Heartbreak

 One of my favorite songs when I was young was by Mariah Carey called Heartbreaker. "Heartbreaker you got the best of me, but I just keep on coming back incessantly." It had a fun beat. It made it sound like that was a good idea to do that. No, if someone keeps breaking your heart, you probably should leave them alone, at least for a season. Give them the space they clearly want. The main reason people are mean to other people is because they just want to be left alone for a while. So let them be alone. 

I remember one of my exes said to me, "You don't have to start a fight with me just because you need a nap. Just take a nap." That was a good word. 

My sister in law has a broken heart now. My brother keeps breaking up with her. He says it's because she doesn't rinse her dishes. That can be pretty annoying when people don't do that, but I'm sure there is more. Over a year ago his dog died. He had that dog for about 14 years since he was a puppy. It was like his second son. He said in that time he felt like he wanted to die. That was the last time he broke up with his lady. I'm sure he just wanted to be alone to grieve. 

I was thinking today of the song, "I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something it won't." That was my song when my ex-husband and I broke up. What the song meant to me was I couldn't make him be nice to me. He was raised to become a jerk because his dad was a jerk. We often are exactly like our parents, no matter how hard we try not to be. My brother is a big time jerk just like our dad was, but I know he doesn't want to be a jerk. He is just following what he saw modeled for his 42 years of life by our dad. My dad really didn't know how to be kind. My brother also has a very hard time knowing how to be kind. They both have been hurt a lot though, so they probably prefer to be alone. They push others away because that is easier to handle. If you are never around other people, no one can hurt you. 

If someone is determined to be alone, maybe for their own mental health recovery, they aren't available for love. We all need to heal from something. Sometimes being around others helps us to heal. Other times being alone enables us to heal better and faster. Maybe something you do reminds them of the person they want to forget about. Then they reject you, but really they are rejecting that other person. Like the song by Usher, "You Remind Me." Go listen to it. :)

If someone is rejecting you, just know they probably don't mean to break your heart. They just want to be alone for a while. Sometimes we all just need to be alone.