Wow, here is an amazing testimony/story about the difficulties of certain cult churches. Read if you have time. It is very interesting. This was an email to me regarding my book "On the Charismatic Movement." I wrote about some things similar to what she talks about.
You can read most of it on Amazon with the look inside feature. :) Here is a link to it. https://www.amazon.com/Charismatic-Movement-Lisa-Bedrick-ebook/dp/B00NR2NPX2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1475805408&sr=8-2&keywords=lisa+bedrick+books
"Hello Lisa. My name is Samantha and I am from the UK. I love to read and have more books than I can get through! I have recently discovered your books and am waiting for some more to be delivered.
I just wanted to share some things with you, if that is okay.
I have been a Christian for just over 3 years now. I am serious about trying to follow God and get to know him better. I am also serious about coming to an understanding of the truth, as there are so many false teachings out there.
Last year I moved to a new town. It wasn't a move I wanted, and I found it upsetting. I had been attending an Anglican church prior to moving.
I felt lost and alone. I had noticed that there was a small church up the road from where I lived, so one evening I decided to go. I really felt something inside me telling me not to go, but I went.
It is a Pentecostal church, but I didn't know much about different types of churches at the time. I just knew it was very different. From day one I felt that I didn't belong there. I felt uncomfortable. People kept wanting to hug and kiss me, but I didn't like that. I was told it is not normal to not want to be hugged and kissed in a "family," and it actually upset some people. Some people wouldn't listen to me and would still try to grab me anyway.
Over the course of the year I felt intimidated by one of the leaders, who said and did things which hurt me greatly. Whenever there was an issue I was told that I am the problem.
I also struggled with accepting some of the beliefs and practices at the church. In the prayer meetings people would shout and scream and become hysterical, and everyone would speak in "tongues" all at the same time. I found it frightening and chaotic. However, I was told it is normal, and that I just didn't understand. At times though I felt the air itself shift, and there was a sense of evil. Nobody else seemed to notice anything though.
I have numerous health problems and have been told that God wants me to be healed. I have been told that I am not healed because of sin/lack of faith/etc. I have been told that I have demons and need deliverance ministry to get rid of them. These things all hurt and made me feel afraid.
I was encouraged to tell Satan and his demons to get lost, to "claim" things, etc. There seemed to be a belief that a Christian should have no health problems, no money problems, no relationship problems, etc. Anything God wants us to do should give us a sense of peace. If not, it is not from God. I was told to pray a certain prayer three times a day for a month, because it is a powerful prayer. I was told I would be a different women at the end of the month.
I disagreed with some things, but I went along with it for so long. I wanted to fit in, to belong. I was so lonely. I had also been told that if I left the church I would be following Satan, doing exactly what he wants. I was told I would be running away if I left. So I stayed. And I continued to struggle. I started to dread going to the church. It became a massive ordeal to me. I would get home and cry until I was nearly sick. I started to try and avoid the leader I felt afraid of, after talking to her made no difference. When I asked for space from her, I was accused of having a bad attitude to a fellow believer in the church, and that I should no longer attend, as it would be making a mockery of Christ and the church. I was devastated and couldn't understand why I could not request space from her, but she was free to do and say what she pleased to me. The pastor did change his mind about it though and I was encouraged to just attend.
However, I became extremely unwell due to the stress and upset. Several months ago I had to stop going to church as I was very unwell physically, and still am. My doctors think extreme stress may have damaged my stomach, and I am waiting to see somebody at the hospital. It meant I spent more time alone with God and reading the Bible. I also asked God what he wanted me to do.
God really opened my eyes, and I saw clearly that the things taught and practised in the church are not Biblical. I saw the superstition, the expectation that God will ultimately do what we want, I saw how people follow the pastor without question. I was the only one to challenge things, and it seemed it was wrong to them.
God also repeatedly revealed to me that he wanted me to leave the church. I was sad, as I still didn't want to. I still wanted to hold on. But no, God confirmed to me over and over that he wanted me to leave.
Not only that, but I will soon be moving home again, as I am still not happy where I am and am having problems with my flat. I feel positive about it. But I have been told I am running away, I am isolating myself, I am listening to the enemy, etc. They all think I am falling away from God, when in reality I am trying to follow God! I feel so much pressure to conform. I don't want them to think I am weak, cowardly, running away, deceived, etc. But I know I need to obey God, and that I can't control what people think. They will think what they will think. But to them, if they don't like it, then they think it cannot be from God.
I have also been incredibly hurt at the judgement I have received. I have been judged and berated for not going to church, no matter how many times I told them I was sick. Not one person offered to visit me or help me get to church. All I felt was judgement. And now that I am moving, they think I am running away.
I am praying to God to open my eyes even more, and to give me discernment. I am grateful to him for opening my eyes to the deception.
But I just feel so alone, and so exhausted from trying to explain and defend myself. I can see that nothing I say will change their beliefs or what they think about me. I would really like to remain friends with some of them, but how can I when our beliefs differ so much? How can I when they believe in "name it and claim it" theories? How can I when they look at my health problems and see lack of faith and active sin? How can I when I know they think I have demons that need to be cast out?
I feel that I have been dying inside over this past year at the church. I have never experienced anything like this. It actually reminds me of a cult in some ways. Even though I am starting to see the lies, it is still painful.
I also feel quite apprehensive about finding another church when I move. I am worried it will be hard to trust again.
I know God can work everything for good though, and I know he has been using every situation to draw me closer to him.
I just wanted to share this with you. I guess I feel quite alone with my experience.
Thank you for reading this."
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