Religious Humor

Who else has wondered if Jesus and Mary Magdalene were a couple in secret? Do you actually think Jesus went his whole life without having sex? Can you imagine how many women were throwing themselves at Jesus? I bet he didn't turn them all down. It just wasn't put in the Bible. ☺

If Jesus produced offspring, does that mean some Jewish people today are part Jesus? 🤔

 You know what commandment everyone breaks every week? Bearing false witness. Raise your hand if you lied this week. If you didn't raise your hand that was a lie right there. ☺

This one is tricky, "Do not make a graven image." Does that include little figurines? I love the little bear figurines but then I was wondering if that counts as a graven image. 

"You shall have no other gods before me." What if your mom or mother in law try to act like they are your god? Then what? 🤔

And what about "wives submit to your husbands." Doesn't that make him like a god or something? 

Do not take God's name in vain. I used to say Omg all the time. A friend corrected me on that. She said,  "Don't you know that means oh my God." "Yeah but I didn't say it. But you just did. Oh...." 

"Keep the Sabbath day holy." What does that mean? If I drive on the Sabbath does that count as work? What if my job forces me to work Sunday? Hopefully God understands we all need to make a living. I heard as long as you rest on any day of the week that counts. So that is good. Ok but what about mothers? Moms never rest a full day. So....

Honor your parents. I figure as long as you don't cuss your parents out you are honoring them. 😂 I have vented my anger at my mom several times, but I figured I didn't use any cuss words so I still was honoring her. 🤔

"Thou shall not kill." If I eat a chicken is it like I killed that chicken? The blood of the chicken's hands is on me. Poor little chicken. 

I understand the rest of the 10 Commandments and I like them. Adultery is bad always. Stealing is very wrong. And I do my best not to covet. Except when a friend gets a new car. Then I covet a little bit. 

I baptized my oldest daughter in a lake. I didn't really explain to her what I was about to do. I think she thought I was trying to drown her. 😣 Poor little girl. 

You know Luke was the doctor that followed Jesus everywhere. But why did Jesus have a doctor with him when he could heal anything? 

This verse has always felt like a curve ball to me. "These signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” That is where the snake handlers came from in case you ever wondered. I don't get the deadly poison part. Why is that in there? Did Jesus want us to try drinking deadly poison and just see what happens? 🤔

Why is the Holy Spirit equated with fire? Fire can burn you and it hurts. But then the Holy Spirit is called our comforter. 

How does God the Father sit on a throne all day when he is a spirit? And have you ever wondered where God the Father came from? Does he have a God in charge of him? 🤔