My Mom

 My mom is visiting today to meet my baby boy. I need to remember to take pictures of the two of them. 

This baby is her 8th grandchild. Her first one was born 22 years ago when my brother had his son. My step brothers each had 2 kids. Then this is my 3rd child. I win! Lol Because I had 3 kids. Most people stop after 2, which is good to do. I had a third because my first 2 were withheld from me. Locked in a dungeon by their evil grandmother. Someday maybe they will be free. May they feel free at some point soon in Jesus name amen.

Life is crazy. You never know what could happen. Hopefully my family will have some stability now. Thank you God for giving us a second chance. May things be happy and greater this time with my new family. May we all love each other the way you love us God. May we stay calm and humble and kind. Thank you God for family. May we be a strong family in the future. 

T-Shirt Business

 I have a bright idea. I am always thinking of business ideas. I think my mother in law and I will start a T-shirt business via Amazon market place. We can sell kid shirts on there that I design and make. I am tracing sticker letters with a sharpie. If she takes care of shipping the shirts, we can spilt the profits woot! My shirt ideas so far are...Mommy I Love You,  My Daddy is Superman, Ur a SuperMom, Ur a SuperDad, My Daddy is The King, My Nana is Awesome, You Are My Best Friend, I Am Your Sunshine, Feed Me, We Love You, Sorry I Threw Up, Hey Make My Diaper Lose, Bibs are Evil, Gift From God, Made Perfect By God, Your Best Child, Vote for Trump.... 😁

Pray for us that it goes well and gets going. Thanks all :)  

The Color Red

 It seems the color red has been following me around my entire life. In high school our colors were red, white and black. At my Christian college we had the same colors. 

I worked at Papa John's for 3 years. Their main color is red. My bf works at Red Lobster. Their main color is red. I kind of saw that as a sign we were meant to be. 😁

I made my baby boy's room red rather than blue. I think his color will be red, because his personality is red. Red is the alpha color, and he is an Aries alpha. 

My best friend worked at Target for 8 years. They are red all over. My step dad later worked at Target for 5 years. I considered working at Target several times. Maybe I will someday. I could move up to being a Target regional manager eventually. I live quite close to a Target now. 😁

I always wanted a red blanket for my bed. I finally got one a year ago. Finally. 😂

I have wanted a red car since age 7. I finally am making my car red with contact paper. It is turning out quite nicely I would say. 

Next maybe I'll get a red bike woot woot! 

Break Ups

 I have broken up with guys that I was with many, many times. I was with a guy off and on in high school. I kept breaking up with him because he didn't act like a Christian. He was raised in church, but I saw him as a bad boy because he smoked and drank and had multiple girlfriends. I think almost all guys are bad boys, but I didn't realize that then. 

A guy I dated in college I was very in love with, but I broke up with him to focus on school more. I wish I would have just dropped out of college and married him. He was a great guy. 

The next guy I broke up with, because I told him "I love you" and he said he didn't love me. What an idiot.

The next guy broke up with me, because I didn't like shopping. It was also because he was Pentecostal, and I was Baptist. That was the cause of the break-up in my previous marriage too. I saw that coming from the beginning, because of this former break up. I thought we might work out, but Baptists should never try being with Pentecostals. They are way too different, in how they see God and in their way of living life. I always felt like I believed in a totally different God than my ex did. His God was a get rich quick and never stay sick God. My God was a God that forces you to grow through staying sick and being poor at times, a God that wants to keep you humble. A lot of people believe in a God of their own imagination. You can't really be saved unless you believe in the God of the Bible. 

With my next bf, I broke up with him because he was very mean to his 3 year old son. I didn't get why he lost his patience so much. It was very sad to be around and to watch. So I moved on. Also he told me he was gay in the past. He had a bf for a few months. That grossed me out, so I could not fully love him after knowing about that. 

My next bf I may have stayed with forever, but he went to jail. He missed a few doses of his medication and decided to shoot up a building of his former employer. Our savings was running out and he didn't get paid by this former employer. He wanted to "teach him a lesson," so he shot 6 windows in his business. He went to jail for about 7 months. 

My next bf was Jewish. I should have known it wouldn't last, because Jewish people usually only hook up with other Jewish people. It mainly was his horrible temper that kept me breaking up with him. I must have broken up with him 5 times or more. We kept getting back together because there was love there, but it was an odd love. We were more like siblings than lovers. I still pray for him when I think of him. I hope he will have a happy life someday. 

Then I was single for 6 months and had my own apartment. That was the most peaceful time of my life. I very much enjoyed having my own place. But I got lonely, so I decided to find yet another bf. 

I met my current man via online dating. I was ready to start family number 2, so we did. I don't think I will ever have a reason to break up with him. He is Christian, very sweet, has a nice body, and he is a hard worker. I love him very much! And he is younger than me yay.... I have always wanted a younger guy and I got one. Good job to me. :) 

Hopefully there will be no more break ups and I will be happy to live with my current man forever. 

May God help you all to stay with your person and to be happy with them forever. You can do it. I believe in you. :)

Disney Orphan Characters

 Have you ever realized that almost every Disney protagonist is an orphan in regards to at least one parent? In the Lion King, Simba's father dies early in his life. In the Little Mermaid, Ariel doesn't have a mom. Pocahontas doesn't have a mom. Mulan has both parents, but her dad is frail and on the verge of dying. Beauty, or Belle, has no mother. Cinderella has neither parent, and just has her evil step-mother. Snow White has only an evil step-mother also. Sleeping Beauty has both parents, but they weren't keeping tabs on her, and so she pricked her finger on the spindle. In The Rescuers, Penny was in an orphanage. In Oliver and Company, the girl seems to have no parents, but she has a dad who is off working a lot. In the Aristocats there is a widow who is all alone with no family. In Aladin, Jasmine does not have a mother. 

Why are there so many orphan kids in Disney movies? Maybe because Disney wanted to make movies that more people could relate to. We are all orphans in some way. 

I lost my dad when I was young. When I was 6, he molested me and was sent to jail. Later my parents got divorced. My first serious bf Greg never met his father. My next bf Michael had his dad and a step-mom. My next bf Roger had divorced parents and had a step-mom. My ex-husband Ben still had both parents. I think that helped him stay as normal as he was, until he went crazy. 

My bf after him Bryan had both parents. He was very lucky. My next bf Eric had divorced parents. He had not talked to his dad in about 10 years. My current man lost his dad when he was 19.

I had a thought at one point that God gave us all two parents so that we would at least always have one. It was just my mom and I when I was in high school. Those were actually the best years of my life. I loved it being just me and her. All you need is one parent. It is nice to have both, but it doesn't guarantee a better life. Single parents can raise well-adjusted, great kids too. The kid gets more attention from the single parent, which is nice. :)

I wonder if Disney was also mentally preparing kids for the inevitable situations. One parent might die. One parent might leave. Over half of kids in America are raised by one original parent. Lots of parents refuse to stay friends with each other and split up. Kids are left wondering why, but someday they will have a bf or a gf and they will realize how hard it is for two people to stay together. It is a crazy world now. It is a miracle that any two people can stay together forever now. 

I pray more couples will make it last until the end. "Until death do you part" right? Your mate may drive you nuts at times, but you can choose to still love them and forgive them no matter what. Stick it out for the kids. They will be ok if you break up, but they will enjoy their life more if you stay together. Try to stay together forever, if not for you, then for them. 

May God bless all the families with orphan kids. May they find joy in life even if they are missing one of their parents. 

Sneaking Around

 Every person who is with a mate sneaks around on them in some way. Some women hide packages they order from their mate. A ton of men watch porn at least once a day, and their woman has no clue. 

With an ex I had, I would pretend to be working late but just go sit in my car at the park. I didn't want to go home yet. I hated going home to him and his son. He yelled at his son a lot. It was the saddest and most stressful living set up I had ever had. 

My first bf and I never snuck around in any way. We gave each other freedom to do anything we wanted to do. It's not really love if you don't let each other have total freedom. Trust your mate. They are most likely smart enough to do the right thing. 

A lot of men and women sneak smoking, or drinking, or other drugs. I still think one of my exes was sneaking doing drugs the whole 7 years I was with him. He certainly acted like he did.

Probably in half of relationships there is a man or a woman on the side. Every time I had a job, there was always some guy I liked at work, even if I had my own man at the time. This is why women should just stay home and raise the kids. But then us women are always worried that our man has a woman on the side at work. My only words of comfort on that are, "If it's meant to be it'll be. Baby just let it be." 😀

In the movie The Waitress she sneaks in hiding money all over the house so she can escape from her verbally abusive husband. I used to say all people are just with someone until someone better comes along. That is a true statement in most relationships. 

As long as you treat your mate with respect, you won't have to worry about them wanting to be with someone else. Affairs happen when a person feels sad, threatened, alone or forgotten within a relationship. They stopped being happy at some point, with their mate and just in general. They think some new life set up will make them happy. Will it? It may or it may not. No life situation is perfect. We all just have to take what God gives us. No one is perfectly happy. My advice to you is stop hoping you can be perfectly happy. In heaven you will be, but never on this earth. It is never going to happen. Sorry if that pops your bubble. :)

The more you feverishly chase happiness, the more it eludes you. Give up the chase. If you are 70% happy now, that should be good enough. 

Decide to love what you have and forget about everything else. And try to never sneak around on your mate. It will only stress you out, and what you are doing probably isn't worth it. 

Thankful For....

 I seem to be in a great mood today. Praise God!

I am so thankful for my baby, who I now call my little squishy man. I love making him laugh and smile. It is the cutest thing ever. I am thankful for my kittens. They are some of the cutest kittens I have ever seen.

 I am glad I am hopefully fixing the fire ant issue in our back yard. I had forgotten there was a second ant mound. I am working on digging that one up and pouring dish soap all over it to make the ants go away, hopefully. Or at least it might stop them from breeding more. 

I am thankful for my bunnies. One of them just ran up to me as if to say, "Pet meeee...." So I did. I really should pick them up more because they are so tame, and I want to keep them that way. I hope their babies will be just as tame as they are. In Jesus name their babies will survive. 

I have tried many times to breed bunnies. It isn't always super easy. If they are in a backyard, cats can climb back there and eat the babies. Most people keep bunnies in a cage. I feel that is mean to the bunnies. They can run super fast. Why not let them run around super fast? 

I am thankful for my man. He works hard to provide for our mini family, and I appreciate that a lot. He never complains about money that I spend. He has never yelled at me. Hopefully he never will. He is very handsome, and I love him very much!

I am thankful for my mother in law who babysits every other day. It is nice to take a long nap at that time and to take a bath without worrying about baby James crying. Every mom should have alone time a few days a week. 

I am thankful that I mostly fixed my tooth pain with flossing every night. I have some baby cavities, but I think if I keep flossing, they might go away. That would be great!

I am thankful I finally decided to recover my car. It has been looking embarrassing for a while now. I put white contact paper over it 3 years ago, but it gets cracked in the sun. Once you cover it, it needs to be recovered every couple years. Contact paper is not as good as a paint job, but those are way too expensive now. Plus my car is 20 years old so contact paper works for it. 

I am thankful for this blog. That I have a hobby for boring times. I hate being bored. At least I always have this to do. There is always something to write about. 

I am thankful for my friends. It is nice to have people to text about new things in my life. It's nice having friends that care. 

All ya'll, go write out all that you are thankful for. It's a good thing to do to reprogram your mind away from complaining. You can do it. God bless!

My Pets and Family

 I decided to put my turtles out to pasture. I felt a bit bad for them, but I had too many pets. I didn't like how they hissed at me every time I picked them up to put them in fresh water. Having turtles is like having a grumpy mate or friend that you try to cheer up every day. It kind of works, but not really. 

I still have 4 bunnies. Hopefully they will have baby bunnies soon. I moved the cat food to the front yard so all the cats are mainly in the front now. Hopefully then the bunnies can have babies without the cats eating them. I have never seen floppy eared bunny babies. I can't wait to see some! I hope they make it in this heat. 

I still have my 5 kittens; Panther, Stripey, Tiger, Cookie and Panda. I tried having them in the garage last night. The mom cat Princess kept jumping up the garage side door. There is a glass part to the door. She probably thought she could jump through that. She had pooped in her litter box and the smell was so repulsive to her that she wanted out. It's too bad all garages are not built with a window. That would be nice if they were. I will probably just keep them outside at night from now on. I just worry a dog will eat them. My mom said dogs probably won't eat kittens. It depends on the dog I suppose. 

Baby James is still as happy as ever. He laughs a lot now. It is so cute! I say I love you to him a lot. He seems to be trying hard to say it back, and he is only 4 months old. Genius baby! I remember an ex's son was very talkative. He was only 3, but he talked like he was an adult. I wonder if all boys learn to talk before girls. I suppose it depends on how interactive the parents are with the baby. 

I am doing well. I am having fun working on making my car red. Watching Disney movies has been lots of fun. Yesterday baby James and I watched Beauty and the Beast. That brought back so many memories. I would say that is one of the top 5 best movies ever made. Go watch it again if you can. It will be a fun treat for your day. 

My bf still sleeps a lot when he is off of work. It is hard to not feel insulted by that. I think it is because he does not have a mission in life. I have my writing. He really has nothing to get excited about every day. Very sad. At least now I have my kittens too. :) I suppose if he didn't sleep so much, I wouldn't write in this blog as much. His job is pretty active. I am mostly ok with his excessive sleeping, because I have always loved sleep too. His anti-depressants I think make him think he needs tons of sleep. I was a bit disappointed that he slept so much, because I picked him due to thinking he would help me with our baby. Nope. All he wants to do at home is sleep. It seems it's only in the movies that the man helps his woman with the baby. We have a bit of family time each week, but just a bit. He is 8 years younger than me, but he seems a lot older than me. He drank tons most of his life. Please pray his body will heal from all that. He lost his dad at age 19, which caused his excessive drinking. I lost my daughters 4 years ago, which caused me to smoke cigarettes kind of a lot. We both used a substance to numb our pain. 

My mom will be here to visit this weekend. I am excited about that. She will get to meet the other grandma. I only had my mom hang out with my ex's mom once. I wish we all would have gotten together more. Maybe my previous marriage would have lasted longer then. It will be nice to have them meet. It is interesting because in a way they are both single women. My bf's mom's husband died 10 years ago. My mom's husband is retarded since he is a child molester. I consider her a single woman because that is what she should be. I don't know why she is still with him, but we all have tough decisions to make in life. I am with a partial alcoholic, but I am mostly ok with that because I enjoy drinking too. Not a lot, but a little every now and then. 

My bf's grandma is still missing 16k supposedly. I wonder if she made the entire thing up just to make us all panic over her. Pray for her sanity to stay intact, and for whoever took the money to confess about taking it and give it back to her. 

Hopefully things will stay happy in my household. I try to keep everyone happy, and hopefully they will. May your homes be happy places as well. May God bless you all. :)

Make it Happen

 I have always wanted a red car. Ever since I saw a toy Barbie convertible when I was about 7, I have wanted a red car. I decided to make my car red. Now I'll finally have one. Not with a paint job. A contact paper job! 

I was thinking I could possibly start a business of contact papering cars. I initially made mine white because the roof was rusty. I am tired of it being white, so now I'll make it red. I can't wait to have it finished! 

It takes about 20 hours to cover a car in contact paper, but it is tons of fun. 😁

Y'all should consider contact papering your car. You can change it to any color you want! 

Pushing the Limits

 Every person who is addicted to something always wants just a bit more. They start with a small amount and then it turns into a monster amount. Why? Because the demons tell them they need more and the addict believes them. 

What is the need? Why do addicts need a drink or a hit in the first place? They think it will take all their problems away, but it only creates more problems. More health problems, more money problems, more family problems. You can't consume a lot of any drug or alcohol without it burning your entire family eventually. 

You don't need the drug or the alcohol. You need only Jesus. Once you truly know Jesus, you don't need anything else. 

My War with the Ants

 I got a terrible fire ant bite yesterday evening. My foot hurt so bad I would have cut it off just to take the pain away. I kept ice on it. I wrapped it up tight with an Ace wrap. I had my lover get me some Benadryl. With all that the pain finally went away. Thank you Jesus! 

So I am now at war with the fire ants in my backyard. There has been a big ant mound next to the baby trees that I water since I moved in here. I bought a shovel a few months ago to try digging it out. I got half of it out. I have poured bleach in the mound. I just poured dish soap all over it. Then I dumped a full bag of cornmeal in it. I also covered the perimeter of my two sidewalk areas with cornmeal so they will stop coming up there. I can only hope that will make them all die or go away. 

Please pray they will all relocate to the back alley. That would be so nice. Once they build a big mound anywhere, it is hard to get rid of it, but not impossible. I believe I will get rid of them eventually. I probably need an exterminator to come out and use proper chemicals to get rid of them. 

The best household chemical to pour over the ant mound is Windex. Maybe I'll do that once a week now. 

Death to the ants! I will succeed in killing them all eventually. Or I'll call an exterminator. :)

Crazy Fire Ants

Today I got a fire ant bite on the top of my foot. It hurts a lot. It reminds me of when a bee stung me in between my toes like 15 years ago. That pain was crazy. 

Foot injuries are the worst. Working in pizza I dropped a tray of dough on my foot. That hurt a bit worse then this ant bite. 

I have an ice pack on my foot. That should prevent any swelling. 

Pray for the pain to go away so I can sleep. 😣

Happy Things

 Here are things that make life great....the color red 😁, massages done by your lover, sunsets, kittens' faces and meows, cats who seem like good friends, free babysitting, gift cards, having a savings account, green tea, cinnamon coffee, mint Oreos, cold milk, Justin Bieber's music, fun country music, solar powered lights, an early bed time, the morning sun, fuzzy blankets, clean sheets, fans, artificial sunflowers, the soup and breadsticks at Olive Garden, having perfectly painted nails, cute dresses, comfy shoes, green grass....and someone warm to cuddle with. 

I hope you all try to focus on the good things in your life more and more every day. God bless! 😁

Fruits and Veggies

 I realized today the gospel writers never record Jesus eating fruits or veggies. He only seemed to eat fish and bread, and he drank wine. That would be like us eating only pizza and drinking juice or smoothies, which I did for about 3 years while working at Papa John's. 

Every guy I have been with has zero interest in fruits or veggies. That always frustrates me. I want to say to them, "Don't you care about not dying early?" They could say back, "Awe you want me to be your work mule forever?" 😊 Maybe most men want to die early. Ladies, let's give our men a reason to want to stay alive for a long time. Try to be more nice to the men you are around. 

Women are better at thinking of the future. Men for some reason don't realize that what they do now affects their future a lot. 

Eat fruit and veggies. Maybe Jesus didn't eat a ton of healthy food but he was God. His health was perfect no matter what. We all need to eat more healthy to stay alive for a long time, and to feel better as long as we are alive. 

Are You Possessed?

 Most possessed people don't realize they are possessed. Some do know it. 

If you are possessed and you want to get free of your demons, just say this prayer aloud, "Dear God I know I let these demons in. I am sorry. I thought they could be a good friend. I don't want them anymore. I just want you. Can we be close again? I only want to talk to you. Please help me to get free of my demons. I am tired of them. I need to feel peace again. I want to be able to really love others again. Thank you Jesus for healing me through your death on the cross. I receive your free gift of cleansing. I love you so much. Holy Spirit please heal me. God the Father I need your guidance. Jesus I need your friendship. Thank you. Amen."

Now believe that you are set free of your demons and you are. "Go and sin no more." Fill your mind with Bible verses and sermons and worship music. Get so filled up with Godly things that demons can't enter you ever again. You can do it. May God bless you. 😁

Go watch a ton of Jentezen Franklin sermons. You will stay free of those evil demons. 

Divorce and Demons

 I just realized that my mom most likely divorced my dad for the same reason that I divorced my ex. Both my dad and my ex became possessed. Not possessed like in the movies. But they both had several demons messing with them that they couldn't shake off. My ex had demons talking to him all day, every day about me, trying to turn him against me. My dad had demons telling him he would never amount to anything so he should just give up. He stopped wanting to attend church or go to counseling. He started drinking two beers before bed instead of one. He was kind of flirty with the women at church. They were all behaviors that were self-sabotaging. It seemed like he wanted my mom to give up on him, and she did. 

I said to my ex at one point, "I give up." It was too much for me to try to prove my innocence to him while demons kept telling him that I did bad things. He kept thinking I was cheating, but I never did. He thought I said terrible things that I never said. One thing was he said that I said his ex slept with all his co-workers. He must have asked me 10 times why I said that. I said, "I never said that," but he refused to believe me. I don't know if he heard that in bad dreams that he had or he was tripping out while he was awake. A few people I talked to said it sounded like he was doing meth. I have no idea ultimately. He may have been taking drugs, or it was just the demons that caused all of his delusions. People on drugs often attract demons through the drugs, in that they let their guard down so demons can mess with them easier. That may be why it seemed like he was on something. But sadly for him, he didn't need to be on something to let the demons in to pester him. 

We all need to be careful of that. Don't let demons mess up your life like they did with my ex. In a way maybe his life is peachy keen now because he is not the sole bread winner for his daughters or me. His mom is helping him a lot, but I'm sure she resents it. And he will probably never get to have sex again. Once demons take over a person's mind, it is very difficult to get the demons to leave. I remember Joyce Meyer saying she did a deliverance ministry for a while. She would cast demons out of people, but before they even got back to their chair, the demons were right back in them. 

In order for anyone to get free of demons, they have to want the demons to leave. Why do so many people not want their demons to leave? They are lonely and bored. That seems silly to us normal people. Why can't they find ways to entertain themselves other than talking to demons all day? I have no idea. They want someone to keep them company. It should be God, or a good friend, but they refuse to connect with either God or good people. That is very sad, obviously. But the demons are why they don't have any friends, because it is obvious something is wrong with them. But then that rejection from people makes them more attached to their demons. They think if they let the demons go, they will have no one, but they are deceived. 

It is hard to know what to do with such people. It is good to try to help them, but we all know the saying, "Don't try to save a drowning person or you too might drown." That is why I finally gave up on my ex. I felt bad about it of course, but everyone has their limit of what they can handle. You can only give away so much. 

If you are around any possessed people, or people that seem disturbed, just leave them to themselves. Don't let them bring you down. Don't let them make you get possessed too. It can happen. Don't let them ruin your life like they have ruined their own. Keep yourself safe. For some people it is almost impossible to save them. Stay in the light and stay away from the darkness and dark people. That is the wisest thing to do. 

Good luck to you all. May God give you discernment as you try to decide who should be in your life and who should not be. 

Family Crime

 Both my bf and I shoplifted at an early age. It showed that we were all about sex early on, which is kind of funny. When he was 12, he stole porn magazines from a store. When I was 12, I stole condoms from a store. We both were born with a wild side. :) Ok, the condoms weren't for me. They were for my best friend who literally wanted to have sex with her boyfriend already. At the time I thought nothing of it, but now I am like wow that was young. 

This is why I am partly glad I am not responsible for my daughters anymore. Girls now are having sex way too young. There is a good movie all ya'll may like called The Pregnancy Pact. It's about high school girls who make a pact that they will all get pregnant that year. One scene is particularly interesting. A girl tells her mom she's pregnant. Her mom is mad. She says, "Aren't you excited to become a grandma?" The mom says, "No one wants to be a grandma at the age of 30." So sad....what an awkward situation that must be for all the teen moms out there. 

It's a very different world now. If kids in my generation wanted to have sex already at age 12, I wonder what it's like now. Kids grow up way too fast. 

Tell your kids there is no rush to become a parent. They should take their time. It is nice to get out and see the world first. :)

Our Daily Schedule

7am wake up time, sometimes earlier or later

Give cats happy food

Make cinnamon coffee and a bagel 

Go outside to water the trees and grass

Watch a sermon by Joyce Meyer or Jentezen Franklin

Bottle time and nap 

Write a blog 

Eat lunch with my man 

Watch a Jay Shetty show 

Watch a Disney movie 

Nap number 2 

Dinner time (a big salad)

Bath time 

Go outside and water the trees again 

Give turtles fresh water to swim in and food

Take the trash out and pick up trash that people rudely throw on the street :(

Maybe go for a walk with the stroller

Rock James to sleep

Bed time 😁

Unplanned Parenthood

Here are my thoughts on the importance of pregnancy prevention.

So many people criticize Planned Parenthood, but I would say they do a good job helping poor moms not have to many kids. I recommend birth control pills over abortions, of course. The pull out method is the best way to prevent pregnancy. Of course, what every woman needs to do is set boundaries with whatever man she is sleeping with. She needs to tell him that he has to pull out, unless he won the lottery lately. But too often women don't say what they need. They want to have fun, but maybe they can't provide for a child. Ideally anyone who can't afford a child should not be having sex, but for those who do, the woman needs to make it clear she wants the man to pull out. 

I was just watching Aladdin again, and that got me thinking about this problem in our world. There are starving children at the beginning of the movie. It made me think, "Why does that happen? Why are there starving children?" It happens when the father isn't willing to work hard enough, or the woman is not willing to leave the man if he won't work hard enough. 

Men, you need to provide well for any amount of sperm you decide to shoot out. If you don't want to work hard, then don't ever have sex. Wouldn't that be great if that was a rule all men had to follow? 

I have known a few men who didn't want to work hard enough to provide for their kids. They should have never had sex in the first place. You can't have the fun without putting in the hard work. Well you can, but you should not be allowed to. 

If men, and women, can't afford children, they should abstain from sex entirely. 

Child Sex Trafficking

 There was a Christian movie I saw a few months ago called Unbridled. It was about a girl who was being sex trafficked by her step-dad. The neighborhood was a nice one. It made me think how that could be happening in any neighborhood and most people wouldn't even realize it.

There was also a video I saw on YouTube about a family of 12 kids in a nice neighborhood. The kids were barely fed enough and some were chained to their beds. It doesn't matter if you are in a nice, new neighborhood. There still could be crazy situations inside those houses. 

Kids are being exploited more and more in these last days. Due to porn and child porn, too many men want to harm children and scar them for life. Schools should teach children what is ok to do with adults and what is not ok. I would think every elementary school would have an assembly at least twice a year addressing that topic. Then kids could come up at the end to talk to people if they are being sex trafficked or abused at home.

There is a video with Elizabeth Frazier where she talks about being sex trafficked by her parents when she was only 4. Of course girls that young can't have sex, but they can do other things with disgusting men who have strange minds. 

TELL your little girls what is ok touching and what is not ok. Children are easily taken advantage of because they have no idea what is normal and what is not. Protect your children. 

Tendonitis

 When I was younger, I remember my mom got tendonitis. She had to wear a brace on her arm. She should have changed jobs, but she wore the brace instead. Her job for a long time was Medical Transcription. She would listen to doctors talk on tapes and type out what they said. I have considered doing that as a job, because I type maybe even faster than her. But she had to learn lots of medical terms to do that job. It can be tricky to hear what the doctor is saying. Maybe that's one reason why I don't like doctors. I always heard my mom listening to them and having to type every word they said. It was kind of an odd job really. Why did they have to have every single word they said typed out? 

Anyways, I have had tendonitis a few times also, and it was super painful. I got it first after working at Papa John's. I think putting the truck away killed my arms. So many heavy boxes. Working out the pizza dough can do a number on your body too. Thank God I finally ran away from that place. I have missed it off and on, but it is very hard for your body to do pizza work. 

I had really bad arm pain issues in my last pregnancy. Writing 20 books in 4 months could have easily caused that issue. Of course I would develop tendonitis again. If you want to look up the books on Amazon, search Lisa Bedrick books. :)

I tried to give myself limits. I mostly just wrote two chapters in the morning and 2 in the evening for whatever book I was working on at the time. The topics were alcoholism, feminism, homosexuality, abortion, God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit etc....Sometimes I would write all day. 

In my early 20's I used to write for hours just for fun. I suppose I was working on typing faster but also it was my journal. I wrote about anything and everything. Finally, I wrote publicly starting at age 28, after my ex, Roger, died. He always told me I should do something big with my life, so I finally started to. My writing has made quite a few people mad at me. Most people don't make every thought they have public, but why not? It's a bit like gambling I guess. You never know how you will mess up your friendships with each thing you write. It's exciting, maybe a bit stupid, but at least it keeps my life thrilling. What friends will I lose this week? And should I care if I do lose them? :)

I live by the phrase, "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." If you easily make a person mad, they probably aren't meant to be in your life. Just say goodbye to them. They are most likely toxic and you don't need toxic people in your life. 

Anyways, be nice to your body. You only get one. If you are in pain in some way, stop doing whatever you are doing and learn to rest for a while. You can do it. Some people hate work. Others hate rest. The key is to enjoy both. 

May God bless you all! 

Focus on the Family

 One reason I write books and put out so much info to the world is that Focus on the Family saved me. My mom grew stronger through listening to them on the radio. When my dad attempted to rape me at age 6 she called them to get prayer. They reported it, and that spared me from things being ongoing with my dad. He went to jail and never was able to abuse me ever again. Praise God. 

Thank God for Focus on the Family. They still have great videos on YouTube that will help anyone. Look them up and watch some. 

If you know any child or person being abused, give them a place to live. Help them to escape and get safe. 

May God heal you all from any abuse that you endured. God loves you! :) I promise. 

Birth Defects

 I was talking to God this morning about birth defects. I felt like he told me every single person is born with some kind of birth defect that they have to overcome. It makes us stronger and more humble. My mom was born with a tendency in her spine toward scoliosis. My brother was born with a slow brain. My dad was born with hyper activity. I always thought I didn't have any issues. God just told me I was born with a defected heart. That makes sense because I often get chest pains that worry me. Not that often, but a few times every month. My dad's dad died of a heart attack. I suppose I have always wondered if that's how I will go too. 

Maybe that is why I played basketball. I knew I needed more exercise to make my heart more strong. 

About 4 years ago I thought I was having a heart attack. I probably was about to, mainly due to stress. My ex was stressing me out like no other person could at that time. That is one reason why I knew we needed to split up. I drove myself to the ER and they gave me aspirin. They told me to start taking aspirin every day. I did for a while. I read that salads are high in Vitamin K and that is the best thing to prevent a heart attack. From then on I ate more salads and tried to eat extra healthy. 

I have always had bad headaches. I think that means I have always had a higher than normal blood pressure. This might explain why, if I have a weaker heart than most people, that can raise blood pressure. 

Whatever defect you were born with, try to not get mad at God about it. You can use it to help you learn resilience. We all have to overcome something in life. God gives us all a weakness so that we will need him and others more. Ask others for help if you need to. 

Please pray that my heart will stay strong. May God bless you and heal you. :)

Rocking Chairs

 Every mom needs a rocking chair. When babies can't sleep well, a rocking chair helps a lot. If you have limited money like we usually do, I recommend buying the outdoor rocking chair made of the mesh material. Then put blankets over it to make it squishy like the padded rocking chairs. :) 

Starting a Business

The first person in my family to start a business was surprisingly my dad. He had a lawn care business. He bought too many tools though and caused my parents to have to declare bankruptcy. Starting a business is usually risky like that. Then my grandma, his mom, started a Bed and Breakfast Inn. She did pretty well doing that. I helped her clean the rooms a few times. My Uncle Gary started a Tile and Marble business. It went really well. He was able to live in Hawaii while having it. Another uncle had a roofing business in San Diego.  Another uncle had a salmon fishing business in Alaska. My grandpa had his own home repair handyman business. He trained my brother to do anything and everything. I always thought he should use that experience to start his own handyman business. My brother always talked of starting a business but hasn't yet. 

I tried starting my own business. I had a craft store for a month. The location was good but the guy who owned the building was a jerk. Maybe someday I'll run a craft store again. It would be called Children's Custom Clothing. I think it could go really well. I could sell the bracelets I make and my books there. That would be great!

I really want to run a Bed and Breakfast like my grandma did also. Another grandma had an antique store. She had a ton of furniture that she polished and made look new. It didn't do that well so she closed it down. 

I had a thought a while ago of having an ice cream store. That would be fun. I would mainly sell banana splits. How could that not go well? I also want to open an indoor mini golf course for families to go to. My city has no family fun places. That could be the first and only one. I think I could make a lot doing that. It could have a kid indoor playground area too. Although those things are hard to clean, so maybe not. :)

What business have you always wanted to start? Keep on dreaming. You never know, it might happen. :)

Sex Trafficking

 My big brother is talking to a girl he met online who I think is caught up in sex trafficking. He showed me the pics she sent him. To me they seem like add pictures. I did online dating a few times. I didn't make my pics look that great. It is possible "they" try to bait men into their sex trafficking. Most people don't realize they would be after men, but think of all the rich gay men in the world. Of course men can get sex trafficked too. 

I have always been worried about getting sex trafficked. That is why I don't talk to anyone when I go out except the cashiers. I am always aware of my surroundings. I never go out at night. I only go to stores where lots of other people are. You have to be careful, especially these days. Sex traffickers are in every city. We all just don't think about it, but maybe we should. 

It was my day off at my job one night at Papa John's. That night some guy beat up another guy that was hiding by the dumpster behind our store. The guy who got beat up was a sex trafficker. The cops had a record of him. The guy who beat him up must have known what he was doing. I lived in a truck stop city before living here, and things like that happen a ton there. I am lucky I wasn't working that night. I could have easily just taken the trash out and got kidnapped. It could be as easy as that for them. I like to think God would have told me to not take the trash out though. After that we all started only taking the trash out in the mornings. 

More about this situation with my brother. He said she got him to buy Bitcoin but the company just went bankrupt. So what is he buying really? Any time a stranger wants your money for anything you can know it's a scam. I have talked to lots of scammers via text after posting ads on Craigslist. I always tell them, "You need to stop scamming people. That is messed up." I can tell when it's a scammer. They are very pushy. The usually have poor English. They get mad easily. They won't leave you alone. Beware of scammers. 

Anyways, please all pray for my brother to be smart about this situation with this girl. They might meet up in person soon. I have no idea if that's a good idea. If she is caught up in sex trafficking maybe she is hoping to escape. Or the worst case would be her keepers want to kidnap my brother. Be careful out there. The world is very crazy now. 

Cancer

 My dad has cancer. This sounds sad, but I was a bit happy when I found out about that. He molested me as a kid. In my opinion, he should have died a long time ago. 

I heard once that when a man is caught molesting a child, there could be hundreds of other kids that he molested. He is currently living in an old folks home that his brothers are most likely paying for, because they don't want him to live with them. 

I heard a lot on Joyce Meyer videos that she bought a house for her dad when he was old. She was raped by her dad many times. That seemed insane to me. That must have been extremely hard to do. She said God told her to do it. I suppose he did, or she just felt obligated to do it because he didn't have enough money saved for retirement. 

I don't think I would do that for my dad, even if I was rich. He is responsible for himself. I am not responsible for him. I might feel like I owe him if he didn't molest me, but he kind of messed up my entire life by doing that, so I do not owe him anything. 

If your parents hurt you in a severe way, don't feel like you owe them anything. They need to care for themselves and figure it out. That sounds cold but it's a cold world now. Let them get the karma they deserve. 

Blippi

 A favorite new past time of mine is watching Blippi videos with my son. 

Blippi is probably the most inspiring person I have ever known. Well I feel like I know him because I have probably watched all his videos on YouTube. He looks like my big brother, which I always found to be interesting. 

His net worth is 90 million. Wow. How did he do that? How did he make 90 million from making YouTube videos? He probably took a class at a community college on video editing. He went to major tourist places in several cities and drank maybe 2 cups of coffee before making the videos. :) That energy has to come from somewhere. I think it's possible that a lot of us could do what he does. But he was the first to have the idea and now he has 90 million to his name. What a genius!

I wish I would have had that idea. Or maybe I can be the next Blippi but a girl version. :) I am pretty sure I could do what he does if I took a video editing class. 

I bet all us parents appreciate him, because he keeps us and our children happy. He is the funniest thing you can watch, other than Drybar comedy. Thank you Blippi for entertaining all the children of America, and maybe the world. Good job to you! You deserve every million that you have. We all love you and appreciate you a lot for all the videos you made. They are great! 

My favorite one is him visiting the zoo. :) Go watch it....It will make you more happy. 

My Alpha Female Cat

I seem to be having a struggle of who is in charge with my cat. She just had 5 kittens. She first birthed them under a bush. I didn't think that was a good location, because my pet bunnies always go under there. I moved them under some lounge chairs. She moved them back to the bush. I moved them to a fenced in circle with chairs in and out of it so she could jump in. She moved them to a bush in my front yard. I moved them under a table in the back yard. She moved them back to the front yard. I finally might keep them and her in my garage all day until the kittens are bigger. I just need to let the AC in there a few times a day so it stays comfortable for them. We both probably are worried the bunnies might run over them on accident, so we keep thinking what is the best place for them to protect them. 

So my cat is most likely an alpha cat. Her breed is Siamese. She got into a big fight with our neighbor cat one day. I thought about giving her away because of that. It was an all out crazy cat fight. I read that cats of the same gender have the biggest fights due to being territorial. My bf said they were probably fighting over a male cat. I think they both were just like, "Hey back off of my territory." 

Human females can get very territorial too.

I lived with my mom for a while after my second child was born. I tried to organize her house better, but she didn't like that. I moved some things around, and she said to me, "This is MY house." So I didn't move anything else. Every time I have lived in the same house as another woman there has been conflict and unspoken tension. I have rented rooms to women, and it did not go well usually. Maybe all women are alphas, or at least most act like they are. With one girl she kept putting her onions on the kitchen counter, and I kept putting them in the pantry. I should have just texted her and said, "Your onions belong in the pantry." She slammed the door every time she left the house, even after I asked her to close it quietly. I don't know why she was so rude. She could have been a narcissist. She most likely also hated it that she was single, and I had a boyfriend. 

Alpha sign people generally are harder to get along with. They want what they want. They don't care what you want. It comes off as very rude, obviously. They should consider what others want and be willing to negotiate, but most alphas cannot be reasoned with. 

My cat cannot be reasoned with. I wish I spoke cat, and we could discuss the best place for her kittens. I'll just keep them inside and then the location war between her and I will be over.

Pray that my kittens will grow up happy and strong. Thanks all. :)

Leading Well

 Every natural born leader is gifted by God to lead others, but the important thing is to lead well. You can lead people off of a cliff if you aren't careful. I was just watching a Jay Shetty show and there was so much talk about drugs. I was thinking, "Good Lord why are you so interested in drugs?" I have heard the best thing for your health is to put nothing man made into your body, but this guy was a body builder, and they usually take crazy substances all the time. Watch out for putting man made things in your body. Keep it natural. 

You can influence people toward good things or bad things. I try to always be a good influence. It is probably because I have been around so many bad influences that I am determined to always be a good influence on others. I always try to speak and act in ways that lead to life and wholeness.

Ok the other day I didn't do perfectly with that. Maybe I influenced in leading others to anger or angry responses. There is a lot of stress around me for now, so anger seems to feel like a natural response. 

If you lead others, don't lead them into anger or depression or taking any kind of drugs. Lead others to life, to speaking positively, to being kind and helpful to others. We all influence someone in our life. Make sure your influence is a positive one and not a negative one. 

Living with Two Alphas

It is a bit difficult now living with two alpha males. My bf is alpha for sure. The other is just my baby but he already seems very alpha. The movie Boss Baby is probably about an alpha baby. Not all babies are the same. My two daughters were a lot more docile. My baby boy is very much in charge already. We are all born under a sign, which some say is demonic to follow that, but I say it all makes sense. It can be beneficial to understand the personlity of the various signs. I don't recommend following horoscopes, but sign personalities usually do match up. You are what sign you are born under. You probably cannot change. If you were born under an alpha sign, you are alpha. If you were born under a beta sign, you are beta, meaning you are more submissive. 

I remember Joyce Meyer would always say she wished she was more sweet and kind but her personality is not like that. She is naturally more fiesty. Of course that also is because she was sexually abused, but it's also because of her birth sign. 

I have had some conflict lately with my bf. I am also an alpha sign, so it can be harder for me to submit to any form of authority. I tend to want things done my way. He has his opinions, and I have mine. Our entire time being together he was so chill and did what I wanted, but now he seems to want to become a dictator all of a sudden. He refuses to let me cuddle with my baby at night. I am very frustrated about that. So we are butting heads over that, which is a funny saying for this because he is the goat sign. I am a Sagitarrius. Hopefully we will figure out a compromise on this. Please pray for us to remain in peace despite our disagreements. 

My Struggle with Fear

 Very often people I have known have struggled with fear. I used to while in school. I had a big fear of talking in class. I have no idea why. I think I just didn't want others to think of me as stupid, so I kept silent. For some odd reason I thought anything I said might sound retarded. I think that was spiritual attack. Satan wanted me to stay silent so I would be weak. 

I missed out on so much though because I was so silent. If I could go back in time I would have said anything that was on my mind, like I do now. :) Working in customer service for the past 20 years has helped me to become more courageous. I needed to learn to be more open and I have, through that. 

I think that is also why I write so much now. I have been silent for too long. 

Don't let fear keep you from being a fun, talkative and happy person. Who cares if people don't like what you say. Say what you think anyways. You will be happier the more you express yourself. Say what you need to say. Let it out. Don't stuff your important thoughts anymore. Time to be more bold and share your true thoughts. 

Perspective

 Your perspective on any situation is key. You can wake up thinking your day will be great. You will then make it great. You can feel dread over what you have to do that day, but what is the point to that?

Feelings can be good. If you really don't want to do something, don't do it. Changing your perspective might help though. Think that it will go well, whatever it is, and it most likely will. 

Maybe you have a date. Picture it going well. Maybe you have a job interview. Picture yourself getting hired right away. 

Your mind will create your future. What you see yourself doing is what you probably will do. Our imagination dictates our thoughts and those dictate our actions and those dictate our future. If you want your future to be peaceful, think peaceful thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Don't let negative thoughts ruminate in your mind too long. 

You have to switch your attitude if you feel negative. Playing fun music can help. Watching something inspiring on YouTube can help. Try to keep your thoughts positive if you want your life to be positive. 

For example, I need to get a new battery for my car today. It has not been starting very well. Granted the car is 20 years old and the heat this summer has been crazy. Maybe it killed my battery just from it being so hot outside. Old cars just need greater care. I will imagine that it will go well. The line won't be long. They will have the battery I need, and it won't be overpriced. And they will think my car looks cute even though I stupidly covered it in contact paper 2 years ago. I did that to re-create my other car I had like this one. My first car was a white Toyota Echo. I bought this car 3 years ago. It looked the same except the outside was grey. I decided to make it white, but the contact paper looks kind of silly. Oh well. It can't be undone. 

Today I might go buy more flowers. I will picture myself getting the most gorgeous flowers for my outside area ever. I will believe that they will not die in this summer heat, but they will have a long life. 

If you stay home or if you work, have a positive perspective about it. If you work, you get to be social all day and that is great. If you stay home, you get to not be bothered by many people and that is great too. 

Whatever your lot in life is, be grateful for it. There is always something about it you can appreciate. 

Forgive Them

I think a lot of marriage conflict is due to anger that each has at the opposite sex. I used to make bracelets a lot. I am sure that is the main reason I have arthritis issues and that triggered the pre-clampsia that I had. I put on a bracelet one time, "Forgive Him." I felt like that was a word from the Lord. I have so many him's that I need to forgive. Almost every him I have known, I need to forgive. 

My dad molested me. My brother did too. Another older guy did. All the guys who broke my heart I need to forgive. I still need to forgive my ex for letting his mind go insane and causing our family break up. My grandpa for speaking harshly at times. Guys that I worked with who were demeaning toward me. 

I am sure every guy has a lot of hers that he needs to forgive. The start of most relationships is both people talking about their exes and how they were hurt by them. You help each other heal from all the previous pain. You assure each other that you will never hurt them like that other person did. 

There is always so much pain to heal from. 

May God help you all heal from your own pain from the opposite sex. Let those people go. Don't let them continue to hurt you by remembering what they did to you. Forgive and forget, when you are ready to. 

Marketing

 I might soon make garage sale signs to market my books on Amazon. Search Lisa Bedrick books to find them. You can buy blank signs online. 

The trick is to put the signs where they could stay forever. I think grocery store parking lots might work the best. 

It is partly about making money off them but mainly to change the world! To get my thoughts to more people and hopefully make the world more positive and loving. 

I love the quote from The Dead Poet's Society, "Don't let anyone tell you that words and ideas can't change the world. Words and ideas can change the world." 

What method do you prefer to use to make the world a better place to live? 

The AC

 A few days ago my AC vent in my room was leaking. Not a lot, just a bit. We live in a slightly older home. It was probably built in the 60's. I thought about calling the AC repair guys, but then figured I could just not run the AC so hard. That seems to have fixed the leaking problem. 

From now on I will set it at 74 during the day, maybe 76 if it's super hot outside. At night instead of 68 I'll put it at 71. 

Lately it has been 106 every day here in Texas. Killer temps for sure. I felt like God said he was punishing the city I'm in. There are a lot of bad people here. Maybe the crazy high temps will make all the evil people go live somewhere else. I live in Odessa. For several years this city was the highest crime city in the entire U.S. 

Why do I live here? I came here to try to see my daughters again. That didn't work out, but maybe someday it will. I could have lived in Florida, but with the humidity that may have felt just as hot. 

I have always wondered if the AC puts out toxic chemicals. In one place I lived there was a sign on the AC unit that said it can cause cancer. So if you run your AC hard all day, I recommend you run it more lightly. The less toxic chemicals in the air, the better. 

I think it is also wise to crack at least one window at night to let some fresh air in and let those chemicals out. You may have less allergy problems and less headaches. Fresh air is always nice to breath in. 

I hope you all are enjoying your AC this summer and that it keeps working. But watch out for the side effects of it and try to run it not so strong. It is less drain on the power grid, and your lungs will thank you someday. 

Goals

 When my son is around 16 and he has a girlfriend and has less time for me, I would love to get a Masters in counseling. Then maybe I could start my own counseling private practice for children. I have always wanted to counsel children of any age about abuse they endured. I know if I can say to them "I have been there" it would mean a lot to them. My dad attempted to rape me when I was 6. 

My other big goal is to start a custom children's clothing store. I would use fabric paint and put encouraging phrases on kids' shirts, maybe Bible verses. 

I also want to sail around the world on a cruise with my man and my son. 

Maybe someday I can get full custody of my first two daughters again. I just need to have more money. Hey, go buy some of my books. Search Lisa Bedrick books on Amazon. :)

Kids Cause a Goodbye

 Before I got pregnant I felt like God said to me, "He doesn't realize this will make him have to say goodbye to you." That was in reference to me getting pregnant and having Zach's baby. Why did God say that? Not that I would leave physically, but we barely see each other now. 

Before I had our baby I would water the yard in the mornings, take a bath, and then come and cuddle with him. We pretty much never cuddle anymore. I always only cuddled with him in the mornings because he didn't snore then, for whatever reason. At night my man snores as loud as an airplane. :) 

Now he has to work tons. He works 14 hour days 3 days a week, 7 hour days 3 days a week and only gets one day off. On that one day he is so tired all he wants to do is drink and sleep all day. 

So children have a way of making couples say goodbye to each other, even though they are still technically together. This is why a lot of couples wait to have kids or never have kids. They know they will barely see each other afterwards. But that is life. 

When I was younger I never wanted to have kids actually. One of my exes convinced me by saying, "Well who will take care of you when you are old?" I was like, "Ok, that is a good reason to have kids."

To all you fellow parents, I know how you feel if you miss your mate. Someday you will get to hang out with them again, when the kids are grown. Or when they are teens, and they want to have their own life apart from you. Hang in there and stay strong. :)

Why Divorce Happens

 Half of all marriages end in divorce. Why is that? I think it's because men don't understand women and women don't understand men. Women don't understand why men love to drink and smoke in excess. Men don't understand why women love to spend tons of money. Women don't understand why men are always thinking about sex. Men don't understand why women almost never think about sex. It's because we have to deal with the pain. Men just get to enjoy the fun part of procreating. 

Women don't understand why men are so attached to their mom or grandma. Men don't understand why women aren't super close to their family. It's because we like being independent and grown up. 

Both genders don't understand why the other gets fat really easily. We don't get why we all can't look like movie stars forever. We can't because movie stars barely eat anything. I don't know how they do it. They have millions of dollars but are barely allowed to eat anything. That must get super frustrating for them. 

Women don't understand why men obsess over their cars or trucks. Men don't understand why women keep buying more home decoration things. It's because we have to look at our house 24/7 and we like it to look very nice and happy. 

Women don't understand why some men watch porn for hours. Men don't understand why women can do online shopping for hours. Both are just something to do so we aren't bored. Both can be destructive to a marriage, but most people think their marriage will never end, so they do stupid things like that. 

If both genders would try to understand each other better, there would be less divorces. Maybe in the future we can all try to understand each other more. 

Don't be Reckless

 My ex- husband was reckless with his brain his whole life. In high school he did lots of drugs. In college he drank a lot. After college he got into Charismania as I call it. That was basically religious drugs, "getting high in the Holy Spirit." Don't get high in the Holy Spirit. It will only make you go insane. 

Then he watched porn for hours when we were married and missed a ton of sleep. He kept saying toward the end of our marriage that he only slept 4 hours each night. I thought he was making that up to make me feel sorry for him. He was most likely just staying awake to watch porn an excessive amount. What a dork. 

So my ex messed up his brain in any way he could. It makes sense that he went insane by age 38. Don't be reckless with your brain. You only get one.

 Eat veggies. Sleep 9 hours at least every night. Avoid drugs and drinking if you can. Never watch porn. And stay away from any church that prays in tongues. They are pretty much all just going to cause you to go insane. Stay around normal people so you will stay normal too. :)

Thoughts on Respecting Yourself

 So many people put up with so much abuse. They either abuse themselves or let others abuse them. I remember reading that sexual abuse victims feel like damaged goods. It is common for abuse victims to let one person after another hurt them, because their self-esteem is low. 

If you don't really like yourself, you will let all kinds of bad things happen to you. You will over eat and hurt yourself that way. You will allow verbal abuse toward you to occur often. 

I had a co-worker who kept letting her boyfriend hit her. Every day almost he would beat her up a lot. To be fair she beat him up too. I didn't get why she kept letting that happen. I figured maybe it was their entertainment instead of watching movies. I think it mainly was due to low self-respect. They both did some kind of drugs too, so that was another way they disrespected themselves.

On the Jay Shetty show yesterday I heard a great quote. "Don't let grief be an excuse to hurt yourself." It made me think how I started smoking cigarettes after I lost my daughters. I did not smoke when I was pregnant though. Praise God for helping me to respect myself and my baby then. 

When we miss someone we might hurt ourselves. We blame ourselves for them being gone so we lose respect for ourselves and hurt ourselves. Don't do that. 

Forgive yourself. Whatever you need to forgive yourself for, forgive it. Not every choice in life is easy. Most things are out of your control. We can't do much about what others decided to do or what they wanted. You have to just let things go sometimes. You have to let people go sometimes. Most things will not last forever. You can hope that they will, but realistically life is very unpredictable. Always be ready for anything. Then you won't have a mid-life crisis when things go bad. You will be mentally ready for it. 

There is a fine line though between expecting bad things and realizing that they might happen. If you expect bad, you might cause it. If you realize bad things might happen, you have a back-up plan. You are prepared for anything. 

Respect yourself. No matter what you have done, you deserve to be treated well simply because you are a human. And let the past go. 

Self Respect

 If you respect yourself, you will never let anyone hit you. You will never let people verbally abuse you every day without saying sorry. You wouldn't abuse your body with over eating and junk food and abusing alcohol. You would stay away from any kind of drug, except Advil. 😀

If you respect yourself, you would dress in a way that wouldn't make the opposite sex undress you with their eyes. You wouldn't wear tons of make up that hurts your skin and causes acne. 

If you respect yourself, you wouldn't be careless with spending money, 💰 always living on the edge. You would stick to a budget every week and save some money each week. 

If you really respect yourself, you would respect others, 👫 because the degree that you respect others is the degree that they will respect you. 

New Kitten Babies

 My cat just had 5 kittens. I now have 3 cats, 5 kittens, 6 turtles and 4 bunnies. I even considered getting baby ducks a while ago. I always wanted a farm. Now I have one. 😂

I have never had bunnies and newborn kittens at the same time. My bunnies are free range bunnies. 😁 I was worried they could hurt the kittens. I put the kittens under a chair and wrapped a blanket around it so the bunnies won't potentially stomp all over them. They are kind bunnies, but they don't know what they could do. The mom cat can still get to the kittens.

I tried keeping them in our garage, but it gets too hot in there. I have a fan on them using the outside outlet, so they should survive the crazy summer heat that way. I could keep them in a room inside, but it gets way too smelly when the mom cat poops inside. I don't get how people with indoor cats can handle that. You have to open a window to air it out, but then your cold AC air goes out the window. Ah cats...this might be why most people have dogs. But cats are so much cuter than dogs. 

I can't wait to see these new cute kittens grow up and wrestle and climb the trees. Yay for kittens. 😁

Rich Kids and Issues

 Why do children with rich parents end up doing drugs? Why are they usually less responsible with money? Maybe it's because they feel they can never fill the shoes of their parents, so they give up before they even try.

I have noticed that weak parents produce strong children. Strong parents tend to produce weak children. Why is that? When there are strong parents, or rich parents, the kids think the parent will always catch them when they fall, so they feel totally ok with falling a lot. When the parents are weak the child is more cautious about falling, because they don't know if anyone will catch them. 

I have been in both situations. I had a single mom for 7 years. Then she married my step-dad and I had rich parents, at least kind of rich. I probably became more careless with money because I always felt they could give me money if I needed it. They were my safety net. I used to always say, "My mom is my savings account." But lately she has been weak. She hasn't worked in about 10 years, but she deserved to retire early due to having scoliosis. My step-dad has money, but he isn't really my dad, so I don't feel entitled to it in any way. 

Since my mom has not been working, I have become stronger. I have been fending for myself. I have tried hard to keep myself from needing their help. When I separated from my ex, I needed help for a few months but then I figured out how to care for myself. I had to give up my kids so I could stop being dependent on my parents. I probably could have gotten government assistance, but I don't really like doing that. 

It is tricky when you need help from your parents. Ideally none of us ever should. Emergencies happen but then we need to get back up and run for ourselves again. 

My Wonderful Second Chance

About two years ago I hit a deer with my car while on a pizza delivery. It messed up my car so much that it was barely working. The break pedal became almost impossible to push. I asked God why he let that happen to me. He said it was so I would be ready to start a family again. I wasn't ready then, so I sold that car and got a smaller, more fuel efficient car so I could keep doing pizza deliveries. I had to endure a bit more work drama and another demeaning boss before I was ready. 

All women have to decide how they will contribute to society. Some do it with having children. Others do it with having a great career that they feel happy doing. I have done almost every job out there. I have seen the world, which I wanted to do before having kids. There is nothing else I wanted to accomplish. So I was ready for family number two to begin. 

I resented a few times that I had to start at square one again. My ex refused to work things out with me. He refused to let me see my first two daughters. So I had to start over. I have realized lately though that he and I never really loved each other. He was not capable of love, for whatever reason. I therefore did not love him because I felt he did not love me. 

I think as you get older you become more capable of love. When you are young, you don't know what love is. You think love is just passion, but it is generosity and humility. It is forgetting about yourself and putting the other person first. It is never wanting to hurt them in any way. It took me 35 years to figure out love. I suppose some never figure it out. 

Family number 2 began in a very difficult way. I had a C Section 2 months ago. It was the hardest week of my life. It all started when my mother in law came over and noticed I looked off. She took my blood pressure and it was very high. She suggested that I go to the hospital. Luckily I was mentally prepared for this. I had been reading about presclampsia and realized that I might have that. My pee had foam in it for awhile, and I realized that probably was not normal. I read that babies can be and should be delivered early in such situations. But I was worried my baby would be in the ICU for awhile. Praise God he came out healthy. He was about 2 weeks early, but he was ok. At first they tried to induce my labor. That wasn't working, so 12 hours after they tried that I had a C section done. I guess before the C Section I said to the nurses, "Can we just get this over with?" So they did. It all seemed like a dream, but it was real. At that point I had been infused with God knows how many drugs. I was not myself. I kept trying to get off my hospital bed before the C Section, but my boyfriend wouldn't let me. He had a very firm look on his face as if to say, "No we are doing this." I'm sure my instincts kicked in and I was thinking, "Why am about to let them cut me open? That is crazy." So I was trying to escape. 

But it happened. I had the C Section. The pain was quite annoying afterwards. I had a hard time getting up to pee and walking arond. I was walking like a turtle, which is funny because now I have 5 pet turtles. I wish I could say to them, "I was just like you a little bit ago." I survived though. That is all that matters. They put me on a ton of blood pressure medication that caused me to hallucinate a bit. They were all silly halluciations like worm people falling over each other. I don't recommend that anyone takes that. It really is just acid, I think anyways. Like acid off the street. It did not help my bloood pressure at all. What did help was getting home and sleeping more and eating good foods. God kept telling me to drink lots of juice, so I have been doing that for 2 months now. I just live off of juice, and yogurt and salads. That is how I got my blood pressure back to normal. 

I never thought I would have a C Section. Ever since I started my period at 12 I have been horribly afraid of getting pregnant and having a C Section. But I did it. I overcame, and I am very proud of myself for surviving all that. If you ever need a C Section, I promise you too will be ok. Just believe that you will be ok and you will be. 

A Crazy Guy

 The most crazy guy I have ever known was not my ex-husband. It was my ex bf. I can't believe I considered having kids with him a few times. I could tell he was crazy when I noticed he didn't wear socks. Who wears shoes without socks? That is disgusting. 

The other odd thing was he was giving every dollar he made to his mom when I first met him. She was a millionaire supposedly. She didn't need the money. But he had a gambling problem, so he didn't trust himself to have more than $10 in his bank account at all times. If he had more, he would go play poker or gamble in some other way. After he was with me a while, he asked his mom for all his money back. I guess I helped him recover from that issue. His mom kept 4k of his money and gave him the other 40k back. He was shocked that she kept some. I was like, "Well that was her accounting fee I guess." He said she mentioned doing something like that once. 

No matter how much he had, he always acted like he was broke. That may have been because he was Jewish. He did teach me something about money though. The more rich you act, the more broke you will be. The more poor you act, the more rich you will be.

He used to be addicted to cocaine. Some girl introduced him to it when he was about 20. He couldn't afford to live on his own, so he lived with his mom and then his dad and then his grandma. They all kept kicking him out because he was stealing money from them. They all spoiled him and let him live with them for free. He didn't have to pay any of them rent because each of them was a millionaire. Jewish people know how to get rich. 

When he was with me, he stopped using cocaine, but he drank 3 Monster drinks every day. Then he got terrible headaches, and he didn't know why. Of course it was from the energy drinks. You can't put that much poison in your body and expect to feel ok still. I read that if you have 6 Monster drinks in a day, it will kill you. Be careful with energy drinks ya'll. 

Due to the energy drinks, he was always on edge. He seemed non stop mad about something. He had it pretty easy with me, so there was almost nothing for him to be mad about. He lived with me for free. He got us groceries sometimes and that was great. He tried being generous with me a few times, like offering to buy me a new phone, but I always turned down his offers. I don't know why. I suppose because I don't like taking anything from anyone. "There is no such thing as a free lunch." The more you accept from someone, the more you feel like you owe them. He was not the kind of person I wanted to feel like I owed anything to. He had a problem with being able to forgive. His ex possibly cheated on him, and he was still bitter at her the entire year I knew him. I wanted to tell him every day, "Just get over it man." I doubt that would have helped though. He constantly watched videos about Narcissism to convince himself that she was the main one with the issues. He had issues too, but narcissists never look in the mirror. They see what is wrong with everyone else but never themselves. That is why people like him never get any better. 

The craziest thing he ever did was threaten to drop me off on the side of the road on our way back from 6 Flags. I don't think I did anything that bad. I was just being quiet. That seems to really annoy people if you won't talk to them in the car. I remember another ex going psycho on me for being silent in the car. Why do you always have to talk in the car? I don't think anyone should have to if they don't feel like talking. Most likely it was just that the driving was bothering them. I really like driving. Some people hate driving. Those people should just stay home I would say. 

I have had lots of drama with all my exes. I finally found a peace loving man and a calm place to call home. Thank God my man knows how to stay in peace. I hope we will always maintain a peaceful and happy home. 

May God bless you all with a peaceful home. Keep it peaceful. :)

Teething

 Baby teething, it is a hard phase for the baby and caregiver or mother. What can you do to keep the baby happy?

A baby is less inclined to drink a lot in this stage because their gums hurt. The teeth take about 2 weeks to break through the gums. This is when babies can get very difficult. A good idea is to push the baby around in a stroller inside. If you have a bigger house, this is possible. Move the furniture and do some laps around your home with your baby. It will help them calm down, or sleep if they need to, and you get some exercise yay.... It is generally too hot in the summer to exercise outside, so go for walks inside. 🙂

Teething babies need more cuddles. Try to hold them more often throughout the day. Take a few breaks each day from chores and just sit with your baby on the bed. Turn the TV off and just focus on them. Have more relaxed bonding time with them. 

When you eat, put their stroller next to you and talk to them. Then they get to see what those painful teeth will be used for eventually. 😀

Go outside in the evenings and just sit with the baby. Everyone needs to get fresh air to feel more relaxed.

This too shall pass. Once the teeth get through the gums, the baby will be happy again. Praise God. ☺

Toxic People

If you want a happy life, avoid toxic people. 

Toxic people get bored easily, because they don't have a hobby or a job that they love. Therefore they start drama in any way they can. They love disaster and mayhem. They love destroying other people's lives. That is the most entertaining thing ever for them, for some reason. 

Misery loves company. They want others to feel just as sad and lonely as they feel, so they break up relationships whenever they can. They insult you and accuse you of being bad, even if you are not. 

Toxic people are boundary violaters. They don't care what you want. They only want what they want, when they want it. 

They have been spoiled their whole lives. They spoil themselves, and others have spoiled them. They are used to getting pretty much anything they want, any time they want it. They do not respect anyone else. 

They don't really respect themselves either, because they know they cause others lots of pain. They seem to be in love with themselves, but really they hate themselves. They hate how they treat others, but it is almost impossible for them to change and to be nice. 

They lie and steal any chance they get. They only care about themselves and almost no one else. 

If you are ever around a toxic person, just ignore their crazy behavior. Don't let their madness make you go insane too. Focus on something else, like learning new health tips on the Jay Shetty show. 😁

My Thoughts on Money

 Rich people never stop working. If you want to acquire great wealth, work like a dog every single day doing something. You never know when your hard work will really pay off. 

Rich people invest in houses. If you ever have extra money, buy a house. Buy 10 houses. The game of monopoly taught us all that. :)

Rich people don't care about money as much you might think they do. The more you care about money, the harder it will be to get. Think of what you want to do with your money rather than the money itself. Then you will accomplish that goal. 

What would Jesus do? Was he rich? No, not necessarily, but he never went hungry, except when he was fasting on purpose. Jesus always had his needs met. Why? Because he was always doing something. "A teacher is worthy of his wages." He taught. He healed. He was always busy. There wasn't a lazy day for Jesus. He never just slept all day. He never just did nothing for a long time. He was either praying or helping others in some way. 

If we all work like Jesus did, we will always have our needs met too. Never get lazy. Always try to help others in some way and then all your needs will get met too. Believe it and receive it. 

Getting rich is not everything. The ultimate goal of life should be helping others. "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these earthly things will be added to you as well." 

Keep working hard. Your hard effort will reward you eventually.

Conflict

 The cause of pretty much every conflict, and most parting of the ways of two people, is when two people want two totally different things. 

For example, and this is a sad analogy, but my dad wanted to get physical with me as a kid, but I didn't obviously. So that created conflict and a parting of the ways for us. 

My ex wanted me to have a 3rd kid, because he was dying to have a son. I didn't really want to. That was probably the main reason we parted ways. I figured the two lovely girls I already gave him should have been enough. 

My ex mother in law really wanted to vaccinate my girls. I didn't want that, at all. So we stopped being friends because of that. 

The only thing my best friend and I have conflicted over is I think she should try online dating, but she really doesn't want to. Otherwise we agree on pretty much anything. That is why we have stayed friends for 23 years. 

My mom and I haven't conflicted on too much. I didn't really want her to marry my step dad but she did anyways. Once she was married, I didn't disagree with her over it anymore. It was already done. 

Anytime two people want two very different things, there will be conflict. The way to avoid this is to pretty much never want anything, at least not a lot. 

Watch out for wanting something that is totally different from what others want, within reason. If you know what is best, stick with that. Maybe you can change the mind of the other person to want what you want. If you can't, just let it go. Whatever you want so bad, just let it go. Then you will never have conflict ever again. Very nice. 

Happy 4th of July

 Here are ideas on how you can serve our great nation...

If you see trash, Pick It Up. Don't worry, it won't give you rabies. 😂

Put your shopping cart back where it should go. 

Pick up your dog poop so it won't attract flies. 

Be a nice driver.

Hug your family every day. The more hugs, the less angry people we would have running around. 

Make pb and j's for homeless people and give them a bottle of water. Maybe that will help them want to work finally so they can then do likewise. 😁

Don't be a litter bug. 

Don't let your dogs run around in the street, and keep them quiet. 

If you do fireworks, clean up your mess. 

Never act in a mean way, no matter how pissed off you feel. 

If you see stray animals, take them to a shelter. 

Keep your grass cut so it looks nice. 

Watch only happy things so you can always be happy. 😊 

Never yell at anyone. Go take a relaxing bath instead. 😁

I hope you care about America and strive to make it a better place like I do. 

May God bless you all! 

Jealousy Over Children

 I think it is very common that husbands are jealous of the love between a mother and a son. Women also get jealous of the love between a father and a daughter. 

Perhaps each parent wonders if that kid will replace them emotionally someday. That happens quite often. A woman might love her son more than her man. A father may begin to love his daughter more than his wife. 

Obviously that is not good if that happens. I heard in sermons a lot, "A marriage is forever. Kids are only for 18 years. You need to love your spouse more than you love your kids." Also if you forget about loving your spouse and focus on the kids, that marriage won't last very long. 

It is always a balancing act for every mom. She needs to try showing equal love to her man and her kids. It can be quite tricky to do that. 

I named my son James. I realized after that the meaning of that name is "supplanter" or replacer. To me that means it could be easy for me to let my baby boy replace my man in my heart. I need to watch out for that. 

Spouses are supposed to be the first priority, then children. 

The love a parent has for their child needs to be in light of knowing they won't be around forever. Someday they will fall in love and run away from you, emotionally. That transition will be a lot smoother if you don't let them into your heart too much in the first place. Then you will be more ok with them falling in love and leaving you. 😣

When it is time to, let your kids go. Realize that your call to parent is only temporary. Always and forever keep your mate as your first priority. They deserve that. 

Precious Memories

 My mother in law is bringing a bouncer toy over for my baby boy today. I'm very excited about it. It reminds me of when I had Joy, my second girl. I would put her in her bouncer every morning and say, "Hi Joy," several times to her while I was making breakfast and washing their bottles. It was so cute. She would just smile and smile, like my baby boy smiles at me now in the mornings. 

I think the smell of me making coffee makes him want to smile more. That makes sense. :)

Other good memories I have... I remember Joy poking our bunny in the eye multiple times. That was funny. He had black around his eye. Maybe she was just enthralled by how his eye looked. I remember Serenity going in circles around the driveway on her scooter and making it look like a circus act. The only thing we watched with a circus was Madagascar 3. It was adorable to see her do that. I remember her speeding down the street on her scooter, just as fast as a car would go. I was always amazed with her great athletic ability. If there was a scooter Olympics for kids, she would have won the gold medal for sure. 

I remember doing exercise videos with Joy called Just Walk, or something like that. We would do the step aerobics together in the living room. It was adorable to see her do it with me. I remember taking the girls to the pool and them climbing up the ladder and jumping in the water into my arms. That was so cute. 

When Serenity was a newborn, I took about 10 pictures of her every day in all kinds of outfits. She was my first child, so I was on cloud 9 having her. She made me so, so happy! Often times the flash was on with my phone so she would wince at the bright light flashing in her face. That was funny. I didn't know back then how to turn the flash off. 

After Joy was born I went to pick her up at the hospital and I felt so much love for her. I have never felt so much love for anyone in my life. It might be because her birth was high risk. She came out blue with the umbilical cord around her neck. I think it was from the Pitocin they gave me to speed up my labor. I was so thankful that she made it and I promised her and myself I would take excellent care of her. 

I felt a similar great compassion for my current baby. He was a primi and was only 5.5 pounds at birth. He was so skinny, but that made him so much cuter. I kept thinking he reminded me of my big brother who was always super skinny. I felt much closer to him for that reason. I promised him I would help him get fat quickly, and I did. He looks like a little football player now. :)

I remember I baptized Serentiy in a lake. I dunked her without fully explaining the whole thing. I think she thought I was trying to drown her. That was pretty funny. I mean I felt bad too, obviously. With Joy, I baptized her by just putting water on her head. I figured I should make it a more fun experience for her. 

I remember going on bike rides with Serenity in a bike seat in front of me. With her helmet on she looked like a baby toadstool. People passing us were always like, "Oh she's so cute!" I was like, "I know...." 

One time I was lying in bed with Joy for nap time, but she didn't seem tired. So we were going over what sounds different animals make. That was always so cute when we did that. 

I remember playing hide and go seek with the girls in our house. Usually, they would hide in a closet. That was lots of fun. We often went to rivers and lakes and hiking trails all over Austin together. I had so much fun raising them for the 7 years that I did. But then it all went up in smoke, for many reasons.

Those memories are why I wanted to repeat all that with a new family, and now I am. Praise God for giving me another family. It is so wonderful to get to be a mother again. 

How Many Kids?

 I think one reason most parents have multiple kids is because they worry one of their kids will die or get paralyzed. 😲😔 The problem is though, the more kids you have, the greater risk of bad things happening to each of them. 😪

They can hurt each other. You can't focus on each one individually for very long. One kid might dare another kid to do something stupid and dangerous. Or one just wants to prove he is just as cool as his brother so he does risky things. They compete for their parents favor, so they try to one up each other often. 

I like the verse, "As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another." That verse is about siblings, I would say. They may make you sharper, but it hurts. 😂

With multiple kids you get jealousy, competition, pushing each other down due to jealousy. The more kids, the more fighting over toys or food. Favoritism always happens when there is more than one. One kid feels special and the rest feel jealous and hate the special one. What did Joseph's brothers do? They tried to kill him. 😳

So in light of all that, parents who only have one kid are the smartest. As long as that one kid stays alive and healthy, it is the best possible life a parent can have. 😁

Kids and Money

 I used to tell my ex that when my girls grew up and got married we could live with them. I said that could be our retirement. He said that was stupid. I was thinking after all the waking up in the middle of the night for them, that didn't seem stupid to me. 

All kids do owe their parents. They kept you alive for 18 years and provided all your needs. That is why God said, "Honor your mother and father." 

I used to struggle with that given my dad and step-dad were child predators. It is never totally easy to honor your parents, but it's good in the long run if you can. 

If your parent needs anything, you should help them, if you are able to do so. 

The issue in our modern world is most parents are so rich, their kids know they won't have to help them. I suppose that is both a blessing and sad. Then families stay far apart when no one needs anyone else. 

This is why poor families are somewhat cute. They all help each other a lot, because they all need help at some point. My grandma had to help my mom a lot when she was a single mom. I'm sure she appreciated her daughter asking for help. But now we all are so independent. Most people don't need other people for anything. This causes an isolation that causes the depression issue in our society. Very sad. 

Mom Attachment

 This may seem odd, but every time my bf talks to his mom in person or texts her I feel jealous. Why do I feel that way? I now know why. Because my ex husband basically left me to go marry his mom. I have always heard the Oedipus complex says that every man wants to kill his father and marry his mother. Ewe...

Emotionally Ben was married to his mom his whole life. I never mattered as much as she did. He wanted me to look like his mom and raise my kids like she would. Ultimately I think he felt she should take over mothering my kids because he knew he liked her more. 

So I have mother in law issues. I really like my current mother in law though. She is a great person. But we all have our own baggage to deal with. The first cut is the deepest. 😣

When I met Ben, the doors on his closet were all over his room. I asked, "What happened to your closet doors?" He said, "Oh my mom said it looks better that way." To me that proved she was crazy. 

We lived with her for a few months before our first baby was born. She would pace the hallway at 2am and move things around. It may have been due to a medication she was on. I did not get why she wouldn't just go to sleep. 

One time we were going on a road trip to CA so Ben could meet my parents. His mom texted and called him non stop to try to stop us from going. Maybe she feared that we would stay there forever. I wish we would have. Maybe our marriage would have lasted longer. 

She babysat our two girls for one week so we could have a beach vacation. At the end of the week she texted me a text meant for her daughter. It said, "She didn't even ask how the girls were all week." I think she was gossiping trying to say I didn't care about my daughters at all. Gossip was her favorite hobby. 

And here I am basically gossiping about her. The moral to this story is, don't be an annoying mother in law. Respect it that your child needs to move on. You should not run their life anymore. They need to bond with their mate and let go of you, so let them. Cut off those apron strings and let your kids be adults. 

Child Spanking

 For some reason, the majority of American parents now think that spanking is child abuse, but there is the verse, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." We wonder why so many kids now don't respect adults. It's because they were not spanked. If you want your kid to respect you, you have to spank them. Not a ton. Please don't spank them over just little things. Pick your battles. Meaning only spank when they do something seriously wrong. For example, my daughter was spanked for taking her seatbelt off and pushing her little sister down. There can be a fine line between good discipline and child abuse. Some parents discipline too much. Other parents like to never spank at all, which can be just as bad for the child. 

It takes energy and courage to discipline your child. You might say you don't want to abuse them, but really you don't have the courage to discipline them. You have to show any kid who the boss is, you. They are not the boss of you. You are the boss of them. Today kids are in charge of the home instead of the parents. It is very sad. I don't know how that happened, but that is why most kids are spoiled now. Most American children now are totally spoiled, selfish and narcissistic. You have to spank that ego out of them. :)

Kids will most respect adults that force them to respect them. Kids do not naturally respect adults. You have to train them to respect you. 

I spanked my oldest daughter. She needed more spankings than my younger daughter. I feel a bit bad now because she possibly had slight autism. It is possible she couldn't help what she was doing. But you could say that about any kid. They don't know any better, so you have to train them.

I think with most autistic kids, the parents feel they can't discipline them. They make excuses for the kid. Just because their brain is defective, that doesn't mean you can't treat them like other children. All children need to be disciplined. I think autistic children only get worse when they are just allowed to do whatever they want to do. I'm not saying it's easy to control such children, but the parents still need to try. If there is no control over children, our society will lead to anarchy, essentially. 

Make sure your kids respect you. It helps if you respect yourself. The more you respect yourself, the more you will know your kids need to respect you, and the more you will desire that they respect you.