It is almost impossible to have a great relationship with someone if there is a lot of stress. Some people seem to be stress addicts and they Love stress. I have never understood that. There are ways to not stress yourself out, simply by not worrying and not picking fights with others. Some people purposely pick fights with others because they love the stress of fighting, because they are bored. In my family there seemed to be an addiction to anger, perhaps because feeling angry feels better then feeling depressed. In my ex husband's family there was an addiction to stress and worry. Why? Both worry and anger are energizing feelings. Personally I prefer to get my energy from coffee rather then stressing out or anger. :)
In regards to stress, there was almost non stop stress in my 7 year marriage to my ex husband. From the first month we were together we debated about what I have always called "Charismania." He was into the gift of tongues more then I was. He was into getting slain in the spirit. I thought both things were totally ridiculous. I now have the gift of tongues but I still don't really see the point to it. I would rather use my gift of teaching, which is why I write. But we would debate over the supernatural side of Christianity almost constantly. So that brought in tons of stress in our marriage. He wanted to convince me that the supernatural things were important. I didn't think they were. Finally he settled on the verse for me, "Blessed are those who have not seen and still believe." I have never had a supernatural experience and I don't care if I ever do. I don't Need that to believe in God. Some people needs things like that, other people don't.
Also in regards to stress we had some odd bug infestation issue that lasted about 3 years. We had to get rid of all our furniture. I kept needing to buy new clothes and new sheets and new blankets. These bugs were called "no see ums" because you Can't see them. That was extremely stressful because I couldn't kill them and get rid of them since I couldn't see them. We had gone on a Carribean cruise and the bugs must have come back with us. They were everywhere in our apartments, for 3 years. It was insane. And we moved 6 times in that time period. I told my ex and my mom that if anything in my life would have made me suicidal that almost did.
After the bug issue finally was over, then we had money stress, which most couples go through. The pay for my ex's job was very inconsistent. Things kept happening that prevented him from making more money. He was a fuel truck driver and his company truck would break down all the time. It was very, very frustrating. So we were always tight on money. This caused him to not be able to sleep much. The less he slept, the more he messed up at work and so it was a catch 22 never ending cycle. Eventually his sleep deprivation made him go literally insane, and that is when we broke up. I literally was afraid he might kill me, so I had him go live with his parents.
After all that, it is no wonder that we didn't make it and we divorced. It was way too much stress.
With my other relationships there was tons of stress. One guy had a son with tons of health issues. That was incredibly stressful. Another guy I was with simply would not eat much, because he was a picky eater, so that stressed us both out. Another guy was heavily controlled by his parents, and that was stressful for both of us. Another guy had a possibly demonically possessed ex wife that he had kids with, so that was always stressful for us.
This is all why Paul says, "Those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I wish to spare you of this." When you yoke up with someone, their problems become your problems. Their life becomes your life. Sure life can be boring when you are single and living alone, but at least you have a Lot less stress. You can control your own life; how much you eat or sleep, how much you let your parents control you etc. But you can't control much about another person's life. If they choose to not eat, you can't do anything about it. If they can't sleep, you can't do much about it. If they choose to let their parents dictate their life, there is nothing you can do. You can try to make suggestions but the suggestions almost never work. You can't change a person. Most people will be the way they always have been.
And so my conclusion on the matter is Stay Single, if you are single. You will have a Much easier life. God bless!
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