Road Trips

 The best way to bond as a couple or a family is to do a road trip together. There is always a lot to talk about. The scenery always changes, which makes everyone happy. 

My first road trip was at age 9. My family drove from CA to Nebraska. My dad had a hard time finding work in CA, and he wanted us to go live by his mom instead of my mom's mom. They didn't get along very well. I remember we went swimming somewhere along the way. We left our cat in the car. When we came back, he was panting. The poor guy got over heated, but he was still alive. Yay. 😺

My next road trip was when I was 14. This time it was just my mom and I. It was a bit scary because we drove through a lightning storm at one point. She probably should have gotten us a hotel, but there probably were no hotels around there. It was somewhere in Arizona which is like a giant state of nothing. It is just a huge desert with barely any civilization. We stopped at the Grand Canyon and Vegas. My aunt lives in Vegas. It was fun to see the city with her as our tour guide. 

When I was 22 my brother had just gotten back from Afghanistan. He was in the National Guard. To celebrate I convinced him and my mom to do a road trip with me up through South Dakota and Yellowstone and back to CA. My mom and I flew to Nebraska and we took my brother's car. It was a super fun trip. I hope we can do that again someday but perhaps up the East coast next time. It gets really cold up in Yellowstone. One night my mom was trying to take my sleeping bag. She got that cold. 😂 We traded sleeping bags because mine was warmer. 

After my ex died when I was 28 my mom and brother rode with me again from Nebraska to CA. I wanted to live with my mom again. I did for a season, and that was good for me to recover from Roger's death. That was when I started this blog actually. I remember us stopping at Vegas. My aunt tried to convince me to live there. She said I could make a ton babysitting in Vegas. I wanted to say, "Sorry but no. Vegas is the last city in the world I would live in." 

About 3 years ago I went on another road trip to Vegas. That was a bad idea overall. I went with my ex, but it was not fun. We ran out of gas. He wouldn't share his money with me. I regretted very much doing that trip. 

I hope if any of you do a road trip, that it will be a fun time for you. Driving through Colorado is super cool. Someday I'll drive through there again. 😁

Spiritual Attack

 The 3 most influential Christians all lost their son: Rick Warren, Toby Mac and Greg Laurie.

I think Satan was trying to trip them up, to make them give up on God. He wanted them to stop telling the world about God. But with all 3 of them, the loss of their son didn't stop them. 😁

That has always been a big encouragement to me in regards to letting go of my daughters. Satan messed with our family too. He wanted me to stop telling people about Jesus, but nothing can stop me. I'll be writing about how good God is and how much he loves us all till I die. I hope you will too. 🙂 Don't let Satan make you give up on your calling, whatever that may be. 

Look up the interview of Toby Mac with Focus on the Family. It was very good. 👏

The Dove Awards

This was such a great show! Good job to all the people involved!

I loved the part of this show with Katy Nichole singing "In Jesus' Name." That gave me chills the whole time she sang it. Such a great song! I'm very glad she won new artist of the year. I pray she writes more super great and anointed songs. Good job Katy! 

Oh one group that was missing was Red Rocks worship. Hopefully they will be more recognized next year. They just put out like 10 awesome worship songs. The focus is always on Elevation Worship. They are great too, but Red Rocks worship is more filled with God's spirit, in my opinion. Check out their songs if you haven't heard them yet. Ok "Lion" by Elevation was great this past year. 😁

I kept waiting for Phil Wickham to win an award or perform. Finally, toward the end he did. I care the most about him because he is from SoCal like me. 😃 I got to see him in concert a few times. Go Phil!

I loved how they brought back Grits and TobyMac to sing "My Life be Like." I would say that was the best Christian song ever written. It was cute how the whole audience was up and smiling and dancing to that. It came out probably 20 years ago, and we all still love it. 🎉

I loved that TobyMac won an award and talked about his son dying. May God give him peace over his son's death. It is hard to lose a child. May God help him to keep going with song writing, if he wants to. Thank you TobyMac for all the fantastic music you have put out over the years. You are the biggest star of Christian music, most people would say. You really made Christian music cool more than anyone else has. Good job Toby. I think his best songs have been Feel It, We All Bleed the Same and Speak Life. 👏

And good job Tauren Wells hosting this award show! Your voice is the most amazing voice in Christian music. Your preaching is super inspiring. You are great! Your song "Joy in the Morning" should have won an award. 🙂

 If you haven't seen the Dove Awards on YouTube, check it out!

The Jay Shetty Show

 Hey Jay, here are my suggestions on who you could interview next. Or Focus on the Family, these would be great people to interview. 

Me 😀

Jentezen Franklin 

Zach Williams

Justin Bieber

Zauntee

Tauren Wells

Julia Roberts 

Jordan Davis

Toby Mac

James Corden

Michael Buble

Phil Wickham 

Celine Dion

Jennifer Aniston 

George Clooney

Rihanna

Jimmy Fallon

Mariah Carey 

Brad Pitt 

Vince Vaghn 

😁

My 5 Cats

 Yep I have 5 cats. Because cats are so adorable. I have a very cute cat family. There is a mom and dad and 3 babies. The dad is actually one of the mom's sons from her first litter. What......lol What a trip, I know. The kittens are 2 girls and 1 boy. Although I am beginning to think it's 2 boys, because the other girl, who I thought was a girl, likes to growl at me when I pick her up. She has been that way since she was like 1 week old. I'm pretty sure I never dropped her. Maybe her mom did. :) I guess she was just born with a grumpy personality. Isn't that funny, that cats can be born with certain personalities just like us? 

My favorite is one of the girls that I named Stripey. She is so cute! She purrs when I pick her up. That is very nice and makes me very happy. I keep thinking of letting her stay in the garage, but I'm not too excited about cleaning the litter box every day. They have been just outside cats but now it's getting cold. We had a full day of 30 degree rainy weather yesterday. Lame....I made a few homeless cat shelters for them in the backyard. There is an outside table I put a big fuzzy blanket over and under it. I just put another fuzzy blanket over and under a lounge chair out there. I put a cat carrier out there with blankets inside of it. They prefer to mainly hang out under a bush by the back fence. I hope they take shelter in one of the fuzzy warm shelters I built for them. 

So those are my cats. The funny thing about them is they mirror my actual family. I have two girls and one boy. The mom I named Princess and I have been thought of as a princess by some probably. I have been kind of spoiled like a princess for a long time. Working at Papa John's helped me to become less Princess like, so that was good. If you ever feel like you are becoming too spoiled, just go work at a pizza store. You won't be a spoiled princess anymore. :)

The dad is Oreo. The other two kittens are Panda and Cookie. Please pray they don't get sick out in the cold. Maybe I'll let them all hang out in the garage till the rainy weather is over. May God bless you and your pets!

Take Me Home

 Such a well done movie. Just wonderful. You feel every emotion you could possibly feel in watching it. It's about two jaded and angry people traveling from New York to CA. I forgot he almost leaves her in the middle of no where. That happened in the movie Due Date too. 

She hated men, and he hated women. Eventually they learn to forgive the opposite sex. But it's a  process. 

I think most couples start that way. Both have scars from the opposite sex, but with time they heal each other's wounds, and start to feel whole again. 😃

The story was so similar to road trips in my life. I have done about 10 long road trips where crazy events took place. I have gone broke on a road trip, ran out of gas, slept in my car in the cold. Yet for some reason, part of me wants to do more road trips. 😂 Better to just live vicariously through people in movies who go on crazy adventures. 

Stay safe and warm out there y'all. Don't do anything really crazy. 😁

On Suffering

 One of my favorite movies has always been Patch Adams. I think one reason is because at the beginning he commits himself to a mental hospital. My mom did that for a couple weeks after my dad molested me, which would make sense. She was feeling suicidal. I always wondered what that was like for her to be there. I wonder if it was something like how it is in the movie. 

Toward the end of the movie, Patch loses his new girlfriend. She is murdered by a patient she went to help. 😪 He tells God, "You created the world in 7 days. Maybe you should have spent one of those days working on your compassion." Then a butterfly comes out of nowhere as if to say, "Hello, God sent me to say, you will be ok." The butterfly reminded him that God still cared about him, even though he let his girlfriend die. He then goes back into being a doctor with a joyful heart. Such a wonderful story. 😃

God has some compassion, but he also lets us endure a lot of pain in life, for reasons only he understands. He likes to see us overcome. That is the main thing he has told me about my suffering. He likes to see what we will do when we struggle with things. Granted it is frustrating for us that we are mostly here to entertain him, but he is the creator. We are not. 

You might say, "I would never find those kind of things entertaining as God does." But then why do you watch the kind of movies that you do? 🤔

I think that is one reason why some refuse to believe in God. They don't want to think about that concept. Are we here just to entertain God? Yes, that is an ugly truth of life. Mostly that is why we are here. We are here for him, not him here for us. It can feel powerless, which makes us angry sometimes. We don't get why he doesn't make our lives perfect. Why does he let us experience pain? The reason is to make us stronger. I like to tell God, "I am strong enough thank you." 🙂

I hope you can still love God and want to know God even with knowing you are just here to entertain him. Just accept it that it is what it is and try to enjoy your life as much as you can. On a positive note, it's kind of cool that we can entertain the most powerful being in the universe. I think so anyways.

God bless!

Sunday Church

 Sunday morning always feels like a special time of the week. I can't wait to tune in live via YouTube to Steven Furtick's church and Jentezen Franklin's church and Shawn Johnson's church. Sometimes I don't like the worship or the sermon so I look at another service.  

I prefer online church. There are two down the street from me. I went to one and they were running down the aisles. Things like that feel odd to me. Another one I keep meaning to check out. Maybe soon I will. 

Usually in person church is never as good as those 3 pastors online. If you like in home church check out those pastors on any Sunday around 9am or 10am. They are great! 

Verses on Homosexuality

Is God ok with people being gay? Can you be a gay Christian? Let's see what the Bible says.

Leviticus 18:22 

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination."

That is a very serious statement not to be taken lightly. 

Leviticus 20:13 

"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them."

They do this in Muslim countries. 😳 Does this apply today? No. It could be said God is much more merciful now than he used to be. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

Romans 1:26-27 

"What can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error." 

Jude 1:7 

"Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire."

Mark 10:6-9 

Jesus said, "From the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh."

Genesis 19:1-38 

"The two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth and said, “My lords, please turn aside to your servant's house and spend the night and wash your feet. Then you may rise up early and go on your way.” They said, “No; we will spend the night in the town square.” But he pressed them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house. And he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate. But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may have sex with them.” 

This is why anal sex is referred to as Sodomy, because it was very common in the city of Sodom that God destroyed. 

Does God think homosexuality is ok? No. If God made you gay from birth is it ok? No. And no one is gay from birth. It is a learned behavior. 

A person may have an inclination toward being gay, but they can resist the temptation to do that just like any temptation can be resisted. 

The City that God Destroyed

 Why did God destroy Sodom and Gomorrah? The whole city was mostly gay. Here is the story. Two male angels entered the city to test the people. They stayed with Lot and his family. The men of the city were banging on Lot's door asking for him to send the two angels out so they could have sex with them. Lot said, "How about I give you my daughters instead?" I always resented that part of the story. Lot gives the men his daughters. The next day Lot and his family leave the city so God can destroy it. Lot's wife looks back, which meant she didn't want to leave. That is the story of her turning into a pillar of salt. God was judging her for loving such a sinful city. 

I remember 10 years ago I was reading Revelation again. I was getting really worried that Rev. 19 was about America. It said in one hour it was destroyed, Babylon. From the description I was thinking it sounded like America. 

Does America now look like Sodom and Gomorrah? Not yet. But we are on our way there. 

"Note the kindness and severity of God." Kindness to us now, but severity for those he decides to judge.

India

 When I was 14 I went on a missions trip to India with my church. I was the youngest on my team. We went with YWAM. It was their first time sending a team to India. I picked that country because I was representing India in a MUN conference. One of the topics was religious intolerance. I read how they would burn Christians in India. That was literally why I wanted us all to go. I said to my youth pastor, "Maybe other people would be too scared to go, so we should go." I was a little firecracker in my youth. :) Maybe kind of suicidal, but mainly just daring. 

I remember walking around India when we went shopping for Saris. Everyone was staring at us and watching us as if to say, "Why are you here?" Maybe they thought we were famous movie stars shooting a movie there. We had a guy following us around with a camera to make a promo video. The video was meant to encourage other missions groups to go there. I remember he was about 24 and I had a crush on him. 

First we flew to Seol, then Bangkok, then Calcutta and then Guwahai. I was very interested to see Calcutta because I knew Mother Theresa spent most of her time there in ministry. It was kind of sad. I could feel the sadness in the air there. Overall I learned from my trip to appreciate all I have more. We never realize how lucky we are to have all the things that we have. Our lives are so blessed and comfortable. Of course I think we are blessed in America because we were started to be a Christian nation. Although I have heard some things saying the opposite. There may have been a lot of witchcraft at the beginning of America, but I like to focus on us being mostly Christian. 

If you get a chance to go to India do it. It will help you appreciate your current life more. Really anywhere you travel will help you appreciate what you have more.

My Life Story

 I was raised in a Baptist home. My parents were on fire Christians, for the most part. My dad molested me when I was 6 though, which was very strange. I have always thought it was due to demons in his mind. 

At age 14 I officially gave my life to God. My youth pastor asked me where to go for the yearly missions trip. I said India! I was representing India in an MUN conference. It was an amazing vacation. I mean missions trip. 😃 We visited the Christian churches in Guwahati to encourage them. I performed gospel magic tricks. 

For college I went to Biola near L.A. I majored in English hoping to teach high school English someday. That is still a plan of mine for my future. Since college I mostly worked as a pizza delivery driver and waitress. I taught at a private school one year. That was a blast. 

My goal is to write 100 books in my lifetime. So far I have 35 self-published books on Amazon. Search Lisa Bedrick books to see them. I also hope to travel to every continent before I pass on. 

I have had 3 children. 2 are with my ex and I have a 6 month old son. He is the cutest and sweetest thing ever made by God. I am so blessed to hang out with him 24/7. 😃

 I love my mate very much. He is very kind and caring. We are very close. 

I hope to help as many people get to heaven as I can, with God's help. 

May God bless you! 

Confidence Booster

 Proverbs 14:26 

"In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge."

So many today are worried about self-confidence. Insecurity is becoming a common issue. Why is that? Because we are lacking in a connection to God. The more connected to God that you are, the more confident you will be. Your confidence is in knowing God loves you, not in yourself. 

If you are married, you can be confident that God will keep you two together. Faith gives confidence. If you have kids, have confidence and faith that God will keep them safe. You don't need to be worried about anything when you really have faith in God. Then you can have full confidence. 

The most attractive quality a person can have is confidence. When someone believes in themselves, everyone else tends to believe in them too. When you believe God will protect you, he will. God rewards our faith. He gives us what we have faith in. "According to your faith it will be done to you." 

Whatever you want to have happen, have faith that it will happen and it generally will. 

Why would a man who fears God create a refuge for his children? Because of the verse, "Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." If you fear God, you will resist Satan. The more you resist Satan, the safer your kids will be. If you don't allow evil spirits into your mind, you will always be a safer person. Then your house will be safe and everyone around you will be safer. 

Don't just resist Satan for yourself. Do it for your kids too. 

Biblical Parenting

Have you ever wondered what God has to say about being a good mom or dad? Here are some verses on the subject. 

Proverbs 14:26 

"In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge."

The more you fear God, the better your life will be, the safer you will be. The more safe you are, the more safe your children will be. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Create a refuge in your home for your kids. Fear God. Stay safe. Keep Satan away from your home and your children and yourself. 

Joshua 24:15 

"Choose this day whom you will serve...as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket it seems, but your family should be different. Will you serve the Lord? Even if the rest of the world is serving Satan, serve God, no matter what. 

Psalm 68:5 

"Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation."

Maybe you don't know how to parent well because you either had bad or absent parents. God can father you. God can show you how to be a correct parent with great parenting skills. Ask for his help. He loves to help his children with whatever they need help with. 

Proverbs 23:22 

"Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old."

This verse has always stuck out to me. Apparently, it's possible to despise your mom when she is old. Don't do that. Be understanding that getting old is very hard. Be patient with your elderly parents. 

Proverbs 31:26-27 

"A woman of noble character... opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."

There is always something that needs to get done. Never be an idle mother. Keep your house clean. Care for your children and yourself well. Speak words of wisdom anytime you can. "Life and death are in the power of your tongue." Speak words of life to your family. 

Ephesians 6:4 

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

It's possible for mothers to do this too. Be gentle toward your kids always. 

Proverbs 17:6 

"Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers."

I love this. Being a grandma makes you royalty. What does the second part mean? Children feel more glory when they have a good dad who stays with them. Fathers are very important to children. 

Psalm 127:3-5 

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

God is rewarding you if he gives you kids. Anyone who gets pregnant is meant to raise that kid. I believe God only has the women who deserve it most become moms. It is God saying that you are worthy to be a mom. 

1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 

"For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God."

Fathers are in charge of training kids to be good law abiding citizens. May they all do that job well. 

Proverbs 31:28 

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her."

Good mothers are told by their kids how lucky they are. They are praised by their husbands. This is not common occurrence now. Be a kind of mother that your husband will want to praise. 

Colossians 3:21 

"Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."

When dads are overly harsh with their kids, they give up. Try to be more encouraging rather than discouraging. 

Proverbs 22:6 

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

He may depart for a season, but he will come back to God and to church eventually. Don't give up hope. 

Titus 2:1-15 

"Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands."

Moms, work just at home if you can. Always submit to your man. Your life will be happier if you do. It is not meant to be some dogmatic curse on women. It just makes a home safer if the woman submits to the man. 

More verses about being a good parent:

Psalm 139:13 

God you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Proverbs 23:22-25 

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.

2 Timothy 1:5 

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

3 John 1:4 

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Proverbs 31:25 

A woman of noble character who can find? ...Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

Proverbs 29:15 

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 6:20 

My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.

Leviticus 19:3 

Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.

1 Peter 3:4 

Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Psalm 113:9 

He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!

Proverbs 13:24 

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 

These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Power Struggles

Don't get into power struggles with your baby. I remember with my first baby, she wouldn't always drink her bottle when I wanted her to. I would get angry that she did not do everything I wanted her to do. I thought she was declining her bottle just to test the limits of my patience. Granted babies can try to test the adults in their life. They like to exert their own will, starting almost right after they are born. 

Mostly though, babies may not want to drink because they want to stay awake. They don't mean to annoy you. They just don't want to get sleepy. They might be tired of sleeping. Maybe they just want to spend more time with you. Maybe they want you to hold them more before they are willing to drink a bottle and sleep. This is why rocking a baby to sleep is ideal. They want more parent time and holding time before sleep. 

If your baby or child is not compliant, just stay calm and call your mom or pray. :)

Good Baby Care

Everything about caring for a baby, and any child, is trial and error. You try one thing and it doesn't work, so you have to rethink how to do things. Here are some tips on things I have learned via trial and error.  

If your baby doesn't want to sleep for a nap or bedtime, have them do tummy time on a rug. That is really the only way for them to get tired, other than crying, but there is no need for them to cry a lot to get tired. Just have them do tummy time. 

If they seem bored, have them play with an empty water bottle. It is lightweight so it won't hurt them. If there is water in it, they might figure out how to open it and so get water all over. Make sure it's empty or has very little water in it. 

Change their diaper often. I think the Dry and Gentle diapers work for the day time hours, and you will save lots of money using those. Babies don't pee as much at one time during the day. At night though they drink more and pee more, if you check on them every few hours as you should. Get Huggies or a better brand for the nighttime hours. Otherwise, your baby might get a diaper rash in the folds of their skin. Check them all over periodically to make sure they don't have a red rash anywhere. Apply diaper rash cream if they get a rash. The Desitin rash cream works very well to clear up rashes. 

Hold your baby at least once every hour. It is nice when they can lay around and play with toys or watch TV, but you should pick them up at least once every hour. Hug them, dance around the room with them, bounce them on your knee in case they need to burp and clean them with wet wipes. Always keep their hands and neck clean. At night though, try to keep them laying down in one place, or else they will wake up and not go back to sleep easily. Change their diaper wherever they are sleeping while they are laying down. That will make your life happier and easier. 

Don't hold your baby non-stop all day. They need to learn to be independent from you. Also try to maintain a clean house while caring for your baby. It is good for you and the baby to have a clean environment. So often moms neglect their household duties when caring for their baby. Don't do that. 

Bottles. It is hard to find a great bottle. I like the Dr. Brown bottles but without the insert. It seems to flood out and get milk all over if you keep the insert in. I don't know why someone decided to put that in bottles. It was a bad invention. I had issues with my first two girls of milk getting all over, once they were holding their own bottles. Just take the insert out. If your child is doing sleep drinking, take the bottle out of their mouth. They can choke if they are not careful to keep drinking when they are falling asleep. Give them that bottle when they wake up. That is a safer time for them to drink. 

If you want to save yourself from the crazy rush to get a bottle in the middle of the night, have a bottle on their dresser at all times. Prep lots of bottles before bedtime and refrigerate them. Always bring out a cold one when you give them the bottle that you had ready by their bed. This will prevent them from crying a lot in the middle of the night. 

Bath time. If your baby likes bath time, give them a bath every night. They sleep better after a bath. If they seem to hate it, you can mostly clean them with wet wipes until they enjoy bathtime again. You are able to clean them everywhere with wet wipes if you prefer to do it that way. It can be safer because you don't have to worry about water getting in their ears that way.

Don't sleep train your baby. Kids don't sleep through the night until they are about 4. Not even kidding. If you don't help them throughout the night, that is child neglect and abuse. That is just my opinion on that topic. Babies and toddlers need to be fed very often 24 hours a day to stay healthy. 

Good luck with your baby and good job fellow moms! You are all super women and men! :)

Be Grateful for Your Salvation

 Not everyone will get to be saved. Not everyone is able to see God. Why does a loving God not automatically save all of us? Because he is just, and he has to punish sin. What is sin? Anything that you know deep down is wrong. That is what sin is. The Bible says the law is written on our hearts, everyone's hearts. We all know from birth what sin is. 

Most people these days just think of God as loving, a stuffed teddy bear that we can hold when we are scared or sad. He is also the lion of Judah. He is fierce and strong. Read the book of Revelation if you need a reminder about how strong God can and will be one day.

Here are verses about unbelievers and why they probably will stay unbelievers the rest of their life. You can still try to save them, but don't worry if they never seem to get it. Maybe they were not meant to. 

John 14:6 

Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Was he honest when he said this? Yes. It is the ultimate truth. If you don't believe Jesus existed and that he died to save you, you cannot be saved, for the most part. God makes exceptions to this sometimes, but not very often. 

Luke 1:37 

"Nothing will be impossible with God.”

Are there people who are impossible to save? No, because nothing will be impossible with God. If you really believe you, or that other person, can be saved, they can. Just keep believing. "According to your faith it will be done to you."

Can you as a saved person be best friends or married to a non-believer? It is not wise to do that. 

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, 'I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them,' says the Lord, 'And touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me,' says the Lord Almighty.”

Be careful who you choose to associate with. 

Ephesians 4:18 

"They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart."

Are they blind just because God wants them to be? No the first reason is because they hardened their hearts toward God. 

2 Corinthians 4:4 

"In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."

This passage suggests that Satan keeps people blind so that they cannot see. But if a person really wants to see God, he will help them to see. 

1 Corinthians 15:33 

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

If you want to walk the narrow path that leads to life, be careful who you listen to or talk to. This can be difficult. It is not easy to find good company, but try to so that the bad friend you might have will not make you bad. 

Hebrews 3:12 

"Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God."

This is regarding losing one's salvation. My mom and I have had arguments about this a vew times. She hates when I mention this possibility. I think she is scared it could happen to her. It can happen to anyone. Anyone can lose their savlation. That is why we have to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling." You can't assume you will always be saved no matter what you do. What you do still matters. It is not a one and done thing with praying the prayer and then you are good forever. You have to still be careful how you live and what you do. We are not saved by our works, but we also kind of are. If you really know God well, you will understand that. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

2 Timothy 2:24-26 

"The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will."

Captured by Satan. How many do you know who are captured by Satan? That is an interesting way to put it. 

Romans 1:20 

"God's invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." 

No one can say they found it impossible to believe God exists. Look at your own body and the complexity of it. How can you deny there is a God when you consider that? There must have been a creator. Many just want to deny there is a God, because they are scared of him. If you did the right thing every day, you would have no reason to be scared of him. So do the right thing. Then you won't be scared of God. 

John 8:47 

"Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

This is beautiful. The Holy Spirit is said to lead us into all truth. If you do not see the truth, it is because you do not want to. You are not of God, but you can be. Just ask the Holy Spirit to take over your mind and he will. 

Hebrews 11:6 

"Without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

"According to your faith it will be done to you." If you believe God can save you, he will. 

More good verses about unbelievers:

Romans 12:2 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

1 Peter 3:15 

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.

Jude 1:22 

Have mercy on those who doubt. :)

James 5:16 

Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Not Everyone Will Be Saved

 "The god of this world has blinded the minds of unbelievers." 

If most of the world now seems brain washed and blind to God, this is why. This is also why...

Romans 9:19-23

One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?” 20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” 21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?

22 What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? 23 What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory." 

Are some people destined to hell no matter what they do? It's hard to say. I used to believe we all had a free will to choose God. "Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." But this passage seems to suggest the opposite view. 

The point of all this is, don't be an object of wrath prepared for destruction. God can and does change his mind about certain people. 

J Names

 Highly influential and awesome people with J Names...

Jesus 😁, Justin Bieber, Julia Roberts, Joel Osteen, Jay Shetty, Jim Daly, John Fuller, Joyce Meyer, Joni Lamb, John Piper, Jentezen Franklin, Joseph Prince, TD Jakes...

I'm so glad I named my son James. 🙂

Evangelism

 Why do we almost never see evangelism these days? Because the whole world has a spirit of fear now, and fear paralyzes all of us. 

Jesus said, "The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few." Meaning hundreds of people want to find God, but most saved people are too scared to help them find God. Or they are still figuring out how to save themselves. 

If you are searching for Yaweh, the true God, ask him to reveal himself to you. There are many religions, but there is only one true one. You know which one it is. 😁 Christianity is the only true way to fully know God. 

You need to believe Jesus died for your sins. It is that easy. It can really be that easy. So many make it super complex when it really is very simple. 

There is a gift of tongues that the truly saved will exhibit. You can be kind of saved without speaking in tongues, but it helps to enable you to be totally filled with God's spirit. There is no magic formula to start it. For me it started when I confessed a sin of mental adultery to my previous husband. Then the gift of tongues started for me. I still don't get why it's special, but I'm glad I had the experience that I heard about a lot. 

Religion is such a tricky thing. How do we get to God? How do we avoid hell? The Holy Spirit is the key, and being filled with the Holy Spirit. Open yourself up to God's Holy Spirit. Ask him to fill your mind, body and soul and get saved forever. 

Hell Sucks

 You don't want to go to hell. It's not a giant, fun BBQ.

 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." A fear of God is lacking in our modern world. The issues are not what we all think the issues are. The core issue is a lack of the fear of the Lord. I think the reason people stopped fearing God is because very few people grew up respecting/fearing their parents. So many youth now are spoiled. 

What is the solution? Remind people to fear the Lord. 

"Work out your salvation with fear and trembling." 

Here are verses about hell:

Revelation 21:8 

"As for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

Revelation 20:10 

"The devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever."

Romans 6:23

"The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Matthew 25:41 

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels."

Revelation 20:15 

"If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire."

Matthew 5:22 

"I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire."

Revelation 14:11 

"The smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of its name.”

Two Become One

 I have been watching Focus on the Family videos non-stop for the last 30 hours. I slept a little. :)  They are so good! It is ironic because my mom listened to this show on the radio a lot when I was a little kid. 

A marriage is meant to represent the Trinity, the godhead. They are three in one. In marriage you are two in one, at least you are supposed to be. You are meant to be unified in regards to every aspect of life. 

I have always seen the Holy Spirit as the female in the Trinity since she is described as the comforter. The husband might first represent Jesus the son and eventually the Father, as they grow and mature.  The Bible says that we go from glory to glory. The more we learn, the more we connect with God, the more glory we have essentially. 

"Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." The Holy Spirit is called our counselor. The Proverbs 31 wife gives wise counsel, "She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue." 

"In the beginning God made man in his image." What does it mean that we are made in God's image? We reason like God. Does that mean that we are little gods? If you have the Holy Spirit in you, you essentially have the power of a little god. But you yourself are not God. 

Anytime a person is saved, they pray the prayer asking the Holy Spirit to come into their heart. From then on they are a new person. They are empowered with God's spirit. They can pray and have their prayers answered almost instantly, depending on what they pray for. 

Have you asked God to fill you with his Holy Spirit? You can do it. It is great! "You have not because you ask not." Just ask God for his Holy Spirit.

Think Like a Monk

 This is another book by Jay that I plan to read someday. If I would have thought like a monk, I could have saved my first marriage, well maybe. I should have wanted less. I should have been more content with what I already had, but I was always wanting more. Watch out for that. What you already have is probably enough. You just have to change your perspective. 

How do monks think? 

They seem to need very little food, sleep and material things. They love peace and quiet. They are disciplined. They are generally happy. 

I read a few books by Catholic monks in my college great books program at Biola. It was called the Torrey Honors Institute for all the brightest minds at my college. I aspired to write books like the monk's books that we read. There was one titled "On Friendship." That was my favorite one. 

Monks love to think and write about life. They try to pass on any wisdom they have learned in order to make the world a better place. There is always a well of knowledge inside of them just waiting to get out. This comes from their times of meditation, or just being in silence and thinking a lot. The best writing comes after thinking about everything you need to think about. 

In SoCal I went to a Catholic monastery with a class I was in on Saint Augustine. We were reading his book "Confessions." I was very into Augustine for a season. My favorite quote by him is "Our hearts are restless until they rest in thee." That was my life motto for a season. 

Rest your heart in God. Nothing else matters really.  Just focus on God all day, every day. 

8 Rules of Love

This is a book title by Jay Shetty. I will read it at some point. 😃 Here are my own 8 Rules of Love. 

1.  Never raise your voice with your mate

2. Get it on at least once a week

3. Have a meal together every day and talk 

4. Hug as much as you can every day 

5. Text them when you miss them and say an encouraging message to them 

6. Always respect your mate, no matter what they do or say 

7. Be grateful for your mate 

8. Buy something your mate would like every week 

Be Thankful

 Joel Osteen said, "If you needed it, you would have it." You may want a lot more than you have, but thank God that you have all that you need. 

The next book I write will be titled "Be Thankful." Did you know that the more thankful you are, the more happy you are? The more greedy you are, the less happy you are. Look at the character of Scrooge. He was always greedy for more money and never happy. Don't be like Scrooge. "Whoever loves money never thinks they have enough money." 

You may think your home is falling apart, but at least you have a home. You may think your mate is getting less attractive, but at least you have a mate. You may think your savings is almost nothing, but at least you have a savings. 

Be happy where you are on the way to success. Or maybe you already have success and don't realize it. I have a sweet baby boy now. My 3 closest friends are all infertile. They all might want a baby, but I did it! I created one. That is success. 😃 Maybe raising a child is a better success than selling millions of books. Although selling millions of books would be awesome too. Maybe someday. 

God has you where he wants you to be. And ultimately, you are where you most want to be. "Bloom where you are planted." Make the most out of where you are. You are there for a reason.

 You can change the world from your own living room. Figure out how and do it. 😁

Transitions

 Why do some men want to be a woman instead of a man? Because they hated their dad and admired their mom. Why would they want to be a man like their dad if they hated him? The same could be said for women who want to be a man. Perhaps they hated their mom but admired their dad. 

I had anger at both my parents so I understand that. I suppose I had a lot more anger at my dad, so I was happy that I was a woman. I saw almost nothing admirable about men. As I have gotten older, I have come to respect certain men, but most men I still see as idiots. 

I can somewhat understand a woman cutting her boobs off. All us women get tired of men looking at our chest. It makes us wish we didn't have boobs. We all just want one man looking at them, our mate, and the rest need to look somewhere else. 

It is tricky now with how much women are out in society. It used to be that a woman lived in her safe home until she got married. Now women leave home when they can and venture off into the madness of the world. 

Stay safe women. Women were intended to be sheltered by her dad and then her man. If they aren't, I think that is why gender confusion happens for women. Or due to a fear of child labor. And it is a thing to be feared. 😣

Women should courageously accept their role as women. All men need to step up and become real men. That is how I see it. 

I have more thoughts like this in my self published book titled "Homosexuality is Gay." Look it up on Amazon. Search Lisa Bedrick books. 😁

Birth Order Personalities

 Kevin Leman wrote a book called "The Birth Order Book." He says that if you are the oldest child, or an only child, you are meant to be a leader, a manager, a politician. If you are the youngest you are meant to be a comedian. If you are the middle child you are meant to be a mediator, whatever job that means. My mom wanted to be a translator and she was a middle child. I did always want to be a comedian and I was the youngest. My big brother was a manager, and he was the oldest. 

I was also the middle child for a season, when my younger step-brother came into the family. Then my big brother moved so then I was the oldest, essentially. Then I became a pre-school teacher. 

I can be both a sanguine and a choleric. It can be good to be both. Each personality is needed for different situations. That is why working in pizza was perfect for me. My sanguine side loved just being a delivery driver. My choleric side loved being a manager. 

I was the only bridge between those two groups. Normally the managers are always pretty frustrated with the drivers. The drivers just want to stand around and do no work and talk. The managers are working their but off to get the orders ready for the drivers. I was the only driver that was willing to help in the store a lot. So they made me a manager. But then I missed being a driver, so I brought my music in to entertain myself and everyone else. Some people loved it, others hated it. That is probably why it didn't work out for me to work in pizza forever. I was trying to have fun and get work done at the same time. It's hard for most people to do both, sadly. One day my head manager said my speaker should be thrown in the trash. :( That almost made me cry. This is funny though. A few days later my speaker was vibrating and actually fell in the trash. :)

If you just want to get work done, try to have fun too. If you just want to have fun, get some work done too. And good luck doing both at the same time. :)

My Girls

 I had a genius dream last night. Maybe it was meant to be a suggested option for me from God. In my dream I went to my girls' school and told them they had the flu and I didn't really want them to be at school that day. They had my girls come to the office. They noticed they didn't look sick, so I told them the full story. I said how my ex had Schitzophrenia and this was the only way I could pick them up because I don't want to see him. I had fun at my place with my girls in my dream. They were all grown up like around 10 and 12 and my son was older too. Maybe in the future I could do that. But should I? For now I think my ex is doing a good job as a dad. 

Lately my brother's son seems to want nothing to do with him. I'm sure he said the wrong thing at some point and now Dylan is giving him the silent treatment. I was thinking, "See your kids leave you no matter what someday, so what's the point?" Every kid shuns their parent eventually. There will always be an inevitable separation someday. I hope my ex realizes that. He can't keep them in his crazy jail forever. He wants to keep them from me, but he can't keep them from finding a man someday. I guess he could but hopefully he won't. I pray they both find great guys who will take them away from their dad. I never felt he deserved to parent them, but I don't see him interact with them, so I don't know if he does a good job or not. I can only pray for them and hope that he is doing a good job. 

May God keep my girls safe, even though they live with a crazy person. May they never become like him. May they seek God in the correct way and not Charismania. I pray that my ex won't make his mom almost crazy like he made me almost crazy when I lived with him. :( I pray that she will keep going strong as a grandma, and that she will be rewarded someday for how well she took care of my girls. At least I hope she is taking good care of them. 

The Father Wound

 I think wounds from our father, or our father figure, hurt more than other wounds because we expect more from them. In my life my dad sexually abused me as a kid. My step-dad visually molested me if that makes sense. He used to check me out a lot, as in look at my chest and I knew he was. Then years later he molested my daughter. I wish I would have seen that coming, but for some reason I thought he was a reformed man by then. 

Men these days really are dropping the ball. I have always wished men could control their sexual urges more. I actually prayed for that last night, that God would make all men just slightly attracted to women rather than ridiculously attracted to women. A man's sex drive has always irritated me. In my relationships I had some fun in intimacy, but it generally is just me fulfilling a duty. Men need sex once a week and that is how it is. But anytime a guy was super into me, I didn't like it. Maybe because it reminded me of my dad or my step dad.

Dads, be appropriate with your daughters and granddaughters. It's sad that even needs to be said, but it is more common than most people realize. Dads and step dads do all kinds of things with the young women living in their home now. I don't know if it's because they think it's their right, as odd as that sounds. Maybe they think since they pay mostly for the house, they can do anything to the people who live there. I don't understand their crazy minds. 

If you were molested or messed with by your father figure, may God heal your wounds. May you trust men again and not despise the male sex drive. May it not affect your future or current relationships. May you believe that men can be good, even if you mainly experienced bad men. Not all men are bad. :)

Giving Advice to Children

 "Be the person you want your kids to be." Kevin Leman says that on his interview on Focus on the Family. He wrote 60 books what....That is amazing. My goal is to write 100 books in my life time. That is very possible. It would be great if I can sell them too, but I'll worry about that later. For now I'll just write them. My big dream is to be on the Jay Shetty show someday. That would be awesome! 

"Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it." How do you train a child? By leading by example. Whatever you are, your children will follow your lead and become just like you. Our focus has to be on our child 24/7 to train them. If we focus too much on our job or our friends or our mate even, we miss out on training that child well. A lot of kids these days just raise themselves. It is very sad. Moms should stay home, but if you need the money, may God bless you with great babysitters that can train your children well. 

For the most part I feel like I raised myself. My mom never gave me advice about anything. She did have a rule for me that I dress modestly and not wear make up. She preferred that I listen to only Christian music. Beyond that she didn't advise me on too many things. The only advice my dad gave me was "Get as many A's in school as possible" and "Be the big fish in the small pond." Their focus was on other things for the most part, themselves maybe? I don't know why they didn't try more to train my brother and I. With my dad we mainly watched movies at his house. Some of them were crazy movies too. I blame that a little on me being a wayward child for a time. I shoplifted some, started smoking at age 13, drank a bit, had boyfriends. He should have just showed us Disney movies, but he was kind of a retarded father. 

My mom had dinner for us every night, but other than that, I don't recall us talking much when I was a child. In college I called her almost every day at times. She helped me get through the pressure of college. Thank you mom for that. :) After college we went out for breakfast every Saturday for a season. We did a couple Bible studies together. I got to see her lead a few Bible studies. That was super cool! Overall though, she didn't say much. I told my bf the other day, "I have been ok with how quiet you are because my mom was always quiet." I always wished she had talked more though. 

Talk to your kids more. They need your advice. They need to hear your input on every situation in their life. Maybe most parents don't know what to say. Think of something. I tried to ask my mom for advice when I was a new mom. She just said she didn't remember. Luckily I found BabyCenter.com and joined a group on there to learn about being a mom. That was so helpful. Check it out if you are a new mom. 

Maybe parents are slow to give advice to their kids because they don't want to blame themselves if their child does the wrong thing. Maybe they just don't know what to say. Try hard to empathize with your child's hard days and give any advice you can think of. 

Good luck fellow parents. You can do it. Talk to your kids as much as you can. :)

To my Man

 Thank you for getting me take out every day

Thank you for doing your own laundry 😁

Thank you for shaving your face sometimes 

Thank you for working so many hours 

Thank you for being so sweet 😍

I love you so much I could explode 

You are the best guy in the world for me 

You mean the world to me 

I love how strong you are 

I could not ask for more 

Than how well you take care of me 

You are great! 🎉😃🔥💖💞

From my Boy

 I love you mommy! 

I bet no one has loved you 

As much as I do

I just want to hug you all day 

Thank you for all the bottles and good sleepy times 

You are a great mom! 

To My Boy

I love you so much

We have some hard days

But the good outweighs the bad

I am so glad God blessed me with you

We feel like best friends already

I love that you got my eyes and my hair

You look and act like my big brother ironically 

It is like having him back in my life through you

Thank you for being so sweet

And for being patient with me like I am with you

You are a wonderful gift from heaven 

I promise to love you and care for you forever 

Alpha Signs

I have noticed that we are born with a certain personality. People have always wondered if it's nature or nurture that causes a child's personality. We are very much born a certain way, with a certain make up. I noticed that when working in a pre-school with toddlers. Every child is born different from other children. That is why I started researching the signs. Some signs are alpha and others are beta. My dad and I are alpha signs. We seemed to be natural born leaders. We like to talk a lot. My mom and brother are beta signs. They have always seemed more like followers. That was a bit odd for me being an alpha to be raised by a beta. I always felt more like I was my mom's mom instead of her being my mom. Perhaps a lot of kids have felt that way about their parents. The reason might be that you are an alpha sign, and your parent is a beta sign. 

I also have always known I am a fire sign. Fire can be good, if it is controlled, or else it can cause a bonfire. It can explode more easily, but it can keep others warm. There are good and bad sides to fire, of course. All the fire signs are alpha signs. They usually are the Cholerics of the world, the A type personalities. They are the ones who are good leaders and get things done, but they can be kind of mean sometimes. 

I have heard Joyce Meyer say a few times that she wished she was born with a more submissive and quiet personality, but she wasn't. We are all born the way we will be the rest of our lives. We can try to hide our real selves under a mask, but our true colors come out eventually. The key is to harness your strengths and use them for good rather than bad. It can be good that some are followers. We can't all be leaders. But leaders are helpful to shine the light and lead the way for others. That is what I try to do anyways. 

What are you? A beta or an alpha? You probably already know. If you are an alpha, use your gift of speaking and leading to influence others in a positive way. If you are beta, thank you for being so calm and sweet and kind. Don't sweep things under the rug until you explode though. Learn to express yourself. What you want matters. If you know that it does, others will believe it does too. 

How to Avoid Divorce

 In the movie "A Good Mother" the mom is talking to her grandma. She said she divorced her ex because they weren't making each other happy. The grandma said, "Happy...yes there were 10 years where I woke up wishing I had died the night before." "What fixed it?" "My next baby girl." 

Most marriages aren't that terrible but some are. 

Does your mate keep you happy? If they don't maybe you want too much from them. Maybe you expect to be spoiled. If you want them to spoil you, do you spoil them? Do you try hard to keep them happy? 

Marriage is work. It requires self-control. It takes giving up sleep at times to fill their needs. It takes not eating all the food in the house so they have food too. 

It's all about the little things. Every evening for 1.5 years now I have sent my man an encouraging text when he is working. I think that has helped keep us together. You have to show you care for each other, in some way. He gets me take out every day for lunch from anywhere I want it from. Both people need to give in some way. 

If one is giving and the other is not, that is when marriages become miserable. How do you make the other person give? You can't. If they don't want to give anymore it is over. The love has died, and you probably should get marriage counseling or separate for a season. 

Nothing lasts forever. To all you who try hard to keep your love alive, good job and keep up the good work. I pray you all get to stay with whoever you are with until you die, if you want to. 

Lastly if you ever consider divorce, remember what Jesus said about the topic: 

Mark 10 2-11

2 Some Pharisees came and tested Jesus by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.

4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

That is quite serious. Technically I have not remarried. I have only been married one time. But I am acting married so basically I am remarried. 

Jesus says in another place in the case of sexual immorality the spouse is not bound. My ex looked at porn excessively when we were married. I considered that sexual immorality. Therefore I was free from the marriage. 

What is funny is one time he asked if I was looking at porn because then he had grounds to divorce me. I never did. I think he just never want to be married to me. Oh well. 

Marriage is never easy. If you can stay married for 60 years, you will probably deserve a gold medal.

Talk More

In your relationship, make sure your mate knows what you need and when you need it. Don't expect them to read your mind. No one can do that.  

When I was little, I was very shy. I hated having to talk in front of the class for presentations. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to keep to myself. Then I had to go to counseling due to my dad molesting me. I had to talk for an hour each time about how I felt. That probably led to me wanting to write. 

I had a few friends that I would talk to a lot. My friend Nicole called me every night to talk. My friend Ashley and I hung out after school every day until my mom got off work. In college I didn't have much time to be social. I had a few good friends in the choir I was in. That was nice. 

I always had jobs in customer service, so I had one or two great friends at each job. I liked talking with my exes sometimes. Mostly in the car though, we just listened to music. At home we would just watch movies. I'm guessing that's how things are for most of you out there. I bet you get tired of not talking don't you? Movies, TV, music....our phone, we all have forgotten how to talk to real people. It is quite sad. I think most of us think what's the point of talking a lot? If you do, you might say or hear things you didn't want to hear. We would rather watch drama in movies then hear about drama in other people's lives. 

I encourage you all to talk more with your mate or best friend or mom or whoever you are the closest to. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing. Just talk and enjoy talking with them.

Mom and Dad Advice

Haha this is so funny. I searched Mom Advice on YouTube. I am watching, "15 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having a Baby." She is saying how women get more stinky after having a baby. That is because it is hard to find time to shower. You feel like you have to be right next your baby 24/7. Here is the solution. Have them watch Blippi so you can shower every day. And get some wonderfully scented lotions to smell better. It might be the stress of caring for a child, so you sweat more. Also physically it is a lot of work so that makes you sweat more. 

My baby boy is 6 months old now. He is my third child. I figured I would be totally fine since he is my third. Every baby is different though. It hasn't been completely easy. My boy is an Aries sign, but he is great. I love him very much!

One thing she says is babies just cry sometimes for no reason. No there is always a reason. It usually is that they need to burp. They really hate it when they need to burp. Bounce them on your knee and it will work for them to burp. Just bounce them with a medium force. No need to scare them to get the burp out. 🙂

Communicate with your baby. They understand a ton more than you realize. The more you talk to them, the more language they will learn and understand. 

If you want to lose weight, go out for a walk with the stroller instead of eating another snack. Exercise helps curb your appetite, because your body turns off your metabolism when exercising. And eat healthy of course. Stick with mainly salads and smoothies all day, and Dove dark chocolate sometimes. 😁

Feeding. Offer your baby a bottle once every hour. Let them drink as much or as little as they want. Try to not get annoyed if they won't drink more. They will most likely drink a full bottle at nap time and that should be enough. Babies resist drinking at times to prevent getting tired. They want to stay awake and hang out with you. Take it as a compliment. 😊

For night time, try hard to get them to hold their own bottle quickly. Then you can just hand them a bottle at night when they cry. Then they can drink it all hopefully so they will go back to sleep. After you give them the bottle, just go back to sleep. That is how you can keep yourself from getting sleep deprived. When they nap during the day, try very hard to sleep too. Even if you aren't tired, lay down and try sleeping. 

Socks. They fall off a lot if you get the short ones. Get knee high socks for your baby. They are a lot less likely to fall off. The footie PJ's can cramp the baby's feet. I don't recommend them. 

Sing to your baby often. I have nap time at 11 and 2pm every day. Bed time is at 7pm. I sing to my boy and rock him to get him to sleep. I think it's best to make sure they are asleep before leaving them alone. Some moms leave the baby in the room for a nap without them being totally sleep. It's better if you fully put them to sleep by rocking them and then leave alone to nap. 

Don't worry about your baby learning to crawl. It's not terrible if they never crawl. If they are walking around age 1 that is good enough. It is good to have tummy time. I would say on a blow up mattress is best so it doesn't make them throw up or hurt their stomach. 

Hug your baby a lot. They need a lot of physical touch. It will make you and them more happy the more that you hug them. I wonder if post pardum depression could be cured if moms would just hug their baby more. 😁

But paste. Every time they poop, use but paste. Some are better than others. Make sure you always put that on after a poop. Change their diaper every time they pee. Some diapers say they last 12 hours. No, change them at least once every hour. At night change them every time you give them a bottle. If you have them in a bassinet, you can change them in the bassinet rather than moving them to a changing table. 

Get a stroller and walk them around inside. If the weather sucks outside, just do a walk inside. You need it for good exercise and it makes the baby tired, which is nice for nap times and bed time. 

Show them worship music and sermons on YouTube, if you like church. Worship music can help in making them more sleepy for nap time. Why not help them learn about God from the time they are born too. That is great! I fell asleep to worship music as a little kid, and I still remember the songs my parents would play. 

Have fun caring for your baby and good job fellow moms! 

Look up "For the Children of the World" by Amy Grant. It's a very inspirational song. 😃

Bad Moms

 This movie was hilarious. It wasn't so much about moms being bad, but finally trying to have some fun. They finally let themselves enjoy their life. The mom life is very serious. You have to be on point 24/7. You feel like you need to be the best version of yourself all the time and you can't just relax. You are constantly giving and don't often get much in return. I am lucky that my lover at least gets me take out for lunch every day. Most moms don't get that. They are just slaves essentially and no one ever says thank you for all they do. No one even notices all that they do. Maybe everyone else is like, "Well you wanted that child so good luck." More people should tell moms good job and thank you. That would be nice. The problem also is that most moms don't accept a good job gesture when they can. Moms, go buy yourself something fun once a week. Ask your man to go get you your favorite food each day. That is a great reward for all you do. Thank you Zach for doing that for me. :)

One thing I noticed about the movie was how each mom had a different number of kids. The red haired lady with one son seemed the most free. But maybe she was a bit sad that she only had one kid. The blond woman with 4 kids was frazzled and overwhelmed. She felt like a slave probably. Her husband treated her like a slave. The character of Mila Kunis was stressed out. Her husband didn't respect her, clearly since he was having an affair online. But with two kids maybe she didn't have time to be intimate with him, so that was what caused the affair. Not that it's ever excusable for men to do that, but one can see why if his woman neglects his needs. 

It was a great movie. The PTA boss lady was pretty scary. That is a good reason for me to stick with private school for my son. I don't want to deal with the hierarchy of public schools and the drama. I suppose anywhere you go there can be drama, but I would think it would be less at private schools. I worked at a private school for a year, and it was like a utopia, for the most part. I loved it. 

May God bless all you fellow mom. Thank you for all you do and good job! Sorry on behalf of everyone who never says thank you and good job to you. You are doing great! :)

Rich Women

 Rich women turn a blind eye when their man cheats. They don't want to rock the boat. They want to keep enjoying the money their man has. They don't want to get abused physically. 

But ladies, if you don't give your man sex, he will go somewhere else to get it. 😟

Women can go a year without sex and pretty much not care at all. Men have to have sex once a week. It is the main way they de-stress. Women can just have a hug to de-stress. Men have to have sex. It is just how God made them. 

The exception is when men drink a ton or do drugs. Then they don't care about sex as much. 

I find it very sad when women neglect their man sexually. It may not be a need for you, but it is for him. You want him to talk to you right? That is your need. He needs regular sex in order to enjoy talking to you. 

"In the home where the bed shakes often, there is peace." 😁

And ladies, use the pull out method if you don't want to get pregnant. It works. Your man is still happy and so are you, for avoiding another pregnancy. 😃

Regarding Wife Abuse

1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Most women who are feminists focus on Paul calling women weaker. But we are weaker. It is good to admit that. Physically most women cannot lift super heavy things like men can. 

This verse is especially complimentary to women I feel because Paul says a husband's prayers can be hindered if he is not understanding with his wife. What does that mean? It almost seems like he can lose his connection with God completely if he mistreats his wife. That is very serious. 

Husbands, be kind to your wife. It almost seems like your salvation depends on it. Take that seriously. 

I have a story to tell in regards to this topic. I had an ex who thought I put his cat outside and almost choked me over it. His cat was just hiding on the bathroom window inside. He put his hand on my throat but then walked away. I started shaking and called 911. He went to jail over it, got a misdemeanor of family violence and we broke up after that. 

Women don't let your man hurt you in any way. Stand up for yourself. It is never ok for a man to physically hurt a woman. 

I have another sad story to tell. My ex husband accused me repeatedly for almost a year of cheating on him. I never did, so it was like mental abuse that he was inflicting on me. As a result, I prayed for God to kill him. The craziest part of this story is that he almost did die that night. He said an SUV pulled up to him while he was dropping gas from his truck at a gas station. Someone pointed something at him. It may have been a gun, but he didn't know for sure. He ran behind his truck, and they drove away. When he told me that story, I was amazed. God almost instantly was wanting to answer my prayer. I think that event was meant to be a wake up call for both of us. For me, to watch what I pray for, because it might actually happen. And to him, to be careful to be nice to me so I would never pray for that again. I told him a month after that that I had prayed for him to be killed. 

Men, don't make your wife pray for you to die, or for anything bad to happen to you. Because her prayers might actually happen. 

Jada and Will Smith

 I have known about this couple for what feels like 30 years. I started listening to Will Smith's music when I was about 10. I watched most of the Fresh Prince episodes. I remember hearing Will's songs about Jada. It is interesting she says in her interview on the Jay Shetty show that they didn't really have a honeymoon period, because he was going through a divorce when they met. How sad. Why did Will's first marriage not work out? Maybe he had too much of an ego. That is very possible. Maybe he beat her. Maybe she cheated, maybe he did, who knows. 

Then he met Jada and they had more kids. They seemed like a happy couple. Was Will faithful to Jada? Probably not. Is anyone faithful for long in Hollywood? No. There is too much temptation when working on films with other people. I remember seeing all his movies and thinking, "Oh how does Jada feel about him acting with that woman and that kiss....Oh...?" It must be hard being married and being in movies, both for the person trying to stay faithful and for the other spouse. 

How I understand what happened to them is that Will cheated, who knows how many times. Then they separated. Then Jada felt depressed and a bit suicidal. Then she hooked up with whoever people knew she hooked up with. I'm sure she did so to find relief from the pain of Will cheating on her. It is very hard when you get cheated on because you start to feel worthless. You have to put yourself out there and meet other people who can affirm your worth and beauty. Was she wrong to move on from Will? No, especially not if he cheated. They reunited at some point. I don't think they should have, but that was their decision. 

Anyways, I hope they are kind to each other now. I hope they can forgive each other for any past hurts and maintain a happy home for their kids. I hope they will both find God. They both mention "the universe" in interviews and I find that to be very sad. It is not "the universe" that blessed them with popularity and wealth. It is God, Yaweh. :) 

 Jada, if you are being abused physically I recommend you go stay in another house. It is perfectly ok for you to protect yourself. No woman deserves to get hit, no matter what you did or said. Keep yourself safe. 

May God bless the Smith family a lot. I love you all!

Azusa Street Revival

 I just watched a video about this event. I have always wondered if it was real or not, if it was God working or Satan working in people there. I was almost going to go to Azusa University in CA, but I picked Biola instead. I am glad I did. I may have learned some false teaching at the Azusa college, or maybe not. 

This event lasted over 3 years and it was led by a former slave. It is possible he had a lot of humility and that is why God used him. I am always skeptical of things like this though. 

These things are tricky because Satan easily attacks when people seek supernatural experiences too much. Satan might have said to all of them, "Yeah I'll give you a supernatural experience." People falling or shaking or even tongues isn't always of God. You have to test the spirits. It is hard in the moment to test the spirits. If you truly know God, you will know what is from him and what isn't. You will have a peace in your spirit about anything supernatural if it's of God. If you feel unsure about it, be careful and proceed with caution. Don't just go running into a spiritual storm, it could be called. Angels and demons and people shaking. Just be careful of "revivals" like this one. 

That is how my ex went crazy, lack of discernment in things like that. That was the main reason. He got into Charismania too much. He opened himself up too much to too many things. Hopefully he is wiser now and more cautious with such things. 

The Bible says guard your heart. You need to do that with people and for sure with spiritual entities. Don't just let any spirit in. There is no get rich quick scheme, and there is no get close to God quick scheme either. You have to walk it out, study the word, pray constantly. Getting closer to God comes mainly from gradual intense growth. Growing with God is like a cross country race, not a sprint. For some it might be a sprint but easy in, easy out right? If you easily get close to God and it takes little effort, how easy is it to lose that and fall away? It might feel like just some fun thing you did once and that is all it is for some. 

Seek God more than supernatural things in general. The whole world seeks after supernatural things, hence horror movies. Seeking after God is different. Hopefully you always will see the difference. 

Let it Rain Speech

 Here is the Let it Rain speech by Michael W. Smith from his concert 4 months ago. 

"Oh God we are a desperate people. We see nations torn apart. We see families broken. We see the wasteland of lost souls. Heavy hearts fainting with fear. This dry ground is breaking under our feet. These dry bones waiting for the winds to change. But you see your people and you hear our cries in this dry and weary land where there is no water. Our strength is in remembering our power is in returning. So tonight we return to you. Bring us back to truth as you did in the Reformation. Sweep through every small town and city as you did in the Great Awakening. Shake the nations like you shook the people of Whales. May our churches fall on their faces in repentance. For that time of refreshing will come. Oh God Christ Jesus be lifted up in our schools, in our work places and our churches. Oh God let it rain."

Lost

 Wandering around

Lost with no idea of where to go

This is how most people are

No idea how to get out

And be free

Forever confused

Without guidance

Ask God to lead you

He can be a light to your path

And lead you in the ways of life

Phases of a Relationship

 I think every relationship has many different phases. Some people hate each other, some tolerate each other, others have at least an admiration for each other, others have a crush on each other and others are madly in love. Usually the madly in love phase only lasts the first month of being together. Then it simmers down to a crush and eventually you hate each other, but not always. It depends on what you do and don't do to each other. Be wise with your words and actions. Always show respect for each other. If you ever disrespect your mate, that kills the love a little bit. 

I hope you all at least have a crush on the one you are with. :)

The End of the World

 "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." Mt. 24:33-35

Does the attack on Israel mean it's the end? Not necessarily. God keeps telling me he wants me to live till 60 so it can't be the end of the world yet. But he could change his mind.

 That first verse is yet to happen. Not many Christians have been put to death for their faith yet. 

Either way, stand firm to the end. God loves you! 

Dating for a Religion

 I suppose in most of my relationships I have picked the guy based on religion. My first serious boyfriend was like half Christian. He was a bit worldly. I figured his non-denominational upbringing didn't do much to make him a holy, on fire follower of God. So then my next man, my ex husband, was kind of Pentecostal. Perhaps I figured another branch of Christianity might produce a better man who was nicer and more into his faith. A man who was really a good man. He was an ok man. :) I learned he was a bit more on fire, but I was still disappointed. He wasn't as devoted to God as I wanted him to be. It was an ongoing battle to feel like we were growing at the same rate with God. He had to work a lot, so I think he started to worship money more than God. I'm sure he wanted tons of free money so he wouldn't have to work a lot anymore. 

Then my next bf was raised Baptist like me. It was nice that we seemed to be the same in our faith. I was quite done with Charismatic worship and the mentality of those people. I was so happy to be with a guy who was raised like I was. Then I found out he was gay for a time, so I figured his Baptist childhood was not enough to make him a committed Christian. So then my next man was Jewish. I was thinking maybe the Jewish people produce more religious and good sons. But he formerly had a cocaine addiction, so I figured being with a Jew wasn't the solution. 

So this time I found a Baptist guy again. I think overall the Baptists are the best at producing good people. It might be their strict teachings. It might be that they focus on memorizing the Bible and really knowing what you believe. 

I hope you feel in sync in regards to religion with whoever you are with. If you are, that is a great blessing. 

The Oedipus Complex

 Why is there the expression momma's boy or daddy's girl? Because that is often how it is. Lots of men mess up their marriages by being more loyal to their mom than their wife. Women mess up their marriages by being more loyal to their dad than their husbands. 

The Oedipus complex says that every man wants to kill his father and marry his mother. Why is this a thing? It is common law of psychology. Perhaps because a man loves his mom's cooking more than his woman's. Maybe a woman likes that her dad is more rich than her husband. 

I just watched a great movie, "Love, Marriage and Divorce." In that the newly married woman tries to take care of her dad, who might divorce her mom, but then neglects her new husband. This is very common. 

In my former marriage, my ex always took his mom's side. She was on a pedestal in his eyes, and I was like nothing compared to her. I never could understand it. I remember my step-dad said he knew why my ex's first marriage didn't work, because of his mom. He probably was the same with his first wife. His loyalty was to his mom instead of to her. We had a talk once about how he wanted me to like his parents more, or act like I liked them more. I said, "Ok I can like them but I'm not going to worship them." My ex worshipped their money really, more than he did them. They thought he cared a lot about them. He did, but it was mostly their money that he was in love with. 

If your parents are rich, who cares? That doesn't mean you should love them more than your mate. Be more loyal to your mate than your parents. That is how life should be. 

Your Words Have Power

 Be very careful what you say. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. I said to my ex once, "I feel like you all would just be better off without me." I wasn't talking about suicide. I just wanted to live alone for awhile, and I did, for a good 4 years. I needed my space from all the drama.

 My ex was a drama king. He loved starting stuff for no reason. I guess it helped him to not get too bored. He entertained himself with non stop drama in his mind and with everyone around him. 

There was an ongoing feud between us. He kept accusing me of cheating, and I kept getting mad he was accusing me when I wasn't. My oldest daughter was a challenge. My youngest daughter I was very close with. I miss her at times. 

For many reasons I felt like a bad wife and a bad mom. I kept fighting with my ex and losing my patience with my daughters. Raising kids is hard for anyone. 

Hopefully I'll do a better job this time with my new better man and my child. 

Sorry to the Bedricks

I'm sorry for being difficult so that we could not co-parent the girls together. Maybe one day we can handle that. I'm sorry for being overly religious, as you may think I am. I'm sorry for looking down on you all because you were not like me. I'm sorry for rejecting Ben, even though it seemed perfectly logical to reject him considering that he threatened to hurt me. 

I wish you all well. I hope you will be happy always and healthy and always get along with each other. Thank you for taking good care of Ben and the girls. 

You Will be Ok

 Here is the best song ever by Jenn Johnson: 

"I know it’s all you’ve got to

Just be strong

And it’s a fight just to

Keep it together 

I know you think that you are

Too far gone

But hope is never lost

Hope is never lost

Hold on don’t let go

Hold on don’t let go

Just take one step closer

Put one foot in front of the other

You’ll get through this

Just follow the light

In the darkness

You’re gonna be ok" :)

This song meant so much to me when I first heard it. It could be said mainly this song got me through the time of losing my first family. Not because of drugs like some women. Because my ex went bat sh....crazy on me. But hey life happens. 

I hope you have a happy life and that the happy times never end for you. I am finally in a good and safe place, praise God. If you are in a hard storm right now, know it will be over soon. God is with you and he cares for you and what you are going through. 

 "God is near to the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." 

Addiction

 You want to fly free

But you feel a chain holding you down

So you are stuck in one place 

You don't want to need that thing

But you keep running back to it

"As a dog returns to his vomit"

The Bible says

You stick with that dangerous thing 

Why? 

Maybe we enjoy hurting ourselves 

We know it hurts our body 

But we don't care 

We like the suffering 

Let yourself be free 

Learn to treat yourself well

Be more gentle with your body 

It is the only body you will ever get 

You Can Quit Smoking

Are you tired of feeling sick? You should quit smoking, if you smoke. 

There was a man in the Bible that Jesus asked, "Do you want to get well?" I think God wants to ask us that question every hour of every day. Do you want to get well? Do you like being sick? Or do you want to finally get better? For myself, I am going to try switching from coffee to green tea and chai tea. I do want to get well. I'm tired of coffee hurting my stomach. So a switch is needed. Maybe you smoke and it is hurting you. Is it time to quit? Here are verses that will help you in quitting any addiction that you have:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

We live to serve God, not him living to serve us. We were given our body as a gift from him. We are supposed to be good stewards of it. So be careful in how you care for your body. 

1 Corinthians 3:17, "If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple." So if you destroy yourself, God will destroy you. What does that mean? Simply that he won't stop you from hurting yourself. Be careful to take good care of yourself, so that God will want to take good care of you too. 

1 Corinthians 6:12 says, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything." If any substance masters you, that is not good. You have the freedom in Jesus to do anything you want to, but some things should not be done. 

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." If you believe you can, then you can. God will help you. Just believe that God will give you the victory and he will. And look up the song Victory by Yolanda Adams. It will encourage you. :)

Happy Songs

 Here are the happiest songs ever written...

"Whatever is noble, excellent, praise worthy, think about these things..." 😁

Justin Bieber- Love Me

Martina McBride- Happy Girl 

Chris Janson- Buy Me a Boat 

Aaron Cole- Right on Time

Aaron Cole- More Like You

Elevation Worship- Praise 

Walker Hayes- Fancy Like 

Justin Bieber- Lifetime 

Dixie Chicks- Cowboy Take Me Away

Chris Tomlin- Thank You Lord 

Flame- Start Over

Danny Gokey- If You Ain't In It 

Hillsong- Alive 

Gawvi- Fight For Me 

Jason Mraz- I Won't Give Up 

Phil Wickham- House of the Lord 

If you listen to any of those, your day will be a lot better. 😃

Death

 The inevitable end for all of us 

The final black curtain 

When our play of life finally comes to a close

And we sleep forever 

Do we go to heaven right away? 

Or does our soul linger on earth? 

What will it be like to pass on? 

I have never feared death 

I know where my soul will be 

Up with my friend Jesus my Savior 

And we will talk eternally 

As we stroll down the streets of gold 

City of Angels

 20 years I have wanted to see this movie. I just had Netflix for a long time though and it wasn't on there. It is free on YouTube now yay! 

The ending is so sad. The woman dies right after they finally hook up. So many super romantic movies are like that. Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember, Nights in Rodanthe, Marley and Me..... Well it's the dog that dies in that one. But it still made we weep like crazy. 

Death is a hard thing to watch or think about. I was so mad in watching Message in a Bottle that they had the guy die at the end. This movie's sad ending made me mad too. Why....I guess some movies are like that maybe to prepare us for things like that happening. No one lives forever. Death is just a part of life. 

There was a poem I memorized in college for my poetry class. It was titled Spring and Fall. A child is looking at the leaves falling off a tree and crying. A man tells her she is not crying over the tree dying but that she will die someday. We all will die. Everyone we know will die. That is just the way life goes. 

It helps to accept the fact of death, to not be scared of it. Maturity is realizing that it is inevitable and knowing we will have to let everyone go eventually. 

I think no one is really mature until they experience a tragic death. Then it's like you wake up. You see how delicate life is. You realize you may not have much time left. You start to think of all the things you wish to do before you die, and then you finally start to do those things. Like the song "Live Like You Were Dying." 😃

Do all the things you have always wanted to do. You never know if tomorrow is your last day to live. 😬😟