Letter on Anger to Josh

A letter to my ex boyfriend in jail:

Hello and good morning Josh, I felt like God wanted me to send you some Bible verses on anger. :)

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil."
As you learned a lesson hard on that with now ending up jail due to an angry outburst.

"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly."
Yes please watch out for having a hasty temper.  I see where you get your anger from now because it seems like your dad is a pretty angry guy.  I can understand you inheriting that from him because my mom was so angry too and I adopted that some myself.  But try to shirk off the sins of your parents and promise yourself that you will be nothing like them, except in the things they did right, like going to church. :)  But your dad for sure has a very judgmental spirit, which I think he taught you to be the same way.  My mom taught me that as well. But it's funny, isn't it, how Christians can be some of the meanest people because we feel it's our right to judge everyone around us but it's not.  Only God should judge people.  If we are mad at someone about their sin we can pray for them, but judging and hating them is only going to hurt ourselves.  I'm sorry you were so angry at me about the one night stands I had before you.  All I can say is I was panicking then and trying to find a new husband and a new place to live.  I thought I only had two more months left in my house with the impending foreclosure.  I didn't know I had this long to stay here.  And I didn't want to live with my mom since my step dad is a child molester.  I knew I wasn't welcome in Ben's parents' house because they blame me for him going crazy, which is unjust but oh well.  Also I was just lonely and missing Ben, so that's why I was trying to find a replacement for him.  Now maybe you are getting a taste of what I was feeling then since we were together intimately for 3 months and now we can't be together physically.  I'm sure you are missing the physical side of our relationship a lot now yeah?  Well that was me 6 months ago and that's why I was trying to find someone.  I don't plan on doing that again, ever. I know I should have not rushed things with all those guys. I think another reason I did that was I was actually more comfortable just giving them sex right away then going out to dinner and having them pay for me and doing the normal slow dating process.  The reason being is that it's always been hard for me to receive anything from anyone.  I feel like I have to give a lot in order to get anything back.

Here are more good verses on anger: "The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."  Amen. We can't ever take justice into our own hands.  God will bring about justice. We are not God.  Only God is God.

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."  That is why the angry sounding music is bad because it enables you to Stay angry for long periods of time, which is bad for your health and the ability to have a sound and peaceful mind.

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." I'm very sorry I said to you that day, "If you're not happy here you can always go to live with your brother."  Bryan says that was really messed up of me to say that and that I was giving you an ultimatum.  I said "No it was just a suggestion."  But it was wrong of me to say that and I'm very sorry.  Also I'm sorry I said on our walk a few weeks ago that I was missing Bryan because he and I didn't fight like you and I did.  I think the main reason you and I were so irritable with each other though was because you couldn't seem to forgive me for my past.  Also I always resented you saying I needed to loose weight.

Maybe God is just giving you this time to really think about what you want.  Would you prefer to be with someone that is more skinny who hasn't had any previous relationships?  You can try finding her if you want.

"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."  I suppose you feel the amount of guys I had been with before was an offense to you.  I never saw it that way because I was with them Before you, not while I was with you.  But it offended you because your expectation of what a Christian woman would be was different then what I am.  But this verse says it is to your glory to overlook an offense, meaning it will make you a better person if you are able to overlook it.  It doesn't make you a better person to judge me. Think about that. ;)

I pray you have a good day.  I'll try to see you at 1 today.  I start work at Subway today though so I'll see.  But please respond about all that.  And I pray you have a great and very reflective day. :)