Nun Life

 When I was little I literally wanted to grow up and become a nun, which is basically what I am now. I wanted to serve God 24/7 and never worry about marriage and family. I think it was because I loved the movie The Sound of Music. I was always thinking she should have stayed a nun rather then fall in love with the guy in the movie. Love makes things so messy and complicating and heartbreaking. I feel like a nun because I don't have a man and I mostly don't want a man. I think God keeps sending me female friends with stories of their horrible love lives so I won't miss that life one bit. Looking back, I was never truly happy with any guy I have been with. With one guy I literally would sit in my car for an hour after work most days because I didn't want to go home and be around him. I was deeply in love with my last bf but it was chaotic and crazy half the time. He always thought he was better then me because he was Jewish so he was "the chosen race." I was always just like whatever get over yourself. :) There is a man that I admire now, but I know he needs to grow up before I could ever consider being with him. I feel mostly happy and content with my life as it is now. I am free and it is nice to be free. I can sleep any time I want, and eat whatever I want. So many guys try to regulate what their woman eats and it is so annoying. I don't have to worry about anyone but myself. When I got my own apartment God kept telling me, "No one can take better care of you then you yourself can." No one can or will care about you as much as you can. They might try and fail. Ultimately in life it is every man or woman for themselves. You have to be strong and take care of yourself first and foremost. The ugly truth is that other people will generally only use you and abuse you. They don't know any better. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." Forget about everyone else. Be kind to yourself. Keep yourself safe. Take good care of yourself. And all the rest of your life will fall into place.