Alcohol

 I have had a love hate relationship with alcohol my whole life.  When I was 13 I got super drunk with some friends for my birthday.  My older brother's friend unfortunately had tons of alcohol that he gave to me and my friends.  I got to so drunk that I threw up all over my blanket when I got home.  I vowed to myself that night to never drink that much again. I always was glad that I learned my lesson on that young.  I pretty much stayed away from alcohol completely for the next 9 years.  After college I went to dance clubs with friends and I would have one drink but that was always it.  

Then when I was 25 my first true love was an alcoholic.  I drank with him a few times but mostly he drank by himself after I would go to sleep.  I could never understand why getting drunk appealed to him so much.  I have never enjoyed drinking much.  I hate throwing up after drinking too much so I usually stop at one drink.  He would drink about 10 to 12 beers at a time.  One night we had a big fight when he came home super drunk.  I almost left him the next day to move 5 states away with my mom.  But then I couldn't leave him.  I felt like it would have been like chopping my arm off.  So I stayed, and he promised to not drink anymore.  He held to that promise, until a year later, the night he died and he went out drinking with a co-worker.  

After that I had a big fear of alcohol and how powerful it could be.  

I found some comfort in alcohol after my ex husband left me 1.5 years ago.  It does help to numb pain at times.  

Then recently I found a bar that I enjoyed going to so I have had fun going there a few times a week and getting like 2 or 3 beers each time.  One night I had 5.  I realized that my drinking has increased since I started working at my pizza store.  It can get stressful working there so drinking more now makes sense.  

Now I am back to stopping at one drink.  The hangover the next day is never worth the extra fun you might get to have the night before.  

If you struggle with drinking I hope you can find other ways to relax and other ways to forget your pain. Often times we run away from our pain, but we need to turn around and look at it dead in the face and deal with it.  Stop running away from your past.  Deal with it. Face it.  Grieve over it completely so that you can move on.  

I am now trying to quit smoking and I believe I can do it. :)  I just keep saying to myself, "If I think it's easy, it will be." 

Pray for me.  Thanks all!  May God bless you!