Neil
Postman says in his book Victory Over the Darkness, “external
appearance, accomplishment and recognition don’t necessarily reflect, or
produce, internal peace and maturity.”
I relied on my
looks most of my teenage years to gain love and acceptance. I was always fairly attractive so it usually
worked.
I relied on my
many accomplishments to bring me fulfillment.
I did all the extra-curricular activities I could do.
I wanted to get
the grades to get into the good college to get the good job to have the good
life that all Americans seem to be striving for. We have the right to the pursuit of life,
love and happiness right? But how does
one get there?
After finally
getting my college degree I could echo what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes. It is all a chasing after the wind. “ ‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Everything is meaningless! What does man gain from all his labor at
which he toils under the sun?....Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and
as he comes, so he departs.” (Ecc. 1:2-3
, 5:15 ) Any accomplishment we make does not matter in
the long run. Anything that will gain us
earthly glory will not matter in eternity.
Also, no amount of accomplishments will fill the God-shaped hole inside
any of us.
Augustine once
said, “our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.” Solomon tried to find fulfillment in what the
world could offer but he found that is was impossible.
One of my favorite
verses in the Bible is when Solomon says, “I saw that all labor and all
achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor” (Ecc. 4:4) The entire reason we are motivated to
accomplish more, to not just get a B.A. but a Masters and then a Doctorate is
because we envy our neighbor. Why else
do we strive and strive and strive. We
all want to be the best. We are all
competing against each other. This is
why scripture says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Tim.
6:6). Also I once read “a happy person
is the one who wants what he has.”
After college I
also came to echo what Paul says in Philippians. “If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put
confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eight day, of the
people of Israel
In our modern time
it would be the same as him saying I have a B.A. as a double major in biochemistry
and mechanical engineering. I have a
masters in Engineering and a doctorate in Biochemical Warfare. I did everything that our society says to do
to be successful. I have the biggest
house in the country. I own all the
latest cars.
In Paul’s day
religious credentials were more important than money or status like in our
current culture. My, how far we have
fallen from biblical days.
Despite his
reasons that he could be arrogant he goes on to say, “But whatever was to my
profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss
compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord, for whose
sake I have lost all things. I consider
them rubbish, that I may gain Christ” (Phil. 3:7-8). Paul says it is all worthless. Not only worthless but actually a hindrance
to his pursuit of becoming more like Christ.
That is why he considers them rubbish.
Rubbish is a kind
interpretation. The actual word in Greek
means excrement. In comparison to the
glory of knowing Christ, his accomplishments could be found in a dumpster. He is saying, there is no comparison.
Jesus said to the
rich young ruler, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and
give the money to the poor” (Mt. 19:20 ). After the man refused Jesus said, “it is
easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to
enter the kingdom
of God 19:24 ). His money held him back. Little did he realize his money, like
someone’s accomplishment, was like a chain that he carried around. His wealth prevented him from being free to
follow Christ. Jesus said, “no servant
can serve two masters…he will hate the one and love the other” (Luke 16:13 ). One cannot love both God and money.
The same is true
for people who have great intelligence or amazing athletic ability or a great
singing voice. I had all these things
and they have only hindered my walk from growing more with Jesus. It is like walking in molasses or running in
the sand, because my focus has very much been on myself.
Look at all the
things I can do. Instead I should say, no
it is because of God and God alone that I have accomplished as much as I
have. There is no way I should have been
able to get straight A’s and finish college considering all that I have been
through. God is the reason I have any of
my abilities. He is the source of anyone’s
talent and knowledge, because he made every one of us. David wrote, “For you created my inmost
being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Ps. 139:13). We did not make ourselves, as some like to
think, God made us.
It is so easy for
our ego to overwhelm us when we are excel at anything, but pride is very
dangerous. Pride is essentially the root
of all sin, because pride is relying on ourselves instead of God. We make ourselves our own God.
Pride says, “I
don’t need God’s or anyone’s help, thank you.
I am fine on my own. I may have
fallen down but I can get myself up.
Don’t help me. I got this.”
I said all that to
myself for years; more lies from Satan.
I was Ms. Independent. I did not
think I needed anyone and I would not let anyone in.
Behind the mask of
pride and bravado was really a very insecure girl. I would not accept help from God or anyone
else because I was incapable of trust due to what my father did. Often times, the people who seem the most
secure and the most like they have everything under control have a tornado
raging on the inside, in their heart.
I was afraid to
let anyone else in to hurt me.
However, someone finally
got into my heart, and that was my late husband.
He was the first one to make it across enemy lines without getting shot,
and he has stood strong with me even when the tornadoes rage.
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