Money vs. Love

My husband and I just watched a really good movie. It's called The Ultimate Gift. It is a Christian made film so slightly cheesy at times, but overall very good.

The main message of the movie was that money generally corrupts people. I remember hearing a good quote, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Money is power in many ways.

I suppose I count myself fortunate then that I have never had money.

Well for about one month after a life insurance check I was rich. :)

But it certainly didn't last. And money never lasts.

Love really is the only thing that lasts. People don't last, because people may die at any time.

But love and the ability to love others lasts as long as you are alive, and that has the greatest reward and return for what you give.

They say for people who are struggling with depression that they just need to go out and help someone.

Many who retire fall into depression because they are doing nothing then to benefit society.

I have always chosen more menial jobs I guess one would say, jobs in customer service, where the pay isn't great but the satisfaction I get from working is so much more, because I love being able to help people. There is no greater calling in life than to help others.

This is why I am very much looking forward to being a mom. I am actually excited about the 24/7 aspect of it and all the serving I will get to do.

I know it will make me a better person. Because service always makes us better people.

Every job I have picked has been doing something to serve others; child care, waitressing, or simple cashier jobs. But I love those the most.

A friend's dad had a talk with me once and questioned how much self-esteem I had. He could not get why I would go for such simple jobs when, according to him, I have the intellect to be an assistant to a CEO in a company or something.

But it has never been about money for me. I always knew money can't buy you happiness.

Money almost always ends up disappointing really.

I am hardly ever satisfied with purchases I make when I do spend money. The whole buying things to bring satisfaction is an illusion. The richest people are the most miserable.

So in the end, love is all that matters. Loving others and finding people that love you. Not money. :)

Observations and Picking a Mate

My brother is visiting and it has been so nice to have him here. Out of anyone in the world he knows me the best, since he has been around me for 28 years and we walked the same path most of our lives.

He gave some feedback about myself which was probably good since he is one of the few people in the world I have always listened to. Well he is the only one my whole life that I have listened to, but the other two people that I will are my mom and best friend Ashley. They have earned the right to speak into my life also because they have been there for me coutless times. But my brother is practically the same person as me so I know he understands me the best out of anyone in the world. :) I love you Nate. :)

My brother said that I have a tendency to expect too much, from myself and others, but mainly myself, and that it drains my energy. Which I can totally see. The only question is how do I fix that? I'm not sure really.

Ben is helping somewhat with that, with me not thinking I always have to be doing something. I think that comes from living in California. The Cali mindset is you always have to be achieving something or your existence is pretty much worthless, at least it seems. Where as Ben is from Texas, which, praise God, has a completely different culture. Things are more laid back there, slower, more calm. Eventually we will be moving there, which will probably be very good for me, as it will help me to slow down I think; to not worry about always achieving so much.

Other things that my brother being here has made me think of is that I need to write a blog about my Grandma. She always said I would write her book someday, which I don't know if I could write a whole book about her life, but I can certainly devote a blog to her and share all the stories she's told me over the last 14 years. She has lived an truly amazing life.

Another thing we noted; we were analyzing the marriages of everyone in our family. I realized that the only real successful marriage in our family was between one of my uncles and his wife, my mom's brother. But every single uncle on my dad's side was divorced once, so their first marriage didn't work, and most have issues in their current marriage. Very sad, but true. But I have seen a good model in my uncle and his wife. They were my primary family that we hung out with for the last 14 years, so praise God for that. My mom's marriage is now good, but things were not good until my current step-dad sadly.

I wonder why most people botched things on their first attempt? Perhaps they were too young in their first marriage? They picked for looks rather than character? I'm not sure. But it seems the first one does not work out for most, for some reason. Luckily Ben and I have already had our first marriage experience. So we are on the second, which should be the one that lasts, like all my uncles have. Everyone deserves a second chance. :) But my uncle is the only one that did it right the first time. The other marriage that has lasted is my grandparents, but I'm not sure how happy I would say their marriage is really.

I have read statistics that the closer someone is to 30 when they get married the greater their odds are of sticking with that person and not getting divorced. Why? Because you don't really know who you are or what you are looking for until you are about 30 or close to it. So people pick someone in their early twenties only to discover later that they have drifted apart because they grew into two different people. Or they just did not think as much in their early 20's when they picked someone as they would have later in their 20's. Perhaps because the teen mindset is that we are invincible and we can do anything. We think everything will work out. This takes some time to wear off in our 20's. This can cause people to pick people that they know are a bad pick but they think they can do anything so it will work out somehow. So sad. Better to pick someone you know is right for you through and through, that has the same background, social status etc. Ben and I are a perfect match in so many ways, it's like we grew up in the same setting all along. But we are both more mature now, so we could see that and discern that.

If you are reading this and are still looking for your special someone, put a lot of thought into what you are looking for before you even date someone. Also, you cannot know who is compatible with you if you do not even really know yourself yet. So take time to know yourself. That was the problem in the movie Runaway Bride. She did not know herself yet, so did not know what she really wanted. It takes most of us years to figure ourselves out. But there are ways to speed up the process, such as by writing, journaling, meditation etc.....spending time alone with yourself.

I hope this blog has been useful and informative. May God bless you! And may he give you wisdom in your choice of who you will marry, because it will affect your entire life, so choose wisely. :)

Take care!

Poems In Honor of my Family

To Mom

Always willing to listen

Gentle, humble, fearing God

 

A great spiritual leader

A model of service to God

A dedication to church and loving God’s family

 

Studious, disciplined, a hard worker

Always providing for me

Always taking care of me

 

Strict, but in love

Watching closely my friends, apparel, influences

Helping me walk on the straighter path

 

Expecting more of me

Pushing me to excel in everything

Having high hopes for me

 

I hope I did not let you down too much, Mom

I hope you have been proud of me

I have always looked up to you

 

I admire you

For your perseverance, honesty, kindness

For how you survived through so much

How you kept pressing on

And didn’t give up

 

As a result,

“Her children rise up and bless her.”

May God bless you mom!

For all you have done for me

And for all that you have been

 

You are my hero, my rock

My guiding light in so many ways

My beacon of peace and serenity

A safe harbor that I could always return to

And find rest and solace from the storms of life

 

Thank you for your care, your concern

Your dedication to make me all that I could be

To help me grow into a pure woman of God

 

Your efforts were not wasted

God has watered what you helped grow

Though I have taken some detours

I always get back on the path you set me on

 

I thank you for all the effort you put into me

You are amazing

And I love you!

 

To My Step-Dad

I know you thought I didn’t like you

You came into a role that was very hard

But I am glad that you did

 

The man in your place before greatly broke our trust

But you have redeemed the titles

Of caring father who protects for me

And faithful spouse worthy of trust for my mom

 

I’m sorry I was not more accepting of you at the beginning

I’m sorry I was not more polite

I’m sorry I was full of doubt and suspicion

 

But you have been a huge blessing to our family

Bringing grace and new life to it

 

I have always seen you like a solid oak tree

Unwavering, patient, and resilient

 

You too never gave up

You too had to endure a lot

 

You are strong, secure and at peace

More than anyone I have ever known

 

You embody more of the fruit of the Spirit

Than I have ever seen in a person

 

You are very much like Jesus to everyone around you

You are patient, kind, loving and humble

Yet you are incredibly intelligent and gifted

 

Our family has been so much better since you came into it

You brought fun and good times

You helped us bond as a family again

 

Thank you for all the meals out

And all the mini golf

And all the ways you tried to help our family have fun

 

Thank you for your prayers

For your example

For the wonderful Christian model that you were and are

 

I can only hope to be more like you someday

To be less judgmental

And more patient and more loving, like you

 

Thank you for all that you provided for us

We are externally grateful for you

For who you are and for all you’ve done

 

Thank you David, for everything

You are awesome!

 

 

 

To My Big Brother

So many memories with you

Riding bikes, playing video games, exploring

 

You were always so funny, such a good friend

I always looked up to you, admired you

Wanted to be more like you

 

You seemed so smart and wise to me when we were kids

Like you could do anything

You were so cool

 

But a bomb was dropped into our child hood

And we got a little lost

A little broken, a little confused

About life, about family, about God

 

But may you still trust God

That He loves you

May you remember him

Even though life sucks sometimes

May you never forget where you came from

The bible studies, church, worship as a family

 

May mom’s efforts to set you on the straight path

Not have been in vain

May you seek to honor God in everything

Even if you get side tracked sometimes

 

I pray I will see you in heaven one day, big brother

I pray we can play Frisbee on the beaches of heaven together

I pray we can laugh and talk about old times in heaven

Someday

 

May God watch over you in your life

May He bless you and bring you good times

May you find what you are alive to do

And may you see meaning and purpose in your life

 

I love you more than you know

And I am truly lucky and blessed

To have as cool of a brother as you

 

You are the best!

 

To My Grandma

 

I have always greatly admired you

Have always looked up to you

For your ministry to help the less fortunate

For your time as a teacher

When you inspired youth to be better

 

You inspired me very much to be better

When I was a youth

I wanted to make you proud of me

I wanted to be different than I had been before

 

I always admired all you had to endure in life

Being raised in an orphanage

But still finding Grandpa and staying married for 60 plus years

Raising a Godly family where everyone was devoted to the Lord

Serving in church, helping the poor

 

You always had so much confidence

Such a zest for life

Such an ambitious and courageous spirit

That was quite contagious

 

You are a great encourager

A person who puts wind beneath other people’s wings

You make people believe they can do

What they never thought they could

 

You know how to build others up with your never ending charm

You are regal, elegant and very admirable

 

You make people that are around you feel better

And increase their faith in God

You challenge people to be better

To not get stuck in a pit

To not give up on life

 

You had such a hard life

Yet you never gave up

 

You just keep pushing on, striving, thriving

 

You have truly been an inspiration to our family

Our guiding light

The glue that has held us all together

The life of the party

The leader of our pack

 

You have always been strong, always dependable

And you never ask anything for yourself

Only that we would listen to you

And I was always happy to

To see the way your eyes would light up when you told a story

Or the wisdom that you wanted to impart to us

 

You are truly an amazing person

You are an inspirer

A life giver

A gushing water to those in a dessert

Bringing life and happiness to all who have known you

 

I hope one day I can be just as infectious as you have been

Just as personable and friendly to everyone I meet

Just as confident and knowledgeable

 

You seemed to know everything

About nutrition, about faith and God, about life, about people

You are by far the wisest person I have ever known

 

Thank you for all the wisdom you imparted to our family

Thank you for helping us grow strong

In the Lord, in confidence, in happiness

Thank you for all the times you supported me

And came to my school choir concerts etc.

 

You have always been there for me

Cheering me on

Encouraging me, believing in me

 

Thank you

You have always been wonderful

 

To My Grandpa

 

Thank you for trying to be a father figure to me

When I didn’t have one

And for taking me bowling so many times

 

Thank you for all your wisdom and concern

For asking me questions about my life

And showing interest

 

Thank you for being such a great spiritual leader for our family

Thank you for saying on holidays,

“Let’s all share what the Lord has been teaching us.”

And for calling us together for family prayer circle times so often

 

Thank you for challenging us all in our faith

And helping us strive to be better

In every aspect of life

 

Thank you for being so strong

For never being a burden or showing it if you felt weak

You always seemed to be without problems

And not have a care in the world

 

You were so gentle, so caring, so compassionate

You were the best grandpa a girl could ask for

I always felt protected by you, and safe because of you

 

Thank you for all the home repairs you did for my mom and I

And all the ways you took care of us

 

Thank you for raising my mom

And taking care of Grandma all these years

 

You have been the spiritual rock of our family

And we are all indebted to you so much

For increasing our faith and challenging us

 

Thank you for being such a great leader

I love you :)