Relationships

Probably the number one thing I need to work on in interpersonal relationships is submission.  I have always had a hard time submitting to those over me.  It didn't help that my dad molested me as a kid, so I haven always had a hard time respecting authority.  I read in a book like 10 years ago that Satan will give a woman reasons why she should think her husband doesn't deserve to be the head of the home and then she will try to be the head. This might be what God meant in the curse when he said to the woman "Your desire shall be for your husband but he shall rule over you."  That could have meant a love desire, like how us women can get a bit boy crazy and think we need a tall, strong man in our life or we will die, :) or it could have meant a desire for control.  If so, then a power struggle was introduced into love relationships with the fall. And this can be seen in any man/woman relationship now; there is a constant power struggle.  Both always want to be in charge, but biblically, the man is supposed to be in charge and to be the head.  If a woman is strong though, it will take a man who is even stronger to be able to be the head over her. :)

I remember my older brother asking me once, "So how are you going to find a leader if you are a leader?"  Like for marriage.  I was like, "I don't know that's a good question."  I suppose he could always tell I had a very strong personality.  I tend to be very dominant and I don't really know how to not be.  I probably would have made a great missionary, but I tried to be married instead. :)  Tried being the key word. lol.  No, we were mostly happy for 7 years of marriage. :) And I'm still trying to be married now to someone else, because the single life sucks, I think anyways.

 I think for sure this was an issue with me and my ex husband.  My reason for not submitting to him more was his horrible memory.  He lost something almost every day and it drove me nuts.  That caused me to not respect him as much because he seemed more like a child then. I think he smoked too much pot in his younger years. lol.  I really did have a hard time respecting him our whole marriage.  He was very tall, so that helped me to respect him.  And he did work like 14 hour days our whole marriage, so I respected that about him a lot.  But our theology was always very different so that made it hard for me to respect him.  He was very much into getting "slain in the spirit" and I have always seen that as completely demonic. So that was our main issue of tension, and really probably why our marriage didn't make it.  I knew from week 1 that we had this major difference in our spiritual beliefs but we got married anyways.  I hoped it wouldn't matter to much or it would blow over.  I thought maybe it was just a phase for him, but no, he's been into that for the past 12 years and won't give it up.  I don't understand it and we fear most what we don't understand.

Anyways, so that caused me to not respect him as much because I always thought, "Do you see that in the Bible? No.  So why would you think it's biblical?"

I have a strong healthy fear of Satan and witchcraft and false Christianity that looks like God and the Holy Spirit but it's actually demonic, but he never has, sadly.  So that was always an issue for us. 
Anyways, it can be easy for us women to find holes in our man's armor and see them as not being a capable leader that we need, but may God help us with this. :)

I currently have an awesome boyfriend whom I love very much.  I haven't seen any holes in his armor yet, except that he complains too much at times. lol :) But otherwise I think he is a strong man I could submit to my whole life.  So praise God for that!  He plays guitar, which is awesome.  He is a great dad. We both love, love going to church and worship.  And he loves God as much as I do so that's great!  I pray that we will be together for the next 40 years. :)

  I don't know though because some doctor only gave him like 5 years left to live 7 years ago, but all things are possible to those who believe.  Maybe that doctor had no idea what he was talking about that day lol.  He is a great guy and I praise God for sending him to me.  His name is Bryan.  Please pray for us.  Thanks all!

I hope you all can find a great person too!  God loves you!  And he will give you the desires of your heart.  Just serve him as best you can and he will bless you.  Amen.  God bless!