The fastest way to kill any relationship is through lies and gossip. When you talk to other people a lot about a person in negative ways, the relationship will probably end. Also if you don't respect that person enough to not lie to them, your relationship probably won't last.
I could say tons about those two topics but I'll just say that over the past year my ex husband lied to me about 20 times and his mom lied to me and him about 10 times so that's why I decided to be done for now with Ben and his family. I let them have our two girls for now and I have distanced myself from them and all the craziness so that I would not go crazy. I can't handle lying. It's my number one pet peeve. And I definitely can't handle people that can't stop talking about other people. It's like come on, have some self-control. My goodness. Find a different hobby.
The gossip was absolutely horrendous with my ex husband's family. Everyone talks about everybody and every tiny little thing that anyone does. I guess that was their hobby. I can find other things to talk about rather then critical things about every single person in my family. I vent sometimes about people, but I'm not going to do that 24/7. That's SO destructive and I don't get why people don't realize how damaging it can be to a family. I guess their goal was to destroy our family, or they just didn't realize that it probably would destroy our family.
So I have enjoyed taking a big step back from that this past 5 months. I talk to almost no one now except my best friend Ashley and my new co-workers. They tried to rope me into the gossip mud bath but I said no thank you to that. I have never been much into gossiping and I never will be. It doesn't do any good. It only brings about harm. And you only feel like a horrible person after doing it.
Typically women are the only ones who gossip but men can to. Don't do it.
Here are some good verses on the subject:
Proverbs 20:19 "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler." If someone tells you secrets, keep their secrets to yourself. Don't betray them. And your words should have meaning to them. Don't just talk just to talk. Learn something and teach something from the words used.
Proverbs 16:28 "A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends." Yep.
Proverbs 11:13 "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered." Yep.
Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Amen. :) If you feel dirty after talking to someone maybe you shouldn't talk like that anymore. I think lots of people have of insecurity and depression due to the ongoing negative conversations they choose to have. Then they have anxiety that others will find out what they have been talking about. The solution is to only say words that you would later on be proud of. :)
Proverbs 26:20 "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." If you want to stop pissing people off around you, stop talking badly about them. If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all. People might think for a time they like hearing all the juicy gossip about everyone they can, but in the end they will feel bad for looking down on others.
Gossip comes from pride. You think you are better then that other person and so you feel justified to think they are horrible and then cause everyone else to think they are horrible too. But are you really that great? I mean really? Is anyone really all that great? No. None of us are. So we can't ever get up on our high horse and look down on others. No matter what their sin is, you have plenty of sins too. "He is without sin cast the first stone." Don't throw stones at others and what they do or don't do until you are perfect. Which will mean you will never be able to, justifiably.
Just be nice.
God bless! :)
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