Self-Confidence Boosting

My main goal with my purses and bracelets is that I want to help people feel better about themselves and have more self esteem and more self confidence, because I think that is what is missing most in our culture. Depression is now an epidemic and low self esteem is probably worse than it's ever been. So many times in my life with various friends I have stressed the importance of positive self talk. We should never say to ourselves "I'm dumb" etc. You are a wonderful creation of Christ! You are never dumb. So I hope these purses and bracelets will help with things like that. Maybe every time a person reads "forgiven" or "God's angel" their confidence will be boosted just a little bit more. God calls us to be BOLD witnesses for Christ, but how can we be bold witnesses if we don't have any confidence? We have Christ, God, living inside us as Christians! Most of us don't stop to think about how amazing that really is and what that says about us now and what we are capable of! A favorite verse of mine has always been Romans 8:11, "If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you." God's Spirit is in us! Praise Jesus! And any power that can raise someone from the dead is a very amazing power indeed! If you really think about it. :)

One summer I was on a leadership team with my college choir and we were planning the camp that we would have that year. We were trying to come up with a theme and I said, "How about super heroes? Because with the Holy Spirit living inside of us we are all like super heroes." And that really IS how we should all see ourselves. We are ALL Superman or Spiderman etc. as Christians. We all have super human powers essentially. We can all pray for the sick to be healed or cast our demons. Not that I have helped to heal anyone in prayer, but I know it's possible. I do think I inadvertently cast out a demon once, but I wrote about that before in my blog. :)

So overall people, and Christians especially, need to have more self-confidence. Because with just a bit of confidence, the sky is the limit! If you believe in yourself, and believe in Christ in you, you can do anything.! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Amen? Amen. Like Neo jumping across roof tops in the Matrix, we need to believe in ourselves , and Christ in us, THAT much. That is what faith is. It's believing we really can do anything with God's power. If God wanted us to jump across rooftops he could help us do that. Most likely there would need to be a reason like running from something. But the point is, with God we really can do anything. We just have to believe. Amen.

(Also making the purses and bracelets and clothing boosts my own self-confidence just knowing I can do things like that.  So if you need a great self-confidence booster, try making bracelets or purses or clothes!  And anything you don't know how to do you can always look it up on youtube. :)

May God bless you all!

Possible Loosing Salvation Notion Causes Greater Perseverance

I admit I haven't been very consistent with my Bible reading.  I always make the excuse to myself that it hurts my neck to read too long or I've already read the whole Bible and have it all stored up in my mind so I don't need to read it much.  But those are all just excuses.  Or I make the excuse that it's too hard to read anything around my two year old, but it's not impossible.  I can do it if she's watching a show or something.

So I decided to start reading through Colossians again.  For a summer class with my college, Biola, we had to read Colossians every day for two weeks, so I am very familiar with the book, and I love it. :)

When reading just now these verses stood out to me, "But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— ²³  IF you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel." -Col. 1:22-23

Notice the "if."  There a lot of these "if's" in Paul's writing.  It made me think of the possible counter argument, "but Ephesians 1 says we are SEALED in the Holy Spirit.  So once saved, always saved."  To which I would say, yes but the parable of the seeds says some seeds spring up for a time and then die.  So the catch is, the only way to know that we are sealed and we really ARE saved, is if we continue in the faith.  So only time can tell.  If someone falls away, they were never sealed to begin with. 

So how do we know if we are sealed and saved for sure?  If we continue in the faith and don't fall out of the race.  Or if we don't get deceived or love money more than God or begin to worship other things, then we can know we are saved and sealed for sure.  James said "faith without works is dead."  Yes we are saved by faith, but the way that we prove or show that we are saved is by what we do. 

Here are some good questions to ask yourself: Do I have an ongoing desire to save the lost?  Then you can know you are saved.  Do I have an ongoing desire to grow closer to God and learn more about Him?  Then you can know you are saved.  Do I really love others and seek to help them?  Then you can know you are saved if you do.

What I think is the most dangerous notion in the church is the once saved, always saved concept.  Yes it is good to feel secure in our salvation, but the question we should all ask ourselves is, am I totally positive that I am saved?  Many think they are saved but are not.  Like Jesus said, "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness." 

If you think about it, that's some pretty intense things that they did.  They drove out demons.  How many Christians today can say they have ever driven out a demon?  And yet even these supposed super Christians won't actually be saved?  How can that be?  Well the fact is that that will be the case in the end. 

So it is possible to do something as intense and extreme as cast out demons and not be saved.  So that means it is just as easy for anyone who serves God in any way to think they are saved but for it to turn out that they are not.

In the Left Behind movie a pastor even gets left behind, which I always thought was interesting. 

At a summer church camp I went to, the pastor giving a sermon said the most dangerous place to be in is to think we are saved when we really are not.  Paul said "Test yourself to see if you are in the faith."  And "If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" 

The key is to acknowledge that it is possible for anyone to fall, even yourself.  Anyone can mess up.  Anyone can fall away from God.  To think that it is impossible for yourself actually only opens yourself up more for attack.  "Pride comes before a fall."  When we think we are immune from falling or it is totally impossible for us, it is usually then when we most likely will fall.  Think of the case of Peter denying Jesus.  He was arrogant about it.  He told Jesus "Even if everyone else denies you I NEVER will."  And about 12 hours later he denied knowing Jesus THREE times.  Don't ever be so sure of yourself.  Don't be so arrogant.  "Pride comes before a fall."

Satan attacks most when we are overly confident and think we won't fall, because he knows then that we are less cautious.  When we think it is impossible to fall, that is probably when we will fall.

  So be careful about ever getting overly confident, because then you will not see the need as much to remain in the vine, in Jesus.  You will begin to lean on your own understanding rather than on God.  And Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do NOTHING."  Amen.

Be careful of thinking that falling way from the faith is completely impossible for you.  Paul said, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."  And "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  If you keep a fear that you might fall away from God, you will actually be less likely to fall away.  If you think that it is impossible for you, you might be more likely to fall away.  "Pride comes before a fall." 

Always stay humble.  :)  Always realize you could fall, and then you will be less likely to do so. 

May God bless you all!

How to Make Jesus Purses

If you are visiting my blog because you got one of the purses I made then Hello!  and welcome to my blog!  I have tons of writing on here on almost every Christian topic imaginable (lol) that I've written on over the last 4 years.  I also have lots of self -published books on Amazon.com that you can find by searching "Lisa Bedrick books" on there.  But everything in those books is here on my blog; it's just a matter of finding it. :)  Or you can read most of each of my books for free on Amazon with the "look inside" feature.  There are about 15 mini 70 page books on various topics that I published a couple years ago. 

And about my purses that I started making about a month ago, I was thinking of the book and movie Charlotte's Web earlier and how that's totally me! lol Except I write my words or phrases on purses and spell them in bracelets instead of a web, but I hope they are words that will inspire and encourage people too yay!  Feel free to use some phrases that I thought of if you feel inspired to make Jesus bracelets or purses as well! 

My ultimate dream is to fill the city of Austin, TX with Jesus purses!  And maybe even to start a huge movement, like the movie "Pay it Forward," of women and girls all over the U.S. making and wearing Jesus purses!  And maybe we can turn this country around and save the U.S.A. for Jesus again!  Missions trips are great, and I have been on several, but if you think about it, no other country has some of the problems that we do here in the U.S.  We need to get this country back on the straight and narrow path that it used to be!  And I'm hoping my Jesus purses and bracelets will help with that. :)  Also I like to put a Bible tract in the purses, along with a bracelet and necklace that I make with cross charms, and candy like tootsie rolls. :)  "A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down."  The medicine being, if you aren't saved already and believe in Jesus, you need to be. :)  So you can go to heaven and so you can live a more virtuous and happy life, which will make things better for you and everyone around you.  Amen.

The Jesus purses would be a great craft for mothers and daughters to do together as well!  It would be a great and fun bonding experience, no matter how old your daughters are!  And it's always fun to express your inner artist.  Everyone has an inner artist I think. :)  And anyone can make these purses! 

And lastly, the best thing about the purses is that anyone who wears them would be a great and bold witness for Christ everywhere they go!  Praise God!  The best and most bold phrase to put on them I think is "Jesus is Lord."  If nothing else, they will make people think. 

I heard once that everyone who gets saved is like it takes several turns in a light bulb, and I loved that analogy.  One event or word or thing may not save them, or make them want to follow God, but several things might.  All we can do is plant seeds.  These purses could be one seed that leads to people getting saved.  The purses could also spark some great and life changing conversations about God in check out lines or anywhere people go, which would be great! 

Here are some pics of my artwork so far.

If any of you are interested in making Jesus purses too here's how I make them: I use hemming glue tape or double sided tape on the purse straps and the base to fold the material around the purse lining. 

First cut the outside cute material out into a rectangle.  Then cut a lining material out about an inch shorter on all sides.  Fold the fabric around the lining material and secure it with glue or tape or hemming glue tape.

 For the inside lining good materials are a black out curtain, a bed skirt, canvas or vinyl material.

For the straps double fold the fabric over itself so that there is a crease that can't fray.  And secure it with double sided tape or hemming glue tape.  It's hard to explain without showing it but I'll make a video soon.

Then I use a glue gun to glue the two sides together and attach the straps. And the purse is completely secure and durable.  It may not be washable, depending on if you use hemming tape or double sided tape, but it's strong enough to hold many things! 

For painting the phrases on, get a plastic letter stencil and cut out each individual letter. Then lay out the phrase before you paint it.  It's hard to not get paint on the purse outside of the letters.  The trick is to wipe your fingers off a lot if you get paint on them. 

Here are the best and most encouraging phrases for my purses that I thought of, inspired by the Bible:  :)

Overcomer

Forgiven

Loved

Saved

God's Angel

Shine For Jesus

I love Jesus

God Loves Me

God's Princess

Joyful Giver

Freedom in Jesus

God's Temple

God's Child

Salt and Light

Wonderfully Made

Healed

Redeemed

Have Faith

Stay Hopeful

Grace and Peace

Patient

God is Faithful

God bless!

My Testimony

I have written my testimony out about 10 times or so, but every time I do I see different things so that is cool.  As I grow in my recovery and go to various groups I see more of why I am the way I am and why I do the things I currently do.  And for any that were abused, go to groups and get help BEFORE you turn to alcohol or drugs to numb your pain.  Praise God I never became an alcoholic or into drugs because I have sought help from others and gone to lots of groups to help me with my pain and wounds from the past.  Get help.  And admit you need help.  Because we all do.  And we all have wounds that we need to get healing from so that we will not act out in destructive ways, either self-destructive or other destructive.   :)

I'm going to Celebrate Recovery a second time at a church by me.  I have been working on myself and my recovery really ever since I was 6 and my dad went to jail for sexually molesting me.  I have done countless hours of counseling, several support groups and now Celebrate Recovery.  There are symptoms of abuse that most don't tie to their abuse but they can be related, such as pent up anger and angry outbursts.  3 years ago I went to Celebrate Recovery because of fights and anger issues I had with my husband.  Now what made me want to go again is my anger towards my cute little two year old.  Every mother gets angry at their kids from time to time but I still feel bad when I do.  I want to be more patient with her and have a better friendship with her so I'm going to Celebrate Recovery again.  I know from lots of abuse books that I have read that abuse victims tend to have a lot of pent up anger.  For good reason, anger is a person's natural response to abuse.  But most of us can't chew out the person who abused us so that anger comes on everyone we currently are around in various ways.  It's possible some of the things I have written have been a sub-conscious way of me venting my anger, even though they were unrelated to my abuse.  I tend to have a cussing problem when text fighting with my hubby which is probably also due to the pent up anger from my abuse.

Tonight was testimony night at Celebrate Recovery, which I always love, and it made me want to write out my testimony again.  For those who don't know, every other week someone shares their testimony, which is great.  No other group at church does something like that.  The honesty and openness is CR is for sure rare and awesome to see.  Praise God for Celebrate Recovery!  If you're interested, just google Celebrate Recovery and your city and you will be able to find a church that has it, most likely. 

How people always start out is, "Hi my name is Lisa and I struggle with: firstly perfectionism..." like I always feel I have to have the cleanest house on the face of the planet, anger, due to my abuse, anxiety, probably also due to that, and feelings of insecurity and being less than others, grief from my fiancé dying three years ago due to drinking too much, spending issues and greed.  I've always had a hard time buying things I don't need and using stuff like alcoholics use alcohol to make me feel better if I'm sad about something.  I should turn to God, but instead I often turn to shopping for something to feel better.

My goal in CR is to not speak in anger toward my daughter and to have self control with my words when I'm feeling stressed out. 

And my testimony is that I am the youngest child.  I have an older brother 4 years older than me.  I actually was jealous of my older brother most of my childhood life.  He had trouble in school and so got all the attention I felt, and I was like the forgotten child.  I got straight A's and so no one worried about me much, even though what happened with my dad happened. 

I was raised in church.  I wasn't officially saved till 14 though, and then I was because of my grandmother's influence in my life.  She was an outstanding Christian woman and I wanted to be like her and follow in her footsteps as much as I possibly could.  She was pretty much like Mother Theresa.  In my eyes she was anyways. :)  She took things to orphanages in Mexico and took bread to homeless people.  She was literally a witness to almost every single person she came in contact with almost her whole life.  I can't imagine how many people will be in heaven because of her.  A lot I'm sure. :)  So I really, really looked up to her a lot.

I felt neglected a lot as a child and very invisible.  I realized recently that I only remember one conversation with my mom before I was 14.  She was pretty much always at church or shut up in her room.  I just never ever remember interacting with her.  Of course she had good reason to be so reclusive given what my dad did, but it felt like I grew up without a mom most of my childhood life.  So since I didn't seem to have any attention from my mom I sought it at school.  I was a straight A student and I wanted my teachers to notice me and give me the positive affirmation all kids need.  I tried every sport that I could.  I appeared to be the good church girl and do all the right things.  But then in Junior high I rebelled and went the other way.  I got into trouble in any way I could like smoking, drinking, shoplifting, vandalizing property etc.  As most kids who don't get positive attention then seek to get negative attention.  It was all just a cry for someone to notice me.  Luckily when we moved by my grandma at 14 she noticed me and I didn't need to seek out negative attention anymore from police, teachers etc.  lol  So to any of you dealing with a hard kid, just sit down and talk to them.  Notice them.  Compliment them.  And I guarantee their behavior will improve.  Don't wait for them to be better before you befriend them, befriend them first.  Amen. 

Another thing that messed me up really was I had 8 big moves in my life so I lost a lot of friends at each move.  I have felt disconnected a lot and have been the new person in a new city many, many times, which has always been hard.  There is Facebook but that isn't the same as actually hanging out with friends.  But a good thing about moving so much is that I have met tons of people in tons of different cities, so that has been cool too. :)

And lastly the greatest and best coping skill that has gotten me though all of that was writing.  Which is why I still write so much today.  I started journaling when I was about 9 I think, because I always had to keep a journal in my English classes.  I still have a box of my tons of journals from age 9 through my 20's.  It's always helped me a lot to write things out.  So if you struggle with anything from your past or present, try writing about it.  Start a blog. :)  It will proabably help you a lot too.  Thanks for reading and hopefully this helped some of you out there. 

May God bless you all! 












 

Marriage

The three best Christian marriage teachers, in my opinion, are Mark Gungor with his "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" videos that can be found on YouTube, Jimmy Evans with Marriage Today on TBN every day at noon and Emerson Eggerich with his "Love and Respect" book and video series. They all have great resources to enable people to have a great marriage! And the book "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas is amazing too!  And the book "The Love Dare" is awesome also!

My husband and I are going to a couple's bible study at a Calvary by us and it's great!  It is following the workbook "Building Blocks" for the "Love and Respect" book by Emerson Eggerichs.  Here are my notes from last night's class video and discussion:

-We respect our husbands or love our wives because we do it unto God regardless of how the other person is acting or if they deserve it.  And we do it because God says there is a reward coming if we do live well and treat others as He wants us to.  Amen!

-What Jesus says to us about what to do is often counter intuitive and counter cultural, meaning it goes against what our basic innate sin nature might think or feel that we should do, and it usually goes against what the world might tell us to do.

-Often times people think and believe the lie or bait from Satan of, "But God wants me to be happy" to then justify sin.  But the truth is that God actually cares more about our holiness than our happiness.  God wants us to live well, which often times will not make us happy, in the short term, but in the long term it will.  A great book on this topic is "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas.

-We have 3 basic enemies: Satan, our flesh and the world.

-Marriage takes two, and that two is you and Jesus, because apart from Him we can do nothing.  Amen.

-Real love is measured by how much we sacrifice for each other, not just by the amount of feelings we might have.

-"We can't use unholy means to achieve worthy ends."  As in for me I thought of cussing when I'm angry.  Sometimes in my text fights with my husband I cuss.  It literally is like I'm saying, "Why can't you be a better f....Christian," while I'm being a horrible example and demanding what I myself am not being at the time.

-We seem to think we can be negative or use negative means to motivate our spouse to be positive.  But that will never work.  As in we think, "I will show him or her contempt until he or she loves or respects me."  But the key is to be the first to lead or move.  Show by example what you want.  If you want love, show love.  If you want respect, first show respect.  Put the responsibility to act on yourself rather than your spouse. 

-"Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate our love for Jesus."  Amen!

-"We love or respect our spouse unto Jesus."  As an act of worship to Jesus or to show our gratitude to Jesus for what he did for us.  Amen!

-Often times in marriage either or both spouses only react defensively.  As in, when the wife feels unloved she might react disrespectfully.  Or when the husband feels disrespected, he might react in unloving ways.  The key is to love or respect regardless of if the other person deserves it, because God calls us to love unconditionally.

-It's key to energize the relationship by being loving or respectful, rather than deflating it by acting unlovingly.

-In marriage it can feel like the other is stepping on an airhose for us.  But that is why forgiveness is key.  Billy Grahm's wife said, "The best marriages are made up of two great forgivers."  Amen!








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Walk 20 Minutes a Day

I love the "Praise the Lord" show on TBN! Today Matt Crouch said Joseph Prince was asking God for something important to tell people, and God told him to tell people to walk 20 minutes a day twice a week. He was like "Common God something more important than that." Lol. But yes that prob is the most important thing that so many people need to hear. In our modern car-world no one walks much anymore, and that's why diabetes and depression are such major issues now. So if you don't want any physical or mental health problems, or at least a lot less, go for a good walk a couple times a week! No matter how hot it is outside! lol. God bless :)

My Gallbladder Removal Story

I had my gallbladder out about 4 days ago and I'm so happy I did! I don't miss it one bit! In my case it probably definitely needed to come out because when I was 10 my appendix was infected and ruptured. So poison spewed all over my vital organs. I was in the hospital recovering for two weeks after that. It was pretty rough for sure.

Then about 6 months ago I started having severe pain in my stomach, a month after my second daughter was born, Joy. I talked to a few people who had the same thing happen, gallstone issues forming and clogging ducts after their second child was born.

The pain was so bad that it literally was super hard for me to just walk around. I would lay in bed thinking I was dying. I thought I was just getting food poisoning every couple of weeks.

There would be several flare ups. I would be fine for a week or two and then severe pain would hit. It usually was after I ate beef actually. Putting an ice pack on my stomach helped a lot for the pain. But I couldn't lay on either side at all. I had to lay flat on my back. It seems odd but I actually could feel the tiny stone that was blocking my bile duct. It was right between my rib cage. I would try massaging my stomach hoping I could push it out of there.

A number of times I drank olive oil, either mixed with juice or straight up. I saw this advised on YouTube videos as a solution for gallstones. This actually solved the problem 9 out of 10 times. I would drink it and then poop a lot, mostly diarrhea, for the next 12 hours about 6 hours after drinking it. It did really fix the problem. I could tell that the stone had dislodged and I was completely better. Hooray! But then a few weeks later another flare up would happen.

A gallstone getting stuck also seemed to be triggered if I ate to the point of being too full. Usually I just eat very small amounts at a time, like a cup of yogurt or a bagel etc. But if I ate a full normal meal, I had problems.

Then this Monday I went to Applebee's with my hubby and had a steak dinner around 2pm. I felt fine for a few hours. We rode bikes around. But that night the extreme stomach pain hit me again. I realized around midnight that if I was going to feel better I had to drink oil again, which I always dreaded cuz it's just disgusting to drink oil. Then the next morning I pooped a lot, and I felt totally back to normal again. Praise God. So around 2pm Tuesday, that next day, I thought I was fine and could eat some pizza. I had two slices but took most of the meat and cheese off. I was ok for a few hours. I felt a bit nauseous, but I seemed ok.

Oh also the night before I had taken a couple doses of Z Quil to help me sleep, which I think seriously dehydrated me. Drinking the olive oil probably also dehydrated me with all the diareaha I had after that. Then in the afternoon I had another dose of Z quilt to take a nap. I will never again take zquil. After that I instantly felt the urge to throw up. I vomited several times and started to sweat a lot. I layed on the bathroom floor wanting to die. I felt myself get really really hot and realized I had never been so sweaty in my life. My husband was in the living room watching our two girls. I didn't want to scare any of them so I kept my suffering to myself, as I always tend to do. I don't like to burden anyone generally.

I crawled back to my bed and tried to lay down but then went to throw up again. Laying on the cool bathroom floor felt nice. Then I realized I needed to call an ambulance. I knew I needed to go the ER but my husband couldn't drive me because he needed to watch our two girls. My mom had just gone out of town on a road trip and there was no one else I could think of. I probably need to join an actual nearby church and make some local friends so I have someone else to call besides my mom.

So I picked up my phone and called 911 for the first time in my life. I was having a hard time breathing and remembering my address to tell the lady. I told her I might have food poisoning and I was throwing up a lot. She figured out where my apartment was and said help is on the way! Literally only 3 minutes later about 5 paramedics came rushing in my room. Praise God! I was also thinking maybe I was about to have a heart attack so I said that and they took a picture of my heart. They said my heart looked ok. A few minutes later the ambulance people came. Someone said I was looking extremely pale. My husband explained to them how I had had stomach pain for the last 6 months or so but the doctors couldn't figure out what it was. They asked if I could walk down the steps with their help. I said yes and we went out to the ambulance. I was a bit worried that all that would freak out my two year old but hopefully she is ok regarding that. :)

In the ambulance they took my temp and it was only 90. I was like "Ah does that mean I'm dying?!" They were like "No! No. Don't worry." But I was shivering a lot and my teeth were chattering. They put a blanket on me and got my IV on and got pain meds in me. That made me feel a lot better. Then at the hospital they put me in a room that was like a shared space but had a curtain for privacy. They gave me morphine but that made me feel kinda hot at first so I asked for something less strong. They gave me more fluids and some ice chips. I was in that room for about the next 5 hours, from 5pm to 10. Then they rolled me upstairs to another room. The lady nurse that rolled me told me how she had her gallbladder out after her second kid and she was so glad she did! That helped me a lot cause I still wasn't sure if I wanted to have it out yet. When I started having the stomach issues a doctor recommended I have it out but I was a bit cautious about having an actual organ taken out of me. But I seem to be doing ok and better without it so that's great!

Then I was in that room for the next 14 hours. They told me no water or even ice chips after midnight. That was very hard for me cause I am like addicted to water lol. I actually tried cheating about 3am and took a tiny sip of water but instantly felt nauseous from it. The next day at noon I had my surgery to have my gallbladder out and I was never so excited about anything in my life! lol Except marrying my sweetie of course. :) I could not wait to feel better and get that thing taken out that had caused me tons of pain over the past 6 months. The lady gave me my sedative in my IV, told me to take 5 deep breaths and think of a happy dream. I thought that was a nice way to ease into the surgery. :)

I woke up about 4 hours later. The surgery I think was only about a half hour. A nurse upon my awaking said she would try to find my mom or husband, but I was thinking no I just want to go to a room and sleep for 10 hours lol. They rolled me to my room and I started crying because my neck was in serious pain, probably the most pain it's ever been in, in my life. Someone said maybe the way they laid me put a strain on my neck. Also I was crying because I didn't want to do another procedure right in a row. The doctors had told me the night before they might do the gall bladder surgery and if there were a lot of stones then later that day do another procedure of sticking something down my throat and getting all the other gallstones out. But I was crying and said "Please I don't want to do that today too. That would just be too much." They honored my wishes on that, Thank God! :) lol

I was in that same room till about 10pm. Then they rolled me up to the top floor. That room was hot when I got in so I was pretty uncomfortable. My new nurse wasn't very attentive so that sucked. They strapped both my legs to odd bouy looking things which pissed me off cause I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. My neck was still killing me and the pain meds were wearing off. So I started crying again. lol Crying always gets people to act quicker on things which is nice. Not that I was trying to manipulate things but they needed to know how much pain I was in, mainly from my neck. That was not a time for me to try to be tough at all, like I normally try to be. They gave me more pain meds and an ice pack for my neck and that helped a lot.

Then around midnight I got a different nurse. She also didn't seem to care about me much which sucked. I said I needed to pee but wanted a bed pan cause I didn't want to get up. She literally said ok and didn't come back for about 45 minutes, so I finally got up myself to go pee. She came in when I was getting back in bed and passively said sorry.

The process of getting up to pee after surgery was the hardest part of the whole thing. I was huffing and puffing every time for the first 5 or 6 times. They cut between my lungs so it hurt to breath past half a breath. They let me have some apple juice though so that was really nice. I love apple juice!

The next day I had a very small amount of jello and more apple juice. The next day I had a bit of eggs for breakfast and more apple juice. So altogether I stayed in the hospital three nights. I would have been fine staying another night but I knew my daughters were missing me so I needed to get home. I walked out of the hospital the slowest I've ever walked in my life lol. But at least my neck finally felt better so that was nice.

I got home and showered, and it was nice to finally shower. The nurse warned me before I left about getting pneumonia. She said it was common for people to develop it after a surgery from lying around too much. Also the morning before I left at about 6am I had a fever of 100.3, which is kind of an early sign that pneumonia might happen. She said I needed to walk around as much as possible. So I did lots of laundry when I got home but then had a good nap. And being home is so nice! I love not having my sleep interrupted by strangers anymore. And being with my two sunshine girls is great!

My mom is here to help too so that is so, so nice. Thank you Mom!

And I might write more about how my recovery is going. Hope that story was interesting and maybe some of you can relate. May God bless you all!