The Psychology of a Child Molester

Here are some typical characteristics of people who may end up molesting children.

These are just some that I thought of from observing my own dad, who was a perpetual child molester, and a guy I worked with for a year who turned out to be a child molester. Also reading a couple articles about this helped.

This might be very helpful for other parents out there on what kind of people to watch out for and look for. The main thing really is watch out for adults that seem like, or act like, they are still children. If there is someone who is 30 but they seem like they are still 12, that is a good warning sign.

　

Child Molesters are typically:

　

Extremely insecure but actually come off as overly confident. Often times the most insecure people cover it up with a mask of appearing super confident, but in fact they feel very small inside.

The biggest and most notable trait is that they are highly IMPULSIVE. They have a hard time with self-control and cannot keep themselves in check. They don't think before they speak etc.

Lack of empathy in general. Can be very callous and unable to care about the feelings of others.

Very selfish. Very seldom ask others how they are doing. Tend to dominate in conversations.

Seem very child like; they get along with children better than fellow adults

Seem to be insecure in the adult world, but fit in well with children. When with children it might appear like they are just one of the kids.

They are probably behind developmentally; socially and mentally behind. They seem like half their age in many ways. (which might explain why they are attracted to children because they are still like a child themselves :(

In men, they might have overly high testosterone levels.

They might feel insecure in adult relationships and so pursue children for relationships because it seems "easier." As in children don't judge and typically are much nicer than adults etc.

In many ways, they are still a child themselves. Might have a very high energy level like a child.

Other areas of their lives are out of whack; not eating or sleeping enough. Generally not taking care of themselves very well.

They may have a high stress working environment or lots of stress at home.

They might feel powerless in adult relationships and so try to feel powerful through sexually abusing children.

They might be drawn to other things that give them power or make them feel powerful; jobs of power, positions of leadership etc.

They were often abused as children themselves and never worked through their own abuse. Can be sexual or physical past abuse. Might have a lot of unresolved anger that they don't realize. This anger can be seen in sarcastic remarks, trying to control others, a short temper etc.

Typically they are not in touch with their feelings; have an inability to be open and communicate with others, so their bad feelings and "evil side" stay hidden and get worse. As sin hidden in darkness always gets worse and festers but when shared and brought into the light the chains are broken and healing can take place. Amen :)

Have a lack of mentors or anyone to speak into their life and hold them accountable for things

Lack of close friends in general

Not very close with family; parents or siblings. Somewhat alienated from family of origin.

　

So those are some things to look out for in anyone who you might have your kids around. Not that we should be paranoid about everyone and anyone, but it's important to not be too naive and gullible about people either.

Most of the time NO ONE would suspect it when someone is a child molester. They blend in pretty well with society actually, but these are some things that are different about them.

They are actually generally quite personable and charming so they come off as being a very nice and good person. But it is only a cover or a mask. They are simply just very good at pretending. Perhaps it's a way to over-compensate for how bad they feel to come off as overly good.

Hopefully my general observations will help some of you and will help prevent some children from being molested in the future. As Jesus said, we should always be "as wise as serpents but as innocent as doves." Amen. God bless!

And related to all this, here is one of my favorite Bible passages. :)

Eph. 4:11-15

"So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become MATURE, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."  Amen! :)