On Parenting

I have often wanted to teach a parenting class, but having never been a 24 hour parent I thought I probably wouldn't seem qualified. 

I have been a part time mom though for 14 years.  I feel as though I have already raised hundreds of kids.

The main thing that always bothered me in working with kids was seeing how my co-teachers treated the kids.

Any time you loose your temper in front of a kid it has the opposite effect of what you are hoping.  You are hoping to control them, but it will only make them more out of control.  They loose respect for you greatly when you loose your temper, and your chances of making them listen drop from like 80% to 10% when you yell at them or mistreat them in any way.  As a general rule, if you respect a kid, that kid will respect you, just as it works with adults.  If you show another adult respect, they will show you respect.  You have to give respect to get respect.  You can't just command it from another person.  If you don't respect another person, they most likely will not respect you.  "Respect is not given, it is earned."  We earn respect from others by showing them respect.  Kids are no different.  They are just little people.  They have all the same feelings that we do.  They are not as capable as adults in various ways, but they're not aliens of course.  They are little people and deserve respect just as much as adults do. :)   

Somehow in all those years and different jobs with kids I never lost my temper with any of them.  Oh wait there was one time.  I was a nanny in Hawaii for my cousins and I yelled "shut up" in the car because they were complaining that I had gotten us lost trying to find the pool.  I was only 19 at the time though so I was not as mature. :)  My little cousin literally said, "Ah you're wasting our time."  I was thinking, "time?  Where do you have to be my princess?" lol  Ah kids, sometimes they can really get under your skin for sure. 

I suppose that is the main advice I would want to give parents, is respect your kids.  It is no wonder a kid doesn't respect their parent if their parent mistreats them or does not show love.  It makes perfect sense. 

If kids believe an adult genuinely cares about them, they will behave well for that adult.  There is no reason to rebel against an authority that loves you with all their heart.  That would go against what is in our best interest.  We might want to rebel against an authority that just seems to want to hurt us though, or does not seem to care about us at all.

The two things that cause misbehavior in children, when parents are disrespectful or neglectful.  You have to show interest and be involved with them but in a positive way.  If you do those two things you will almost never have to correct bad behavior.  If you ignore them, they will act up.  If you treat them badly, they will act up.  Preventative parenting is the most effective; where you show the kid plenty of positive attention so they never have to act up to get negative attention.  If a child is not getting enough positive attention that is when they will seek negative attention.  And they will do whatever they have to to get it. 

This is what creates the criminal mindset.  I have always been interested in criminal psychology, what leads people to commit crimes.  What it comes down to is they simply want attention.  In most cases they did not get enough attention as a child.  They were neglected or mistreated in some way.  They then seek attention from society, granted it is negative attention, but at least it is attention.  They want to feel significant.  They don't know how to become significant in a positive, constructive way so they choose a destructive way. 

Kids can be little criminals as well. lol  Children are born with original sin.  They may be cute on the outside, but on the inside their heart sinful.  Kids are the most selfish when they are born and gradually become less selfish as they are trained by their parents.  I know this from working with kids a lot, you have never seen complete and total anger until you see a baby crying.  They do not have the ability to think about anyone but themselves.  If you are not meeting their needs in any way, they get incredibly angry at you.  It is all about them.  This is the sin nature that we are born with.  Over time the baby learns that other people's needs matter too.  But it takes time and maturity. :) 

Another aspect to criminal psychology is they also think it is all about them.  They never fully matured.  They are stuck in a child like mindset where the world revolves around them.  Often they think of themselves as a super human.  They think they are above the law.  They are unable to have remorse for anything they do wrong, for if they did, they wouldn't do the wrong.  They think they are untouchable, that they can get away with anything.  They do not fear authority.  They do not fear anyone.  That is what makes someone become a criminal and break the law in any way. 

It is a parents job to somewhat put the fear of God into a child.  If they do not learn to fear authority when they are young, they are set on a very bad course for life.  Due to child abuse lawsuits left and right people are somewhat afraid to discipline their kids.  That is why we are growing up in a society full of spoiled kids.  "Spare the rod, spoil the child."  It is very vital that your kids fear and respect you.  If not, they will think they can get away with anything.  Not good. :(

In 7 days I will be a mommy, approximately, she might be late. :)  But I hope I will do a good job of respecting her and meeting all her needs.  I have somewhat of an idea of how to be a great parent so hopefully when I'm required 24/7 to live that out I will. :) 

May God be with me and give me wisdom.  Amen. :)
 
God bless!