Complaints and Praises

Here's all the things I could complain about.  I'm basically an orphan and a widow now.  My dad is in prison serving a 10 year sentence for being a child molester.  Good job to my mom for picking him right?  Yes I have been angry at her about that almost my entire life.  That's why I didn't have kids till I was 28, because I wanted to be sure I picked a good guy.  But then the guy I picked went crazy.  My mom now seems to have disowned me and blames me for my ex husband becoming a paranoid delusional schizophrenia.  I don't know why.  It wasn't my fault at all.  My older brother blames me for it too.  They both seem to hate me now.  So in the last 6 months I lost my husband, my mom, my brother And my two daughters.  I lovingly gave my two daughters, for now, to my ex husband and his parents really just to keep him from commiting suicide, which I thought he was close to.  Now I'm in our house still that might foreclose soon and I might be evicted any day. 

But hey I have one bright rainbow in my life.  I'm 35 but somehow I get to have a hot 22 year old boyfriend.  So that's really nice. :) He is my sunshine currently.  I love you Josh! :)

 I had a 40 year old boyfriend who had a new house all set up that I could have moved into, but I realized I was tired of having to deal with guys' crazy exes.  My ex husband had a crazy ex, which is really why he went crazy when married to me.  She had cheated on him the entire second year of their marriage 15 years ago, but he had no idea she was.  So then over the last year of our marriage he kept suspecting that I would end up being just like her.  He constantly said I was cheating on him with a  cop etc.  No matter how much I said I wasn't he refused to believe me.  There really was nothing I could do to convince him that I wasn't like her.  Finally after 6 months of him constantly accusing me of cheating on him, when I WASN'T, I finally said "I give up. I don't know how to help you."  His ex wife made it almost impossible for him to trust people.  It's a miracle I guess that he trusted me for our first 6 years of marriage. But I can't imagine going through that, finding out after a year that your spouse had been cheating on you that whole time.

 The guy I was with before my ex husband had had a crazy ex wife too.  I'm quite sure she was actually possessed for most of their marriage, from what he told me about her.

And my previous 40 year old boyfriend had two crazy ex wives who made his life hell in many ways.

So it only seems logical I would want a guy who finally had no exes.  I met Josh 5 months after my ex husband moved out and swore he would never come home.  He thinks dozens of people are trying to kill him here in Austin for some reason, so he refuses to come back here.  I have no idea why he thinks that.  I have never felt unsafe here at all.

But praise God for Josh!  I think he and I will be very happy together for the rest of our lives. He is a miracle and an angel sent to me from God, I'm quite sure.  I was his first kiss and first everything.  Very romantic I think. :) And I plan on sticking with my hot 22 year old boyfriend until I die.  What 35 year old gets to have a hot and smart 22 year old to be with?  Not many.  So for that I feel that I am very lucky and very blessed, and I will cherish him always. :)  He is the one thing I have to be grateful for right now.  And that I am still somehow able to live in my house. I am very grateful for that as well.

So I praise you God for Josh and for what a great friend and boyfriend he is.  And I pray we will really stay together for the next 50 years I might have left of life.  I always wanted to be married to someone for 50 years.  My grandparents stayed together 65 years.  They hated each other half the time, but hey at least they stayed together. lol :)

My first serious relationship fiancé died, due to drinking while being on too many meds.  My ex husband went schizophrenic on me.  But hey the third time is a charm right?  Hopefully that will be true in my life.  :)

Please pray for me and Josh, that we will be happy together always and that nothing will be able to break us up.  We love each other very, very much.  And that is awesome. :) I have never loved a guy as much as I love him.  He is the most handsome guy I have ever seen, hands down.  And he is the smartest guy I have ever talked to.  His dad is a lawyer so that makes sense. :)

I am blown away sometimes that I get to be with him.  Every time I look at him I'm in awe of how beautiful God made him.  He is perfect!  But hey, God blesses his children and he certainly blessed me with bringing me Josh.  So thank you God for Josh. :)

I pray you all can have an angel sent into your life when you most need one as well.  Just keep serving God as best as you can and he Will reward you.  Stay in faith through the hard times. Keep believing God can always work all things for your good, and He Will. ;)

May God bless you all!  And thank you for praying for me, if you are.  I really appreciate it. ;)