The Past

 It seems I may have a never ending issue of trying to figure out my past. Why did my ex husband go crazy? It is like a jigsaw puzzle I will always be trying to figure out. I was just thinking he was like a firework. He made a lot of money for 7 years but then he died out. You can't be a firework forever. It is too exhausting. Maybe that was why all we had worked hard to build went up in flames. 

"The love of money is the root of all evil." We both loved money too much for the 7 years we were married. That leads to evil and evil leads to death. 😣

God also shared with me my spending on Amazon was the number 2 reason why Ben went insane. I was consumed with a lust for more stupid stuff. 

Number 1. He had to work so hard. 

2. Amazon. 

3. The Charismatics. It seemed they all wanted our marriage to fail. Maybe out of jealousy. Maybe because they are spiteful and mean people who only think they are Christian. I don't know what is wrong with those people, but something is seriously wrong with them. 

So we went up in flames. I suppose I could add Ben's wanting to be insane. I don't get why but I think he literally wanted to be crazy. That probably is why he was drawn to the Charismatics. He found normal people and normal life to be too boring. He could not mentally handle the boredom. So he decided to go insane. It is more entertaining to be crazy I would assume. 

I prefer to be entertained by movies. But a lot of people like to turn their life into a movie. That is always a recipe for disaster. Learn from the movies that you should not want all that drama and heartache. Don't create it in your own life. Watch out for trying to make your life as crazy as the movies.