12 Steps

12 STEPS with BIBLICAL BACKUP...   So I'm going to a Celebrate Recovery at my new church.  Mainly because of what happened with my dad when I was younger but also to recover from the recent death of a loved one.    I thought I would go through the steps on my blog here.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18 NIV)   I, it would seem, am powerless over my anger.  For whatever reason I get angry quite easily.  I think it is anger about what my dad did that I still have not fully processed.  I know I have anger at men in general as a result of my abuse.  This comes out on most guys I meet sadly enough.  So I do admit I am powerless over my ability to control my anger.  I cannot just not get angry.  My compulsive behavior would be incessant worrying and paranoia that whoever I'm with will end up liking someone else.    Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. (Philippians 2:13 NIV)   I know God is able to help me with my anger.    Step 3: We took a decision to turn our life and will over to the care of God. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1 NIV)   I did that when I was 14 and do every day.    Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. (Lamentations 3:40 NIV)   When I am honest with myself I know my anger is a problem and that it very much affects those closest to me.    Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16 NIV)   I have admitted to my group that I struggle with getting angry easily and now I am on here to whoever you are reading this.    Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. (James 4:10 NIV)   Gladly. lol :)   Step 7: We humbly ask Him to remove all our shortcomings. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NIV)   God will you help me overcome this anger problem I have.  Will you help me to have more peace, to trust you and those I love, and to not worry so much?  Thank you. :)   Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31 NIV)   Oh this would be a very long list if I was honest.  The very first person I probably offended was my mom in getting angry about her divorcing my dad, but now I see obviously why she needed to.  I got angry at my brother several times.  I broke a lot of hearts of guys that I dated but I won't list all the names.  There were probably about 10 or so though that I very much regret hurting.  I know in any job I quit I hurt the boss if I didn't give two weeks notice.  I know I hurt my dad by not talking to him, even though he somewhat deserved it.  I know I've hurt my step dad over the years in not being more friendly to him.  I know I recently hurt my grandma when I scared her one night and left without saying where I was going.  I know I've scared my best friend a few times with my anger.  Sorry Ash. :(  I know I hurt a guy I loved deeply many, many times and I hope God can tell him in heaven how sorry I am.  I know I hurt the guy I am with now all the time, and I am sorry about that too.  I know I have been rude to family members of those I loved and I'm sorry about that also.    Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24 NIV)   This step would be somewhat impossible since I don't have a way to get in touch with all these people.  But I should write my grandma a letter. :)  I have said sorry to my mom and step dad.  I don't know if I ever have to my brother, possibly.    Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12 NIV)   I'm getting better about this. :)   Step 11: We sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. (Colossians 3:16 NIV)   I have been reading my Bible more lately and praying more, praise God. :)   Step 12: Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we pledged to carry this message to others, and practice these principles in all our affairs. Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1 NIV)   Hence me writing this.  I also gave my testimony last night at Celebrate Recovery which was very good.  And yes in general I need to remember to be more humble and point the finger at myself before I do at others.  I need to remove the plank from my own eye first for sure. :)