The movie "The Tale" was mind blowing. One thing that bugged me though, the girl was supposed to be 12 when her sexual abuse happened, but they casted a girl who looked more like 7. I suppose they wanted to make it look worse then it was. It made me think of my own childhood. My dad's goal was to have sex with me as a child. From the time I was a baby, he was conditioning me to want him. I have no idea why. I guess because I was a cute kid, or he wanted a second wife and my mom wasn't enough. What is up with that, by the way? Why can't guys just be content with one woman? Or with the woman they are with? I know it is not just men who are like this, women can be to. I'm sure my mom was discontent with my dad, so she was probably rude to him, which may have caused him to "want" me as a child.
I read in a book that most victims of sexual abuse are more mad at the non-offending parent. The abuser you can just write off as crazy and say, "Oh he lost his mind, so he didn't know better." But the non-crazy parent, we hold them more responsible. Like first of all, why did she marry a crazy person? Couldn't she tell that he was crazy? And why didn't she help him to not be so crazy? But in my own life, I couldn't help my ex husband who was crazy. Maybe God let that happen so I would realize that sometimes there is no solution for a crazy person, and there was nothing my mom could have done. I used to think she wasn't pretty enough. She should have worn more make up or gotten contacts. But some men, who are sick, simply prefer children over adults, because they are still children. They never grew up themselves, so they like kids.
I have no idea what that is like. I feel like I have been a grown up ever since I was about 7 years old. And now I am so tired. I am only 36 but I feel more like 80 years old. But life is good for me now. God has allotted me this time to write and hopefully my writing is helping some of you. May God bless you.
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