A Poem

When You Died

 

When you died, I couldn't believe it.

 

It still seems sometimes like it's a bad dream I will wake up from any day now.

Like someone will call and say they made a mistake,

 

You're not really dead, you just went away for awhile, and you'll be back soon.

 

 

From the moment I saw you I knew I would love you as long as you lived.

I knew I cared deeply about you instantly.

People say love at first sight is not real, but I know it is, cause I lived it.

I thought I would be married to you for 50 plus years.

I wanted you to be the father of my children.

You would have been such an amazing dad!

 

 

So much time with you I took for granted.

I wish I would have been nicer to you.

I wish we would have done more things, though we did do a lot together.

I never thought it would be over so soon, so fast, so abruptly.

That lifetime with you is over now, and my, how much I miss you.

I miss talking with you.

I miss singing to you and making you smile.

I miss seeing you come home looking like a total stud in your uniform. lol

 

 

The first time you held me in your arms,

All the walls I had held up for so long just came crashing down.

My heart melted inside of me.

The first time you kissed my head it was completely magical.

Like that scene in Pocahontas when the wind and the leaves swirl around her and John Smith together.

I felt all the forces of nature were surrounding us, encapsulating us, gluing us together in that moment.

I felt that the angels were smiling down on us and God was saying, "Yes!"

I had never felt such a magical bond with someone.

 

 

In that moment I knew you were the one.

I knew God wanted me to be with you.

I knew God wanted me to take care of you and do everything I could in my power for you.

And I knew that you would take care of me and love me more than anyone had ever loved me.

And you did.

 

 

You were the most caring, honest, humble and kind person I had ever known.

I still cannot believe how much you cared about me and tried to help me with everything.

You were truly an angel sent from God into my life, and I will be eternally grateful for the amazing gift He gave me in you.

You taught me so much, and I owe you so much.

 

Sometimes it hurts so much that your gone now, life hurts, being alone hurts.

 

 

I know you are so much happier in heaven now , but I wish you would have waited for me.

We always joked that when our kids were grown and 30 or 40 or so we would go out on a motorcycle one day and not come back.

Cause we wanted to get taken out together, at the same time.

None of this one missing the other business.

But you jumped the gun man.

You didn't stick with the plan.

You left me in the dust. :(

I forgive you, but next time, wait up for me ok. :)

I know God has a purpose in all this but it's so hard to see sometimes.

I am glad that you are extremely happy now in heaven.

But I miss you. I hope you know how much I miss you!

And I can't wait to see you again someday.

I will have SO much to tell you when I get to heaven! :)

And I know you will have so much to tell me.

 

 

It won’t be easy for me to forget about you.

But why would I want to forget about someone so wonderful?

It was amazing while it lasted.

"Better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" right?

That's what they say anyways.

 

 

I will always remember watching the crazy lightning storms in Nebraska with you,

And swimming with you,

And watching our favorite movie "Due Date" with you and laughing till we cried.

I will always remember how we would talk for 5 hours at a time and it seemed like only 5 minutes had passed by.

Time certainly seemed to fly by when we were together.

I remember at the beginning how incredibly strange that was to both of us,

realizing how much time had passed and we were still talking.

But I never got tired of being around you.

I always had more to say to you.

 

 

You were my rock in so many ways, and you kept my feet on the ground.

You had the most amazing heart, so full of life and love.

You had been through so much, but no one would have ever known.

You had so much drive, so much passion, and so much love for God and people!

You will always be a part of me, no matter where you are.

And I will never forget you.

 

Roger,

I love you. :)

 

May God be blessing you abundantly in heaven!

And may you be supremely happy! :)