I feel like the next topic God wants me to write about is failed expectations. This is the number one cause of anger. If you think about it, every time you got angry at someone else it was because you had an expectation of them that didn't happen. Expecting things is really another word for trying to control others. It's good to have faith and hope for the best, but when we expect to many things that actually can turn into witchcraft. Witchcraft is trying to make other people do what you want them to do. So be very careful of this, of expecting things from others and trying to control them.
I remember when I met my ex husband 7 years ago he had a very serious expectation that I would go to the gym with him every day. But I have never been a gym person. I love to play sports like tennis and basketball, but I have never cared much for gyms, mainly because they are boring. I have always tried to go on walks every day or ride my bike once a week, but I've never been a gym person who always strives to have the perfect body. I see that as loving the world and we are supposed to focus on God mainly, not on having the perfect body. But my ex husband expected that of me and then was very angry when I did not comply to the gym thing. He also had an expectation that I would wear lots of make up. But I hate make up.
He and I probably rushed into marriage to fast for sure and that's why he resented that I wasn't all the things that he wanted. Our marriage was super fast, only 2 weeks after we met. We met online, talked on the phone, met for lunch and then married at a courthouse 2 weeks later. I finally wanted kids at the age of 28 and he did so that was the main objective of our marriage really. And we had two beautiful girls, Joy and Serenity, so praise God for them. But there wasn't a ton of love between me and him because he had all these expectations and I always, for our 7 years of marriage, felt he didn't really approve of me. I never felt like I was enough for him. I felt he wanted me to be thinner or make glamorous etc. Spiritually he also expected me to get into praying in tongues and falling in the spirit. I finally acquired the gift of tongues about a year ago but still have not "fallen in the spirit" and never intend to. I still think it's weird. But he loves that and thinks it's awesome.
I really didn't expect anything of him except to provide for me being pregnant and raising kids, and he did for a long time. Praise God. My dream had always been to be a stay at home mom and I got to be, for the past 7 years, and I am very grateful for that.
It's funny because people generally think women want to much but guys are simple, but some guys can really expect a lot too.
But at some point if someone isn't happy with you, you just have to say oh well, they will probably never be happy with me, because it's impossible for them to BE happy. It's their problem, not yours. :)
My mom was like that growing up too. Nothing was ever good enough for her. She could never be impressed. I graduated high school with a 4.3 GPA. She never said good job. At least I don't remember her saying it. I got my B.A. in English. I had no expression of good job from her being or a feeling of her being super proud of me. I have never felt like my mom was proud of me, even though I thought she had a ton of reasons to be.
That all sounds like complaining, but all that is just to say, be careful of expecting to much of others, because if you do, you will make them feel like crap. I love the saying "People won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel." And that is so true.
Ultimately there is really no point to try expecting anything from anyone. We can hope for things. Like we can hope that whoever we are in a relationship with will stick with us, but we cannot force them to. Life happens. People change. And we just have to accept that.
Be careful of having expectations of others. People are free agents and will ultimately do what they want to do. You cannot force anyone to do anything, unless you become a psycho lol. Give people freedom. Let them make their own choices and decisions. Don't try to mother them or control them, or else they will only resent you. Love gives people freedom. That is why God gives us freedom. ;)
May God bless you all!
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