Check this out; Interviews with Will Smith.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5nVqeVhgQE
Will Smith talks some about the universe. I am unsure where these philosophies come from. I know he was raised in a Baptist church, went to a Catholic junior high, but as of now I think he defines his religious beliefs as Scientology. Which is quite unfortunate, but that is the way most Hollywood actors tend to go sadly. The advice regarding the universe might be from the book "The Secret" that basically talks about karma; what you do is what will happen to you. If you put out positive engery, positive things will happen to you. I do not know about that though, knowing the biblical story of Job. Job was blameless in God's sight. He would have put out a lot of "positive energy" but part of his life was absolutely horrible. As much as we would like to, we ultimately have no control over what happesn to us. The rain falls on the good and the bad.
However, Will Smith has great wisdom on other topics. :)
Great quotes from Will Smith:
"Greatness is not this wonderful, elusive god-like feature that only the special amoung us will ever taste. It's something that truly exists in all of us."
"We didn't grow up with the sense that where we were was where we were gonna be....we were becoming something greater."
"My dad said don't you ever tell me there's something you can't do."
"My grandmothers always said if you're gonna be here there's a necessity to make a difference...the responsibilty you have to make every group you have in contact with better."
"If you're not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time. You're life will become better by making others' lives better."
"I believe that I can create whatever I want to create.....the first step before anyone else believes it is YOU have to believe it."
"You have to believe that something different than what has happened for the last thousands of years of history can happen.
"Confucious says, 'He who says he can and he who says he can't are both right.' "
"Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity." He says electricity and flying in a plane does not seem realistic, but it happens.
"I'm motivated by fear....fear of fear, I hate being scared to do something."
"In my early days I started attacking things that I was afraid of."
"Roosevelt said the only thing you have to fear is fear itself."
"Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something....you got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves they want to tell you you can't do it. You want something, go get it, period."
Will Smith said he never considered himself that talented, which is funny because I have always considered him one of the most talanted people alive! lol But he just has a very, very hard work ethic. It is true that if you want something in life, you have to work at it. Things don't just come to you. A farmer's crop will not just grow by itself. You have to sow so that you can reap.
Something does not come from nothing. If you do nothing, you will get nothing. If you do not invest in something, you will not get a pay off. If you want something, you have to do something about that want.
I love the quote from Thoreau, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately."
How many of us DON'T live deliberately? We just sit around and expect life to happen to us. We want things to just happen for us without putting any work into it. Life doesn't work that way. Relationships don't work that way. Everything worth doing is hard. Every good thing takes hard work.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Jesus: A Bridge
Jesus bridges the gap between man and God. This is why He said, "I am the way, the truth and the life, no one can come to the Father BUT BY ME."
He also said, "I am the vine, you are the branches; apart from me you can do nothing." '
The Christian walk begins with a dependence on Jesus, and it continues with a dependence on Jesus. We can't say at the beginning, "Jesus save me. I am lost without you" and then go about our lives after we are saved as if we do not need Him.
We can do NOTHING apart from him. Do you kind of believe that or really believe that?
I know I myself have struggled with the desire for self-sufficiency. But we cannot be fully self-sufficient.
That means you cannot do your job apart from Jesus. Well you can, but you would be so much more successful if you let Jesus take over in your work.
You certainly cannot do your marriage without Jesus.
You cannot truly love others without Jesus.
So let Him take the wheel in every aspect of your life and see what happens. Let Him have the reins. He is a much more capable driver than you anyways. lol
May God bless you! :)
Holding Things with Open Hands
I believe the two most important components for a relationship are loyalty and freedom. Love cannot grow in a relationship unless there is loyalty and freedom.
If you do not have loyalty, there is no relationship.
Likewise, if you do not have freedom, there is no love. Love gives the beloved freedom to grow and be and do whatever they want. Love does not seek to change the other. Love does not seek to hold them down against their will. Love gives freedom.
If there is not freedom, then there is control. Control is the opposite of love. Love cannot grow in a controlling environment.
The problem is that in many relationships, one person is not loyal which causes the other one to become controlling. At that point, the relationship is over emotionally. It should be ended.
But people seek to hold on to it past when it should be held onto and they kill love more and more everyday with control which leads to more disloyalty which leads to more control.
In the book "Love and Respect" the author would call this "the crazy cycle." There are many crazy cycles in relationships, that if one simply stopped doing the crazy behavior, whether it be controlling or dishonesty, the other would also stop. And like the clouds breaking after a storm, the sun would come out, and there would be peace and balance again.
Everyday we have to make a choice if we are going to try to control people or love them. You cannot do both at the same time.
Love needs freedom to grow. Scripture says, "Perfect love casts out all fear." For love to grow, one needs to not be afraid of punishment etc.
There is also the phrase, "When you love something, let it go."
As long as we try to hold on to something, it will only cause that thing to weaken. It is in freedom and opening things up to roam free that they can grow.
Jesus said, "Whoever wants to save his life will loose it but whoever looses his life for my sake will find it."
We are to hold everything in our lives with an open hand. We never know when God will take them, and we have no control over that. If we hold things loosely, then when they are lost it will not devastate us. Jesus has to stay at the center, because He is always faithful and He is not going anywhere. Anything else good in our lives in a temporary bonus. You never know when that person will be gone. You never know when that job will be over. If we put stock in anything in this life we are only then giving it the power to disappoint us.
God alone deserves our complete trust and our complete faith.
When we put faith in other people, it should be that we put faith in God's spirit who is in them, not in the person themselves.
When we put faith in our jobs to provide for us, it should be that we put faith in God giving us the ability to do that job, not in the job itself. Any job we have is from God. He gives us everything. When we loose sight of that we start to have idols. It is not you who has blessed yourself. It is GOD who has blessed you. Never forget that.
If you need it, God will provide it for you.
If you don't need it, you won't have it or get it.
God knows what we need and when we need it. Trust him with your life, your job, your relationships, etc. And remember, ANYTHING good in your life is from Him!
Amen? Amen!
So thank God for anything good in your life today! And remember that He is the source of all that is good in your life! :)
God bless!
If you do not have loyalty, there is no relationship.
Likewise, if you do not have freedom, there is no love. Love gives the beloved freedom to grow and be and do whatever they want. Love does not seek to change the other. Love does not seek to hold them down against their will. Love gives freedom.
If there is not freedom, then there is control. Control is the opposite of love. Love cannot grow in a controlling environment.
The problem is that in many relationships, one person is not loyal which causes the other one to become controlling. At that point, the relationship is over emotionally. It should be ended.
But people seek to hold on to it past when it should be held onto and they kill love more and more everyday with control which leads to more disloyalty which leads to more control.
In the book "Love and Respect" the author would call this "the crazy cycle." There are many crazy cycles in relationships, that if one simply stopped doing the crazy behavior, whether it be controlling or dishonesty, the other would also stop. And like the clouds breaking after a storm, the sun would come out, and there would be peace and balance again.
Everyday we have to make a choice if we are going to try to control people or love them. You cannot do both at the same time.
Love needs freedom to grow. Scripture says, "Perfect love casts out all fear." For love to grow, one needs to not be afraid of punishment etc.
There is also the phrase, "When you love something, let it go."
As long as we try to hold on to something, it will only cause that thing to weaken. It is in freedom and opening things up to roam free that they can grow.
Jesus said, "Whoever wants to save his life will loose it but whoever looses his life for my sake will find it."
We are to hold everything in our lives with an open hand. We never know when God will take them, and we have no control over that. If we hold things loosely, then when they are lost it will not devastate us. Jesus has to stay at the center, because He is always faithful and He is not going anywhere. Anything else good in our lives in a temporary bonus. You never know when that person will be gone. You never know when that job will be over. If we put stock in anything in this life we are only then giving it the power to disappoint us.
God alone deserves our complete trust and our complete faith.
When we put faith in other people, it should be that we put faith in God's spirit who is in them, not in the person themselves.
When we put faith in our jobs to provide for us, it should be that we put faith in God giving us the ability to do that job, not in the job itself. Any job we have is from God. He gives us everything. When we loose sight of that we start to have idols. It is not you who has blessed yourself. It is GOD who has blessed you. Never forget that.
If you need it, God will provide it for you.
If you don't need it, you won't have it or get it.
God knows what we need and when we need it. Trust him with your life, your job, your relationships, etc. And remember, ANYTHING good in your life is from Him!
Amen? Amen!
So thank God for anything good in your life today! And remember that He is the source of all that is good in your life! :)
God bless!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
The Tragedy of Sexual Abuse
What are the long term effects of sexual abuse? Does it affect one's day to day life once one is an adult? What are some of the issues sexual abuse causes and is there a solution? Yes.
First let's define what sexual abuse is. "Sexual abuse is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal or psychological) between a child/adolescent and an adult when the child/adolescent is being used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or any other person."
You can ask yourself if anything that happened to you fits that description or you can also ask yourself, "Have I ever been in a situation where I felt sexually uncomfortable, awkward or debased?" It does not have to be from an adult, it could have been from a peer or someone you were even in a relationship with.
I am reading a book on the topic of sexual abuse. This is probably the BEST book out there regarding sexual abuse. It is called The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Dr. Dan Allender. I will share quotes from the book and my insights in hopes of helping others who have suffered abuse. Statistically they say one in three women and one in five men by the age of 18 are sexually abused in some way. So if you or someone you know has been sexually abused, I hope the information in this blog will help you. :)
The Wounded Heart:
The author, Dr. Allender himself, was sexually abused. He states, "I recalled forced masturbation at a camp I had attended as an adolescent, a homosexual invitation I turned down in Boy Scouts, and a sexual assault that occurred at a football camp."
Sexual abuse can happen anywhere. Mine happened while taking a nap with my dad. My brother's happened while taking a shower with my dad. Many women have been date rapped, by a guy they were dating and trusted. My late husband was sexually abused in high school, in the school hallways! And the teachers said nothing and did nothing. He also was kind of raped by some co-workers when he went to a party at their house. They literally slipped a drug into his alcohol and essentially raped him. That poor guy had probably been severely sexually abused 20 times in his life. It really is by the grace of God that he was allowed to go home to heaven 3 months ago, because to live with that much pain and shame.....I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him to be him. I know he had night mares just about every single night. He never seemed to be fully at peace. He had gone through so, so much. In many ways I really praise God that he is safe finally in heaven! And that he can finally be happy and at peace!
There is also a verse in the Old Testament that refers to a generational curse. It says, "The sins of the father...visited up to the 6th and 7th generations." It essentially says that the consequences for one man's sin might continue up to 7 generations after him. That has somewhat been a fear for me in having children of my own. What if the cycle of abuse continues with them somehow by someone? However, it is possible that the chain of abuse was broken with me.
I don't know what happened to the women in my family before my grandma, but my grandma was raped by her dad when she was 18, my mom by her cousin when she was 8, and the incident with my own dad, I believe he was about to rape me, but I jumped out of the bed and told my mom what happened when she came home. My dad admitted to her later that he would have gone all the way eventually if I hadn't told. So what happened to me was quite crazy, but I really have a lot to be thankful for; that God saved me from actually being raped. And that God created me gutsy enough to jump away, as many young girls do not or feel they cannot. It's possible that I had the courage to do so because I was already saved at that young of an age also. I did grow up in the church. So it could have been that God was leading me in all that. HE gave me the boldness to tell my mom the TRUTH. I told my mom, because I knew in my soul that what my dad was doing, or was about to do, was wrong. I can only imagine it was God who would give a 6 year old the boldness to turn her own dad in like that. I think even then I knew, I had faith, that God would protect me and provide for me. Even at the age of 6, I RECOGNIZED THAT IT WAS GOD WHO WAS MY REAL FATHER, my true daddy.
Here is a great song on this topic: "Ask Me" by Amy Grant. I grew up listening to this song a lot, ironically. That was probably a very good thing as it helped form my theology and perspective about God regarding the whole situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2bOMpZa7mQ
Please realize from these stories that sexual abuse happens everywhere, all the time. If you are reading this and know of any possibility of sexual abuse or any kind of abuse, REPORT IT. Do not allow abuse to go on. It enrages God when it is not stopped. If we have the power to stop it, WE NEED TO.
The author's 8 year old daughter asked, "Daddy, do abused people have walls in their hearts that keep them from being happy, and will they have less bricks in their walls after reading your book?" lol so cute! :)
When we are abused, we do tend to put walls up. The reason for this is that we do not want to be hurt again. Joyce Meyer once said she heard God telling her, "When you wall them out, you wall yourself in." Very true. Abuse makes trusting anyone very difficult, which leads to one being very lonely.
The cure is to be around good Christian people who will help the abused person to believe that people can be good again. We are hurt by people and we also must be healed by people.
Another classic way to heal is to face your fears. Anyone who is abused is very afraid of opening up to someone else and being vulnerable. And that is exactly what you must do to be healed. Whatever you are most afraid of, GO DO THAT. Until you do, you will not get better.
Dr. Allender states, "When people....are subjected to terrible crimes against God and against their soul, like sexual abuse, powerful forces are set in motion within them that make it especially frightening to give themselves to others."
Because we were abused by a person, it is very hard to trust another person, because what if they hurt us too? The fact is, we live in a fallen world, and it is inevitable that other people WILL hurt us again. No one is perfect. Everyone we are surrounded by in life is fallen and broken just as much as we are. But God can heal us when they hurt us. That is why God gives us the gift of forgiveness, so that we will not hold onto hurt inflicted by other people. God has promised to comfort us.
Psalm 34 says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
It was not God's will that you were abused. He does, however, ALLOW bad things to happen to us for reasons we cannot fully understand in this life. God allowed many, many terrible things to happen to Job. But despite what we have gone through, we still need to trust Him, even when we are confused by how the world works sometimes.
Allender says, "We sometimes manage to persuade ourselves that God is as pleased as we are with our developing maturity, while in fact His Spirit is gently pushing open doors into the darker regions of our hearts that we pretend don't exist."
We often want to run from ourselves, and we hide in our busyness. I used to have, and sometimes still do, recurring nightmares that I was being chased by someone. It is possible that the dream represented that I was running from myself or my past. We like to cover our wounds as someone might put a band aid over a scrape. But it is not until we expose our wounds to the air that they will be healed. Sometimes our wounds have to be washed and cleaned out. This process can be painful but it is also necessary.
Allender says, "One of the central messages of most books on abuse, this one included, is freedom from the guilt of the past abuse. What occurred is not your fault!" Amen! Yet so many people, sadly, think that whatever happened to them was their fault.
I used to be angry at the little me, as if it was her fault for the abuse from my father. In one counseling session I was asked to bring in pictures of me when I was younger. After that session I was able to look at those pictures and see a cute little girl rather than a seductive or bad little girl.
When someone sexually abuses someone else they get the abused person to think it is their fault, that they, the abused, wanted what happened to them. The abuser actually can be so deceived by Satan that they believe that themselves. They actually think the child is coming onto them in certain cases.
This is why Jesus states that such a person should be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck, because they have become completely disillusioned to reality. The fact is, the child is not sexual at all. The child does not have a sexual drive. Human beings do not develop a sexual drive until about 12, contrary to what Freud may have said. Children have no concept of sex etc. The abuser is not able to see children as children. The abuser sees the child as an adult, for whatever reason.
Children are innocent, pure and free. Any sexual act on a child is NOT wanted by the child. The confusion comes because children do want general AFFECTION and to feel that they are loved. The abuser, in their sick mind, confuses that want for affection for wanting sexual affection. This is why they sexually abuse the child. They often times convince the child that they want it also.
This is why many people who were sexually abused as children grow up thinking it was their fault, because the abuser fed them those lies. The lies that the abuser himself believed from Satan himself, the father of all liars.
Realizing all this can help the abused person see the truth. The TRUTH is, you were only a child. YOU DID NOT WANT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. So believe that. And STOP believing the lies that the abuser or Satan wants to tell you. You are innocent. You did nothing wrong. You were sinned against. As a child you were powerless to get out of the situation. Children do not have jobs or cars. They are stuck wherever they are. Therefore, there was nothing you could do about it. You could not have run away. Your reason most likely told you you would end up homeless and starving to death.
Another reason abused victims believe it was their fault is that for children it seems safer to believe that it is themselves who are bad rather than that their parent is bad. It is a very scary thought for a child to believe that their own parent or uncle or adult in their life can be that evil. So they take the responsibility for what happened on themselves.
Now that you are an adult, however, and are removed from the adult that abused you, hopefully you can see that they were capable of extreme evil. It was not 50/50, as in half their fault and half yours. It was 100% their fault and 0% yours. Remember that. Believe that.
"THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE."
Allender says, "The answer involves a strategy that seems to intensify the problem: peer DEEPLY into the wounded heart. The first great enemy to lasting change is the propensity to turn our eyes AWAY from the wound and pretend things are fine....the journey involves us bringing our wounded heart before God...the problem is that the path does involve His hurting us, but only in order to heal us."
Like a wound must be scrubbed out before it can heal, so our hearts need to be scrubbed out before they can fully heal. As a broken bone may need to be re broken in order to reset it so our hearts may need to be re broken so that they can heal correctly and in place.
I remember in counseling, even as young as when I was 6 or 7, the counselor would always say we needed to bring my issues out on the table. "Let's get everything out on the table." I would always say, "But why? I like things being under the table." lol, As so many of us do. We do not want to face the darkness within ourselves. We are afraid of the darkness. We are afraid of our own anger. We are afraid that if we let any of the pain out we might have a mental breakdown, so we hold it all inside.
But it is in holding everything inside that can lead to a mental breakdown or a psychotic break. Healing needs to be done by letting air slowly out of the balloon of our hearts, before it pops from the pressure. Life has a way of adding more and more pressure to our already filled balloons, until one day, they pop, and people commit suicide or turn to drugs or become an alcoholic. All of these things could be prevented if we would do the hard work of looking at the darkness in our own hearts BEFORE something like that happens. God wants to heal you. The question is; will you let Him?
In the healing process, ALWAYS remember that IT IS OK TO CRY.
Often times abused people become very good actors. We pretend that everything is ok, that we are strong; we can handle it. We do this because we do not want to be a burden on anyone else. But God is always there for you to cry out to. He is ALWAYS listening. He is ALWAYS willing to see your tears and look into your pain with you. Whatever it is, He can handle it. Crying may be the best thing you can do for your relationship with God.
When we cry, the walls come tumbling down. We cannot cry and be angry at the same time. Often times, crying releases the anger and the bitterness we were holding inside. It lets the sadness out that was hiding behind the mask of anger. It allows oneself to be vulnerable with oneself, and with God.
I read recently that there is actually a poisonous chemical that is literally released from the body when we cry. That is why some women say, "I needed a good cry." We literally do NEED TO CRY every once in awhile. God gave us the ability to cry for a reason. So if you have not cried in awhile, I recommend that you do so! :) It can be VERY, very healing to your mind, body and soul.
So have a good cry for Jesus! And you will most likely see the clouds part in your heart and the sun come out, as after a good hard rain. Release the weight in your heart, as the clouds release the weight they carry from the water in the clouds. Let your heart rain, as much as it needs to. :) And feel the freedom and the joy when you can see the sun again. :)
May God help all of us who have been abused to heal and become whole again! May he restore us to who we were meant to be before we were abused!
May God bless you and keep you! May he cause His face to shine upon you, and give you peace! :) Amen.
First let's define what sexual abuse is. "Sexual abuse is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal or psychological) between a child/adolescent and an adult when the child/adolescent is being used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or any other person."
You can ask yourself if anything that happened to you fits that description or you can also ask yourself, "Have I ever been in a situation where I felt sexually uncomfortable, awkward or debased?" It does not have to be from an adult, it could have been from a peer or someone you were even in a relationship with.
I am reading a book on the topic of sexual abuse. This is probably the BEST book out there regarding sexual abuse. It is called The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Dr. Dan Allender. I will share quotes from the book and my insights in hopes of helping others who have suffered abuse. Statistically they say one in three women and one in five men by the age of 18 are sexually abused in some way. So if you or someone you know has been sexually abused, I hope the information in this blog will help you. :)
The Wounded Heart:
The author, Dr. Allender himself, was sexually abused. He states, "I recalled forced masturbation at a camp I had attended as an adolescent, a homosexual invitation I turned down in Boy Scouts, and a sexual assault that occurred at a football camp."
Sexual abuse can happen anywhere. Mine happened while taking a nap with my dad. My brother's happened while taking a shower with my dad. Many women have been date rapped, by a guy they were dating and trusted. My late husband was sexually abused in high school, in the school hallways! And the teachers said nothing and did nothing. He also was kind of raped by some co-workers when he went to a party at their house. They literally slipped a drug into his alcohol and essentially raped him. That poor guy had probably been severely sexually abused 20 times in his life. It really is by the grace of God that he was allowed to go home to heaven 3 months ago, because to live with that much pain and shame.....I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him to be him. I know he had night mares just about every single night. He never seemed to be fully at peace. He had gone through so, so much. In many ways I really praise God that he is safe finally in heaven! And that he can finally be happy and at peace!
There is also a verse in the Old Testament that refers to a generational curse. It says, "The sins of the father...visited up to the 6th and 7th generations." It essentially says that the consequences for one man's sin might continue up to 7 generations after him. That has somewhat been a fear for me in having children of my own. What if the cycle of abuse continues with them somehow by someone? However, it is possible that the chain of abuse was broken with me.
I don't know what happened to the women in my family before my grandma, but my grandma was raped by her dad when she was 18, my mom by her cousin when she was 8, and the incident with my own dad, I believe he was about to rape me, but I jumped out of the bed and told my mom what happened when she came home. My dad admitted to her later that he would have gone all the way eventually if I hadn't told. So what happened to me was quite crazy, but I really have a lot to be thankful for; that God saved me from actually being raped. And that God created me gutsy enough to jump away, as many young girls do not or feel they cannot. It's possible that I had the courage to do so because I was already saved at that young of an age also. I did grow up in the church. So it could have been that God was leading me in all that. HE gave me the boldness to tell my mom the TRUTH. I told my mom, because I knew in my soul that what my dad was doing, or was about to do, was wrong. I can only imagine it was God who would give a 6 year old the boldness to turn her own dad in like that. I think even then I knew, I had faith, that God would protect me and provide for me. Even at the age of 6, I RECOGNIZED THAT IT WAS GOD WHO WAS MY REAL FATHER, my true daddy.
Here is a great song on this topic: "Ask Me" by Amy Grant. I grew up listening to this song a lot, ironically. That was probably a very good thing as it helped form my theology and perspective about God regarding the whole situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2bOMpZa7mQ
Please realize from these stories that sexual abuse happens everywhere, all the time. If you are reading this and know of any possibility of sexual abuse or any kind of abuse, REPORT IT. Do not allow abuse to go on. It enrages God when it is not stopped. If we have the power to stop it, WE NEED TO.
The author's 8 year old daughter asked, "Daddy, do abused people have walls in their hearts that keep them from being happy, and will they have less bricks in their walls after reading your book?" lol so cute! :)
When we are abused, we do tend to put walls up. The reason for this is that we do not want to be hurt again. Joyce Meyer once said she heard God telling her, "When you wall them out, you wall yourself in." Very true. Abuse makes trusting anyone very difficult, which leads to one being very lonely.
The cure is to be around good Christian people who will help the abused person to believe that people can be good again. We are hurt by people and we also must be healed by people.
Another classic way to heal is to face your fears. Anyone who is abused is very afraid of opening up to someone else and being vulnerable. And that is exactly what you must do to be healed. Whatever you are most afraid of, GO DO THAT. Until you do, you will not get better.
Dr. Allender states, "When people....are subjected to terrible crimes against God and against their soul, like sexual abuse, powerful forces are set in motion within them that make it especially frightening to give themselves to others."
Because we were abused by a person, it is very hard to trust another person, because what if they hurt us too? The fact is, we live in a fallen world, and it is inevitable that other people WILL hurt us again. No one is perfect. Everyone we are surrounded by in life is fallen and broken just as much as we are. But God can heal us when they hurt us. That is why God gives us the gift of forgiveness, so that we will not hold onto hurt inflicted by other people. God has promised to comfort us.
Psalm 34 says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
It was not God's will that you were abused. He does, however, ALLOW bad things to happen to us for reasons we cannot fully understand in this life. God allowed many, many terrible things to happen to Job. But despite what we have gone through, we still need to trust Him, even when we are confused by how the world works sometimes.
Allender says, "We sometimes manage to persuade ourselves that God is as pleased as we are with our developing maturity, while in fact His Spirit is gently pushing open doors into the darker regions of our hearts that we pretend don't exist."
We often want to run from ourselves, and we hide in our busyness. I used to have, and sometimes still do, recurring nightmares that I was being chased by someone. It is possible that the dream represented that I was running from myself or my past. We like to cover our wounds as someone might put a band aid over a scrape. But it is not until we expose our wounds to the air that they will be healed. Sometimes our wounds have to be washed and cleaned out. This process can be painful but it is also necessary.
Allender says, "One of the central messages of most books on abuse, this one included, is freedom from the guilt of the past abuse. What occurred is not your fault!" Amen! Yet so many people, sadly, think that whatever happened to them was their fault.
I used to be angry at the little me, as if it was her fault for the abuse from my father. In one counseling session I was asked to bring in pictures of me when I was younger. After that session I was able to look at those pictures and see a cute little girl rather than a seductive or bad little girl.
When someone sexually abuses someone else they get the abused person to think it is their fault, that they, the abused, wanted what happened to them. The abuser actually can be so deceived by Satan that they believe that themselves. They actually think the child is coming onto them in certain cases.
This is why Jesus states that such a person should be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck, because they have become completely disillusioned to reality. The fact is, the child is not sexual at all. The child does not have a sexual drive. Human beings do not develop a sexual drive until about 12, contrary to what Freud may have said. Children have no concept of sex etc. The abuser is not able to see children as children. The abuser sees the child as an adult, for whatever reason.
Children are innocent, pure and free. Any sexual act on a child is NOT wanted by the child. The confusion comes because children do want general AFFECTION and to feel that they are loved. The abuser, in their sick mind, confuses that want for affection for wanting sexual affection. This is why they sexually abuse the child. They often times convince the child that they want it also.
This is why many people who were sexually abused as children grow up thinking it was their fault, because the abuser fed them those lies. The lies that the abuser himself believed from Satan himself, the father of all liars.
Realizing all this can help the abused person see the truth. The TRUTH is, you were only a child. YOU DID NOT WANT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. So believe that. And STOP believing the lies that the abuser or Satan wants to tell you. You are innocent. You did nothing wrong. You were sinned against. As a child you were powerless to get out of the situation. Children do not have jobs or cars. They are stuck wherever they are. Therefore, there was nothing you could do about it. You could not have run away. Your reason most likely told you you would end up homeless and starving to death.
Another reason abused victims believe it was their fault is that for children it seems safer to believe that it is themselves who are bad rather than that their parent is bad. It is a very scary thought for a child to believe that their own parent or uncle or adult in their life can be that evil. So they take the responsibility for what happened on themselves.
Now that you are an adult, however, and are removed from the adult that abused you, hopefully you can see that they were capable of extreme evil. It was not 50/50, as in half their fault and half yours. It was 100% their fault and 0% yours. Remember that. Believe that.
"THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE."
Allender says, "The answer involves a strategy that seems to intensify the problem: peer DEEPLY into the wounded heart. The first great enemy to lasting change is the propensity to turn our eyes AWAY from the wound and pretend things are fine....the journey involves us bringing our wounded heart before God...the problem is that the path does involve His hurting us, but only in order to heal us."
Like a wound must be scrubbed out before it can heal, so our hearts need to be scrubbed out before they can fully heal. As a broken bone may need to be re broken in order to reset it so our hearts may need to be re broken so that they can heal correctly and in place.
I remember in counseling, even as young as when I was 6 or 7, the counselor would always say we needed to bring my issues out on the table. "Let's get everything out on the table." I would always say, "But why? I like things being under the table." lol, As so many of us do. We do not want to face the darkness within ourselves. We are afraid of the darkness. We are afraid of our own anger. We are afraid that if we let any of the pain out we might have a mental breakdown, so we hold it all inside.
But it is in holding everything inside that can lead to a mental breakdown or a psychotic break. Healing needs to be done by letting air slowly out of the balloon of our hearts, before it pops from the pressure. Life has a way of adding more and more pressure to our already filled balloons, until one day, they pop, and people commit suicide or turn to drugs or become an alcoholic. All of these things could be prevented if we would do the hard work of looking at the darkness in our own hearts BEFORE something like that happens. God wants to heal you. The question is; will you let Him?
In the healing process, ALWAYS remember that IT IS OK TO CRY.
Often times abused people become very good actors. We pretend that everything is ok, that we are strong; we can handle it. We do this because we do not want to be a burden on anyone else. But God is always there for you to cry out to. He is ALWAYS listening. He is ALWAYS willing to see your tears and look into your pain with you. Whatever it is, He can handle it. Crying may be the best thing you can do for your relationship with God.
When we cry, the walls come tumbling down. We cannot cry and be angry at the same time. Often times, crying releases the anger and the bitterness we were holding inside. It lets the sadness out that was hiding behind the mask of anger. It allows oneself to be vulnerable with oneself, and with God.
I read recently that there is actually a poisonous chemical that is literally released from the body when we cry. That is why some women say, "I needed a good cry." We literally do NEED TO CRY every once in awhile. God gave us the ability to cry for a reason. So if you have not cried in awhile, I recommend that you do so! :) It can be VERY, very healing to your mind, body and soul.
So have a good cry for Jesus! And you will most likely see the clouds part in your heart and the sun come out, as after a good hard rain. Release the weight in your heart, as the clouds release the weight they carry from the water in the clouds. Let your heart rain, as much as it needs to. :) And feel the freedom and the joy when you can see the sun again. :)
May God help all of us who have been abused to heal and become whole again! May he restore us to who we were meant to be before we were abused!
May God bless you and keep you! May he cause His face to shine upon you, and give you peace! :) Amen.
Rest
Jesus said, "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest."
A lot of times the reason we are easily tempted in various ways is because we are just tired.
At our church's Thankgiving service the pastor said, "Go take a nap for Jesus today!" Amen!
When was the last time you took a nap? When was the last time you allowed yourself to sleep in?
And we wonder why we are so tired all the time. Why we are so grouchy and angry and frustrated easily. Look at a two year old when they are more than ready for nap time. They are cranky and angry and frustrated. They are human just as much as we are.
Often times taking a nap is not doable due to work so people drink as much caffiene as they can throughout the day.
I would say even if you can't nap per se, try laying down when you get home from work. Take it easy. :) God would want you. :)
A lot of times the reason we are easily tempted in various ways is because we are just tired.
At our church's Thankgiving service the pastor said, "Go take a nap for Jesus today!" Amen!
When was the last time you took a nap? When was the last time you allowed yourself to sleep in?
And we wonder why we are so tired all the time. Why we are so grouchy and angry and frustrated easily. Look at a two year old when they are more than ready for nap time. They are cranky and angry and frustrated. They are human just as much as we are.
Often times taking a nap is not doable due to work so people drink as much caffiene as they can throughout the day.
I would say even if you can't nap per se, try laying down when you get home from work. Take it easy. :) God would want you. :)
Finding Balance
Do we recognize that we have multiple aspects to our soul? Do we care to look at our whole selves and others' whole selves?
The four parts of the soul are our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs.
We cannot focus on one and neglect the others, or focus on three and neglect the fourth. If we do so we will function like a table with four legs that had one taken away. It cannot then stand on three legs. We as humans cannot function adequately if we do not tend to every part of our souls.
We think of the physical needs first because we are most conscious of these. The things we need to simply stay alive are food and water. Every creature created has physical needs.
But humans have 3 other parts of the soul that animals do not. We are capable of complex reasoning and thought. We have a concept of life after death and the inkling that there might be a God. We are able to cry and feel emotions. Animals cannot cry.
How often do we look at these other aspects of ourselves?
How often do we look at these aspects in others?
In marriage it is key to recognize and tend to each aspect of the soul in your spouse. Marriage and relationships need to be more than just a physical connection. It is meant to be so much more than that.
We are meant to connect emotionally, in sharing deep personal thoughts with each other. Sharing hopes and dreams and plans. Being vulnerable about our hurts with each other or just with life in general.
We are meant to connect spiritually in praying together and sharing new spiritual insights with each other, in worshipping in church together and fellowship with others in bible studies together.
And we are meant to connect mentally in reading and learning new things together. One can never stop learning. There are always, always new things to learn. "The fool thinks he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." We have never fully arrived intellectually. No matter how many books we have read or sermons we have listened to, there is always more knowledge to be gained.
We also have never fully arrived emotionally. This is the most neglected aspect of the soul by so many people. Christians seem to maintain every other aspect but the emotional aspect of the soul. How do we grow emotionally? A good way that I have learned is in reading Christian psychology books such as by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend. Our emotional aspects of the soul are so complex that we ourselves cannot even fully understand ourselves. We need to constantly be learning about why people do what they do, and why we do what we do. I love learning more and more about psychology.
Most people are also greatly malnourished spiritually, even Christian people. A 5 minute quiet time per day is NOT enough to fulfill our spiritual appetite. The bible says to "pray without ceasing." I am constantly in prayer to God. I know he is always right there, walking beside me in everything I do. Also, listening to worship music in the car and everywhere you go helps to feed your spiritual aspect of the soul as well. God seeks to have a relationship with us, but most of us are too busy to even hear his voice anymore. The noise all around us is to much for Him to be able to speak to us. And then we wonder why we do not know God's will for our lives, because we never stop to listen.
What does God want to tell you? When was the last time you sat in silence for even 5 minutes to see what he would say to you? Try it. :)
May we all grow in each aspect of our souls and not neglect one and become unbalanced. May we all become more and more balanced every day. May we draw closer to God and each other. And may we continue to grow in our knowledge of the world as well.
May God bless you! :)
The four parts of the soul are our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs.
We cannot focus on one and neglect the others, or focus on three and neglect the fourth. If we do so we will function like a table with four legs that had one taken away. It cannot then stand on three legs. We as humans cannot function adequately if we do not tend to every part of our souls.
We think of the physical needs first because we are most conscious of these. The things we need to simply stay alive are food and water. Every creature created has physical needs.
But humans have 3 other parts of the soul that animals do not. We are capable of complex reasoning and thought. We have a concept of life after death and the inkling that there might be a God. We are able to cry and feel emotions. Animals cannot cry.
How often do we look at these other aspects of ourselves?
How often do we look at these aspects in others?
In marriage it is key to recognize and tend to each aspect of the soul in your spouse. Marriage and relationships need to be more than just a physical connection. It is meant to be so much more than that.
We are meant to connect emotionally, in sharing deep personal thoughts with each other. Sharing hopes and dreams and plans. Being vulnerable about our hurts with each other or just with life in general.
We are meant to connect spiritually in praying together and sharing new spiritual insights with each other, in worshipping in church together and fellowship with others in bible studies together.
And we are meant to connect mentally in reading and learning new things together. One can never stop learning. There are always, always new things to learn. "The fool thinks he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." We have never fully arrived intellectually. No matter how many books we have read or sermons we have listened to, there is always more knowledge to be gained.
We also have never fully arrived emotionally. This is the most neglected aspect of the soul by so many people. Christians seem to maintain every other aspect but the emotional aspect of the soul. How do we grow emotionally? A good way that I have learned is in reading Christian psychology books such as by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend. Our emotional aspects of the soul are so complex that we ourselves cannot even fully understand ourselves. We need to constantly be learning about why people do what they do, and why we do what we do. I love learning more and more about psychology.
Most people are also greatly malnourished spiritually, even Christian people. A 5 minute quiet time per day is NOT enough to fulfill our spiritual appetite. The bible says to "pray without ceasing." I am constantly in prayer to God. I know he is always right there, walking beside me in everything I do. Also, listening to worship music in the car and everywhere you go helps to feed your spiritual aspect of the soul as well. God seeks to have a relationship with us, but most of us are too busy to even hear his voice anymore. The noise all around us is to much for Him to be able to speak to us. And then we wonder why we do not know God's will for our lives, because we never stop to listen.
What does God want to tell you? When was the last time you sat in silence for even 5 minutes to see what he would say to you? Try it. :)
May we all grow in each aspect of our souls and not neglect one and become unbalanced. May we all become more and more balanced every day. May we draw closer to God and each other. And may we continue to grow in our knowledge of the world as well.
May God bless you! :)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Biblical Love
What does it mean that love is patient and kind? What does the Bible have to say about what love is? What should it consist of? What are it's components?
1 Cor. 13 states:
"Love is patient," meaning you don't try to change the person you love, but wait for them to grow on their own.
"Love is kind," meaning you are gentle and calm with the one you love.
"It does not envy," meaning their success is your success. When they are happy, you are happy. You want the best for them.
"It does not boast." You do not brag about all your accomplishment in such a way as to make the other person feel small. That is not love.
"It is not proud." You cannot be proud and love another at the same time; as pride is self-love. You have to choose either to love yourself more or the other person more.
"It does not dishonor others." When you love someone you want to protect their name and their character, as in do not gossip about them to others. In talking with others about them we are to honor them and speak of only good things regarding them.
"It is not self-seeking." You can either look out for your own interests or that of the other person. If it is a mutually loving relationship, you would not have to worry about meeting your own needs because the other person will. Your focus is to be on meeting their needs.
"It is not easily angered." Love seeks to find peace wherever possible. Everyone will have disagreements but love can accept differences calmly and peaceably. Anger comes when we want to get our own way. We need to allow others to be as they are. Anger seeks control, but in real love THERE IS FREEDOM.
"It keeps no record of wrongs." You know that you have truly forgiven someone when you never bring up the offense again. The past is in the past. We are not to keep bringing up previous offenses; as this does only harm, not good. I know this from personal experience. Bringing up anything negative from the past is NEVER a good idea. ;)
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." Love sees the truth about your spouse; that they are doing their best and that they have good intentions towards you. They are not purposely trying to hurt you, or they would not be married to you. Love does not believe the lies of the evil one. Satan will try to feed you lies all day every day about your spouse. DO NOT BELIEVE THEM.
"It always protects." Love wants to keep the other safe in every way; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This includes praying for each other. Love protects from allowing others to speak negatively about your spouse also.
Love "always trusts," because without trust there cannot be love. Trust is the foundation on which love is built.
Love "always hopes;" love always hopes for the best. Love does not despair about the other or the relationship.
Love "always perseveres;" love does not give up. Love stands in the fight. Love presses on even when things are not easy.
"Love never fails." If you truly love someone, as long as they are alive, it will not die. If you truly love someone, you cannot stop loving them. You are essentially glued to them. "The two become one flesh."
Scripture states about marriage, "What God has joined together let man not separate." If God has joined you together, it cannot be broken.
Love is not easy. It takes work and effort. It does not just come. As a farmer has to work his ground to produce a crop, so love has to be worked in order to work. Love is not a passive thing. It is active. It is a decision. It is a choice we make every day.
May God teach us all how to REALLY love one another. Many people think they are loving, but are we really loving?
May God bless you! :)
1 Cor. 13 states:
"Love is patient," meaning you don't try to change the person you love, but wait for them to grow on their own.
"Love is kind," meaning you are gentle and calm with the one you love.
"It does not envy," meaning their success is your success. When they are happy, you are happy. You want the best for them.
"It does not boast." You do not brag about all your accomplishment in such a way as to make the other person feel small. That is not love.
"It is not proud." You cannot be proud and love another at the same time; as pride is self-love. You have to choose either to love yourself more or the other person more.
"It does not dishonor others." When you love someone you want to protect their name and their character, as in do not gossip about them to others. In talking with others about them we are to honor them and speak of only good things regarding them.
"It is not self-seeking." You can either look out for your own interests or that of the other person. If it is a mutually loving relationship, you would not have to worry about meeting your own needs because the other person will. Your focus is to be on meeting their needs.
"It is not easily angered." Love seeks to find peace wherever possible. Everyone will have disagreements but love can accept differences calmly and peaceably. Anger comes when we want to get our own way. We need to allow others to be as they are. Anger seeks control, but in real love THERE IS FREEDOM.
"It keeps no record of wrongs." You know that you have truly forgiven someone when you never bring up the offense again. The past is in the past. We are not to keep bringing up previous offenses; as this does only harm, not good. I know this from personal experience. Bringing up anything negative from the past is NEVER a good idea. ;)
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." Love sees the truth about your spouse; that they are doing their best and that they have good intentions towards you. They are not purposely trying to hurt you, or they would not be married to you. Love does not believe the lies of the evil one. Satan will try to feed you lies all day every day about your spouse. DO NOT BELIEVE THEM.
"It always protects." Love wants to keep the other safe in every way; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This includes praying for each other. Love protects from allowing others to speak negatively about your spouse also.
Love "always trusts," because without trust there cannot be love. Trust is the foundation on which love is built.
Love "always hopes;" love always hopes for the best. Love does not despair about the other or the relationship.
Love "always perseveres;" love does not give up. Love stands in the fight. Love presses on even when things are not easy.
"Love never fails." If you truly love someone, as long as they are alive, it will not die. If you truly love someone, you cannot stop loving them. You are essentially glued to them. "The two become one flesh."
Scripture states about marriage, "What God has joined together let man not separate." If God has joined you together, it cannot be broken.
Love is not easy. It takes work and effort. It does not just come. As a farmer has to work his ground to produce a crop, so love has to be worked in order to work. Love is not a passive thing. It is active. It is a decision. It is a choice we make every day.
May God teach us all how to REALLY love one another. Many people think they are loving, but are we really loving?
May God bless you! :)
What Is Love
What does the Bible say that love is? Is it the same as what our culture says that it is?
No.
Our culture says that love is lust. But lust is NOT love. Lust is selfish, love is selfless. Lust is passion driven, love is thought driven. Lust is thought to be uncontrollable, a "falling into love," real love is a choice, a decision.
You don't "fall" in love; you either decide to love or not to love. It is a conscious choice. Just as much as you might decide to serve at a soup kitchen. You are not really loving someone until you can set yourself aside and serve the other person.
Love is caring for another person more than you care about yourself. It is wanting them to be happy no matter what. It is serving another person. Love is selfless. It is being able to forget yourself and focus on another person.
Love makes you a better person. Love makes you more humble and less concerned about your own well being all the time. Love helps you to grow unlike anything else can help you grow. Love helps you to see God in ways you never could before. Love helps you to see yourself in ways you never could before. :)
Loving someone makes you stronger. Loving someone teaches you how to take risks, how to put yourself out on a limb and look like an idiot for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes that is necessary daily. lol
Nothing can change who are as a person like learning to love someone and being loved in return by them.
I still cry sometimes because I miss my late husband. But, "better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." I agree with that saying. I am glad I could have the experience that I had. :)
And I know God has a reason for taking his life. I still am not sure what that is yet, but I am trusting that he's got everything covered. lol
Looking back on my time with him, we had a lot of fun together. We went to parks together a lot, went swimming a lot and talked a lot. He was my best friend, but we did have our fights.
I think we fought because the relationship was worth fighting for.
Fights also come as a result of being so close with someone. You bring up tough issues because you care about their well being. As Scripture says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." That is marriage; constantly being sharpened by each other. It is not always easy or fun, but it is good.
We supported each other financially whenever either of us needed it; we were a team.
Roger showed me that men could be different than ones I had known before. He showed me that men could be respectful and self-controlled. He always treated me like a lady.
We hit some rough spots when he tried to get off of his medication. He couldn’t sleep at night. He felt like he couldn’t breath.
That’s why I hate medication so much and thus my blog on medications, cause I had to watch what they did to him.
It wasn’t a perfect relationship but a perfect relationship does not exist, for anyone.
Everyone has issues and it will be hard no matter who you’re with.
But in the end it’s worth it.
Because life is much more enjoyable when you have a team mate to share it with. And life is much more doable when you have someone to pick you up when you fall.
Scripture says, "Two are better than one, for if one falls down, his friend can help him up." That was like our theme verse for our marriage.
It's also worth it because you learn to forget yourself for the other person and they learn how to serve you.
Love can be a beautiful way to grow into a better and more selfless person.
Love is not about what you can get from the other person, but about what you can give them.
It's about the joy you get from knowing their life was/is better because you were/are in it. :)
Are you making someone's life better?
I hope so.
In the movie "The Bucket List" Morgan Freeman says the Egyptians believed to get into heaven you would have to answer 3 questions. One was, "Did your live bring joy to others?"
May we all be able to say when our lives are over that our lives brought joy to many, many people. :) Amen?
God bless!
No.
Our culture says that love is lust. But lust is NOT love. Lust is selfish, love is selfless. Lust is passion driven, love is thought driven. Lust is thought to be uncontrollable, a "falling into love," real love is a choice, a decision.
You don't "fall" in love; you either decide to love or not to love. It is a conscious choice. Just as much as you might decide to serve at a soup kitchen. You are not really loving someone until you can set yourself aside and serve the other person.
Love is caring for another person more than you care about yourself. It is wanting them to be happy no matter what. It is serving another person. Love is selfless. It is being able to forget yourself and focus on another person.
Love makes you a better person. Love makes you more humble and less concerned about your own well being all the time. Love helps you to grow unlike anything else can help you grow. Love helps you to see God in ways you never could before. Love helps you to see yourself in ways you never could before. :)
Loving someone makes you stronger. Loving someone teaches you how to take risks, how to put yourself out on a limb and look like an idiot for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes that is necessary daily. lol
Nothing can change who are as a person like learning to love someone and being loved in return by them.
I still cry sometimes because I miss my late husband. But, "better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." I agree with that saying. I am glad I could have the experience that I had. :)
And I know God has a reason for taking his life. I still am not sure what that is yet, but I am trusting that he's got everything covered. lol
Looking back on my time with him, we had a lot of fun together. We went to parks together a lot, went swimming a lot and talked a lot. He was my best friend, but we did have our fights.
I think we fought because the relationship was worth fighting for.
Fights also come as a result of being so close with someone. You bring up tough issues because you care about their well being. As Scripture says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." That is marriage; constantly being sharpened by each other. It is not always easy or fun, but it is good.
We supported each other financially whenever either of us needed it; we were a team.
Roger showed me that men could be different than ones I had known before. He showed me that men could be respectful and self-controlled. He always treated me like a lady.
We hit some rough spots when he tried to get off of his medication. He couldn’t sleep at night. He felt like he couldn’t breath.
That’s why I hate medication so much and thus my blog on medications, cause I had to watch what they did to him.
It wasn’t a perfect relationship but a perfect relationship does not exist, for anyone.
Everyone has issues and it will be hard no matter who you’re with.
But in the end it’s worth it.
Because life is much more enjoyable when you have a team mate to share it with. And life is much more doable when you have someone to pick you up when you fall.
Scripture says, "Two are better than one, for if one falls down, his friend can help him up." That was like our theme verse for our marriage.
It's also worth it because you learn to forget yourself for the other person and they learn how to serve you.
Love can be a beautiful way to grow into a better and more selfless person.
Love is not about what you can get from the other person, but about what you can give them.
It's about the joy you get from knowing their life was/is better because you were/are in it. :)
Are you making someone's life better?
I hope so.
In the movie "The Bucket List" Morgan Freeman says the Egyptians believed to get into heaven you would have to answer 3 questions. One was, "Did your live bring joy to others?"
May we all be able to say when our lives are over that our lives brought joy to many, many people. :) Amen?
God bless!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Random Fav Songs
Music Box
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq6mwBvAZoU
Never Say Never
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJPPzPJi5ME
Baby, Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxRqsmwsQUc
God Blessed the Broken Road
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txhrK2iBmc0
Dreamlover
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-gIacEzCI0
I Turn to You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKyRiCxjYZw
That's the Way It Is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGlFKhrrYHk
From This Moment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpDIZJtL80A
Listen To Your Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wRkgEM14-s
A New Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVtM4ec_SkQ
I'm Alive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KwabQ9w7X0
Jesus Take the Wheel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QlEkK8K1gU
Lost
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuKiwZlgpcA
Angel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_pVGv_QAD0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq6mwBvAZoU
Never Say Never
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJPPzPJi5ME
Baby, Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxRqsmwsQUc
God Blessed the Broken Road
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txhrK2iBmc0
Dreamlover
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-gIacEzCI0
I Turn to You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKyRiCxjYZw
That's the Way It Is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGlFKhrrYHk
From This Moment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpDIZJtL80A
Listen To Your Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wRkgEM14-s
A New Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVtM4ec_SkQ
I'm Alive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KwabQ9w7X0
Jesus Take the Wheel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QlEkK8K1gU
Lost
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuKiwZlgpcA
Angel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_pVGv_QAD0
Friday, November 23, 2012
Christmas Karaoke :)
Breath of Heaven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEPbHWNN1bo
Rockin Around the Christmas Tree
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vBVjJ3WDPA
Jingle Bell Rock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVhPl5sBJSs
Let It Snow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFzngjYpzbg
Santa Claus is Comin to Town
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LirVrKfweO0
Silent Night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eEQdsqTDdA
Joy to the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21dyuCHDCZE
What Child Is This
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IFpPdZiQH0
White Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezR_KiiQ-48
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEPbHWNN1bo
Rockin Around the Christmas Tree
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vBVjJ3WDPA
Jingle Bell Rock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVhPl5sBJSs
Let It Snow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFzngjYpzbg
Santa Claus is Comin to Town
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LirVrKfweO0
Silent Night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eEQdsqTDdA
Joy to the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21dyuCHDCZE
What Child Is This
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IFpPdZiQH0
White Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezR_KiiQ-48
Oh Holy Night
my version of Oh Holy Night....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh-La6D-vHY&feature=youtu.be
I LOVE this Christmas song! It is so full of meaning and reverence.
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
(Before Christ came into the world humans were under the law. We were incapable of measuring up to God's standard of holiness on our own.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
(Christ brought hope that we could finally be brought close to God.)
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
(Christ's incarnation was the beginning of the new covenant of grace with humanity.)
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O holy night, O night divine!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
(In becoming man He, God, now can empathize with every trial we ever might go through.)
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
(We are all slaves to sin before our lives are regenerated by Christ.)
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh-La6D-vHY&feature=youtu.be
I LOVE this Christmas song! It is so full of meaning and reverence.
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
(Before Christ came into the world humans were under the law. We were incapable of measuring up to God's standard of holiness on our own.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
(Christ brought hope that we could finally be brought close to God.)
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
(Christ's incarnation was the beginning of the new covenant of grace with humanity.)
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O holy night, O night divine!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
(In becoming man He, God, now can empathize with every trial we ever might go through.)
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
(We are all slaves to sin before our lives are regenerated by Christ.)
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Laugh Your Way To a Better Marriage
What makes men and women happy? What do men and women really want in relationships? Mark Gungor answers these and many, many more questions. Check out these videos! :)
This guy is pretty hilarious. His knowledge and wisdom that he dispenses in these videos will help you immensely with whatever relationship you are in. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YIxVY9k7EC4
Good quotes: A woman comes up to a man and says, "What r u thinking about?" "Nothing." "Well you have to be thinking about something!" lol Because women are always, always thinking about something. :)
lol "When a woman is stressed she HAS to talk about it, because if she doesn't her brain will literally explode." lol
haha "And if you try and fix her she's gonna kill you!" lol nice :)
Good quotes: A woman comes up to a man and says, "What r u thinking about?" "Nothing." "Well you have to be thinking about something!" lol Because women are always, always thinking about something. :)
lol "When a woman is stressed she HAS to talk about it, because if she doesn't her brain will literally explode." lol
haha "And if you try and fix her she's gonna kill you!" lol nice :)
good quote "Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14?" Who would have known.
Also, "The women in magazine are air brushed, meaning even those women don't look like those women." lol so true! :)
wow.....So true! Everything he says in this is SO true! :) Another great clip.
This is the best description on the 4 basic temperament types that I have ever heard! I'm from the "fun" country. lol :) And my mom and brother could be said to be from the "perfect" country. Which country are you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=MlXcLU8xEJQ&feature=endscreen
May God help you increase in relational wisdom through these videos!
Be blessed!
Invigorating Songs
Check this song out. A lady in our church today got up to say what she was thankful for and then started singing this song, lol And we all joined in with her. It was pretty sweet! This is like the most uplifting song ever! :) Hope it blesses you :)
Because He Lives
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M-zwE33zHA&feature=related
Another amazing song :)
The Prayer with Celine Dion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbviXG_56ss&feature=related
And I feel this is the best performance of any song by any one ever! lol
Oh Holy Night with Celine Dion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OZ5MoUXKgc
Hope you were encouraged and invigorated by these songs! I know I was! lol
God bless!
Because He Lives
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M-zwE33zHA&feature=related
Another amazing song :)
The Prayer with Celine Dion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbviXG_56ss&feature=related
And I feel this is the best performance of any song by any one ever! lol
Oh Holy Night with Celine Dion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OZ5MoUXKgc
Hope you were encouraged and invigorated by these songs! I know I was! lol
God bless!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
What Are Your Spiritual Gifts?
We are all a part of the body of Christ, if Christ is in you.
Have you ever thought about what part of the body you are? Have you ever wondered what your spiritual gifts are? Most people have more than one. What are yours? :)
It may sound like an odd question, but Paul references this in 1 Cor. 12 when he says:
"Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body."
I believe I am the mouth, or A mouth of God's body the church, because I love to write, obviously, and I generally like to talk, depending on the situation and if I feel comfortable and accepted.
I believe my mom and my best friend are the ears, because they are both great listeners! They are both VERY comforting when I need someone to talk to.
I have also been the feet at times when I have gone on missions trips in high school when I was very active in sharing my faith with my class mates in school. I suppose I can kind of be the feet also in writting these blogs. I hope it is getting to many people. lol but I have no idea. :) May God be using what I write. :)
Some people are the eyes, meaning they have a vision. I would also say my best friend is the eyes, because she can see into the spiritual realm. She sees spiritual creatures ALL the time. In the movie the Exorcism of Emily Rose a lady says that some people are born as "sensitives" or seers, that can see the spiritual realm that the rest of us cannot. Sometimes I wish I could see what she sees, but most of the time I am glad I cannot lol.
Others are the heart; they are full of passion and excitement! This could also be part of my part. Most people I know say I have a lot of energy. lol
However there is also an element to the heart that I do not naturally have; compassion and knowing exactly what to do when other people are in pain. In the past I have felt a bit awkward about others' pain and not known how to empathize with them. Perahps I will be better in this in the future though. :)
It is possible to ask God to develop us into people to be other parts of the body. Paul says to "eagerly desire the greater gifts." Meaning I believe we can pray to receive them and BE different parts of the body. We are not stuck just being one part. We can develop ourselves and become other parts at different times in our lives.
He says, "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work."
All of our gifts are from God. They are different gifts, but this means we all have been given something BY GOD. One is not more needed than another. They are all needed to make up the body of the church. :)
Paul also says, "Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit."
I feel this would then be the person that is the mind in the body. Some people are smarter and can see more than others can. Wisdom is practical advice and application for life, where as knowledge is more like a knowledge of facts and the ability to recal several verses and biblical data. Wisdom knows how to apply those verses and concepts to life.
I believe my late husband had the gift of wisdom more then anyone I have ever known or seen. He KNEW God through and through it seemed. He understood completely what it means that God loves us. Not just the idea that God loves us, but he fully understood what that meant, and he shared this wisdom with me on several occassions, which was very good.
I have prayed on countless occasions that God would give me wisdom, and I think He has. Perhaps that request came with a cost though, because I know He has used all the hard times in my life to make me more wise. We do not become more wise when things are easy, but when things are very, very hard. So if you pray for wisdom, watch out, God may make you hit rock bottom before He can give you what you ask for. He may have to bring you to the end of yourself first, as He has done with me on several occasions.
"To another faith by the same Spirit." I believe this person could be said to be the soul in the body. They know deep inside of them that everything is going to be ok. They do not question God. They have faith that He is always good, no matter what! And they never give up, on themselves, God, or others.
I thought I had this gift, but there have been many times when I have given up. When things got hard, I didn't have faith that they would turn out better, so I would just quit and give up. But may God help me to have more faith in myself and others in the future.
"To another gifts of healing by that one Spirit." This is the one that the church is most skeptical of these days, but I have seen people with this gift. Go to River Church in Costa Mesa Wed.'s from 8-9. People have been healed there; from cancer, from a bad back etc. God still uses people in the church today to heal other people. But you have to believe it is possible in order to be healed. :) "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can move mountains" right?
The person with the gift of healing could be said to be the hands in the body, because they use their hands to heal and help others.
"To another miraculous powers." People CAN still perform miracles. We do not see it much today because we are very skeptical and try to explain everything away by science. But I believe it is still possible to do miracles as the apostles in the early church and Jesus did. These people would be the spirit in the body, for it is through the power of the Holy Spirit that they would be able to perform miracles.
"To another prophecy." This gift would be to the people that are the eyes in the body. Some people can still prophesy and see the future. Sometimes this is through dreams. I have heard of a few people who have had dreams prophesying what could be the future of America. Time will tell of these prophecies will come true though.
"To another distinguishing between spirits." This may sound odd but I believe this person would be the nose in the body. They can smell if something is fishy lol. Or if the spirit inside someone else or in a room is evil or good.
My late husband had this ability. He could look at someone and tell if they had evil inside of them. I knew a lady at my old church who said she would look at some people in our church and just see black, meaning their hearts were black. God manifests this gift in different ways I believe. My brother sees auras, which I am not sure if that is from God or not, but it's possible.
"To another speaking in different kinds of tongues." I believe this is strictly speaking say in French when you had not formally learned French. That is what happened at the day of Pentecost. The disciples were speaking in languages they had never learned. This is used to spread the gospel further. This person would be the mouth in the body, in that they can share the gospel with people ALL over the world in every language possible with this gift. Now that would be exciting! lol :)
"And to still another the interpretation of tongues." This would mean that God supernaturally gave someone in the church the ability to interpret the French spoken even if they were never taught French etc.
"All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines."
It is up to the Spirit to give these gifts. We can pray for different gifts, but it is ultimately His decision on who gets what. But they are all needed, and they are all necessary.
May God reveal to you what your gift is! May he speak to you what part in the body you are. You have an important role to play! So figure out what that is and go do it! lol :)
God bless!
God Is In the Small Stuff
Did God just create the world and then sit back and watch it passively?
No, he is involved in EVERY activity of our everyday lives. We would see Him if we would just open our eyes to really see. Jesus said, "To those who have ears to hear and eyes to see." We all have ears and we all have eyes, but how many of us REALLY see and REALLY hear......God. He is ALL around us. He is in everything we do, every person we see. I love the end of one of Hopkin's poems "As Kingfishers." He concludes by saying:
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells; (God dwells inside of each of us, and we display Him)
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells, (We all cannot help but express as we were made)
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.
Í say móre: the just man justices;
Kéeps gráce: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is—
Chríst—for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men’s faces.
God is IN all of us, because we are all made in God's image. Do we see that? Do we REALLY see that? Do we see that HE is ALL around us, in other people? The next time you want to get mad at another human being, remember, God is in that person and God made that person. :)
Look for God. You will begin to see him more and more in everything all around you, if you want to. :)
Wisdom from the book God Is In the Small Stuff:
"We want to encourage you to see how God is involved in the details of your life. We know that you can appreciate God's existence when you see a beautiful sunset or a star-filled sky." Amen! He is in everything.
"We know we can sense His presence when miraculous events occasionally happen to you...like walking away unharmed from a car crash." That has happened to me a few times. He has saved me from so, so many things!
"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is RIGHT beside me." Ps. 16:8 Amen!
"The more you remember what God has done in your lives in the past, the more you will see Him at work in your lives in the present....If you spend all of your time thinking about what God will do for you in the future, you'll forget what God has done for you in the past."
aka. count your blessings :) We all have SO MUCH to be thankful for if we would just remember all that God has given us throughout our lives. :)
"You can see God at work without looking to hard: restored health from an injury or illness; a financial crisis averted; the safe trip; the new job; the healthy baby; all of those things you prayed about and God answered, but you have since forgotten."
Here's what God did for me. He has "taken me from the miry clay and set my feet upon the rock. Now I know.... I love you, I need you. Though my world may fall I'll never let you go. My Savior, my closest friend."
HE took me out of the shame I had of my past, the miry clay that I was in. He showed me how much he loved me, that I could do great things. He gave me hope for my future. He told me I was his child, since my father left me fatherless in doing what he did. He helped me believe in myself again. He helped me see all the gifts he gave me. He helped me to have confidence in myself again. He gave me mentors and several, several people in my life to show me the path.
He still picks me up EVERY TIME I am down. He listens to everything I ever want to say to Him. He is always there for me. He is always there to show me He loves me when I need Him to. He is my life sustainer and my only provider that matters. He is....everything I need, and I know that He is abundantly in me and all around me!
"God remembers what He has done for you lately. Do you?"
"If you are having a difficult time being thankful, the problem may be your memory." lol :)
"Take time to tell someone what God has done for you." I would add to that, don't just tell one person, tell the world! :)
God is all around you. Will you open your eyes to see Him?
May God give us all eyes to TRULY see and ears to TRULY hear His presence everywhere. Amen.
Be blessed! :)
No, he is involved in EVERY activity of our everyday lives. We would see Him if we would just open our eyes to really see. Jesus said, "To those who have ears to hear and eyes to see." We all have ears and we all have eyes, but how many of us REALLY see and REALLY hear......God. He is ALL around us. He is in everything we do, every person we see. I love the end of one of Hopkin's poems "As Kingfishers." He concludes by saying:
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells; (God dwells inside of each of us, and we display Him)
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells, (We all cannot help but express as we were made)
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.
Í say móre: the just man justices;
Kéeps gráce: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is—
Chríst—for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men’s faces.
God is IN all of us, because we are all made in God's image. Do we see that? Do we REALLY see that? Do we see that HE is ALL around us, in other people? The next time you want to get mad at another human being, remember, God is in that person and God made that person. :)
Look for God. You will begin to see him more and more in everything all around you, if you want to. :)
Wisdom from the book God Is In the Small Stuff:
"We want to encourage you to see how God is involved in the details of your life. We know that you can appreciate God's existence when you see a beautiful sunset or a star-filled sky." Amen! He is in everything.
"We know we can sense His presence when miraculous events occasionally happen to you...like walking away unharmed from a car crash." That has happened to me a few times. He has saved me from so, so many things!
"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is RIGHT beside me." Ps. 16:8 Amen!
"The more you remember what God has done in your lives in the past, the more you will see Him at work in your lives in the present....If you spend all of your time thinking about what God will do for you in the future, you'll forget what God has done for you in the past."
aka. count your blessings :) We all have SO MUCH to be thankful for if we would just remember all that God has given us throughout our lives. :)
"You can see God at work without looking to hard: restored health from an injury or illness; a financial crisis averted; the safe trip; the new job; the healthy baby; all of those things you prayed about and God answered, but you have since forgotten."
Here's what God did for me. He has "taken me from the miry clay and set my feet upon the rock. Now I know.... I love you, I need you. Though my world may fall I'll never let you go. My Savior, my closest friend."
HE took me out of the shame I had of my past, the miry clay that I was in. He showed me how much he loved me, that I could do great things. He gave me hope for my future. He told me I was his child, since my father left me fatherless in doing what he did. He helped me believe in myself again. He helped me see all the gifts he gave me. He helped me to have confidence in myself again. He gave me mentors and several, several people in my life to show me the path.
He still picks me up EVERY TIME I am down. He listens to everything I ever want to say to Him. He is always there for me. He is always there to show me He loves me when I need Him to. He is my life sustainer and my only provider that matters. He is....everything I need, and I know that He is abundantly in me and all around me!
"God remembers what He has done for you lately. Do you?"
"If you are having a difficult time being thankful, the problem may be your memory." lol :)
"Take time to tell someone what God has done for you." I would add to that, don't just tell one person, tell the world! :)
God is all around you. Will you open your eyes to see Him?
May God give us all eyes to TRULY see and ears to TRULY hear His presence everywhere. Amen.
Be blessed! :)
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