The Good and Bad of Divorce

 My mom divorced my dad because he didn't want to go to church or counseling anymore. Looking back it might have been because we were living in the country and he had an old truck. Maybe he was fed up with driving in the Nebraska snow and ice. I was mad at my mom most of my life for staying married to my dad after he molested me. But really maybe her divorcing him was the worst thing she did.  She was too proud. She thought she could be alone and be fine. She gave up all sex and any extra money just because he refused to go to church. And then she was miserable. She turned into the most depressed person anyone has seen. She died while she was still alive. Control can be evil. She wanted what she wanted and would not budge. So my brother and I were left to flounder without a father. We felt broken from that point on and lost and weak and confused. 

I have always wondered if my dad would have been a totally perfect man if he had married another lady. Was my mom the cause of him molesting me? Did she catalyze that whole event? Then 25 years later the same situation repeated itself. Different man, same occurrence. But both men were married to my mom. 

What causes evil behavior in men? Is it the woman they are with? Most men in prison are there because they were trying to keep a woman. Maybe they stole or killed someone, but a woman was usually the cause. Adam ate the apple because Eve told him to. 

Women can help change a man, for the good or bad. 

I suppose that is why my former in laws blamed me for my ex going crazy. Would he have still gone crazy if he married someone else? Probably. I think he definitely would have. He should never have gotten married. Some people can't handle marriage. Once a man is deformed in his mind maybe there is not much anyone can do to change him. If he is set on being crazy in any way, he will be. Men are stubborn. They generally will always do what they want to. 

Sometimes divorce is necessary. Sometimes it is the only good solution. It might be the only way to be safe. 

But don't divorce if you are still in love. Make that love last. Hold onto it. You never know if you will get another chance to live happily ever after.