Dads, Pain and Death

If you have not heard Joyce Meyer's testimony please watch this.  It is the most powerful testimony ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsqhFjXNbWg

Joyce says, "My father rapped me from 12 to 18....How can that have happened to me and me stand here before you today in the condition I'm in today if God is not alive and well on planet earth?  How is that possible without God?"  Amen!

"The biggest black eye that you can give the devil is to give God your pain and let Him turn it into gain, to give him your mess and let it become your message."

They say, "Your greatest passion comes from your greatest pain."  My greatest passion is helping children and making them happy, since I was not happy in my childhood. 

"When I tell you that I know what it is to hurt, you believe me.....I'll never know what it's like to have a great dad....I'll never know what it's like to be hurting and go get coffee with my dad."

Amen Joyce, likewise I can say very much that I know what it is to hurt.  I also do not know what it's like to have a great dad.  There have been many things that have triggered the pain of this and reminded me that my situation is/was not normal.  For example, songs like Butterfly Kisses or Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman. 

Listen to these....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftQVud5NUOs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_x-XyTUbkF4
Those songs make me cry every time I hear them. :(

I will never know what it means to kiss my dad innocently.  I will never know what it is to dance with my dad innocently.  I do not even talk to my dad anymore.  But God healed me.  And God has been my dad ever since I was six.  He is much better then any biological dad could be anyways. :)

My second greatest pain was loosing my late husband.  My biggest fear in the world before I lost him was loosing him.  And I did.  But now that I'm on the other end of that I can see that God IS sufficient for everything we go through.  He CAN take care of us!  It doesn't matter what happens to us, God can CARRY us through it.  Do you believe it?

So do not be afraid.  Do not fear about your future.  Even if the thing you fear most does happen, God will take care of you.  Just trust Him.  :)  He is always looking out for you.  He loves you. 

Remember, Scripture says, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit." Ps. 34

Joyce says in her book Living Beyond Your Feelings, "I have realized that we not only grow spiritually in our trials, but we grow much more than we ever do when everything is going well."  Thus my favorite quote, "Growth does not happen on the hilltops, but in the valleys."  When we go through pain and hard times it is then that we are the most pliable.  It is then that God can shape us most into who He wants us to become.

Just because bad things happen to us does not mean that God does not love us.  We live in a fallen world.  We need to keep reminding ourselves of that.  And Satan is the king of this world currently.  Therefore, bad things WILL happen, BUT God can get us through them. 

Joyce says in her book regarding Joshua, who was to lead the Israelites after Moses died, "God never promised him that he wouldn't feel fear, but he told him to confront his fear and move past it....God has a good plan for your life, but Satan will use fear to make an effort to steal that good plan."  Don't let him! 

Satan tried fear on me many times when I was with Roger.  He tried to tell me that I couldn't trust Roger.  That he would be just like my dad.  I had a very hard time not listening to those fears.  Now that Roger is no longer alive, Satan tries to tell me there is no hope for my future now.  He tries to feed me lies to keep me feeling sad and in despair.

Joyce says in her chapter "Handling Loss," "Waves of sadness roll over you like the ocean's tide.  Just when you think you're feeling better, another one crashes up against you."  Pretty much.  When someone you love dies it is the strangest thing, especially when it was completely unexpected.  I wish he would have died slowly from cancer, but it was like a shot in the dark. 

Joyce says, "Researchers have learned that dealing with the death of a loved one requires the same amount of energy as working a full-time job."  Can you imagine!  I knew this was hard and yes part of me thinks how on earth could I be working in this time.  I feel as though I have half the energy I used to. 

But I still have a glimmer of hope that God still has something big waiting for me.  The game of life might be over for Roger, but it's not over for me yet.  There is still life to be lived.  Though Satan has tried to knock me down on several, several occasions I won't let him win.  I will keep fighting, keep climbing and keep hoping.  God isn't finished with me yet.  He still has things for me to do. 

If you feel as though you have been kicked around by life as well, do not loose heart.  God still has great plans for you too. :)   

Amen?  Amen! 

May God heal you of any past wounds you might have and give you courage to face your future! 

God bless and take care! :)