Getting Old Jokes

 I used to be able to hold my pee all night. After I had my first baby that became impossible. I think pregnancy permanently squishes your bladder. 

I have realized that God lets us gain weight as we get older so we can tell how old each of us are, depending on how big we are. 

I injured myself getting up off the floor a week ago. I had always heard about that. I never thought it would happen to me. 

I'm only 39 and already my brain is going bye bye. Every day I'll realize I did something, like made tea but I don't remember doing it. 

My hair is half gray already. I figured I would go back to my blond highlight hair style from college. Maybe then I'll kid myself that I can be forever young. 

My teeth are all doing ok praise God. I have had many nightmares though that half of them are falling out. Those are the scariest dreams a person can have. 

I think the older you get, the louder you snore. Some days just when I fall asleep, my baby wakes up. I think my freight train snoring wakes him up. 

I am starting to get wrinkles around my eyes. Every time I look at them it makes me sad. Whyyyy do we all have to get older? 

You know you're old when you don't want to drive anywhere because those young people drive so crazy. 

You know you're old when you stop wanting to do it because you might pull a hamstring. ☺

You know you're old when oatmeal is your new favorite meal. 

You know you're old when you get so happy about a 7pm bedtime.