Learning

 "Failure is success if we learn from it."

After my first true love died when I was 27, I felt so guilty. We had a fight that night and he went out drinking with a co-worker. He died from the mixture of being on too many medications and drinking. I felt guilty for so long that I caused him to want to go out drinking that night. My step dad said about that situation, "All you can do, is do better next time."  

Did I do better the next time? No. But maybe it was excusable. I had a hard time being patient with my ex husband, but it would have been hard for any woman I think, except his mom. Now she gets to deal with his craziness forever, that possibly she created by not raising her son right. That applies to my ex husband and my ex boyfriend actually. Both were not raised right by their moms. Both were not taught to respect women. I felt sympathetic to both of them because my parents didn't do the best job either.  There is no reason why I should respect men considering what a low life my dad was, but somehow I still do. It is possible to overcome bad parenting and find your own way of success as an adult. You can be strong even if you didn't get that strength from your parents. 

Most kids hear from their parents that they believe in them and "You can do it." Kids are supposed to look up to their parents. They know how to have a good marriage from seeing their parent's good marriage. That model home is only a reality in about 5% of homes in America now. We are all messed up now because our parents were seriously messed up. We all had bad parents now. But we can overcome that.