Narcissism

watch this....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD9x3OwqKes

Check out the book The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement

I come from a highly narcissistic culture. I grew up in Southern California, which is the capital of narcissism in the states I believe. Californians, in general, are the most prideful people in the U.S. Why? Because they are generally the most wealthy. They are generally very attractive people, because they have the money to make themselves attractive. They never have to endure bad weather, for the most part. They have hundreds of places to go and things to do to entertain them right at their fingertips. They have the beautiful scenery of the ocean and mountains right there. They have it all, or so they think.

Also many kids are growing up more narcissistic than ever these days. One in four college students are narcissistic now.

What causes this? The wealth of our nation primarily. Children are growing up overly spoiled. When I was a kid I had I think two toys :), now kids have somewhere around 100 toys! :(

Narcissism is thinking you are better than you are; it is an inflated sense of self.

The difference between self-esteem and narcissism is that those with self-esteem care about others as well. The narcissists mainly only cares about themselves.

People with narcissism are ambitious but they alienate other people. They don't have a realistic view of what is best for them and they take too many risks.

They can be very defensive when someone questions them. They are very sensitive to criticism or any kind of correction.

They believe they are always right and the other person is always wrong.

What causes it? We are born with some tendencies towards this but also parenting and culture affect this greatly.

Someone with entitlement issues or narcissism expects things to just be handed to them. This is obviously more probable when one grows up in an affluent culture or home. This is why poverty can hurt children but ALSO affluence can hurt children as well. Why? Because they become very prideful. They think everything is about themselves and the world will always meet all their needs just because they exist. They are not used to having to work hard for anything. Why would they when they get a brand new car on their 16th birthday? And everything else they want their whole lives.

In watching this video I was starting to think maybe I struggle with narcissism. Which I think I have at times but I certainly did not grow up rich. I had to make my $200 car payment to buy my first car every month for 6 years. My first laptop was given to me but that was about it. I grew up with a single mom and we did not have very much but we had what we needed. Praise God I didn't grow up rich, even though I always kind of wished I had. God was sparing me from the dangers of narcissism.

The internet/Facebook can increase narcissism in our culture because we assume that everyone cares about our lives, when they may not at all. We post pictures and update our statuses to always say "look at me," "look at all the fun stuff I am doing." I must admit I have fallen into this trap in the past and may God forgive me. :)

The amount of friends that someone can get on Facebook can puff them up as well. It creates a false sense of popularity. Friends online are not really friends. They are virtual friends. Virtual friends rarely will challenge you or make you become a better person. We can show people the face we want them to see online, thus adding to narcissism. We can make them think we are better than we really are.

A lot of times blogging can make someone more narcissistic because the thought going through their head may be, "Of course this is important because it's about ME!" That is why I blog about spiritual matters and rarely about my own life, because I do feel that would be prideful to assume people care about what is happening in my tiny niche of the world. I write to encourage others, not to draw attention to myself. At least I try not to. :)

Narcissists had parents that built them up too much. To tell a kid they are special can make them become narcissistic. The kid then starts to think that they deserve special treatment. My grandma actually always did tell me I was special, which I was glad about until hearing this take on it lol. But she would also always say, "You're my favorite grand-daughter." Which I always knew wasn't good for me to hear. It is never good to favor or to be favored. We must treat everyone the same and think of ourselves as relatively the same as everyone else.

That is how the criminal mindset begins; to begin to think "I am better than others". "I am different." "I am above the law and everyone else." "I will never be caught." Criminals are highly narcissistic.

Narcissism can affect relationships greatly because if someone grows up with things being all about them it makes it hard to compromise in marriage. If someone is unwilling to compromise they won't stay married for very long. Marriage is all about caring for someone as much as you care about yourself. This is very hard for a narcissistic person to do.

Narcissism results in over confidence, obviously. But in the end reality always wins.

Narcissism may have caused our current economic recession because people wanted more and more and spent on credit and as a result our economy is crashing.

On the topic of kids, most do not need to have their self-esteem boosted. They already have it. It is very uncommon for children to struggle with depression and low self-esteem. That is usually just adults. After we have had the crap kicked out of us by life. lol. But kids are inherently very confident already. They are born with original sin right? And the root of all sin is pride. So children have more than enough pride on their own without parents adding to it. On the contrary, what does the Bible say? "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Children need discipline, and that will help them grow in self-respect, as they learn to become model citizens.

Deep down inside narcissists think that they are awesome; that they are God's gift to this world. What would the world do if they didn't exist? They are very attention seeking. They like people to notice them at all times.

The best antidotes to narcissism are obviously humility and gratitude. They need to learn to be grateful for what they already have instead of being a never ending consumer. They need to think of themselves with a sober mind.

Faith in God can help. If one follows the idea of "do unto others as you would have them to do to you," that will help.

However, some churches, the ones into the prosperity gospel, say that God wants us to be rich and to bless us. And yes He does, but He doesn't always bless us. Thinking this way about God can lead to narcissism as well. Thinking of God as a cosmic genie who is ready to pour out an abundance on me at all times is very, very narcissistic.

Being in community can help narcissism. In that it places checks on people and helps them care about others. Being in isolation is the worst thing a narcissist can do. They need to get out and do things for other people in order to get over themselves.

This self quiz can help you determine if you have some narcissistic tendencies lol I think you will be able to tell which statements are the more narcissistic ones and which ones are not....

1. A. I have a natural talent for influencing people.
B. I am not good at influencing people.

2. A. Modesty doesn't become me.
B. I am essentially a modest person.

3. A. I would do almost anything on a dare.
B. I tend to be a fairly cautious person.

4. A. When people compliment me I sometimes get embarrassed.
B. I know that I am good because everybody keeps telling me so.

5. A. The thought of ruling the world frightens the hell out of me.
B. If I ruled the world it would be a better place.

6. A. I can usually talk my way out of anything.
B. I try to accept the consequences of my behavior.

7. A. I prefer to blend in with the crowd.
B. I like to be the center of attention.

8. A. I will be a success.
B. I am not too concerned about success.

9. A. I am no better or worse than most people.
B. I think I am a special person.

10. A. I am not sure if I would make a good leader.
B. I see myself as a good leader.

11. A. I am assertive.
B. I wish I were more assertive.

12. A. I like to have authority over other people.
B. I don't mind following orders.

13. A. I find it easy to manipulate people.
B. I don't like it when I find myself manipulating people.

14. A. I insist upon getting the respect that is due me.
B. I usually get the respect that I deserve.

15. A. I don't particularly like to show off my body.
B. I like to show off my body.

16. A. I can read people like a book.
B. People are sometimes hard to understand.

17. A. If I feel competent I am willing to take responsibility for making decisions.
B. I like to take responsibility for making decisions.

18. A. I just want to be reasonably happy.
B. I want to amount to something in the eyes of the world.

19. A. My body is nothing special.
B. I like to look at my body.

20. A. I try not to be a show off.
B. I will usually show off if I get the chance.

21. A. I always know what I am doing.
B. Sometimes I am not sure of what I am doing.

22. A. I sometimes depend on people to get things done.
B. I rarely depend on anyone else to get things done.

23. A. Sometimes I tell good stories.
B. Everybody likes to hear my stories.

24. A. I expect a great deal from other people.
B. I like to do things for other people.

25. A. I will never be satisfied until I get all that I deserve.
B. I take my satisfactions as they come.

26. A. Compliments embarrass me.
B. I like to be complimented.

27. A. I have a strong will to power.
B. Power for its own sake doesn't interest me.

28. A. I don't care about new fads and fashions.
B. I like to start new fads and fashions.

29. A. I like to look at myself in the mirror.
B. I am not particularly interested in looking at myself in the mirror.

30. A. I really like to be the center of attention.
B. It makes me uncomfortable to be the center of attention.

31. A. I can live my life in any way I want to.
B. People can't always live their lives in terms of what they want.

32. A. Being an authority doesn't mean that much to me.
B. People always seem to recognize my authority.

33. A. I would prefer to be a leader.
B. It makes little difference to me whether I am a leader or not.

34. A. I am going to be a great person.
B. I hope I am going to be successful.

35. A. People sometimes believe what I tell them.
B. I can make anybody believe anything I want them to.

36. A. I am a born leader.
B. Leadership is a quality that takes a long time to develop.

37. A. I wish somebody would someday write my biography.
B. I don't like people to pry into my life for any reason.

38. A. I get upset when people don't notice how I look when I go out in public.
B. I don't mind blending into the crowd when I go out in public.

39. A. I am more capable than other people.
B. There is a lot that I can learn from other people.

40. A. I am much like everybody else.
B. I am an extraordinary person.