Saturday, June 1, 2013

Disney and Dreaming

I was thinking about Disney movies as I woke up this morning, and about how much they greatly shaped my personality and my outlook on life.

The biggest three when I was a kid were The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Pocahontas.

All three of those were focused on a young lady, and all of these young women had big dreams and aspirations. They were all ambitious. They were all dreamers.

But they were all also quite discontent with their current situation. Which is the problem with dreamers, they get so excited about the dreams that they don't want to be where they are anymore. They want the dream to come true already.

Think of the songs these women sing in their movies; Pocahontas, "Just around the river bend, I look once more just around the river bend, beyond the shore, somewhere past my dreams...." Ariel, "What would I give to spend a day warm on the sand....part of your world." And Belle, "I want adventure in the great white somewhere. I wanted more than I can tell.....I want so much more."

And also the song from Cinderella, "A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will loose your heart ache. Whatever you wish for you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish, will come true." Awe....Such a great song. :)

It is nice when dreams do come true, but the waiting process is sometimes agonizing. We are not content as things are, and we seem to just be in a holding pattern; on the verge of something great, but not yet there.

For example, before my grand adventure to Australia I had a waiting process and it was almost torture. I just wanted to be there already.

When I got the job on the cruise ship luckily I didn't have to wait to long. I interviewed over the phone and a couple days later I was emailed with my first assignment which was only two weeks from then.

I was literally shaking from excitement when I told my current boss about the cruise ship job. I could not believe I would actually be doing it! I couldn't wait for the adventure, for being on my own, away from anything I knew, for a whole new world really. And it was.

It's fun to do that job once, but too long is hard, since you never really have a day off. It's hard work working on a cruise ship.

But what else did Disney teach us as kids?

To search for true love. That your life doesn't have meaning until you find that special person. Which is somewhat true. Happiness doesn't really matter unless it's shared; just like money doesn't really matter unless you have someone to share it with.

Disney never covered the heart ache and the long painful process one has to go through to find this special someone though. In the movies it was so easy for them. They fell in love, and eventually, they got that person they were in love with.

Perhaps that points to the power of positive thinking. If you get your eye set on a target, don't loose heart, and you will get what you wish for, most of the time.

This has happened to me several times, keeping my eyes fixed on my dreams and them coming about.

The first time I really dreamed for something huge was to go to India when I was 14 with my church. My youth pastor asked me where I wanted us to go on our missions trip and I said, "India!" I was so excited!

I wanted to go some place exotic; some place most missionaries may have never gone, or would never go. "Space; the final frontier. To go where no man has gone before." lol :) And I wanted to follow in Mother Theresa's foot steps by going there. I always wondered, of all the countries, why did she pick India?

Well shortly after I arrived I knew why. I saw the saddest things ever; people bathing in the river or on the sidewalk, trash lining every street, the smell in the air, the depression on every one's face. They certainly needed help, or just someone to come and cheer them up and encourage them, which was what we did, with a few churches in Guwahatti, India. I did gospel magic tricks for them and we sang songs. They were all very happy to see us, which was nice. :) Just us being there showed that we cared.

The other big dream I had in high school was to make the Varsity basketball team, which I did as a sophomore. But this was one dream I regretted attaining.lol I was miserable on the Varsity team. I was not with my friends. But I certainly felt special to have made it, to have been accepted.

My next dream in high school was to make myself known in my huge youth group of 200 kids at Mariners. I remember the first night I went there I felt so lost and out of place. I actually cried in the parking lot, because I felt so ignored and unwelcome.

But within a year I was going with them on a missions trip to Taiwan. I got back, shared my story of the trip to the youth group, and the youth leaders asked me to share my testimony in front of the whole church! Now that was an experience. I certainly became known by doing that, and brought God a lot of glory. But my goodness was I nervous. lol :) I had not seen a high school student do that before or since. It was quite special that I got to speak in front of the church for sure. :)

Basically what I said was that I had messed up once in high school and smoked pot. A close youth pastor at a previous church questioned if I was really saved or not if I would do that. I realized, and said, that God loves us no matter what we do. He will always forgive us. Once we are his child we are always his child.

My next dream was to go to college and make it into the Torrey Honors Institute at Biola, which only let in the top 5% of students. Luckily the year they admitted me they were also counting extra-curricular activities, which I had tons of; ASB senior class vice president, Model United Nations debate team, basketball 3 years, choir 4 years. But on the SAT I only got a 1220 out of 1600.

They still let me in though. And I was somewhat surprised. My GPA was great. I graduated with a 4.3 thanks to AP classes, but I never considered myself a totally sold out academic person. I certainly cared about school, but I liked to have fun too and do all these outside things. And in my English classes in high school, I honestly mostly read the cliff notes instead of doing the actual reading. I was not very fond of reading before college. To this day I still am not a big fan of fiction. I just don't really see the point or what can be learned from reading fiction. I'm a big non-fiction person really.

So I had a hard time in the honors program. It was completely all about reading 24/7. I felt somewhat chained to a library desk, but I got in. I had made it. I was at the top. I kept wanting to quit the program but I never did. I ended up graduating from the Honors program, by the grace of God. :) I was proud of myself for sticking it out, even though I didn't like it.

My next big dream was to teach high school English, but that kind of got put on hold when I kept not passing one section of the CSET for whatever reason. So I kind of gave up on that. I also changed my mind on wanting to work with high school students after I saw what some were like on the cruise ship I worked on. lol I had hoped they would all be perfect angels like I was, for the most part, but my goodness. So working on the cruise ship somewhat made me change my career path.

But I did get to teach for about 6 months, at a private school, Jr. High literature and composition. That was definitely a thrill for sure. Every day was a thrill and a struggle. I found it hard to keep the students under control somewhat but my goal was to inspire them, not merely control them, and I think I accomplished that. My goal was to help them love writing as much I always have, and I think I did. :) Hopefully. :)

I brought in fun topics I found off a debate website. I had them write, for or against, on topics like "Is TV good or bad" "Is homework good or bad" etc. We had a lot of fun in that class. :)

The next dream after that was the cruise ship, and that happened. It was tons of fun, and I'm glad I got to do it. Especially working on the Mexico cruise. The Alaska one was slightly depressing. In almost 3 months we only saw about 3 sunny days. :( Which was especially hard for me being from sunny southern Cali. lol

Then my dream was to get an apt. with my brother, which we did for a time.

Then my dream was to be with a great guy I met, Roger, and I was for a time.

Then my dream was to get this killer job at a student loan call center making $16 an hour, which I did for a time.

Then it was Australia.

Then it was getting married and starting to have kids. And I met Ben. :)

And now it is road trips. I hope to go on several road trips soon. :)

Other dreams when I was a kid; to be a famous singer like Mariah Carey. To be an astronaut someday and travel to space!

For the most part they all involved nature somehow. I wanted a job where I was paid to be outside and explore the world! But, such jobs are very rare sadly.

I suppose tagging along on truck driving road trips will be the closest possible option to that. Seeing new countryside every day, exploring, staying in new places. Being a gypsy really, or a nomad; never staying in one place for too long. That was always my dream. :) So perhaps that will come true next. :) And perhaps I will get to say I have been to every state in the U.S. before I die. :)

This website is funny regarding that topic....http://www.lifeasatrucker.com/could-a-new-driver-take-along-his-wife-in-his-truck-throught-his-driving-career-without-being-a-qualified-driver.html

God's will be done.

Grace and peace be with you! And I hope some of your dreams are coming true or have come true as well. Keep dreaming! And don't give up. :) God bless. :)

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