Things to "Quit"

Wow I can relate to a lot of these.  So I thought I'd blog about them. :) 

Quit Doubting Yourself

Yes I doubt myself, many times; in jobs, in relationships etc.  I wonder if I have what it takes to succeed.  Will I make a mark on the world as was my goal in high school?  Will I really make a difference like I hope to?  Will my life have meaning?  Of course I know usually any self-doubt is from Satan.  So I try to counter act these doubtful thoughts with scripture that says "we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus."  And "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Quit Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is so easy to do isn't it?  They say it is so much easier to say something bad about something than something good.  Why is this?  Because our sin nature is negative.  We are by nature very negative people.  It is God's Holy Spirit alone in us that can finally make us relatively thankful, content and happy people.  Paul says, "Do everything without complaining and arguing."  This is a skill indeed to do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing, or at least wanting to argue lol. :)  But what does complaining say to God?  It says that we are not grateful for all He has given us, as we should be. 

However, there is a certain amount of discontent that we will always have with the world because this is not our final home.  Like a Switchfoot song says, "I don't belong here."  We don't, really.  Satan is the ruler of this world, and that is apparent everywhere.  Until we are heaven we will not be fully content or fully happy. 

Quit a Fear of Failure

Often times many people don't ever do anything because of a fear of failure.  I recently took a trip to Australia, and I know many thought my trip would be or might be a failure.  Which it's all a matter of perspective really; yes my time there was short, but I had a great time while I was there. :)  Failure is possible in any avenue of life.  In relationships are the most frequent type of failure we experience.  But what does God call us to do after we fall?  Get back up again, brush ourselves off and try again.  Don't give up on everything just because one thing didn't work.  Failure happens, but successes happen to, eventually.  :)

Quit Destructive Relationships

I love the phrase "It is better to be in no relationship than in a bad one."  Amen to that.  And there are many people in bad relationships that stay in them because they feel it's better than being single.  It's not.  No one deserves to be abused etc.  Have some self-respect and only stay around people that treat you well.  If they don't then move on.  It's as simple as that.  Or at least it should be, in theory anyways. 

Quit Gossiping

What do people usually talk about?  Other people right.  I have asked the question of others many times when does something qualify as gossip?  It is most likely when you say something to someone else that taints their view of that other person.  That is what the Bible calls slander.  A lot of people in relationships have this problem.  As soon as there is a fight they call all their friends to talk about the person they in a relationship with.  Depending on the context, this can just breed more problems for the relationship.  It is good to get counsel but it's also key to not put people you love down when talking about them. 

Quit Criticizing Yourself and Others

Perfectionism.  Perfectionists are very self-critical.  I am at times quite the perfectionist.  I like things to be clean etc lol.  I like things to go as planned.  I am my own worst critic.  I generally have very high expectations for myself.  This self-criticism can sometimes spill over into criticising others because it becomes a habit to critique in general.  To an extent it's good, in that we would all be total slobs if we were not somewhat critical of ourselves.  But everything in moderation.  Some self-criticism spurs us on to be a good/better person, but too much is really just self-defeating. 

Quit Getting Angry

A friend in high school once told me all anger is actually just hurt in disguise.  Which if you really think about it, it is.  We get angry when we get our feelings hurt.  We could either cry about it, which would be the more healthy thing to do, but because most of us don't want to feel like a pansy by crying, we resort to anger.  Often times women will say they had a good cry.  Crying really does feel good, because it doesn't hurt anyone in the process.  It just gives you sore eyes for the rest of the day lol.  But anger DOES hurt others, a lot.  Anger makes people very stupid.  I have done some pretty stupid things when angry, and I have wanted to do many other stupid things when angry. 

Anger also comes when our expectations are not met.  We expect something and when that thing doesn't happen, we get angry.  It would be better to just not have expectations really, but that would be nearly impossible, so my advice to you is the next time you feel like exploding, try crying instead. :) It's probably what your body really needs to do anyways.  God gave us the gift of crying for a reason.  Did you know, that toxic chemicals are actually released from our body when we cry?  So go cry about something! lol You just might feel better after wards.  You probably will. :) 
 
Quit Comfort Eating

Ah....comfort eating lol.  Many, many struggle with this, and it's certainly not just women.  I have seen many guys "comfort eat" as well.  Why do we do this?  Well sometimes food does actually make us feel better, like if you are genuinely hungry.  God did give us the gift of food to help us feel happy, and ice cream certainly does that for me! lol  The problem comes when we abuse this gift of food and eat in excess.  All things in moderation yes?  So I suppose comfort eating can be eating past the point of being full.  I haven't really done this on many occasions.  I usually resort to doing this, writing, or listening to music when I feel down, but many turn to food instead.  lol when I get full my body pretty much says to me, "If you take another bite I will throw up."  So I stop lol :)  Comfort eating is going beyond this to a point of hurting one's body.  Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, therefore we are to take good care of it.  That means, only eating when hungry.  My mom was a very good model for me growing up of healthy eating and eating in moderation.  We are both big on snacking, which I have heard is actually the best way to eat.  We were meant to graze lightly really like cows graze on grass all day.  But for the sake of convenience and having to work most people have to have three huge meals every day.  Small, frequent meals are much better. :) lol and that is my dieting advice for anyone interested.  :)  Just eat less but more often, and you will probably feel much better in general.  Yep. :) 

Quit Laziness

Laziness is very hard to avoid, especially with TV.  I have never been a fan of TV because I feel like so much time has been wasted every time I watch it for long periods of time.  I feel like I could have been doing something better with my time.  Laziness is most evident is the cleanliness of one's house, really.  The outside reflects the inside.  Laziness of mind results in a messy environment etc.  Most people think of sleeping too much as being lazy, but on the contrary, there are many people that "sleep walk" through life because they do not get enough actual sleep.  We all need somewhere from 8 to 9 hours of sleep every night.  If we don't get this, we will most likely be more lazy for lack of energy.  God gave us the gift of sleep for a reason.  At church one time the pastor said, "Go take a nap for Jesus today!"  So yes, take a nap, and you will probably feel more energized to get things done. :) 

Quit Negative Self Talk

We talk to ourselves all day long, do we not?  lol At least I know I do.  I always have a million thoughts running through my mind, thus why I love to write.  But wherever you go, there you are yes?  Meaning you cannot escape yourself.  You should be your own best friend, in theory anyways.  But often times we have a war going on inside our minds.  Like in movies where there is an angel sitting on one shoulder and a devil sitting on the other, we often have two competing voices talking to us.  Paul refers to this as the spirit and the flesh.  The flesh is the negative side; the side that says, "You're not attractive enough." "You will never accomplish anything." "What are you doing with your life anyways?"  And the positive good side tries to counter act that but sometimes the negative side is so much louder and stronger.  I love how Joyce Meyer said in one of her sermons, "Some of us need to take ourselves over in a corner sometimes and talk to ourselves!"  And that is so true.  The mind can be like an unruly child that needs to be put on time out sometimes.  Taking naps is a good way to put your mind on a time out. :)  And writing is a good way to think about what we are thinking about.  So often people don't think about what they are thinking about.  It is a good practice to do so, and in so doing you can begin to alter your own self thoughts.  It is a discipline; self-control.  Like Romans 12 says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."  This is a process.  It does not happen over night, but it can happen.  So try writing and changing the way you think that way. :)  It has helped me a lot, for the most part. :) 
 
Procrastination

I hate procrastination.  I hated it when I used to do it.  It is very true that the more you put something off the bigger of a problem it becomes.  Ok I still procrastinate, on things like oil changes lol.  Often we procrastinate as a passive aggressive move.  We know we should do something, but we don't really want to, so we put it off.  It is a kind of defiance against the thing that we do not want to do.  Paying bills can have this effect, until we get a bad hit on our credit for being late on something, then that might motivate us to do things more on time.:)  Procrastination can be very dangerous.  It is a form of laziness to be sure.  It is a form of just being stubborn.  Don't procrastinate.  Do whatever it is that you needed to do.  Just get it over with and it won't seem so bad.  lol I remember jumping off the high dive when I was in junior high at the pool.  The longer you stand up there at the top, the harder it is to jump off!  You really just need to climb super fast up the ladder and run off the board as soon as you get up there.  Then it all seems like a piece of cake.  This is like life.  So often we inch across the board and the slower we go, the more scary everything seems.  I think of this regarding long courtships before people get married.  I have never understood being engaged for a long time before getting married.  Just get married!  Jump off the high dive man.  Lol because the slower you go, the scarier it all seems.  Hamlet in his to be or not to be speech says, "Thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied over with the pale cast of thought."  Meaning, the more we think about something the more our thinking makes the original bright idea become pale.  It looses drive and momentum the more we think about something.  So stop thinking and just do it!  Like Nike says lol whatever IT is for you.  :)  Stop procrastinating.  And God will bless your diligence! :)

Quit the Fear of Success, Maybe :)

This is actually the one I am most guilty of.  For some reason I have a fear of being rich and successful, well that is because Jesus said the thing about the camel lol.  But in many instances throughout my life I seem to have self-sabotaged things.  I'm not sure if it's because at the root of it all I feel I don't deserve to be happy.  Logically I know I do.  But I think at my core perhaps I do not think I do.  Something to think about I suppose.  I know this is a huge lie from Satan but I have believed it and caved into the self-defeat several times.  I was an amazing basketball player in high school.  I could make more shots than most in practices, but whenever it got to the games I would choke.  And I wrote great speeches for the MUN club I was in, but when conferences came I rarely got up to speak and share them.  Granted public speaking is the number one public fear, but I still think it came from my fear of success. 

But perhaps I fear success because success can make people prideful and I fear becoming prideful, as I should, I think.  Being rich, or scoring the most points in a game, or having the best speech, or singing the best song, can very much puff someone up.  So the self-sabotaging could be my own attempts to ward against pride.  That is quite possible. 

Does God want us to be successful?  This is a good question.  In things related to His kingdom, yes.  But in things related to this world, maybe not.  1 John says, "Do not love the world or anything in the world."  If we were successful in this world wouldn't that make it harder to not love the world?  Perhaps this is why I have not, of my own will, or God has prevented me, from having too much success career wise or in relationships etc, because that keeps me running to Him.  He is a jealous God, and he wants us to draw our fulfillment from Him primarily, first and foremost.  So perhaps a fear of success isn't such a bad thing really.  Who knows. :)  Perhaps it IS success we should actually be afraid of.  Jesus said, "Beware when all men speak well of you."  Meaning we are not meant to be popular in this world.  This is not our home.  I am still unsure on this topic as a whole. 

Quit Doing Anything Excessively

This has been so key to me and what I consider to be the third most important commandment lol.  First we are to love God with our whole heart, mind, body and soul.  Secondly we are to love others.  And third I think we need to avoid doing anything in excess.  This really ties into the first commandment because anything we do in excess can easily become an idol.  It also can easily prevent us from loving others.  Addictions.  Paul says, "Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything."  Does anything master you?  Most people would say, of course not!  But really think about it.  Go through everything in your life.  If God called you to fast from each thing in your life for 30 days, could you do it?  If the answer is no, it may be an idol. 

Quit Trying to Please People

People pleasing is dangerous and very frustrating.  I know because I have tried it on many occasions lol.  It is frustrating because people can never really be pleased, permanently at least.  Think about it, has anyone you have ever known been perfectly happy with you?  Of course not!  Because that would be impossible.  People have expectations and conflicting interests etc.  That is part of life.  I heard a statistic once that 10% of the population will not like you no matter what you do.  Funny isn't it.  I have personally found solace in understanding various temperaments and personalities and therefore knowing my personality just doesn't mesh with certain others.  I have come to be ok with that. :) But many people let this really get to them if everyone doesn't like them.  Why worry about it?  If you can't change it, forget about it right?  Like the serenity prayer may God give us the ability to change the things we can but accept the things we cannot.  If people do not like us, move on to those who do.  It is futile to bend over backward for someone to make them like you when they may never like you lol.  Like when Jesus sent out the disciples to various towns to witness and drive out demons, he said, "If any town does not receive you, shake the dust off your sandals as you leave."  Meaning don't let it affect you.  Move on.  Shake it off.  Not everyone will like you, so what?  It is a fact of life.  But we pick ourselves up and try again with new people. :) 

God did that.  He tried and tried with the Israelites for how long?  A very, very, very long time lol.  But then what did He do?  Romans talks about how He cut off the old branches and ingrafted the new ones.  He cut off some of His people, the Jews, and grafted us in, the Gentiles.  And praise God that he moved on from people that chose to not like Him!  Because that opened up for salvation for all of us common Gentile folk lol.  So if anyone doesn't like you, move on and try someone else.  God created a lot of people for a reason.  So go find people that like you as you already are, and let go of trying to please the ones that do not because it will probably never work. :)  This is true wisdom lol. 

I am renaming the last one; Quit Not Having Good Boundaries with Others

Boundaries are related to our ability to say No to others.  Often people try and do too much.  Their lives look like the magic act where the guy has like 20 plates spinning at the same time.  We run and hurry and rush and try to be everywhere at one time.  And what is the result?  Anxiety, depression, exhaustion.  What if we just said "No."  Sometimes this may mean we loose friends etc. but I love the phrase by Dr. Seuss, "Those who matter won't mind and those mind don't matter."  So say no when you need to so that you can really say yes.  You can't really say yes if you can't say no right?  Think about it.  Does your yes mean much if you are just saying yes out of compulsion or guilt?  No.  Not having boundaries is not being honest with yourself and others.  If we were totally honest with ourselves and others, how would our lives look differently?  Would we do all the things we do?  If not, then why do we do them?  Think about it.  And say No when you need to.  You will most likely have a lot more peace if you do.  :)  May God bless you! :)