Raising Children

I have been working with kids for 14 years of all ages.

The most important thing I have learned from all that is that whatever you believe about a child they will become.

If you believe a child is an angel, that child will then act like an angel, seriously.

But if you believe they are a demon of some sort, perhaps a spawn of Satan, they will then act that way.

It is a self fulfilling prophesy.

If you think about your child, "Oh there is nothing special about him or her."  Then they will never do anything special.

But if you say to your child every day, "You know that you are special don't you?  And I love you so much.  And God has something for you to do in your life that nobody else can do."  If you say that they will be valedictorian in no time!

I know this from personal experience.  All it took when I was 14 was for my grandma to say those words to me over and over. 

And I stopped hanging out with the wrong friends.  I stopped getting in trouble and sneaking out at night and lying to my mom. 

In school I joined every club I could, took every class in the Honors or AP level, joined the school choir, was on the basketball team.  I joined MUN, a debate club we had at our school, and Senior year became the Senior class vice president.

I did everything!  All because someone told me I was special and would do great things someday.

I am telling you it will do wonders for your own children.

My grandma also has a pretty cool story about when she was teaching junior high English.

The principle called her into his office one day.  She was shaking she was so nervous that he was going to say she did something wrong.  But he said to her, "What did you go with Bobby Pearly?"  She said, "What do you mean?''  He said, "He just came into my office, voluntarily, and laid down his switch blade and when I asked him why he just said Mrs. Sypherd.  Now what did you do to him!?"

My grandma said, "I just told him he was special everyday and that God had something for him to do that nobody else could do."

The principle was shocked.  "That's it!  That's all you did?!"

Yes, that was all she needed to do.  And that is all any of us need to do with the next generation. 

What if as teachers, parents, youth workers, mentors, we, instead of disciplining a kid for being bad we rather told them they were special all the time and called them an angel so that in so doing we could transform them into an angel.

This is a revolutionary concept I know, but I grew up knowing that this was how one needed to work with kids, so kids always loved me in my jobs with them.

The fact is, if kids do not get positive attention they will seek negative attention.  They demand attention somehow, especially the extroverted ones.  So tell them they are special and praise them everyday so they do not have to get desperate and get in trouble for you to notice them.  Find something good in them, some talent, some skill.  Every child has something special about them.  You just have to find it and laser in on that good thing inside of them.  Nurture it, encourage it, make it grow, and you will see them blossom into the most beautiful flower!

This is basic human psychology.  In marriages, if either spouse thinks the other is not good they might then become not good. 

But if both spouses think the other is an angel, or as close to one as they could be, what would that do with our marriages?

Tell the people closest to you that you think they are an angel and see what it does!

May God bless you!  :)