me and my brother and my mom I'm sure. Even though he did wrong I still loved him very much. I missed him when he was gone. That was a very hard time in my life and I cried in school a lot. That was 4th grade for me and we were living in Upland, California at the time. Luckily I had a very caring teaching, Mr. Hernandez, that would hold me when I cried. Not in an odd way; he was just a very, very nice person. Perhaps that is one reason why I've always wanted to teach, because he helped me greatly in that seriously painful time in my life.
Then when I was 10 my parents divorced. It was partly because of what happened but also for other reasons. My dad started drinking more etc. But I missed him a lot. He was very sad and depressed about not getting to see us much and that made me sad.
Then my dad married my step mom. She might as well have been an army drill sergeant, with how she was regarding cleanliness. I owe to her my ability now to be a clean person, but it was hard training that's for sure. She was very legalistic about things, like where we put our shoes etc. I never felt like she loved me and she was very hard on me. It was very clear to us that she didn't want kids so we felt quite unwanted by her.
Then when I was 14 my mom moved me back to California. This was kind of hard. We watched the movie recently called "Inside Out." That was kind of how I felt about the move at first. I missed all my old friends. I didn't want to be in California. I was mad that I had to move out there. I didn't seem to fit in with the popular and cool California kids. My clothes were Nebraska clothes etc lol. I just was more of a Nebraska person than I was a California person, even though I had only been in Nebraska for about 5 years and 0 to 9 I was in California.
Also, my dad broke down crying when we pulled away after I told him we were moving to California. That was probably the hardest thing I have ever seen in my life. He was totally heart broken. However, one reason we were moving was because neither my mom nor I really trusted that he would never try something again with me. It's a good thing we did move too because he has since then molested other children. Some people never change. So it's good I got that distance from him for sure.
High school was the happiest time in my life though. I made a lot of friends. I was very successful in my classes and was on the principle's honor roll every year etc. I was in choir, MUN, ASB etc. I absolutely loved high school. I had an amazing youth pastor and youth group. I absolutely loved life in high school.
Then I went to Biola University for college. This was actually the hardest time in my life. I was generally unhappy the whole time I was at Biola. I'm not entirely sure why. It could have been all the pressure I felt to perform well in my classes. I also didn't feel that I fit in with the kids because of my past and my family. They all seemed to have come from perfect families and they all seemed to be very rich. I grew up not rich at all, so it seemed hard for me to fit in. I still regret going there actually, because I think I would have been much happier at a community college. But oh well. Maybe I would be a totally different person if I hadn't gone there. Maybe I wouldn't care about God as much and sharing the gospel and writing this blog etc. Who knows.
Then I dated a bit. That was not fun at all. Dating sucks lol. For any singles out there, I feel your pain. I am SO glad I'm not in that stage in life anymore. Wondering if someone else loves you or not and if you're wasting your time with someone etc. It's quite painful and hard really. I fell in love with about 12 different guys over the course of 14 years before my husband, but most of them didn't love me back, which was sad. Either they weren't able to love or we just weren't a good fit, who knows. All I know is life certainly gets much happier when you finally find "the one" and settle down. Much, much happier. Praise God for my awesome husband! Amen.
Also one guy I dated, I got engaged to but then he died about two years later. He was on about 5 different medications and went out drinking one night and that's all it took. His body just couldn't handle that many meds with the alcohol. That's one reason why I'm very anti medication now, any kind of medications, but that's another subject.
Other than those things though I have been very blessed. I got to work on a cruise ship with kids for awhile on Mexico and Alaska cruises. I have two beautiful and sweet daughters. My mom and step dad are great and my husband is the sweetest guy in the world! :) So praise God for his blessings, but the hard times were definitely hard.
And lastly here is my application of my life to the verse: I suppose all the trials were God testing my faith. Like with Job, God allowed me to be tested and tried by Satan to test my faith. For what purpose? For perseverance. I am a much stronger person today now because of all I have gone through, I know that. And my faith is much stronger. I know that if I could overcome all that, I can overcome ANYTHING! woohoo! lol Also, I can now empathize with a greater number of people and their pain because of what I have gone through. I care more about helping other people because I know what it's like to be in the fires of life. I've been there. I've grieved a very, very hard death. I've had an evil and somewhat crazy parent. I had a hard childhood etc.
I know God will use my pain and my hard times to help me minister to others and to be a blessing and a witness for Him and His kingdom. And there is no greater thing than that. Amen. :) God allows us to go through things so that we can then comfort others. As 2 Cor. 1:4 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." Amen!
So may God give you this perspective on your own painful times in your past. May you find someone to help, rather than possibly being bitter for why God allowed whatever happened to you to happen. Try to figure out why he let it happen, and go be a blessing to other people today! Don't focus on your own pain; focus on what you can do to help someone else with their pain. And that will then help you to forget your own pain. Amen. May God bless you all! :)
.....And here's a great song for you to listen to, dear reader. :) This guy was actually the worship leader in my amazing high school youth group. Pretty awesome huh. For sure! You're awesome Tim Timmons! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBIZ-hshln8
God bless!
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