This is causing me to wonder about how much I can hear God's direction for my life though, because all along I had thought it was God telling me to write him so much. But hey, no one can hear God perfectly I'm sure. Before I applied to work at his store I had a vision of warm fuzzy feelings regarding his store. But now I am feeling Very far from warm fuzzies and the feeling is more like terror and shock. I am Greatly wishing now that I would have never ever worked there. I wish I could go back and not have ever applied there now. I can't imagine being arrested just for e-mailing him to much. I had no idea such a thing was even possible. I seriously only e-mailed like twice a day. I didn't think it was excessive at all. God help me.
On the up side though, if I was arrested for that, I would have a very interesting prison ministry. :) That's me trying to see the silver lining in every cloud. But I hope that if I cease any and all e-mails to him the charges will be dropped and this whole crazy situation will be forgotten.
This is interesting though, I actually dated a guy 8 years go who was a prison guard and he said most of the men told him that they would commit a crime on purpose when they got out of prison because they actually wanted to be in prison again, because prison is so much easier then normal life. I'm sure the possibility of getting beat up wouldn't be more fun, but you wouldn't have to worry about bills in prison, so that actually would be kind of a plus. People in prison also have tons of social time. lol :) We all know that bills stress us out a lot, for sure. I have such a positive personality I probably could be happy even in prison though, which is hilarious really. :) Not that I would ever intentionally put myself there. I have always been a law abiding citizen and I always intend to be. I have never significantly wronged anyone in my life, until now I guess, but I definitely think this guy is over-reacting. I always try to do what is best for others and I always put others above myself. I am not a selfish person, at least I don't think so. :) I am generally the least selfish and most kind and gentle person I have ever known.
This instance reminds me of another time when someone betrayed me and significantly hurt me and scared me. I felt very hurt by my uncle who I was very close to. But it was partly because of my fault and having a big mouth. I have often said too much and it has gotten me in trouble. I have often been to honest when I probably should not have been so. My uncle read my journal one summer when I was living with him in Hawaii as a nanny for his kids. I had written about how he yelled at his kids and how he might as well hit them because he was so verbally abusive towards them. He got so mad at what he read that he bought a plane ticket for me to go home early. He flipped out on me on the drive to the airport and told me I was scum. I think that was the last and only time someone was this mad at me that they wanted to destroy my life and make me feel horrible.
So now I'm in a similarly scary situation but I'm going to trust God to keep me safe. I will never e-mail this guy who again who I seem to have made so mad at me. Thank you all for praying for me. I need lots of prayer right now.
Whenever we have the greatest victories in life, Satan tries to bring us down the most. I currently have an awesome career finally and Satan is greatly trying to mess up my life. God help me! I trust that God will protect me. Thank you Jesus for your protection over me and all around me. Amen. :)
May God bless you all!
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