My Grandma’s Funeral

I was so embarrassed today. 😐 I was balling like a baby 👶😁 when I spoke at my grandma’s funeral. Sorry to my family members who were there, if that made you feel awkward. 😉 I suppose crying is mostly an appropriate thing to do at a funeral, but not many others cried, even my grandpa didn’t, 😞 so it was a bit awkward. ☹️ But May God help my grandpa and everyone in the grieving process and may they allow themselves to grieve, if needed. 😉👍🏼

Crying is such an odd experience really. Crying in front of others is for sure. It’s a very vulnerable thing to do. But crying is a gift from God because it helps us to release all the tensions in life. When we don’t cry, we walk around angry all the time. But when we cry, and allow ourselves to cry, a softness comes and we are able to then love others more.

In our modern culture we all know we tell boys and men to not cry because it seems not manly and gay, but now I think we tell girls and women to not cry a lot too, because now girls are trying to be like boys and then like men, providing for the family and being strong and doing it all.

Ah America. We are such a messed up nation. 😞 Men aren’t allowed to have emotions, other then anger, and all us women are trying to be tough like men now. So who is allowed to be weak and in pain and vulnerable? Not many. 😞

The story I shared that really made me start crying was about a boy in my grandma’s class when she was a teacher. He was a bad kid that she inspired to be a good kid simply by encouraging him that God had a purpose for him in his life. THAT story has always been my life motto and my life mission. Ever since I heard her tell THAT story I made it my goal to help bad people become good, with God’s help of course, which is why I write so much. 😁👍🏼 My background of having the child molesting dad that I have has been a ton of inspiration and motivation too to want to rid the world of our terrible darkness as much as I can. I aspire to be....Batman! Lol 🙂

But really, IF my Grandma had been a teacher in my dad’s class, I wonder if the entire future for him and all of us would have been 180 degrees TOTALLY different. I seriously wish my dad would have had my grandma for a teacher! Or at least I just wish she was IN his life! Even though she was his mother in law, they very sadly had almost no contact. 😞

When I was born, my parents were heavily involved in a cult church that told them that church was their family and to IGNORE their biological family, so my mom did, and look what happened to me! That teaching is kind of ok if the biological family is not saved, but my grandma and grandpa were two of the most amazing and godly people who ever lived! In my opinion. 🙂

A lesson in that for you all is NEVER ignore your parents or your family, they might change the entire trajectory of your life for a MUCH better direction! And if your parents are Christian and good, THANK GOD, and THEM, every day for how incredibly lucky you are! 🙂 Like my cousins Kaylin and Tyler, Steven, Sean and Stephanie, you are all VERY lucky to have parents who both love God. 😉 And my mom, Selinda, Skyler and Sparlin were incredibly lucky to have the parents that they had. So all y’all never forget that. 😉 God blessed you with amazing parents!

May God bless you all!