My brother is visiting and it has been so nice to have him here. Out of anyone in the world he knows me the best, since he has been around me for 28 years and we walked the same path most of our lives.
He gave some feedback about myself which was probably good since he is one of the few people in the world I have always listened to. Well he is the only one my whole life that I have listened to, but the other two people that I will are my mom and best friend Ashley. They have earned the right to speak into my life also because they have been there for me coutless times. But my brother is practically the same person as me so I know he understands me the best out of anyone in the world. :) I love you Nate. :)
My brother said that I have a tendency to expect too much, from myself and others, but mainly myself, and that it drains my energy. Which I can totally see. The only question is how do I fix that? I'm not sure really.
Ben is helping somewhat with that, with me not thinking I always have to be doing something. I think that comes from living in California. The Cali mindset is you always have to be achieving something or your existence is pretty much worthless, at least it seems. Where as Ben is from Texas, which, praise God, has a completely different culture. Things are more laid back there, slower, more calm. Eventually we will be moving there, which will probably be very good for me, as it will help me to slow down I think; to not worry about always achieving so much.
Other things that my brother being here has made me think of is that I need to write a blog about my Grandma. She always said I would write her book someday, which I don't know if I could write a whole book about her life, but I can certainly devote a blog to her and share all the stories she's told me over the last 14 years. She has lived an truly amazing life.
Another thing we noted; we were analyzing the marriages of everyone in our family. I realized that the only real successful marriage in our family was between one of my uncles and his wife, my mom's brother. But every single uncle on my dad's side was divorced once, so their first marriage didn't work, and most have issues in their current marriage. Very sad, but true. But I have seen a good model in my uncle and his wife. They were my primary family that we hung out with for the last 14 years, so praise God for that. My mom's marriage is now good, but things were not good until my current step-dad sadly.
I wonder why most people botched things on their first attempt? Perhaps they were too young in their first marriage? They picked for looks rather than character? I'm not sure. But it seems the first one does not work out for most, for some reason. Luckily Ben and I have already had our first marriage experience. So we are on the second, which should be the one that lasts, like all my uncles have. Everyone deserves a second chance. :) But my uncle is the only one that did it right the first time. The other marriage that has lasted is my grandparents, but I'm not sure how happy I would say their marriage is really.
I have read statistics that the closer someone is to 30 when they get married the greater their odds are of sticking with that person and not getting divorced. Why? Because you don't really know who you are or what you are looking for until you are about 30 or close to it. So people pick someone in their early twenties only to discover later that they have drifted apart because they grew into two different people. Or they just did not think as much in their early 20's when they picked someone as they would have later in their 20's. Perhaps because the teen mindset is that we are invincible and we can do anything. We think everything will work out. This takes some time to wear off in our 20's. This can cause people to pick people that they know are a bad pick but they think they can do anything so it will work out somehow. So sad. Better to pick someone you know is right for you through and through, that has the same background, social status etc. Ben and I are a perfect match in so many ways, it's like we grew up in the same setting all along. But we are both more mature now, so we could see that and discern that.
If you are reading this and are still looking for your special someone, put a lot of thought into what you are looking for before you even date someone. Also, you cannot know who is compatible with you if you do not even really know yourself yet. So take time to know yourself. That was the problem in the movie Runaway Bride. She did not know herself yet, so did not know what she really wanted. It takes most of us years to figure ourselves out. But there are ways to speed up the process, such as by writing, journaling, meditation etc.....spending time alone with yourself.
I hope this blog has been useful and informative. May God bless you! And may he give you wisdom in your choice of who you will marry, because it will affect your entire life, so choose wisely. :)
Take care!
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