Statistics say that one in three women and one in four men are sexually abused at some point in their life, but sometimes, it seems like every single person has been sexually abused in some way sadly. We live in a very crazy world these days. People are more and more obsessed with power, which is the root cause of sexual abuse, not the sexual act. Satan is the ruler of this world and he has caused people to steel the innocence from far too many children. If you, or anyone you know, have been sexually abused, here are some tips on how to be able to recover from the trauma.
Steps
The second thing is you need to do is forgive yourself. For whatever reason, when children are molested or abused, they tend to blame themselves and have extreme anger at the little boy or girl that they were. Psychologists say that it is easier to be angry at yourself than at the person who hurt you, especially if it was a parent. It feels more safe to say it was your fault than to think that your parent, or other adult, could be that evil and out of control. But you need to see that you were and ARE innocent. No child wants a sexual act to be done to them. NO CHILD. Children do not care about sex and have no interest in it until about the age of 12. Often times the abuser will try to tell the victim that they wanted it, but that is a lie straight from the pit of hell. Children DO NOT want to do anything sexual. Only adults do. See the little you as the completely innocent boy or girl that you were. That is the truth.
A good psychology practice to do is to pull out old pictures of the little you. Journal about how looking at the little you makes you feel. Are you angry at the little you? Why are you? Think about it logically. Should you be angry at the little you? Could the little you have done ANYTHING to stop what happened? Was the little you strong, able to find a job, intelligent etc? No! See reality as it is and not in the warped way you may have been thinking of it. You could not push the person away; you were too weak. You could not run away from home; you would have starved and died. At the time, you probably could not have done anything to stop it, so you are not guilty. Often times victims freeze when sexual abuse is being done to them because children are not able to respond like an adult would. They become paralyzed in fear. They don't know what to do at all. Try writing letters to the little you about how you feel about him or her. Make peace with the little you. This all may sound silly but it really is the number one BEST tool in forgiving yourself and coming to total healing in this area. You HAVE TO forgive the little you.
You need to learn how to have confidence despite what happened to you. Realize that what happened to you does not define you. You are only a victim if you CHOSE to be. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Amen! Don't let anyone else victimize you. Stand up for yourself! Become a strong individual! Don't let people repeatedly hurt you. And don't let Satan repeatedly hurt you, abuse you and tear you down in your mind. Tell that jerk to shut up! Sorry, but sometimes you really need to get aggressive with him. :) Identify yourself as a child of God, not as an abuse victim. Amen! Know that if your earthly parent or parents were evil or deranged in some way, that God adopted you when you got saved and you are now HIS child. Who your earthly parents are does not matter. God calls you his own. He says to you "You are mine." Receive it and believe it! :) He is the only father that matters anyways.
Get in a sexual abuse support group. It really helps to hear other people's stories to know that you are not alone. It helps to know that what you went through did not just happen to you, but it happens to millions of people. Get an older person to mentor you who has been through the same thing. Reach out to others who understand what you have been through and how it affects you now. Sexual abuse has a lot of long term affects; such as insecurity, feeling like you don't deserve much, anger at self, anger at others, etc. Get help. The best way to heal from being hurt by someone is to be loved by others. You need to reverse the effects that the abuse had. Your trust was broken badly by another human being, so the only way to gain trust in human beings again, is to be around a lot of trust worthy, good people, at church preferably. God CAN use people to help heal you and he WILL if you let him. Amen :)
Tell people your story. Write about it. Blog about it etc. It helps to get it out in the open. As long as it stays secret and hidden, Satan can use it against you to cause you shame etc. Let it out in the light. Let others tell you it's ok that that happened to you. Let others assure that it wasn't your fault. You will not really recover until you can openly talk about it.
Lastly, don't turn to alcohol or drugs to heal your pain. Look to God. He alone can make you whole again. Don't turn to medications or doctors etc. Don't just try to subdue the symptoms, get to the root. You CAN be a whole person again, you just have to have faith. Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Amen! Believe it and it will be true for you! :) May God bless you all!
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