Biblical Couples Fighting

 The Old Testament starts with a couple who probably had many fights, Adam and Eve. The New Testament also begins with a couple who probably had some fights, Mary and Joseph. 

Here is the possible unrecorded conversation between Adam and Eve, "Eve what were you thinking? Why would you talk to a serpent in the first place?" "Well you barely ever talk to me. I needed someone to talk to." "I told you we can't eat from that tree." "I was hungry." "You're always hungry. Now what are we going to do?" "Maybe God will forgive us." "He's not just going to forgive us because you're cute. He has rules. We have to follow them." "Well I'm sorry I ate from the forbidden tree, but you ate it too." "I can't say no to you. You're too beautiful." "Well then you can only be mad at yourself." "I am mad at myself. I don't know what I was thinking. Why did God even let me have you? I was better off by myself." "How rude. I thought you loved me." "I do, sometimes." Then God finally said, "Ok ok break it up. I decided I'm not going to let either of you die. I'm just going to kick you out of the garden. Don't worry, you will be ok. Eventually you will discover steak and that will make everything ok." 

Here is the unrecorded conversation between Mary and Joseph. Joseph may have said to Mary, "What do you mean the Holy Spirit got you pregnant? Are you sure it wasn't Josiah?" "I don't even like Josiah?" "Well he told me he likes you." "Well I don't like him. Yes it was the Holy Spirit. I wish God would tell you like he told me." "Well maybe he will. Are you expecting me to father this child?" "I don't care. Do what you want." "I will." "Ok good." 

If Zachariah and Elizabeth had a fight it maybe sounded like this, "I can't believe you are pregnant at 70 years old. You might need to do some sit ups so you can get that baby out quick. I don't want to deal with a 30 hour labor." "You really don't have to be there." "Ok fine maybe I won't." "Since God caused you to get me pregnant finally I'm sure he will help me get through my delivery." "Yeah I'm sure he will. Good luck sweetie." "Uh huh." 

Abraham and Sarah I bet had some fights too. Abraham told the Pharaoh that Sarah was his sister rather than his wife. God struck Pharaoh with a plague so he would give Sarah back. I bet after that Sarah said, "I can't believe you would just let me go that easily. You almost forced me to commit adultery." "Well I let you do it so maybe it wouldn't have counted as adultery." "What if the Pharaoh was mean to me? You didn't think about that did you?" "No sorry wifey. It won't happen again." "Yeah you better believe it won't happen again. I'm gonna go live with my brother." "No don't do that. I can't liiiiive if livin is without you." "Ok fine I'll stay, but from now on I get to buy whatever I want." "Ok fine. I'll just take a loan out if I have to." "Yeah you take out that loan." 

Here is the possible unrecorded fight between David and his other wife that wasn't Bathsheba. 

"I can't believe you slept with her. I wasn't enough for you? What is so special about her?" "I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself." "Couldn't help yourself? What? I bet if she gets pregnant God won't let that baby live." "That is a terrible thing to say. How could you put that curse on me?" "Well how could you cheat on me? Maybe I'll never have sex with you again." "It's ok I'll still have Bathsheba." "What?" "Huh I didn't say anything." 

Peter and his wife: 

"What do you mean you're going to follow someone." "His name is Jesus and he asked me to follow him." "Well do you know anything about him?" "He seems pretty cool." "Well when will you come home?" "I don't know." "Well what will you eat while you are gone?" "I don't know." "Ok I can see you are having like a mid life crisis right now. Just send me letters so I know you are ok." "Ok that works. See ya later!" "Yep see you later crazy person." 

Noah and his wife: 

"You want me to help you build a boat? Why?" "God said he will destroy the earth with a big flood." "Why on earth would God do that? I'll help you build that boat after God tells me himself." "Fine I'll just have our sons help me." "Yeah sure I hope you all have fun." 

Jacob and Rachel: 

"Rachel I still love you even if you never have a baby." "No you don't. Ok maybe you do, but I can't believe I can't have a baby? Why won't God let me have a baby?" "Maybe having a baby would take away your beauty." "I don't care about my beauty. I want a baby more than anything" "God will give you one eventually I'm sure. Just be patient." "I have been patient. I'm so mad that my sister just keeps popping out babies and I don't even get one." "You have me." "Yeah and I have to share you with my sister." "I'm sorry." Then Jacob went outside to hang out with his sheep, and he loved it that sheep don't talk. 

Ruth and Boaz: 

"What are you doing sleeping in my bed? What, you want to be my wife? You could have just asked." "Yes I want you. Let me be your woman." "Alright baby let's get it on." 

Samson and Delilah: 

"I can't believe you let your people capture me. Didn't you love me?" "It was just about the sex sweetie." "I can't believe I wasted my time on you. How could you be such a traitor? How do you sleep at night?" "Well why did you trust me in the first place? I wasn't from your people. Of course we would want revenge on you." "You know you are only beautiful on the outside. Your heart is evil." "Well you are only handsome on the outside too."