Fear

"Do one thing every day that scares you." That is a line from one of my favorite songs which is a speech called "Wear Sunscreen." :)

Sometimes fear can be fun.  It makes us feel more alive, that's for sure.  I am currently living in almost constant fear or apprehension of when my house will foreclose and I will be evicted. The back story to that is my ex husband hasn't worked for the past 8 months because he became schizophrenic.  I blame it on all the drugs he did in high school, which was tons.  My mom was paying my mortgage payment for about 4 months but she got tired of paying it. Then I started working but it wasn't enough to make up for what was past due on my house. :( If I could take up an offering for myself somewhere I would lol.  But I know most of America is broke now.  Most people are living paycheck to paycheck and none of us have much extra, it seems. But I'll be ok.  I trust that God will work things out for me.  He has so far, for sure.  This experience certainly has stretched my faith a ton. Somehow I have been able to live in my house 5 months after missing a payment.  Thanks be to God. :)

My impending foreclosure caused me to pick up smoking about 3 months ago, because I was so stressed about it.  I quit a week ago though, praise God. :) Now I've realized it's not like smoking is going to change the time of my foreclosure.  But now I think my fiancé and I have a good apartment picked out to move into soon so praise God. :)  It's in a really fun area so that would be great. I think I would go back to waitressing work which I have missed a lot.

In thinking about fear a lot this past 5 months, I realized, I think some people love fear.  That's why people love watching horror movies.  I have always hated the feeling of fear, but I suppose at times it can be good.  It certainly causes you to pray more when you are afraid.  Think about it.  God lets us go through fearful situations a lot.  He must do that to keep us praying. :)

But fear can be bad when we let a spirit of fear take a hold of us and our minds.  You can feel fear for a moment without being overcome by fear.  You can still keep moving forward in life, even though you are afraid.  Don't let fear make your whole life stop.  Don't crawl into a hole and want to hide forever because you are So afraid.  That's what my ex husband did, but I have kept pressing on.  I have kept living life.  I rented out rooms in my house to 6 different people the past 5 months and that was tons of fun.  I learned two new jobs and had a lot of fun with that.  Learn to keep living life in spite of your fears and always, always trust God, no matter what is happening in your life. Always remember that he has your back and he WILL work all things together for your good. Amen. :)

Maybe God had me go through this foreclosure situation so I would understand fear more, and have more authority to write on this subject.  If you are afraid of something in your life, I know how you feel.  It's almost like I'm dying of cancer, but it's not me dying, but my house dying. :(  My poor house. But I have hope now that I will move on to bigger and better places.  Maybe God is just saying I'm done with reaching people in this town and it's time to move on. New places and new scenery is always fun.

In Acts, when the disciples were persecuted they spread out all over the world and witnessed in more places.  So their hardship brought God glory because even more people got to hear the gospel.  Sometimes God lets us go through hard times to bring him glory, and to set us down a path where we can bring more people into the light of God's glorious and marvelous and wonderful grace.  Our life is not about us, it's about God.  Amen? Amen. :)

May God bless you all!  And remember to stay strong and not let fear overwhelm you.  Stay in faith, no matter what, that God loves you and will protect you and keep you safe.

And never forget, God loves you! :)