Invest in People More then Money

God is always a way maker, miracle worker and a light in the darkness.  When your life is dark, look to God, and the light will shine again in your life.  Amen praise God! :)

Never give up hope.  There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.  I am very excited about a baby I might start babysitting soon.  That will be fun. :) Pray for me that it will work out.  Thanks all! And there is another family I might do nany work for soon.  God is good.

Just because one job doesn't work out, another one will.  Never give up.  Just because one relationship doesn't work, another one will.  There are plenty of fish in the sea.  God put many people on the earth so we will always have options, but if you get a great person to be with, hold on to them, treat them great and never give them up.

I praise God for my wonderful fiance who I love very, very much.  God can always send angels in your life when you need them most.  My fiancé has been a huge angel in my life recently. Just ask God for an angel and he will send you one.  "You have not because you ask not."  God will always make a way for you if you just stay in faith.

Thank you God for making a way for me to work and still see my love.  Thank you for always giving me purpose to my life.  I praise you for all the opportunities I have had in my life.  Thank you for all the open doors you have given me God!

Just because a door closes that doesn't mean it's the end for you.  God is Not done with you.  God is never done with you. There is always something for you to do and people to help and serve.  God always has work for you to do if you want it.  So many people now struggle with depression.  I think that's because they think their life is over just because one door closed for them.  They stay stuck in their past and always look at what failed.  But just because you don't succeed in one thing, dust yourself off, get back up and try again with something different.

I was pretty discouraged for awhile that a teaching job didn't work out for me.  But I just have to have peace that that isn't what God has for me at this time in my life.  We have plans for our life, but God might have different plans for your life.  Don't be so stubborn in trying to make your plans work.  Be open to whatever God wants you to do or wherever he wants you to go.

When it comes to work, don't sacrifice time with those you love just to make more money.  God will always provide for you.  Just trust him.  Often times people work because they actually want to hide from their families. I have seen this many times, mainly with women. They want to escape their home life and their families because they are scared.  It's easier to have co-workers who are more shallow friends then deep personal connections with your spouse or kids, so they run away to that.  Don't be one of those people.  Don't run away from your family for work.  In the end, time with those you love is all that matters, not how much money you made.  Money almost always flies away just like that, but people can stay in your life forever.  Invest in people more then you do in making tons of money.  You might feel like money will be there for you when you need it, but it won't be as much as the people you care about and who care about you will be.  Invest in people more then you invest in money. And you will have a much happier life.  :)

May God bless you all!

More Prayers

God please open a door for me with some great nanny jobs.  I pray that whatever works out that I'll be happy with it.  And I pray when the time comes for me and Josh to need an apartment or a rent house that we will get the best possible one for us. Thank you Lord. :)

God why did my mom have to marry two child molestors in a row? Why did you give me the mom that you did and the dad and step dad that you did? Why is it that my first dad had to ruin my child hood and the second dad had to ruin my adult hood?  But it's not totally ruined is it? I know it's not.  I have never been happier in my life as I am now with Josh, so thank you for him God.  He is wonderful. I couldn't have gotten a better man then him. I love him very, very, very much!

I'm sorry God that I wan't the best parent that I could have been to my girls.  I'm sorry I didn't hug my girls more when I had them with me.  I'm sorry I had them watch so much stupid TV. So much time was wasted watching dumb shows.  I'm sorry I followed in the path of how my mom was with me and neglected them as much as I did. I should have tried talking to them more.  I'm sorry I wasn't more attentive to them and also to my ex husband.  Help me to do better with the man I have now.  Help me to do better with any future kids you let me watch over.  I pray that you will send new kids in my life so I won't miss my daughters as much.  I promise to do better with the next groups of kids you let me watch over.

Help me to be wiser and less selfish God. I have been so selfish for so long.  I have always been wanting to buy to much stuff.  My focus has been on stuff rather then people for too long.  I was always thinking about what I wanted rather then what others wanted. Help me to take the focus off myself and serve and love others more. Help me to be more selfless God. I want to be used by you.  Help me to be used well by you.  I'm sorry for not being selfless in the past.  I'm sorry for complaining about great gifts that you gave me, like my awesome house.  I'm sorry I wasn't more greatful for it.  Forgive me for my ingratitude. I am very greatful for everything in my life now.  Thank you for blessing me so much God. :) I am thankful. :)

And God, if you could open a door for me to see my daughters again soon, I would appreciate it. :) Thank you.

My Prayer

God I miss my daughters.  I miss them a lot.  And I miss Josh when he goes to work.  I wish I could be with him 24/7.  I wish I could hug my daughters again.  It has been so long.  I wish Bryan would find a lady and that Ben could find a lady so they won't be lonely anymore.  I want to live with my brother so I can always have him and Meka to talk to.  I miss getting to hang out with my brother Nate. I want to work with Meka and get a real career job. I'm tired of having simple jobs.  I want a real job.  I want to go to church with them.  I pray that me and Josh can have more friends someday but thank you God that we have each other. Thank you that we are both the perfect friend for each other.

I need you today and always.  Help me to not smoke God.  Help me to stay healthy. Help me to take good care of my body and mind. Thank you for a sound mind today God. Help me to not be afraid.  I keep dreading getting a notice to vacate on my door. But now I have the hope of an awesome apartment in Belton for Josh and I to move into.  I love that it's by another great river path that we can ride our bikes on.  It's a bit cold for that now though lol.  So I'm ok with waiting on getting that apartment for a couple months.  I pray we can stay here in this house through the winter.

Please sustain Josh at work.  Help him to enjoy his job a lot, but I pray that his hours will be short. Thank you for him and for all the fun we have together.  Thank you for our 4 days off together and all the hiking and bike riding fun we had.  Please give me wisdom God on when you want me to work again and where.  I would really like to work at Mary Hardin Baylor doing something.  I pray you will open a door there when the timing is right God.  I pray for favor and direction.  Please lead me to the best job there for me.   Thank you for that.

I pray that the divorce with Ben will run smoothly.  It makes me sad but it's probably necessary.  It stressed me out a lot to be with guys who seemed close to dying with so many health issues, Ben and then Bryan.  But I pray that you will help them to endure their health issues with wisdom and a good attitude.  It was hard for me to not get angry at them for their health issues because Ben's were from 20 years of smoking and Bryan's were from eating horrible junk food his whole life.  But God please help them both to be strong enough to be good and wise dads for their kids.

And God thank you for sending me a healthy young stallion in Josh. :)  He is great!  I have never ever been so in love with anyone in my life. I cherish him SO much and I appreciate him so much.  I love that we both care about eating healthy and taking good care of our bodies.  I love his wisdom and intelligence. I am enamored and enthralled by him 24/7.  I am greatly attracted to him mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  Thank you God for how awesome he is. And for how well we mesh together.  I could not have asked for more then him.  He is perfect.  I love love the color of his skin, how he naturally looks tan.  I love his kind eyes and his soft hair.  I love his smile and his cute dimples.  I love his voice and how manly it is.  He is the hottest man I have ever seen or been around. Thank you God for how wonderful he is!  He is by far your best present to me ever! :) And I believe he is an angel you sent to me to be my best lover and friend ever. :)

Help me to have your peace today God.  Help me to just rest in you God.  Thank you for all your gifts to me.  All the ways you have blessed me throughout my life.  God you're so good to me! I have been the most blessed person I have ever known, generally.  Thank you for blessing me as much as you have God!  But help me to heal from my wounds and losses.  Thank you God that your grace is sufficient to get me through every doorway of my life.  Help me to have your joy in the midst of sad situations.  Thank you God that you Will work all this for good in the end.  I praise you God. :) Thank you for everything.  :)

I am blessed.  I am called. I am healed.  I am whole.  I am anointed and filled with your power.  Thank you God! :)

Jealousy

My whole life I have had people try to cut me down due to jealousy.  When people have things that are better then you, don't hate them for it, try to be happy for them.  If I see someone with a better car then me, I realize it's completely useless to be jealous and hate them for it.  Where will that get me?  Nowhere.  If I want to work two jobs to get that car, then I can, but if I choose not to, then that's my choice.

I feel like people have tried to cut me down my whole life due to jealousy.  That has caused me to hold back in a lot of situations.  I performed less then I could have simply because I didn't want others to be jealous of me.  Jealousy can be a killer.  In the Bible, Cain killed Able due to jealousy.  Watch out for those who are extremely jealous of you, but pray for them, that God will bless them just as much as he has blessed you.

If we do the things that deserve blessings, we will be blessed.  But if we don't, then we won't. It's that simple really.  Rather then being jealous of those around you who are being blessed, live your life in such a way that you too will be blessed.  If you do what is right, God WILL bless you.  If you are nice and honest to people, you will be blessed.  If you aren't, then you won't be.  We reap what we sow.  When we sow kindness, we reap kindness.  When we sow working hard for others, then others will work hard for us.  When we sow good things, we reap good things.  So many people only sow bad things and then only reap bad things. Then they are jealous of all those around them who are reaping good things.  Well, sow good things if you want to reap good things.  It's simple.

If you are jealous of someone, don't waste your life hating them. Do what they did so you can be blessed to.

May God bless you all. :)

I Will Not Fear :)

Here are the best thoughts from a Joyce Meyer sermon titled "I Will Not Fear."


The only response any Christian should have to fear is, "I Will Not Fear." Amen :)

Fear is actually us putting faith in what Satan says to us. Yep.

"You did not receive a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind."

Just because worry comes for a visit that doesn't mean you should invite it in to stay all day. Amen!

With fear you have the Option to let it rule you or you can rule over it.

We need to get just as determined to have good things as the devil is determined to give us bad things.

You have to make the decision "I Will Not Fear."

When you feel fear, don't run.

Satan will do to you whatever you will put up with. Yep!

Be determined to say "Jesus died for me to have a good life and I'm going to have a good life." Amen!

Are you sure that God is for you? He is for you not because you are good, but because He is Good.  Amen. :)

You can feel fear but don't give in to it.

When you fully know how Much God loves you, you will have a lot Less fear. :)

We strive to do good Because God loves us, not to get him to love us. :)

How much fear do you allow to be in your life? Whatever fear is there is because you are lacking in knowledge about the love of God.

You having a problem does not mean that God doesn't love you. He wants to help you always in your time of trouble. But he also would tell us we don't need to worry about our problems as much as we do.  We need to only have faith. :)

Job said, "The thing that I feared has come upon me."  But we don't need to be afraid of anything.  God will take care of you no matter what. Amen!

Fear

"Do one thing every day that scares you." That is a line from one of my favorite songs which is a speech called "Wear Sunscreen." :)

Sometimes fear can be fun.  It makes us feel more alive, that's for sure.  I am currently living in almost constant fear or apprehension of when my house will foreclose and I will be evicted. The back story to that is my ex husband hasn't worked for the past 8 months because he became schizophrenic.  I blame it on all the drugs he did in high school, which was tons.  My mom was paying my mortgage payment for about 4 months but she got tired of paying it. Then I started working but it wasn't enough to make up for what was past due on my house. :( If I could take up an offering for myself somewhere I would lol.  But I know most of America is broke now.  Most people are living paycheck to paycheck and none of us have much extra, it seems. But I'll be ok.  I trust that God will work things out for me.  He has so far, for sure.  This experience certainly has stretched my faith a ton. Somehow I have been able to live in my house 5 months after missing a payment.  Thanks be to God. :)

My impending foreclosure caused me to pick up smoking about 3 months ago, because I was so stressed about it.  I quit a week ago though, praise God. :) Now I've realized it's not like smoking is going to change the time of my foreclosure.  But now I think my fiancé and I have a good apartment picked out to move into soon so praise God. :)  It's in a really fun area so that would be great. I think I would go back to waitressing work which I have missed a lot.

In thinking about fear a lot this past 5 months, I realized, I think some people love fear.  That's why people love watching horror movies.  I have always hated the feeling of fear, but I suppose at times it can be good.  It certainly causes you to pray more when you are afraid.  Think about it.  God lets us go through fearful situations a lot.  He must do that to keep us praying. :)

But fear can be bad when we let a spirit of fear take a hold of us and our minds.  You can feel fear for a moment without being overcome by fear.  You can still keep moving forward in life, even though you are afraid.  Don't let fear make your whole life stop.  Don't crawl into a hole and want to hide forever because you are So afraid.  That's what my ex husband did, but I have kept pressing on.  I have kept living life.  I rented out rooms in my house to 6 different people the past 5 months and that was tons of fun.  I learned two new jobs and had a lot of fun with that.  Learn to keep living life in spite of your fears and always, always trust God, no matter what is happening in your life. Always remember that he has your back and he WILL work all things together for your good. Amen. :)

Maybe God had me go through this foreclosure situation so I would understand fear more, and have more authority to write on this subject.  If you are afraid of something in your life, I know how you feel.  It's almost like I'm dying of cancer, but it's not me dying, but my house dying. :(  My poor house. But I have hope now that I will move on to bigger and better places.  Maybe God is just saying I'm done with reaching people in this town and it's time to move on. New places and new scenery is always fun.

In Acts, when the disciples were persecuted they spread out all over the world and witnessed in more places.  So their hardship brought God glory because even more people got to hear the gospel.  Sometimes God lets us go through hard times to bring him glory, and to set us down a path where we can bring more people into the light of God's glorious and marvelous and wonderful grace.  Our life is not about us, it's about God.  Amen? Amen. :)

May God bless you all!  And remember to stay strong and not let fear overwhelm you.  Stay in faith, no matter what, that God loves you and will protect you and keep you safe.

And never forget, God loves you! :)

Freedom to Not Sin

"True freedom consists not in the freedom to sin, but in the freedom not to sin." -Billy Graham
For some reason, people in the world think that true freedom is getting to do whatever they want to do.  But that is not true freedom.  You might enjoy your freedom for a time of "getting to" drink and smoke etc., but then you might realize that such things have enslaved you and you feel you need them.  You are then no longer free but a slave.  So the thing we ran to when we felt free is now enslaving us.  But "he who the son sets free is free indeed." Amen! Praise God. :)  If you believe you are free, you can be.  You only need to change your perspective on what freedom is.  God does not want us to feel free To sin, but rather to see there is more freedom in Not sinning.  Amen.

It seems to be a common error that people tend toward either legalism or liscence.  You have some Christians who say you can't do anything "fun" and then you have the opposite extreme where some say you can do anything you want to and God will still love you and forgive you no matter what.  I personally think that salvation can be lost due to various verses such as, "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling."  I think this belief keeps me from that mentality though, that I can do anything I want to and God will still love me and save me no matter what.  I don't believe that I am saved no matter what.  Jesus said if we don't forgive others, God will not forgive us.  That is a pretty hard statement.  He also said that we will be judged according to every idle word we speak.  But I'm not going to go to the other extreme and become overly legalistic.  I think that's why people have a fear of believing salvation can be lost because then they think they would turn into a Pharisee regarding their own sin and everyone else's.  I think God gives us mercy and he understands we won't be perfect, even after we are saved.

Have you noticed that people often point the finger at those who commit sins that are different from their own? But we all commit some sins every day. None of us are perfect.  

I think everyone struggles with one of the 7 deadly sins. Some think they struggle with nothing but then their struggle is pride.  Some are obssessed with their physical appearance and so struggle with vanity.  Some can't control their temper and say hurtful things to others and so struggle with anger.  Some can't motivate themselves to get anything done and sleep to much and maybe drink to much, sloth.  Some look at porn or think about sex excessively and so struggle with lust.  Some only think about money, how to make more and what to spend the money on that they have, and so struggle with greed.  And some are always thinking about what next thing they will eat and so struggle with gluttony.  We all struggle with something.  None of us are perfect.  We all fall short of the glory of God.  Remember, before you judge another, look in the mirror at your own sins and struggles.  Take the log out of your own eye before trying to take a speck out of someone else's eye.

People will love you more if you stay humble and judge others less.  Judging comes from pride, in thinking that we are more perfect then the person we are judging.  But no one is perfect, and any good thing we do we only can do because God enables us to be good, so we have no reason to feel prideful about it. :)

Stay humble and you will be more blessed because "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."  God loves you all! :)

Have Faith

Matthew 21:22 "Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

When I think about faith I often think of the movie "The Matrix." When Morpheus is trying to help Neo jump across rooftops, he tells him "free your mind." In order to activate our faith we have to clear our mind of all the reasons why things might not work.  That will only hold you back.  "All things are possible to those who believe," Jesus said.  If you don't believe ALL things are possible then they aren't. "According to your faith it will be done to you," Jesus said.  If you believe you can do anything and be anything, with God, then you can.  If you believe anything can happen for you, then it can. There are probably things happening in your life right now that you never thought would happen.  That helps to increase our faith a ton for sure.  Look back at all that God has done in your life already and that will give you more faith for your future.  When I was only 14 I got to go on an awesome missions trip to India.  How many 14 year olds get to do that?  Not many get to go to India in a whole life time.  Now, in my current life, I have the hottest boyfriend ever and I can't believe how much God has blessed me with getting to have such a great guy! He is perfectly cute, good and smart. He is the perfect man I had always wanted. :)  And we both love to clean.  What are the odds of such a perfect match. lol :)

 If you never stop believing your dreams can happen, they will. :)

My next dream that I hope will come true would be getting a good teaching job in my area.  I have been working towards this as a career since I was 18 and if I could finally become a teacher it would be fabulous. :) Please pray for me.  I applied for a few jobs in my area and hopefully one will work out soon. I think teaching 4th grade would be great.  I was in charge of a group of 4th graders for a whole summer once going on field trips etc. and it was awesome.  I really enjoyed hanging out with that age of kids. :)  I think I would also do well as a 10th grade teacher.  10th grade was the best year of my life.  It would be nice to be in charge of that age as well.

Hebrews 11:6 "Without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

I love this concept.  That really is what faith is; believing that we deserve for God to reward us.  Why?  Because we seek him.  If you look back at history, what country was the most blessed and the most prosperous of all time?  England.  Why? Because they were the country that sought after God the most. Then us American did.  We have sought hard after God for quite awhile now, and we have been the most blessed nation in the entire histroy of the world.  We have been very much like Peter in the Bible; we have done some very stupid things, but we have done some very great things for God too.  There are some in America who don't care about God, but I think the majority of Americans still care a great deal about God and morality, so praise God for that. :)

God bless America! :)

And may we all keep seeking after God and not things of the world.  But praise God that he has blessed us and rewarded us with things of the world for seeking after him. :) "I know people say money can't buy everything but it can buy me a boat." lol :)

May God bless you all!

Be Careful How You Judge Others

Always remember to stay humble, and love, don't judge.  There is a place for correction and reproof of others, but generally we are called to be gentle and just love others. :)

I have noticed that if we can’t have grace with ourselves for our past sins, then it will be very hard to have grace with others. Forgive yourself for your struggles and you will then judge others less for their struggles.

No one is, or can be, perfect. But our imperfections keep us running to God for help, so praise God for that.  That is why Paul said, "When we are weak then we are strong" because we lean on and depend on God then, rather then ourselves.

"Love is patient, and love is kind."  When we truly love another, we will be patient with them and with their struggles.  We won't judge them more then we should.  "Take the log out of your own eye before trying to take the spec out of your brother's eye," Jesus said. If you judge, make sure you stay humble as you judge, or else it will come off as condemnation from Satan rather then a gentle correction from God.

And always remember, "It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance." Amen.

I think the main reason we judge others is in order to forget about our own sin, but we can't change others ultimately, we can only change ourselves.  Satan tries to get us to focus on others because he knows that is futile, overall.  We need to change ourselves first and then lead by example.  Be the person you want others to be. :)

I have been very judgmental of others in the past.  I think that's why I decided to start drinking and smoking, so I would finally get off my high horse and realize I'm not perfect. I love something we read written by a monk in college, "I feel it necessary to have at least one vice to keep me in touch with the rest of humanity." I will never forget that, and it's so true.  If we try to be perfect, then we will still have sin and that will be pride.

The Bible says, "All our righteous deeds are like filthy rags" to God.  No matter how much "good" we think we do, is it really good? Even in witnessing we might have ulterior motives, like to boost our own ego, so can that even count as a righteous deed? We might give money to a church but then might get prideful about it. We might read so many chapters in the Bible every day but then look down on anyone who doesn't. We might pray for so long every day but then look down our nose at those who don't, so then our pride negates the good thing we did.

Jesus talked about this regarding the Pharisees.  He said "When you pray, don't stand on the street corners so that you can be seen by men.  But when you pray, go into your closet and your father who sees what you do in secret will reward you."  Don't do your good things just to be seen by others, because then it doesn't matter.  Either your reward will come from people or God.  But really, there will be little reward from others, because you most likely will only incite their jealousy. Focus on only God seeing your good works rather then others.

"When you give, don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing."

Focus more on being humble and having a kind and loving heart then you focus on doing good things.  God wants our hearts more then what we can do.

And in closing, I love this passage in Isaiah 58, "Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD?  Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Amen!

Do that. :) Be that. And God will bless you! Care about others more then you care about yourself.  Because it's not about you. Your life is meant to be about serving God through serving others. :)

May God bless you all!

Sermon Reflections

Here are my responses to questions in our bulletin from this week. :)

When do you feel the most vulnerable and weak?

When I'm in love with someone.  When I tell someone my whole life story and they are able to then judge me and what I've done or been through, that is when I feel the most vulnerable.  I think that's why most people choose to stay a closed book, because when you tell all to someone you can feel very vulnerable and that can be a scary feeling. But overall it is still worth it, because being fully known by someone is the best feeling in the world. :)

When have you experienced God's light in your darkness?

Many, many times.  Recently with my wonderful boyfriend. :) He has been a bright shinning light in the darkness for me.  He has made me so, so happy and it's been absolutely wonderful to hang out with him. :)  And with work my current job was and is a bright light shinning in my darkness.  My whole last year was very dark with So much drama and confusion and craziness, but praise God I am finally at the top of my mountain.  I climbed up through it all.  I overcame.  And now I'm at the summit gazing out at the beautiful view.  And it is definitely a very nice view. :)

When we are broken, how is God revealed to us?

We don't see God as well when things are going perfectly, probably because we feel more self-sufficient then and like we don't need God, so we forget about him.  But the Bible says "God is near to the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." For sure he is.  When we are broken and life is scary and hard, we draw closer to God because we realize more how much we need him.  We cling to him tighter and talk to him more. I suppose God puts us in those situations because he knows they will have that effect on us, and his greatest desire is to be close to us. :)

How is God at work in your life?

In many, many ways. I love the new worship song that says "Even when I don't see it you're working. God you never stop working." God has worked a lot in my life in bringing great guys into my life that I knew I could trust.  That really helped repair my trust in men after my dad was crazy and my ex went crazy, that some men still are good, secure, hard workers and trust worthy.  Praise God that there are still good men in our society!  Not all of American is depraved. :) There is still a holy remnant.  Praise God for us, the remnant. :) Not many still try to seek after holiness, but some of us still do.

God also broke off of me greed.  I used to have a serious problem with always wanting more stuff.  I was never content with what I already had.  But God is helping me to be content with less.  Praise God. :) I used to have a lack of respect for the value of money but also for men and how hard they have to work to get money.  God has taught me in the last 3 months to value both the effort it takes to get money and to respect men more.  So praise God for all the ways he has worked in my mind, heart and soul lately.  Amen. :)

I pray God will break off any sin or greed or pride that you might have also.  Our greatest need is God, not stuff and not people.  It's nice to have stuff and people, but God should always be number one in our hearts. We can't have any idols and any gods before God. Amen.

May God bless you!

For My Boyfriend

I love you more then words could express, but let me try. :)

It is almost unbelievable how much I love you.
I love you more then I've ever loved anyone.

Seeing you is like seeing a beautiful sunrise,
Like the light piercing through the clouds on a dismal day,
Like the ocean on the night of a gorgeous sunset.

Being around you is like siting by a warm campfire all evening,
Like a warm, long relaxing bath,
Like sitting in the sun on a gorgeous day.

Words cannot even express fully how wonderful I think you are, but I shall try.

I see you as being like a king sitting on a throne,
Like a valiant warrior on a beautiful horse,
Like a captain of a ship in the storm mastering the storm.

You are the strongest, yet most gentle man I've ever known.
The love in your heart is almost unfathomable to me.
The love in your heart I had never seen before.
The care and concern you show blows my mind. :)

No one could steal my heart away from you. 
I want to love you until I die.
I want to hold you and care for you forever.
I don't want anyone in the world but you.
I want to be all yours forever. :)

How to Stay in Love

This blog will be a compilation of things that I learned the hard way and things that worked well in my previous marriage.  I was married to my ex husband for 7 years.  6 years were wonderful.  The last year was hell.  And then we separated.

Here's what made the marriage good for 6 years: writing love notes.  People often don't realize how we feel about them until we express it.  Make sure that you say more positive things to your special person then negative things. The best way to make up for any abusive things you may have said to them is to write a Loooong love note about all the things you love about them. :)

Women make sure to try to be content with the material things you already have and don't shop to much.  Before you buy anything ask yourself "Do I really need this?"  Our standards of what we "need" in America are very, very different from any other country.  We think if we have had a shirt for a year it's time for a new shirt, for example, but why?  Be content with less. :) Try letting things last longer. And you don't need a new blanket for your bed every few months.  I know it's tempting, but try to have self-control ladies. ;)

Men, FOCUS on your woman when you are around her.  Don't look at your phone and ignore her.  You have no idea how much that hurts her heart.  It makes it seem like you have no interest in her or what she says at all.  And it's very rude.  If you need "me" time, go out for a drive.  And men, don't look at porn.  If you aren't satisfied with your sex life, Tell her.  Don't just hold it in and look at porn instead.  That's really messed up.

To keep your love alive forever, make sure you hold their hand as much as you can and walk with arms around each other, because that's cute. :)  Hug often.  Drink wine together every few days. :) Don't just let your love die until you only feel like friends.  Try to keep the magic alive the rest of your lives.  Do what couples who are dating do the rest of your lives.  Compliment your special someone.  Men tell your woman she is beautiful as much as you can.  Women, tell your man he is hot and strong etc.  Guys need to hear compliments too. ;)

1 John 4:19 Always remember "We love because he first loved us." We Cannot love the person we are with unless we receive God's love for us.  When you fully realize how Much God loves you, you are then able to fully love another person.  It's not until you really grasp how much God loves you that you can fully love others. :)

The meanest people are the most insecure.  The best cure for insecurity is to pray without ceasing. Work on your relationship with God.  Once you feel like God is your Best friend, you will never be insecure every again.  For real. :)

May God bless you all!

Not Knowing What You Have

I love the line in an Amy Grant song that says "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got until it's gone." Isn't that the truth.

Hindsight is 20/20.  I kept thinking my ex husband just went crazy but really it was my greed and shopping addiction partly that made him go crazy.  But all the while I was pointing my finger at him and his smoking when I had a serious problem with greed. I could never be content and happy with what I already had, which was probably why he always thought I would cheat on him.  He probably assumed in the same way I always wanted more stuff that I would want a new model of a man too.  I wasn't even thinking that though at all when I was with him, but when he left I definitely did some searching and shopping for a better man.  I was somewhat happy to have the opportunity to try to find someone better.  And I think I have, but time will tell on that.

But we never know what we really have until it's gone.  I didn't realize how good I had life with Ben until he left.  I wasn't grateful for never having to work and getting to stay home until now when I'm having to work.  I mostly enjoy working but my feet and back seriously hurt a lot when I started working. :)  I didn't even realize how spoiled I was when I was with my ex husband.

And you might not like having to deal with drama from someone you love, but it sure is worth it when you get to hold them all night. No one wants to be lonely.  It's never fun to be alone.  I mean it can be relatively fun because then you can have peace.  But being alone is generally not fun.  If you have no one to share life with, then what is the point to life?

So value whoever you have and never let them go.  Treat them good.  Hug them as much as you can.  Cook for them.  Keep the house clean.  Do what they ask of you, and you will have a happy life.  Don't ever take the person you have for granted, because you never know when they will have had enough and be gone.  So be careful and love them the best you can.

May God bless ya'll!

Heartbreak Sucks

Love is scary and crazy sometimes.  I don't know why it has to turn people completely mad at times, but it seems to.  Love can either bring out the best in us or the worst. Love can be heaven or it can be total hell.  We all want to let someone in to know us, but then once we do, they can hurt us a TON.  So it's a big risk.

Love often is like playing the lottery.  It might be a waste of your time.  It might hurt when you loose money or your dignity or a part of your heart, but you might also win the lottery, meaning you might finally find a happily ever after relationship that will last forever that will make your life amazing.  But most relationships you have Don't end in Happily Ever After.  They simply end with you saying, "Wow, I wish I would have never met him/her."  But then it just becomes a huge learning experience, and eventually you will have peace about the time you spent on them, and you move on, and hope that the next relationship will go better.

All things work together for the good, in the end.  When dating, either you meet the love of your life, or you learn something from hoping someone will be the love of your life. Either your new lover boosts your ego and compliments you a ton, or they speak hard truths to you and you learn more about yourself by being insulted by them a ton.  Anyone can flatter you, but not many will have the boldness to tell you hard truths.  Of course often times in love we say things we don't mean and that have no wisdom just to hurt the other person the way they hurt us.

It's amazing that any of us take the risk of falling in love again after getting our heart broken. Is it stupid or couragous? It's hard to say. :)