Monday, January 8, 2024

Relationship Jokes

 My ex husband used to say he was the man of the house. I wanted to tell him, "No you have to buy a house first to be able to say that."

How many ladies hide things they buy from their man? There really is no point. He will find out what you bought eventually so let it all hang out. No more hiding things you notty little child. 

Why do people lie to their mate? Because they don't want them to get mad. But don't you get even more mad when you find out someone lied to you? Yep. 

Do all you ladies try to cook just as good as your man's mom or grandma? It's never gonna happen. Just give up now. :)

If your man says you need to lose weight just say "and you don't? Judge not or you too will be judged."

If y'all are too lazy to go to church in person it's ok. Just turn on some online church. You probably wouldn't have talked to anyone at church anyways. 

In laws are awkward because they are like pretend parents, but they never were your parents. All y'all should say to your mother in laws, "You ain't my momma." 

If your mate wants inside pets just sleep in another room. Don't let your sleep get messed up due to the pet. Unless you really enjoy cuddling with smelly animals. 

If your mate doesn't shower every day, just don't get it on with them. Problem solved. 

If there is a chore you want done around the house do it yourself. Isn't that better than complaining when they don't do it? As Nike says, just do it. 




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