My Happy Transition

Jarrell, TX....so many memories there. Overall I am glad to be done with that town. I lost everything there. Satan must be strong in Jarrell, that's all I can say. I lost my kids there, my ex husband, my good friend Crystal, my bf, my job, my house, everything. But at least I had all those things for awhile. 

I don't know if there were more evil spirits flying around that town, but for whatever reason that was where my ex lost his mind. I felt depressed the whole time I lived there. I guess because there was nothing fun around there. We had some hiking trails in the area but you had to drive 30 minutes to get to them. It was just a very sad place to be. Way too many memories for me there. 

Now I am starting a new life in sunny Florida with the most beautiful beaches in the entire world, quite possibly. Everything here is beautiful and exciting. The night I drove into Destin I felt so much hope, that I could finally be happy in this place, and I have been. It is beautiful and safe here. Everyone is happy. There is always something to do, or someone to do. :) There are jobs open everywhere. No one here would need to be lacking in any way. It is like the Promise Land, flowing with milk and honey. 

But part of me still wonders about West Palm Beach. I keep thinking of driving down there to see my ex bf. I don't know if we should let go of each other and move on. I know we both want to be with someone younger. He would get this look in his eyes sometimes, like a really crazy look. It felt like he would have beat the crap out of me if he could have, in those moments. I suppose that was why I didn't think of him as super attractive. Those crazy eyes would haunt me every time I looked at him. But then other times his eyes looked like Bambi with his cute long eye lashes and he looked so innocent and sweet. I miss the sweet side of him, but not the crazy side at all. 

I came out here instead of going to CA a week ago because God told me if I loved my ex, I would come over here, where he was. But it was also just to start a new life. God has been trying to get me to Florida for a really long time now. The best part about this area is no snow or ice. 

I considered settling down in Odessa and renting a room in that area, but the ice there is just horrible. I don't know if I could ever live there long term again. My daughters are there, but my ex seems to not want to share them with me. Maybe he is just bitter then I didn't try to go out there for 2 years, but he always told me not to. He said it would be too much drama. So I just stayed in Jarrell, 6 hours away from my daughters for 2 years.  

I am still trying to figure out what I want and where I want to settle forever. I think overall I want to stay in the Destin area forever, and anyone who wants to be in my life can come live here by me.