Paul says in 1 Cor. 4:21, "What do you want? Shall I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?"
The Corinthians were in trouble for a lot of things from Paul. They were divided. They were in sin. They were proud and puffed up etc.
Sometimes we need to exhibit tough love. Sometimes when people won't listen to reason we need to use tough love. We have to hurt them in order to help them at times.
A proverb says, "One rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a thousand blows to a fool."
For some, all it takes is one rebuke. They are quick learners. They are open to instruction. For others, they need to suffer a thousands blows before they will learn anything.
Christians always seem to have this concept that we need to be nice little Christians. Where does this concept come from? Not the life of Jesus, or Paul, or Peter.
Was Jesus nice?
No.
What did he call the Pharisees? A "brood of vipers."" Children of Satan." He didn't really beat around the bush with them. He didn't pretend that he liked them when he really didn't. He was not fake in any way. If Jesus didn't like someone, he told them, flat out. He was blatantly honest with everyone around him. Yet he never sinned. Interesting isn't it. :)
What did Jesus call his own disciples? Deaf and dumb. He said "How long do I have will I have put up with you" basically. "Are you still so dull?" he said once to them. He was not "nice" per se.
But we think we always need to be nice to other people or we aren't being Christian? Why is this?
Paul said, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ."
As Christians we called to be little Christs. We are called to be like him, to be conformed to his likeness as much as possible. Jesus was not "nice" as we think of the term. He was ruthless, rugged and confrontational. He was in people's faces. He didn't lay down and take things, except when he was being crucified, he submitted to that because he knew it served the greatest purpose of all time. But in his ministry he was not one to mess with.
Jesus said to the disciples that when the Holy Spirit came they would be "clothed with power from on high" and that they would become BOLD. The evidence that one has the Holy Spirit inside is boldness.
One the topic of being nice, the cowardly are among the list of those who will not inherit the Kingdom of God. We are not be cowardly, at all, we are called to be bold. "For you did not receive a spirit of fear but a spirit of sonship."
Being bold means a lot of things. It means confronting others when we need to. It means not turning a blind eye to sin. "Hate what is evil, cling to what is good." It means being firm and honest with others and not being fake.
The Bible says, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." It is actually more sinful to stuff anger and pretend to be nice and not angry than to express your anger. Granted we need to "speak the truth in love" and express our anger generally respectfully, but we NEED to speak the truth. When we suppress our anger, bitterness results, which only eats away at our soul.
Jesus never stuffed his anger. He expressed it, quite fully it would seem.
If he was feeling something, he said it. And he never apologized for anything he said. Have you noticed that? He was very direct, very confrontational and very bold.
When Peter was speaking to the crowd at Pentecost he was very bold. He told them flat out that they had just crucified the son of God. He didn't beat around the bush. He was completely honest with them. Satan is the father of lies. God calls us to total and complete honesty with ourselves, Him and everyone around us.
So are we called to be nice, or bold? I say bold. Forget about being nice. Being nice has a worship of man intrinsic to it. It shows that we fear men more than we fear God, which is idolatry. Paul said, "If I were still trying to please man I would not be a minister of the gospel." We are not called to please man. We are called to love man. But loving and pleasing man are two very different things.
Pleasing is placating, it does whatever the other person wants. But that is not love. Is it loving to give an alcoholic more alcohol? No of course not. Love looks out for the other person's best interest. Love wants the other person to succeed, even if that means saying something hard in order to help them. Sometimes the truth hurts but it is necessary for our growth. Parents discipline the child they love. God disciplines us because he loves us. And we are called to call out other Christians when needed. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
May God give us more boldness as we seek to follow him more and more. Amen :)
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