In the movie "A Good Mother" the mom is talking to her grandma. She said she divorced her ex because they weren't making each other happy. The grandma said, "Happy...yes there were 10 years where I woke up wishing I had died the night before." "What fixed it?" "My next baby girl."
Most marriages aren't that terrible but some are.
Does your mate keep you happy? If they don't maybe you want too much from them. Maybe you expect to be spoiled. If you want them to spoil you, do you spoil them? Do you try hard to keep them happy?
Marriage is work. It requires self-control. It takes giving up sleep at times to fill their needs. It takes not eating all the food in the house so they have food too.
It's all about the little things. Every evening for 1.5 years now I have sent my man an encouraging text when he is working. I think that has helped keep us together. You have to show you care for each other, in some way. He gets me take out every day for lunch from anywhere I want it from. Both people need to give in some way.
If one is giving and the other is not, that is when marriages become miserable. How do you make the other person give? You can't. If they don't want to give anymore it is over. The love has died, and you probably should get marriage counseling or separate for a season.
Nothing lasts forever. To all you who try hard to keep your love alive, good job and keep up the good work. I pray you all get to stay with whoever you are with until you die, if you want to.
Lastly if you ever consider divorce, remember what Jesus said about the topic:
Mark 10 2-11
2 Some Pharisees came and tested Jesus by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
That is quite serious. Technically I have not remarried. I have only been married one time. But I am acting married so basically I am remarried.
Jesus says in another place in the case of sexual immorality the spouse is not bound. My ex looked at porn excessively when we were married. I considered that sexual immorality. Therefore I was free from the marriage.
What is funny is one time he asked if I was looking at porn because then he had grounds to divorce me. I never did. I think he just never want to be married to me. Oh well.
Marriage is never easy. If you can stay married for 60 years, you will probably deserve a gold medal.
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