Forgiveness and Motherhood

Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Forgiveness isn't always easy. Sometimes people hurt you so much that it's almost unbelievable.  But if you want to give yourself peace, you have to forgive them.

Being kind is the key to forgiveness and being tender hearted. If you don't have a tender heart you are almost totally unable to forgive anyone.  If you choose to have a rock hard heart you won't be capable of feeling love for anyone or forgiving anyone.  Forgiveness is the biggest cornerstone of love.  You can't truly love until you know how to forgive others well.

I have always felt that the main fruit of the spirit that I need to work on is gentleness.  If you aren't gentle, you can't really love others.  Having my two daughters helped me grow in this a lot.  I think people who have raised kids are generally much more gentle then those who haven't, because they have had to be gentle with their babies and children.

So many people in our modern world greatly lack the ability to be tender.  Women now are trying to become men.  Thanks to feminism and the drive of women to get out and work there is a huge lack of tenderness in our modern society.  I think that's why everyone is so angry all the time, because they did not get good tender love from their mothers as a child because their mothers were too busy working which made them exhausted.

 I know my mom was always a working mom and it seemed she didn't have any energy left for me.  That's why I always promised myself I wouldn't have kids unless I didn't have to work and I could stay home with my kids.  And I was blessed to get to do that for 7 years, praise God. :) I greatly appreciate the time I got to have with my girls.  But then I got driven and felt I needed to start a teaching career and I started neglecting my girls at home some to do online classes.  And then my family fell apart, my ex husband went crazy, and I lost it all.  My girls and ex husband went to live with his mom.  Women, you simply can't pursue a career and have a successful family at the same time.  And men, you have to choose between having more money or having a happy wife.  You probably should pick having a happy wife over having more money.

Women working generally is a bad idea.  I wish I was born in the 20's when women weren't expected to work, but now there is such high expectations on women to clean, cook, care for children, AND work.  It's insanity really.  No wonder so many women now are so pissed off.  And no wonder so many men in our modern cutlure have become so lazy.  Almost every single man expects his woman to work, which is fine if they don't plan to have kids.  But if a couple wants to have kids, the woman should never work, so she can be home with her kids.  But so many men now are still boys and they don't want to carry the load or providing by themselves, even though they are perfectly capable of doing so. But the woman is carrying the load of raising kids by herself so why should the man not be the only bread winner?

Of course it doesn't help if the woman has a spending problem.  But in every couple both people have their own vices to work on. Generally women shop and spend money and men drink beer to numb the anger they probably feel over their wives spending so much.  This is why Paul said, "Those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you of this." Marriage is hard no matter who it is that you marry and no matter where you live.

But keep this in mind, if you are married and hope to have kids, the woman needs to stay home. If you want to raise good kids, let the woman stay home.  She will be happier and the kids will be and that means the father will be as well.  And women, take a load off.  Stop trying to do it all yourself. Let the man take care of you and trust him that he can.  Whatever you expect of him is what he will do.  So believe in him.  And trust him.  Focus on your kids, not on always trying to make more money.  "The love of money is the root of all evil." ;)

May God bless you all!