Marriage

The three best Christian marriage teachers, in my opinion, are Mark Gungor with his "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" videos that can be found on YouTube, Jimmy Evans with Marriage Today on TBN every day at noon and Emerson Eggerich with his "Love and Respect" book and video series. They all have great resources to enable people to have a great marriage! And the book "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas is amazing too!  And the book "The Love Dare" is awesome also!

My husband and I are going to a couple's bible study at a Calvary by us and it's great!  It is following the workbook "Building Blocks" for the "Love and Respect" book by Emerson Eggerichs.  Here are my notes from last night's class video and discussion:

-We respect our husbands or love our wives because we do it unto God regardless of how the other person is acting or if they deserve it.  And we do it because God says there is a reward coming if we do live well and treat others as He wants us to.  Amen!

-What Jesus says to us about what to do is often counter intuitive and counter cultural, meaning it goes against what our basic innate sin nature might think or feel that we should do, and it usually goes against what the world might tell us to do.

-Often times people think and believe the lie or bait from Satan of, "But God wants me to be happy" to then justify sin.  But the truth is that God actually cares more about our holiness than our happiness.  God wants us to live well, which often times will not make us happy, in the short term, but in the long term it will.  A great book on this topic is "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas.

-We have 3 basic enemies: Satan, our flesh and the world.

-Marriage takes two, and that two is you and Jesus, because apart from Him we can do nothing.  Amen.

-Real love is measured by how much we sacrifice for each other, not just by the amount of feelings we might have.

-"We can't use unholy means to achieve worthy ends."  As in for me I thought of cussing when I'm angry.  Sometimes in my text fights with my husband I cuss.  It literally is like I'm saying, "Why can't you be a better f....Christian," while I'm being a horrible example and demanding what I myself am not being at the time.

-We seem to think we can be negative or use negative means to motivate our spouse to be positive.  But that will never work.  As in we think, "I will show him or her contempt until he or she loves or respects me."  But the key is to be the first to lead or move.  Show by example what you want.  If you want love, show love.  If you want respect, first show respect.  Put the responsibility to act on yourself rather than your spouse. 

-"Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate our love for Jesus."  Amen!

-"We love or respect our spouse unto Jesus."  As an act of worship to Jesus or to show our gratitude to Jesus for what he did for us.  Amen!

-Often times in marriage either or both spouses only react defensively.  As in, when the wife feels unloved she might react disrespectfully.  Or when the husband feels disrespected, he might react in unloving ways.  The key is to love or respect regardless of if the other person deserves it, because God calls us to love unconditionally.

-It's key to energize the relationship by being loving or respectful, rather than deflating it by acting unlovingly.

-In marriage it can feel like the other is stepping on an airhose for us.  But that is why forgiveness is key.  Billy Grahm's wife said, "The best marriages are made up of two great forgivers."  Amen!








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