How to Recover from Sexual Abuse

Statistics say that one in three women and one in four men are sexually abused at some point in their life, but sometimes, it seems like every single person has been sexually abused in some way sadly. We live in a very crazy world these days. People are more and more obsessed with power, which is the root cause of sexual abuse, not the sexual act. Satan is the ruler of this world and he has caused people to steel the innocence from far too many children. If you, or anyone you know, have been sexually abused, here are some tips on how to be able to recover from the trauma.



Steps
The first thing you need to do as a Christian is forgive whoever sexually abused you. We know that God said we need to forgive others in order for him to forgive us. It IS extremely hard though, to forgive someone who has completely scarred you for life. But with God's help, all things are possible. :) "Vindication is mine" says the Lord. God will vindicate you, either in this life or the next. Try to forgive and let the person go for what they did. Holding onto anger and bitterness will only hurt you in the end. It will only make your life miserable, and you will be letting Satan win if you hold onto to anger your whole life. Let it go.

The second thing is you need to do is forgive yourself. For whatever reason, when children are molested or abused, they tend to blame themselves and have extreme anger at the little boy or girl that they were. Psychologists say that it is easier to be angry at yourself than at the person who hurt you, especially if it was a parent. It feels more safe to say it was your fault than to think that your parent, or other adult, could be that evil and out of control. But you need to see that you were and ARE innocent. No child wants a sexual act to be done to them. NO CHILD. Children do not care about sex and have no interest in it until about the age of 12. Often times the abuser will try to tell the victim that they wanted it, but that is a lie straight from the pit of hell. Children DO NOT want to do anything sexual. Only adults do. See the little you as the completely innocent boy or girl that you were. That is the truth.

A good psychology practice to do is to pull out old pictures of the little you. Journal about how looking at the little you makes you feel. Are you angry at the little you? Why are you? Think about it logically. Should you be angry at the little you? Could the little you have done ANYTHING to stop what happened? Was the little you strong, able to find a job, intelligent etc? No! See reality as it is and not in the warped way you may have been thinking of it. You could not push the person away; you were too weak. You could not run away from home; you would have starved and died. At the time, you probably could not have done anything to stop it, so you are not guilty. Often times victims freeze when sexual abuse is being done to them because children are not able to respond like an adult would. They become paralyzed in fear. They don't know what to do at all. Try writing letters to the little you about how you feel about him or her. Make peace with the little you. This all may sound silly but it really is the number one BEST tool in forgiving yourself and coming to total healing in this area. You HAVE TO forgive the little you.

You need to learn how to have confidence despite what happened to you. Realize that what happened to you does not define you. You are only a victim if you CHOSE to be. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Amen! Don't let anyone else victimize you. Stand up for yourself! Become a strong individual! Don't let people repeatedly hurt you. And don't let Satan repeatedly hurt you, abuse you and tear you down in your mind. Tell that jerk to shut up! Sorry, but sometimes you really need to get aggressive with him. :) Identify yourself as a child of God, not as an abuse victim. Amen! Know that if your earthly parent or parents were evil or deranged in some way, that God adopted you when you got saved and you are now HIS child. Who your earthly parents are does not matter. God calls you his own. He says to you "You are mine." Receive it and believe it! :) He is the only father that matters anyways.

Get in a sexual abuse support group. It really helps to hear other people's stories to know that you are not alone. It helps to know that what you went through did not just happen to you, but it happens to millions of people. Get an older person to mentor you who has been through the same thing. Reach out to others who understand what you have been through and how it affects you now. Sexual abuse has a lot of long term affects; such as insecurity, feeling like you don't deserve much, anger at self, anger at others, etc. Get help. The best way to heal from being hurt by someone is to be loved by others. You need to reverse the effects that the abuse had. Your trust was broken badly by another human being, so the only way to gain trust in human beings again, is to be around a lot of trust worthy, good people, at church preferably. God CAN use people to help heal you and he WILL if you let him. Amen :)

Tell people your story. Write about it. Blog about it etc. It helps to get it out in the open. As long as it stays secret and hidden, Satan can use it against you to cause you shame etc. Let it out in the light. Let others tell you it's ok that that happened to you. Let others assure that it wasn't your fault. You will not really recover until you can openly talk about it.

Lastly, don't turn to alcohol or drugs to heal your pain. Look to God. He alone can make you whole again. Don't turn to medications or doctors etc. Don't just try to subdue the symptoms, get to the root. You CAN be a whole person again, you just have to have faith. Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Amen! Believe it and it will be true for you! :) May God bless you all!

More articles on my wikiHow page :) http://www.wikihow.com/User:Angel22oc

My Testimony

Here's a video of my life story that I made. Check it out if you like. :) If you feel led to, make a YouTube video of your story to possibly help others too!  God bless! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5Zqe1sMg7o

How to Have Unity with Your Spouse

How to Have Unity with Your Spouse

A lot of marriages struggle because there is a lack of unity between the spouses. Half of marriages these days end in divorce, even Christian marriages. Here are some tips on how to preserve the unity of your marriage and stay in love with your spouse until "death do you part," not divorce. Amen :)

Steps

1. First of all, Always Remember That Your Enemy is Satan, Not Your Spouse. Know that any fights are generally caused by Satan trying to dis-unify you. Satan knows that if the two of your are united, almost nothing can stop you. There will be almost nothing then that you two can't do for God's kingdom. The Bible says, "If two of you agree on anything it will be done for you." So Satan tries to get spouses to disagree, in order to take our power in Christian unity away. Also always remember the verse, "Our battle is NOT against flesh and blood but against...." Satan. Keep in mind that most of the time, if your spouse hurts your feelings, Satan in a way led them to do that. Get mad at Satan, not your spouse.

2. Resolve Conflicts Peaceably. If you do find yourself getting mad at your spouse and you are in the same room, go to another room until you cool down. If you are in a car, pull over and take a walk etc. Sometimes you need to make yourself take a time out until you can think clearly and rationally. :)

3. Pray Together. Nothing will help your marriage more than praying together. And when you pray for your spouse, don't use it as a time to indirectly tell them things that they need to change. Pray humbly and in a united way. :)

4. Don't Debate Biblical Issues. Here are some common ones: Predestination, Calvinism issues, if certain spiritual gifts are for today, pre or post trib rapture etc. It's better to not talk about debatable Christian topics with your spouse. Leave those debates for your friends. It will only dis-unify you and your spouse and cause issues.

5. Lower Expectations. Often times people go into marriage with way too high of expectations. Women might expect to swept off their feet like in Disney movies and men might expect or hope their wives to look like Barbie all the time. Realize that reality is different than our dreams. Don't put burdens on your spouse to do certain things or look a certain way. Learn to be content with them the way they are and don't try to change them. Besides, ultimatly the only person you can change is yourself. And if you want them to change on something, lead by example and do it yourself, rather than picking on them for not doing a certain thing.

6. Have Date Nights. And ladies, get dressed up for your husband on these nights. Appearance does matter to men, so sometimes it's good for us women to make an effort and try. Do yourself up like you did before you were married to keep the romance alive. smile emoticon Take at least one night a week to go out, just the two of you, no kids, so you can talk and catch up. Talk about your dreams for the future etc. Dream together. :)

7. Take a Vacation Once a Year. If the man is the bread winner, he deserves to have a nice, long break at least once a year. Cruises are a great, cheap way to vacation and travel. Most people don't vacatoin because they think it will be too expensive, but you can find inexpensive cruises easily. And ladies, control your spending and save so that you all can take that vacation. Cut back on buying clothes etc. so that you can have an awesome week as a family once a year. :)

8. Don't Have Close Friends of the Opposite Sex. Keep your closest friendships with people of the same sex. You may have had opposite sex friends before you were married, but you will probably need to cut them out of your life once you are married. It only breeds jealousy and suspicion if you are talking to a man or woman a lot that is not your spouse. Don't do it.

9. Be Nice Regarding Each Other's Parents. Everyone loves their own parents, and no one wants anyone else talking in a derogative way about their parents. If you want to have unity with your spouse, show respect for the people who raised your spouse always. :)

10. Stay in Shape for Each Other. A lot of husbands resent it if their wives put on a lot of weight after marriage. It can be hard to stay in shape after having children, but it is doable. You don't have to look perfect, but try to always look nice for each other.

11. Laugh with Each Other. Keep things light; don't get too serious. The best way to build unity and friendship is to have good times together. Watch funny movies. Laugh together at the silly things your children do. Get a pet that can make you both laugh etc. Always remember to have fun with your spouse. :)

Warnings

⦁ Men, don't look at sexual websites. If your spouse finds out, she might divorce you over it since biblically it counts as being unfaithful. Paul says the only reason for divorce is marital unfaithfulness. Looking at porn online is being unfaithful to your spouse. If you want your marriage to last, don't do it.

⦁ Women, don't over spend with money. Fights over money are the number one reason why couples divorce. Be self-controlled and content. Don't think that buying more things will make you happy. It probably won't. The only way to be happy is to find your contentment and joy in serving Christ. Amen.

May God bless you all!

Check out my new wikiHow page if you like :)

http://www.wikihow.com/User:Angel22oc

How to Take Care of Your Body

Most people don't fully know how to take care of their bodies. Maybe they weren't taught how to by their parents or grandparents. The Bible says that we are to protect and take care of our bodies, which for Christians, are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Here are some tips on how to take of yourself physically.



Steps

  Try to eat healthy. There aren't any Bible verses on what to eat per se, other than in the Old Testament. Health experts say to stay away from bread and dairy. That is a general rule, which can be very hard though. Yogurt, however, is very good for you. The best snacks really are yogurt, trail mix, Raisin Bran, apples, bananas etc. There is a good book on this topic called "The Makers Diet." I recommend it to you. :)

Drink as little alcohol as possible. Scripture talks about drunkards a lot, as that being one thing that keeps people from getting into heaven actually. But tere are a lot of Christians who do drink. Everything in moderation is always good. Paul said we are not to be mastered by anything. So as long as alcohol doesn't master you, it's ok to drink a little from time to time. :)

Get outside and walk etc. Most people don't like running or anything overly strenuous for various reasons. You can actually really injure yourself if you run too much or overwork yourself. For some, excercise seems to be all or nothing. Either they do nothing or they do too much. But finding a middle ground is always good. Don't do nothing, but you don't have to run 10 miles every day either. :) God would want us to try to get some excercise, because our bodies are his temple. He wants us to take good care of his creation and be good stewards of our bodies. So get out and walk a little today! yay! You will feel a lot better if you do. :)

Drink tons of water. Almost no one alive drinks the amount of water that they should. :) Drinking about 4 or 5 bottles of water a day will greatly improve your health and your mood. :) Plus it will keep you from getting sick as often, which is always great. :)

Try to avoid watching TV as much as possible. It's not good for your soul and spirit, usually, depending on what you watch. Plus it keeps you transfixed so you never want to get up and you really do become a couch potatoe. :( No bueno. Listening to sermons on YouTube is a great way to keep yourself entertained, or write something on here and help people. :)


Tips


Even if you were never healthy before, you can always start now. It's never too late for a new beginning. :)

If you have kids, that is all the more motivation to keep your body healthy so that you will live long for them. :)

Don't be overly concerned about counting calories or your progress in getting in shape etc. Just be healthy because it's fun and you feel better. Don't be legalistic about it or you will probably give up on it. :(

Get around healthy people, at church, work etc. If you hang out with a lot of unhealthy people, their habits can become contagious and you might catch their unhealthiness cold so to speak. Try to be around like minded people that have the same goals. :)


Warnings


Stay positive. If you think negative thoughts all the time regarding getting healthy, like that you are overweight or weak, that will only un-motivate you, not motivate you. Keep your eyes on the goal, what you want to become, not what you are now. Focus on the outcome, not the process. :)
　

How to Overcome Depression

　

Many people, and many Christians even, struggle with depression. This should not be. Christians should be the happiest people alive. Why? Because we know we are saved and sanctified in the blood of Jesus. Amen. So how can you get over depression and have the joy of the Lord? Read on. :)



Steps
First of all, know that depression can be an evil spirit. Evil spirits cannot oppress us or control our minds and emotions unless we let them. They may feed you lies like "You deserve to be depressed." or "You deserve to feel sorry for yourself and only think about yourself and be selfish with all you have gone through." or "You deserve to be bitter at that person for awhile." But don't believe the lies! Go out and love some people and your depression will go away faster. If you sit and have conversations like these with demons and agree with them your depression will only get worse. You may think those thoughts are you own, but no, they are thoughts Satan is putting in your mind to keep you defeated, hopeless and lifeless. If you give your consent to any of these lies, evil spirits will then dominate your thoughts and emotions. You are then giving Satan "a foothold" as the Bible calls it, over your mind. Like a spider, he starts to weave a web of fogginess in your mind so you stop seeing God's truth as much. You become more numb. He starts to subdue any drive or ambition you may have had. He sucks the life right out of you with his poisonous thoughts. DON'T let him.

Secondly, DO SOMETHING. A big cause of depression is doing nothing. Nothing to contribute to the world, nothing to make the lives of other people better etc. Depression is very self-focused. Your number one thought when depressed is, "What can I do for myself today? How can I make myself feel better?" But that is asking the wrong question. That is what leads to all kinds of problems like over-eating and over-spending etc. In trying to make yourself happy, happiness will only elude you more and more. You need to instead ask yourself, "What can I do to make someone else happy today." Then you will become happy. Just as Jesus said, "Whoever wants to save his life will loose it, but whoever looses his life for my sake will find it." Amen. It is only when you loose your life for others that you will find life.

Thirdly, stop being selfish. Think about other people. The more you think about only yourself, the more miserable you will feel. If you are Christian, this is probably because the Holy Spirit is trying to convict you to be more selfless and love others more. If you are not Christian, the Bible says that the law of God is written on our hearts. Everyone innately knows that they need to love others, so when we don't do that, and our focus is only on ourselves, we will always feel miserable. The goal should be to think as little of yourself as possible. Take care of your needs of course, but don't be consumed with what you need or want. Think about what other people need or want. Then you will find happiness.

Reach out to others in some way. The more you stay isolated and alone, the more depressed you will feel. We were made by God for relationships. We are meant to have friendships with other people. So get out there and make some friends. There is a great quote that says, "If you want to have a friend, you have to BE a friend." Don't start to think, "Well no one is being friends with me." YOU have to go be friends with people. You are not a victim. You are in control of your own future. You are in control of how many friends you have and what you do with your time. That is another key in depression, realizing that you DO have control over things. You are not powerless. You CAN change things if you really want to. So change some things, make some friends, and you will be happier. :)

Start a hobby to fight your depression. Do something other than watch TV or movies all the time. Do something to make the world a better place. Some suggestions are writing articles on here if you want. Writing a blog. Writing on Facebook. Self-publishing books on Amazon. (There is a link at the bottom to do that.) Getting pets to take care of. Learning how to cook new things. Making jewelry. Something fun to do that will bless others is making "Jesus Packets." You can make bracelets to put in these packets with candy, Bible tracts, cross necklaces or whatever you want. Then wrap them up as presents and leave them everywhere you go for other people to pick up. Giving things away greatly helps with depression. Being generous with your time, money or talents always helps. Always give yourself away.

Be Positive. Have hope. Have faith. As Christians we are called to be people of faith. But a great lack of faith comes along with depression. God wants us to be hopeful about our future. He said, "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Amen. And always remember the verse, "God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him." Life might be hard for a time, but in the end, God will work it all out for good. Maybe the trial you are going through now will give you a greater testimony later on, a greater story to tell others of how God helped you overcome something. Don't despair because things are hard for now. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and "this too shall pass." "Sorrow may last for the night but joy comes in the morning." Amen! I read once that we cannot know happiness without knowing sadness. We cannot truly be thankful for the good times unless we have been through some hard times. Amen? So try to see the good in everything. Always look for the positive. "Every cloud has a silver lining." Look for what that silver lining might be in every situation, and you won't be as depressed. :)
Increase your joy by watching funny videos or looking at cute and funny pictures. There is a great page on Facebook called "The Clean Humor Page" that you might enjoy :) There is also a great series of videos on YouTube called "Walk on the Wild Side" made by BBC. Check them out. They are very funny.


Tips
A big tip to fight depression is to try to be around happy people as much as possible. Cut all the negative people out of your life. Or if you can't cut them out, encourage them to be more positive. If you lead an example of being positive, they might catch on and start to be more positive too. :)


Warnings
Don't take over the counter medication to become more happy. Pills have a crippling effect. They cause you to become dependent on them until you absolutely need them. There is a theory that they actually stop your body from producing serotonin naturally as long as you are taking it synthetically in a pill. Then if you stop taking the pill, your body might not kick in and produce the serotonin on it's own anymore because it has forgotten how to do so, in a sense. Be very careful of any medication to try to alter your emotional state. Just be pro-active and change things in your life yourself, rather than trying to take a pill to fix everything. It probably won't fix everything anyways. The main thing that will improve your emotional state is doing what Jesus said, giving yourself away. Amen. :)

How to Have Peace

　

There is a great quote by Joyce Meyer in which she says that there are too many angry Christians in this world. But how can Christians learn to be at peace? The Bible gives us many ways and methods to stay at peace with ourselves, God and others. The main key to peace is forgiveness.



Steps


The first key to having peace is to do as Jesus said, stop worrying. There is no point to worrying, unless you are actually coming up with a game plan to tackle something. If you are worrying for no reason, stop. Let go and let God. Don't try to control things that you really aren't able to control anyways. God is in control and you are not. He has the whole world in his hands, so we don't need to worry. As Jesus said, "Who of you by worrying can add a single day to your lives?" You can't. So it has no point.

Another big key to have peace is to stop caring what people think about you. People will always have their opinions. Don't worry about it. What you think about you (and what God thinks about you) is all that matters. You can never please everyone, so stop trying so hard to please people. Paul said in Galatians 1, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Amen. You can't try to please both God and people. Generally you have to pick whether you are going to try to please God or the world. And as John said, "If anyone loves the world, the love of the father (God) is not in him." To try to please the world all the time is to love the world, so we need to be careful of this.

The next key to have peace is to forgive yourself, for anything and everything. This includes things you did as an adult and way back to things you have done since you were born. You can't change the past, so let it go and move on. You won't really have peace in general until you make peace with yourself. You need to generally like yourself and get along with yourself, because you will always be there. You can't get away from yourself. Wherever you go, there you are. :) So become your own friend, then you will have peace inside of yourself. God, the perfect and holy one, even gives you grace; so give yourself grace. You never have been and never will be perfect. So get over trying to be. Amen :)
Next, make peace with God. Confess what you need to and then forget about it. God says he will remove your sins as far as the east is from the west when you confess them and admit you were wrong. He puts them out of his mind and you should too. There is no sense beating yourself up over something that you can't change. Like the Serenity prayer says, "God help me accept the things I cannot change." Amen. :)

Finally, and this is very key, make peace with others. The only thing you can change about the past is the damage you may have done to relationships. You may need to make amends with some people and say sorry. Sometimes it feels like we have unfinished business if we leave something in a state of tension. Break the ice, admit you were wrong, and then you and the other person can let go of any bitterness and move on. Sometimes God won't let us rest with ourselves and be at peace unless we take care of certain things. The Bible says in Matthew 5, "Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering." Another good verse that is related to this is in Mark 11, "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions." So we need to forgive others and we need to ask for their forgiveness if we have done them wrong. When Jesus was asked how many times we have to forgive others He said 70 times 7, as in, countless times. Joyce Meyer says, "Do yourself a favor and forgive," because you will never truly have peace until you forgive everyone and anyone who has done you wrong. Amen.

Some random things that will help you to have peace: Don't do much. Don't overwork yourself. Take a Sabbath; one day a week to do nothing overly hard. Give yourself breaks. Get a massage. Go to the beach. Get outside and walk in the woods. If you don't live by woods, drive to some. :) Get a pet that will make you laugh. Always remember to have fun and find joy in life.

Lastly, don't do yoga to get peace. It is possibly occultic. It seems innocent, but it can open a door to Satan in your life. I know this from personal experience. Seek God for peace, not things of this world. Amen. :)

How to Deal with Anger as a Christian

Often times, when people are abused in any way, shape or form, they will have a lot of general anger that results from that. I will discuss how to handle this anger in a biblical way.



Steps


It sounds cliché, but take a deep breath when you are angry. You can literally take a deep breath, which will help to calm you down, and also take a step back from the situation. If you are angry at a person it generally helps to leave the room until you have calmed down. Don’t say something you will regret later. I love the quote, "I never regretted anything that I didn’t say."

Think about why you are angry. Are you misinterpreting the situation or what someone said? When you have calmed down, ask for clarification to see if you misunderstood something.

Pray about it. Ask God to help you with your anger. I have taken a class called "Free Indeed" at my church where they talk about evil spirits. I do believe there is a spirit of anger that can get a hold of us. It doesn’t possess us but it can oppress us and kind of control us at different times. You can say boldly, "In the name of Jesus, spirit of anger I command you to leave. You are not welcome here." Or another good phrase to say aloud is, "By the power and blood of Jesus Satan be gone!" I have done that myself and have been surprised that I instantly calmed down. It really did feel like something that was controlling my mind and emotions left. Pretty creepy I know. But there are demons that can control us in certain ways if we let them. The Bible says, "Don’t let the sun go down on your anger and don’t give the devil a foothold." Our anger can give Satan a foothold, or an advantage over us. So we need to be very careful when we are angry. Anger can open a window to Satan in our minds and hearts.

Resolve the situation calmly. Don’t just stuff your anger. Paul said "Don’t let the sun go down on your anger." As in, you need to address what you are angry about. Speak the truth in love. Don’t just not speak the truth. Tell the person who made you angry how you are feeling, but do it gently. Then, even if the person doesn’t say they are sorry, forgive them. Why? Because God commands us to and also because holding onto bitterness won’t help you one bit. They say several physical illnesses are caused simply from our own anger or bitterness. Headaches are a well known physical result of anger. Our emotions do affect our physical bodies, so if only for the sake of your own health, let go of your anger. Forgive whatever happened and move on. Amen.

Try to not get angry about the little things in life, like someone cutting you off on the road or mistakes you might make, like loosing your phone etc. That will only raise your blood pressure, raise your stress levels and cause you to not live as long. Always have grace with others and with yourself. Most people don’t realize how much stress can negatively affect them. A lot of stress we bring on ourselves. We cause our own stress. Like the saying goes, "It’s not about what happens to you that matters, but how you respond to it." We can control our own responses to things. If we determine in our minds that we will stay calm no matter what, then we can. Ask God for help to stay at peace and He will help you. Amen :)

Have boundaries. There is a book by Cloud and Townsend titled Boundaries that helped me a lot. Often times people get angry when they feel like a line has been crossed in some way. But if other people never know what those lines are, how can you really get angry about it right? So you need to express to people what your lines or boundaries are. If someone really pushes your buttons, or easily gets you angry, express that to those you know. Maybe you get really mad if someone is late or if things are messy. Present your desires to people. Let them know what areas you are more sensitive in or have more needs in. They may or may not comply with what you want. If they don’t, then accept it and move on. But at least you will know that you tried to express yourself and what you wanted. Often times anger comes when we don’t express ourselves. We may feel stuck or trapped for some reason. Communicating about things will help bring freedom in any area. Anger comes when we feel ignored or disrespected. So try to build more of a relationship through talking so you won’t feel ignored. Don’t expect people to read your mind or intuitively know what you need at all times; you have to tell them. Communication is always very key.

Stay Humble. Often anger comes from our own ego and pride. We don’t get our own way and so we get angry. But remember, it’s not all about you. :) There are other people on the planet that have wants and needs to. :) If what you want conflicts with what others want, sometime you will have to let them have what they want. Everyone is not here to meet your needs alone. They need to take care of themselves sometimes too. Sometimes anger is an ego trip. It’s when we think everyone should cater to our needs and do things our own way. Our pride makes us start to think that it’s our way or the highway. But you are not God. No one but God is God. :) You cannot run the universe and you are not perfect. These are all good things to remind ourselves of all the time. Paul says in Romans 12, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment." Often times anger comes when we have a high opinion of ourselves and the way we think things SHOULD be done. But no one of is perfect. None of us has a perfect way of doing things. We need to allow for differences in other people and different opinions on things. It is never we are right and everyone else is wrong. We need to admit that sometimes we might be wrong too. Amen. So always remember to stay humble and not think of yourself as being perfect or better than you are. If you are able to see that you too make mistakes all the time, then you will have more grace for other people, and you will then become angry less. Amen.

Remember that Jesus got angry, so anger in itself is not a sin. Jesus was angry many times and yet he was without sin. Getting angry is not the sin; how you handle your anger is what can become a sin. Gossiping about people is a passive aggressive way to act our your anger. It’s better to confront the person directly. When Jesus was angry at the Pharisees, he didn’t gossip about them with his disciples, he confronted them directly. Express your anger. Don’t explode, but don’t implode either. Don’t stuff it and hold it in, because that does just as much damage to a relationship as exploding on someone. Both limit the freedom in a relationship. If someone shuts down or gets overly angry with you, you won’t feel as free to talk with them and be with them. Be open about your anger, but always "speak the truth in love."

Try to keep the peace at all times. Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." Likewise the apostle Paul said, "As far as it depends on you, live at peace with all men." Paul also said, "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life." Those are some of my favorite verses. And another great verse is, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Amen :)


Tips


Choose your friends wisely. Some people will aggravate you more than others. If someone is overly hostile towards you, let the relationship go. Don’t stay friends with someone who is verbally abusive in any way. A normal reaction to any kind of abuse is anger. Sometimes the only way to keep peace is to cut off a relationship.

Listen to Joel Osteen on YouTube. He has got to be the most peaceful person alive. If anyone can teach you about how to keep peace with all people, Joel Osteen would be the person. He has a lot of great wisdom to share on how to get along with other people. His sermons are great! :)
Listen to worship music as much as possible. Hillsong is a great worship band from Australia. It is very true that worship music makes demons flee. They are drawn to evil things and are repelled by holy things, like praising God. So keep some good Christian music on in your home or car as much as is possible to literally ward off evil spirits. Amen.

Try to listen to as little angry music as possible. Certain kinds of music can stir up negative emotions more than others. Try to watch as little violence on TV or in movies that you can. The Bible says, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things." Amen.

Remember to laugh at yourself. Laugh at things in life, like your pets or funny things your children do etc. Laughter is very good for your health.


Warnings


Avoid needless debates with people. When it comes to witnessing, some people just want to argue. Avoid arguments over religions that will lead to nowhere. When it comes to other Christians, some like to debate issues about the Bible that no one can know for sure what the answer is. Gods ways are higher than our ways. We cannot fully understand God. Don’t argue with your fellow Christians about things that only God can fully understand. Some things we are simply not meant to fully understand.

Avoid drinking too much caffeine or eating too much sugar. A sugar high or too much coffee etc. can make you become more angry or agitated than you normally would be. Always eat a lot of protein. Low blood sugar, caused by eating to many simple carbs, can make you more irritable as well.

How to Have Christian Self-Control

Every Christian has the ability to be self-controlled. One of the fruits of God's Holy Spirit is self-control. The key is to realize and live out what is already inside of you, through God's Spirit.



Steps


First realize that with everything you have a choice. Romans 8 tell us that we can either chose to walk in God's Holy Spirit or in our flesh. Paul says, "If by the spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live." So the choice is ours. God will not force us to be good, we have to choose to be good. Before we were saved, we did not have a choice in a sense, because we were slaves to sin. But now that Jesus has set us free "He who the son sets free is free indeed." Amen. Now we are completely free to chose to do good or to do bad. We are not victims to our own sin or our own flesh anymore. We have the power of God's spirit in us to choose the right thing. We have ability to have self-control now. The only question is will we or will we not.

Once you have deliberately chosen that you want to do the right thing, do it. Don't hesitate and think, "Oh tomorrow I will do the right thing." Don't put off changing the things you need to change. Don't believe lies that Satan might try to tell you like "It's too late for you to change." That's not true. It's never to late to start making the right choices.
Instead of always thinking about what you should not be doing, think about what you should be doing. For example, if you just keep thinking "I shouldn't eat ice cream" all you will think about is ice cream. :) Instead, think about all the amazing salads you can make etc. Also, the best way to control your thoughts is to think on good things, rather than trying to not think about bad things. Paul said, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." This is him telling us what we should be thinking about. This isn't a punishment; this is a get to. You will have a lot more peace and joy in general if you think on only things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. Amen? Amen.

Sometimes if we are trying to quit a bad habit, it can be too hard to do an all or nothing thing. If you used to eat three bowls of ice cream every day, for example, try to cut it down to just eating a small cup of ice cream each day. Don't cut out ice cream all together, or you will resent this whole self-control thing you are trying to do. :) Everything in moderation. Paul said we are not to be mastered by anything, so as long as the thing you is not mastering you, you can still enjoy it. :)

Lastly, always be positive. You won't see change in your life, or the ability to have self-control, unless you are positive and believe that you can. Believe that God can help you to have self-control. You have to have hope. Without hope, how can you believe that things can be better? Have faith that you can overcome whatever struggle or addiction you are trying to overcome. There is a great quote that says, "He who believes he can and he who believes he can't are both right." As in, whatever you believe will happen most likely will happen. Our thoughts become our actions, so think about what you are thinking about more often. If you want to become more healthy, believe that you really can become more healthy, with God's help. Jesus talked about moving mountains if we had enough faith. The mountains he was talking about are our problems. Whatever we struggle with, if we really have faith that it can be better, it will. "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed" you can move mountains. Believe it. Amen :)

How to Have Christian Contentment

There is a great verse that says "Godliness with contentment is great gain." Why is it great gain? Because unless you can learn to be content, you will never have peace in life. Paul said in the New Testament that he LEARNED to be content in any and every situation, meaning it did not come naturally to him. Here are some tips on how to learn to be content.



Steps
Write an "I am Thankful for...." list every day. You can try to keep what I call a "Thankful Journal" of all the things you see God doing in your life. This will force you to focus on the positive rather than the negative. There is something about writing things out that God has blessed us with cements them in our minds more and makes us really see them better.
Watch less TV and movies. Commercials are the wrost for breeding contentment in us. We keep seeing things we don't have and the commercials tell us we should have them. But that is just their opinion. Just because someone selling you something says that you need it DOES NOT mean that you do. Less is more. As in, the less you can have and be happy with it, the more content you will be. :) In regards to movies, the more you watch, the more you may to want to look like the people you see in the movies. Disregard that. You are who you are and you cannot be anyone else. Accept who you are and stop trying to live up to the perfect images of Hollywood. God says that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" just the way you are. Amen.

Remember to not love the world or anything in the world. John says that if anyone loves the world, the love of the father, or God, is not in them. The world wants you to have stuff or to look a certain way etc. Just ignore it all. That is not God's way. God's way to look beautiful is to have a good heart. God's way regarding stuff is to be willing to give all that you have away, not want to always get more.

Try fasting. Some think fasting is old school, but it can really help you to appreciate what you have more. You don't really, truly appreciate food until you force yourself to not eat for 24 hours. :) You can make it any amount of time that you want, but try it. It will change your life and how see you things in a huge way. :)

Learn to say no to yourself. Often times, we spoil ourselves way too much. Whatever we want, we give into that desire right away. Try delayed gratification. Try not always giving yourself what you want right away. Because the more you give in to your desires, the more insatiable your desires will become. If you feed the monster of desire, over anything, it will only grow bigger. You have to starve the monster of want and it will get smaller. Be a master over things you want, don't let things you want master you. :(


Tips
Try shopping as little as possible. The more you go to stores, the more you want things that you don't need. Always make a shopping list and stick to it. Don't do impulse buys. Practice self-control when buying things etc.
If you know you struggle with eating junk food, stop buying junk food. It's as simple as that. Determine that you will be content with eating more healthy foods and you will be. )

Stop trying to please people or doing what they think you should do. That will only make you more discontent with yourself. Ignore all the critics and do what you feel God would want you to do. Only God's opinion is what matters in the end.

Regarding wikiHow Critics :)

Here are some tips on how to not be overly critical of other people's articles here on wikiHow. :)




Steps


First of all, write your own articles, rather than judge everyone else's. Often times people don't want to do anything creative themselves and would rather critique everyone else who tries to be creative. But don't be a bully; stop picking on people. Make something creative yourself and then you won't have time to criticize others.

Be constructive rather than destructive. People generally use their energy in one of two ways, they either try to make the world a better place and do creative things to help people, or they do destructive things, either to themselves or others. For example, any super hero movie has a hero and villian. The hero creatively invents ways to become stronger and save people. The hero is constructive. He is always building new gadgets to enable him to do more good. But the villian, on the other hand, only constantly thinks up ways of how to cause destruction and chaos to anyone and everyone. Most people, if they really think about it, want to be the hero, not the villian. So be a hero here on wikiHow and create ways to save and help people rather than ways to try to delete and destroy articles that other people write. :)

Don't be a hater. For whatever reason, whenever people try to accomplish great things, there are always haters. People that are jealous of any accomplishment that anyone else makes. But the only reason people are haters, or get jealous of others so easily is because of their own insecurities. They may feel that they can't be as good as someone else, so they try to tear that other person down. Misery loves company and grumpy, critical people want everyone else to be grumpy and critical too. So don't be a hater. Don't be grumpy and critical. Instead, try to be the best you can be and try to lift yourself higher rather than tear other people down. Amen. :)

Lastly, find Jesus. Whether or not Christianity is true, which I think it is, it makes people a lot nicer that believe in it. Any person without Christ has an overwhelming amount of pride aka. sin. Pride is at the root of all sin, because it is pride that makes us unwilling to submit to God. Before we are saved, we are slaves to sin. The Bible teaches that God sets us free from the chains of sin, essentially. We are then free to love others as God loves us, and we are then free to submit to God's laws/guidance for our lives, which will lead us to a much better life, always better. It is almost impossible to genuinely love people without being regerated by God's Holy Spirit. God gives us a new, soft heart and enables us to really care about others. So if you find yourself being easily critical of other people and their writing etc., you may need a new heart from Jesus. :) It's as simple as saying aloud, "Jesus please give me a new heart. I need you." Very easy. I hope at least some of you reading this will make that decision today. Amen. :) May God bless you!

How to Spot a False Teacher

There are many false Christian teachers out there, wolves in sheep's skin. They are good at appearing as though they are Christian, but they are really not. Benny Hinn is a classic example. He is good at talking the talk, but he doesn't walk the walk. Always ask yourself what their fruit looks like. Here are more tips on how to spot a false Christian teacher.



Steps


See if they mention money a lot. Do they ask you to sow a seed for your miralce or healing? That signals that they are a false teacher. Jesus said that a person cannot love "both God and money, for you will love one and hate the other." If a teacher seems to really want your money, he does not love God. He loves money.
Know if they are controlling. Often times false teachers will say threats to anyone who might try to come against them. They are very A type and like to have control of everything. In churches, they like to have way too much control over the people in their church and everything that they do.
3. Analyze their character traits. Are they loving? Do they have peace? Do they have self-control?
Regarding Benny Hinn, search google images Benny Hinn affair. He had an affair with Paula White when he was still married. He may preach some good sermons, but his life screams that he is just a poser. He is not really saved. He is just a good actor. If their life doesn't line up with what they preach, they are a false teacher.
4. See if their lifestyle is extravagant. Do they spend a lot of money on a lot of things? Do they seem to not be easily content? Those are all things to look for in regards to their character. Jesus said, "You shall know them (other Christians) by their fruit." What does their fruit look like. We need to be good fruit inspectors as Christians, so that we can tell if others are really saved or not. It doesn't matter what someone says; what do they do?

　



Tips


Always remember, just because someone says that they are Christian does not mean that they are. Just because someone says that they love Jesus does not mean that they really do. Don't be fooled by false teachers.

How to Have Faith in Your Child

Often times, parents are too quick to point out what their child is doing wrong. Too many parents are overly critical of their kids. All this does is kill the child's self-esteem. It leads them to perform worse in school, in sports, in relationships etc. Everyone needs confidence to be able to succeed in life. Here are some tips on how to help your child to be more confident by having faith in them.


Steps

Always believe the best about your child. This goes for any relationship in life; we should always believe the best about people rather than expect the worst. Have hope that your child will succeed. Always be positive in regards to your child.
Know that you create your own self fulfilling prophesies about your kid. Whatever you believe about your child, they WILL become. If you believe that your child is a little angel, then they will probably most of the time be a little angle. If you believe they are a little spawn from hell....well....their behavior won't be as good. :(

Speak life into your child. The Bible says "life and death are in the power of the tongue." We can either bring death to our life, or life. :) The way to speak life into your child is to encourage them. To encourage means to give people courage. Tell them that they can do anything they set their mind to. Tell them they are special. Tell them they are talented. Believe that they can be all that they were meant to be, and they will be. :)

Don't be overly critical of everything they do. Have patience with them. Remember that they are small, and they are not capable of nearly as much as you are. If you are too harsh with them, they will only hate you. Maybe they won't when they are little, but watch out for the teenage years. We reap what we sow, and if you sow criticism and anger, you will reap criticism and anger.

Show interest in their life. Show interest in what they are doing, in their hobbies, in their friends. You may be able to keep them out of a lot of trouble if you would just communicate with them about their life more often. They won't care what you know, until they know that you care. So show that you care, and then they will be more open to you giving them advice. :)

Remember that any kindness you show to your child now, will be given back to you when you are older. Often times parents who just throw their kids in child care, later in life, get thrown in an old folks home by those kids. However you want them to treat you when you are old, treat them that way now when they are young.

Disregard any negative report from others about your child. Don't let people gossip to you about them. Always stick up for your child. Their teachers may have critical things to say about them. Ignore them. The doctor might. Ignore it. Don't listen to anyone that might say they have ADD or ADHD. Those labels really just mean that a child is not encouraged enough to learn. You as the parent need to make them interested in learning. It is your job as the parent to mold them into a model and respectable citizen of society. Don't medicate them to fix a problem that you could fix just by being there for them more.

Go to their sports games. Cheer them on. Encourage them in every extra curricular activity that they do. Don't neglect them. Don't ignore them. If they mess up, tell them they will do better next time. Focus on the positives, what they did right in a game or on an essay etc. rather than pointing out all the things they need to improve on.
Thank God everyday for the beautiful child that you have. Realize that there are many couples who are unable to have kids due to infertility issues. Thank God for the things that they are good at and for how healthy they are. Have faith that they have a bright future and that God has amazing plans ahead for them! Amen. :)

Ask relatives and friends to encourage your child as much as possible. Get relatives to come to their games also or concerts etc. Ask them to tell your child what a good job they did etc.


Tips
Remember that no matter how angry you get with your child, don't flip out on them. It will only cause them to not respect you and not trust you. It can also traumatize them and scar them for life. They might grow up fearing anger more than they should and so might have a hard time expressing anger in a healthy, balanced way.
Play board games with your kids. This is a great way to bond as a family.

Tell them every day, "God has something for you to do that nobody else can do."

Encourage them to have dreams for their life and help them to believe in those dreams.

Hug them often and smile at them. Don't come off as an old grumpy person.

Try to be consistent with them so they know what to expect.

Spank your child, but in moderation. Only do it in extreme circumstances.


Warnings
Here are some general warnings about raising kids:
Don't be too gullible when it comes to your children or think that they are perfectly fine. They might be doing a lot more than you realize. Like getting into trouble.

Monitor their computers and put blocks on certain websites. You can buy software to do this.

Be careful of whose houses you let them go to and make sure the parents are good.

This is somewhat comical, but put an alarm on their window so they can't sneak out at night.

Take your kids on a tour of your local federal prison and ask the guys to tell them stories of what not to do and how hard their life is.

Help them learn early on that there are consequences for their actions.

Don't force them to go to church, because when they are older, they will never want to go. They will just resent having to do something they don't want to do.

Encourage them to eat healthy so that they will live long and prosper. :)

How to be a New Mom

　

Parenting can be very challenging. Here are some tips on how to make it a bit easier.



Steps



Always, always, always stay positive. Believe that you can be a good mom, and you will. Believe that your baby is going to be a good baby, and they will. :)

Don't freak out if you make a mistake or accidentally bump your babies head, and don't let your spouse freak out either. Everything will be ok. Try to worry less and have faith.

In regards to feeding with a bottle, it's OK to prop the bottle up on a blanket, so you have your hands free and get some chores done. The baby will not choke. He/she will be perfectly fine. Sometimes this can be a nice break to get things done.

Remember to use diaper rash cream often. Sometimes babies resist diaper changing time or are extra fussy because they have a rash.

When switching to milk from formula, make sure you mix the formula with milk and slowly wean your baby off of the formula. If you don't do this, they will be very constipated and unhappy. Constipation happens with an abrupt change in diet, so make transitions in food slow and easy.

Make sure you are living by either your mom or your mother in law. Make it happen somehow. You will NEED their help. You have to have breaks, even if it's just going to Target by yourself, baby free, once a week. Try to get them to babysit once a week so you can relax and remember the peace of life before you had all this responsibility.

Make sure you still do things with your spouse and don't let the baby consume all your time. It's easy for a spouse to get jealous of a new baby, but if you still do things together, that will help.

If you used to go to church every Sunday, don't stress yourself out too much if you can't make it to Sunday church anymore. You can always watch online church services, or go to a mid week Bible study when your mom or mother in law are watching the baby. Don't be legalistic and force yourself to go out when you know the baby might have a very hard time in the nursery. Have grace with yourself.

Lastly, remember to have fun and enjoy your new baby. Don't just take care of him or her. Play with them, laugh with them, makes faces and noises at them etc. Take lots of pictures. Dress them up in tons of cute outfits. Learn to enjoy this time because it goes by super, super fast. And congrats on being a new mom!


Warnings


On a side note, baby vaccinations can lead to fevers and possibly ear infections. Just do some research about them and be careful with them. They are hard for babies to go through.

On the Road Again

I am so excited!  My husband and I were talking this evening about our plans for the future.  He is currently working in the oil field driving a truck.  There is a huge oil boom here in West Texas at the moment, but it could end any month now.  The price of oil is dropping so it might not last much longer, who knows.  But our plan is that when it does end, we will be able to buy a truck for cheaper than we normally would because every company will be selling most of their trucks.  Then we will go over the road as a family!  How fun! :)

I figure by then we might have a second child, so that could be a bit challenging having us all in the extended cab of a truck, but it's doable.  It will have a sleeper, so like a bed and you can have a little fridge back there and everything.  He would just drive 12 hour shifts and then we could stay at nice hotels and go swimming and sit in hot tubs.  The more I think about it, the more excited I get! :)

We currently have two cars so we would give them, or loan them, to my mom for the time that we are on the road. :) We would probably only do this for a year and then we would be able to save up a lot for a house.  People make a lot more driving over the road when they own their own truck. 

One of my dreams has always been to see the Eastern part of the U.S.  I have never been east of Chicago really.  Well I was in Miami for a bit but that's it.  So I can't wait to drive up the east coast and see New York and see the south and the Appalachian Mountains.  I love road tripping and I love seeing new things every day!  I think it will be tons of fun and I'm so excited!  Many family adventures are on the horizon, praise God!

On Wiki How

Check out my new user profile on Wiki How! :)
http://www.wikihow.com/User:Angel22oc