Money Jokes

 Have you noticed that no matter how much money you have, you always want more? 

Student loans are the dumbest loans because they have nothing to repossess. What are they going to do, repossess my mind? 

The number one reason couples divorce is because of arguments over money. One or both just can't control their greed. But hey if you didn't like the person anyways, the break up is a blessing in disguise. Every cloud has a silver lining. 

Money is like a bird. It's here for a little while and then it's gone. 

The love of money is the root of all evil. Does that mean the richer you get, the more evil you get? 

Why do we even have money? I think the barter system was better. I have always loved to make bracelets. I think I should be able to trade my bracelets for food. 

One time I spent $20,000 in 3 months. Those rentals cars aren't cheap. That is why now I prefer to not travel anywhere. Staying home 24/7 saves you a lot of money. I don't even go out to eat anymore. 

If you ate at a restaurant as a date night twice a week, that is almost $500 a month. Mac n cheese is a much better meal option. Just light some candles. It will feel enough like a date. 

I don't like banks. They take all your cash and never even say thank you. 

Why do we buy more clothes when we already have clothes? I usually order clothes online. Half the time they don't even fit right. And yet I keep ordering clothes online. 

Giving money to a church never works. I've given money at church. I didn't get any richer. 

Car payments are the most frustrating thing ever invented. You know what is more fun? Making new friends when you need help fixing up your piece of crap car. That is a lot more fun. 

A mortgage is called a necessary evil. Yes it is evil but is it necessary? Why not camp out until you have enough to buy a house? Or marry someone who already has a house. 

Before you buy anything ask yourself, "Do I really need this?" And "Is this more important than eating next week?" 

A penny saved is a penny earned. But why just save pennies? Save as much as you can. Your old dying and sick self will be very happy you did.